EX-STAR
OPENS PROGRESSIVE GYM
SAN
FRANCISCO, California (AP)…Former Longhorns/NFL baller Ricky
Williams has debuted a specialized exercise-facility here in the City by the
Bay that lets members indulge in the herb-superb during and after work-outs. The
name?… Acapulco Gold’s Gym. Cannabis is
not only available to treat post-workout pain, the usual instrument-panels on
the treadmills come with built-in roach-clips and feature cup-holders for bongs.
Members have the option to pay monthly…or by the ounce. Patrons still need a
prescription for medical-Maryjane until recreational-use is legalized in the
state. Meanwhile, players for the Forty-Niners, Cal Bears, Stanford Cardinal, UCLA
Bruins and USC Trojans are already lining-up for injured-reserve!
The “momentum” of Week Six’s 8-6 effort was
short-lived as we sleepwalked through Week Seven’s 7-10 (another seven-win outing???!!!...53-63-3, .457),
falling on the wrong side of the first half-dozen final-scores on the weekend
before getting some relief from the Saturday’s later games. With the third and
final presidential debate back in town tonight, security is pretty tight around
da’ Vegas Valley, but officials still have no idea how to protect the
candidates from…
THE
WEBER KID’S 2016 WEEK 8 FORECAST
(Totally Odellin’
it!)
THURS.
OCT. 20
Brigham
Young (+7) over #14 BOISE STATE: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. Yeah,
it’s iffy taking a road dog off a double-OT victory to beat
currently-highest-ranked Group of Five club, but this could be the match that de-rails Da’ Broncos’ post-season
dreams and relegates them to a December game in Sin City (again!), allowing
Western Michigan to excel elsewhere. Broncos have failed to cover the spread in
three tries on the blue carpet this season and have lost outright to BYU in two
of last three years. Six of da’ Cougars games to-date have been decided by 7 or
less and the seventh was a 17-point margin-of-victory over Michigan State in
East Lansing. BYU has covered all four tilts away from Provo in 2016 and QB
Taysom Hill is da’ Man…BYU 27 BSU 24
SAT.
OCT. 22
#6
Texas A&M @ #1 ALABAMA (“Under 58 ½”): Crimson Trype 31
Aggies 17
PENN
STATE (+19) over #2 Ohio State: We’re just hopin’ this doesn’t
turn into “Michigan: Da’ Sequel”. Lions couldn’t get outta’ their way in that
one and the Wolverines established big distance fairly early. Special teams will be important for the hosts
and they’ll need a good game from RB Saquon Barkley, 6th in rushing
in the conference at 97 ypg and 8 scores. On the other sideline, Buckeyes have three players among top eleven in B10
rushing, including #2 Mike Weber (no relation) at 102 ypg. In Serape Valley, we like…Buckeyes 31 Alma
Mater 16
#3
MICHIGAN (-35 ½) over
Illinois: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Illini show 1-2 SU/2-1 ATS record in the Big
Tentpeg, but got their inaugural FBS outright victory last week with 17-point
win over conference whipping-boy Rutgers. UI lost earlier by 3 to Purdue club
that just jettisoned its head coach and suffered home-loss to Western Michigan
by 24. Meanwhile, it’s Homecoming in
Ann Arbor, can’t see Wolverines looking-ahead given current condition of “Little
Brother” and Harbaugh has already shown the conscience of a sociopath when it
comes to piling-on…Big Blue 51 Illinois 6
#4
Clemson: IDLE (next @ Florida State) (We ain’t crushed to see da’ Tigers on the
sidelines this week. See Shoppe Talk
below)
Oregon
State (+37) over #5 WASHINGTON: UDUB 45 Beavers 14
#7
LOUISVILLE (-20) over NC State: ‘Pack caught Clemson in
a letdown spot and nearly took out the Tigers on the road, but now face letdown
of their own, having missed three FGs in that game that woulda’ give ‘em a
signature win. Cards failed to exhaust post-loss emotions following Clemson
during a bye week and got way more of a challenge from Duke than they wanted. Back to our regularly-scheduled programming…Da’
Ville 45 State 20
Purdue
(+24) over #8 NEBRASKA: Look for better things from Boilers’
now that former-Coach Hazell is history. Meanwhile, the Big Red Wedding (for the Game of Thrones fans) should be peering
forward to date in Madison vs. da’ Badgers. Boilers have been money as
double-digits road dogs and when facing Top 25 foes…Corn Chowder 35 Choo-Choos
16
#9
Baylor: IDLE (next @ Texas)
#10
Wisconsin (-3 ½) over IOWA: “Under 42 ½” might be a
solid play in this one too. We’re not ignoring the possible letdown-concept
here, just considering fact that it’s a nominal spread for a team that’s far-better
than its record. Iowa might even lead at
the half, but final score belongs to…Badgers 17 Hawkeyes 10
#11
Houston (-21) over SMU: Houston 42 Pummel Horses 17
Texas
Christian @ #12 WEST VIRGINIA (“Over 65”): TCU’s just 1-4
ATS, off a bye having dodged upset bid by (GASP!) Kansas and points-wise seem to play to the pace of opposing
offenses. That portends a lotta’ points here. Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com also shows the Frog-Legs at 12-0 with
rest…WVU 44 Kermits 38
#13
Florida State: IDLE (next vs. Clemson)
#15
Florida: IDLE (next vs. Joja’)
#16
Oklahoma @ TEXAS TECH (“Over
84”): Running OK’s offense is Baker Mayfield, who returns to Waco three seasons
after starting at QB for da’ Red Raiders!
Tech is being spotted two touchdowns here, but we anticipate points-a-go-go
here! Only four teams allow more ppg than TTU and in all honesty, da’ Schooners
haven’t stopped any of the better teams they’ve lined-up against either...Oklahoma
49 Guns Up 42
#21
AUBURN (-9 ½ and “under 55 ½”) over #17 Arkansas: Tigers
28 Hogs 17
#18
Tennessee: IDLE (next @ South Carolina)
#19
Utah @ UCLA: OFF
Eastern
Michigan (+23 ½) over #20 WESTERN MICHIGAN: In the Spring, EMU students and school officials proposed bailing
outta’ Division I. Who are these guys
and what’d they do with da’ Ypsilanti Iggles???!!! Broncos have game at
improved Ball State (5-2 SU/4-3 ATS) next. Last two years have seen contests
with EMU losing by 30 in 2015 and by 44 in 2014, but Coach Creighton, now in
his third year, has 16 starters back and has his guys (5-2 SU) poised to go
bowlin’ with one more victory. Better options for that win are later in the
schedule, but we see a decent showing here…WMU 39 EMU 27
#22
North Carolina (-8 ½) over VIRGINIA: Second choice for “lock”… Tarheels 37 Cavs 23
#25
LSU
(-5 ½) over #23 Mississippi: Not too
unlike aforementioned Eastern Michigan, the
LSU football team coulda’ been toast due to budget troubles based on the
governor’s assertion last February. Not unlike Purdue, da’ Bengals are under
new management, having finally decided the Les Miles thing wasn’t gettin’ it
done and blasted SoMiss after the fact. Rebels are 3-3 SU and will prolly take
out Joja’ Sudden and Vandy, but appear to need an upset elsewhere to get to a
December game. Layin’ more than a FG with LSU remains scary, but Ole Mist’s
tussle vs. ‘Bama seems ions ago and hosts have won 22 of last 25 in Death
Valley…Bengals 24 Mississippi 17
#24
NAVY (+2 ½) over Memphis: Choice is more about Sailors’
ongoing ability to successfully-defend the home harbor than the upset (also in
Annapolis) over Houston two weeks ago. Middies got an unanticipated-but-likely-welcomed
fortnight off due to weather-postponement of last week’s tilt at ECU. Coming
into the season, Tigers had one more SU victory in the previous 2 years than
they’d tallied over the prior six seasons before that, but got blown out at Mississippi
State and haven’t really been tested otherwise so far. Navy won 45-20 in 2015, and then-Memphis QB
Paxton Lynch is now seeing periodic snaps in the No Fun League. Ensigns haven’t
been dogs at home since mid-2013, when they beat Pitt getting 4 ½ points…Armada
27 Tigers 23
BETWEEN
THE HASHMARKS
BTW, for a limited-time only, free with the purchase
of a medium pepperoni pizza or family-size bag of Doritos at Ricky’s “No Stems,
No Seeds” Snack Bar is an autographed preview of Vindy’s Week 9 Picks!
Jonny Linehan, punter fer
da’ BYU Coogs, put out a video for “Puntin’, Kickin’ and Lovin’ Every Day”, a
satire of a tune by Luke Bryan. Good choice since somethin’ similar to Garth
Brooks’ “Friends in Low Places” likely woulda’ got the special-teamer dismissed on an honors-code violation!
Sing it with us…”I’ve got friends in
lowwwwww places, where da’ safety
fouls and da’ cheerleader chaaases…my booze awaaaay…”
Urban Meyer took an
inadvertent shot to da’ chops by the referee in the Wisconsin game, who also
flagged OSU for sideline interference. Da’ Buckeyes coach will reportedly sport
a helmet of his own in State College, PA this Saturday, just in case! (BTW,
Vindy’s already put a check in da’ mail to the officiating crew in exchange for
an accidental zebra’s tug on Meyer’s facemask!)
This week’s obligatory bad-pun…if First-Downs meet a
mythological river in Hell, do teams…”Move the Styx”?!
May’s Kentucky Derby champion Nyquist
was named after Detroit Red Wings’ forward Gustav Nyquist. The horse ultimately
finished third, behind
Instigator…er…um…Exaggerator…and
runner-up Cherry Wine, in da’ 141st Preakness, having spent “the
most exciting two-minutes in sports” in da’ penalty box for boarding (barding?!) a fellow-competitor
outta’ da’ gate! (BTW, race officials called upon da’ Zamboni-machine to
smooth-over rough spots in the muddy track that day ahead of the contest).
“Locked
in a Box?”: Wisconsin’s
OT-loss to the Buckeyes elevates the tally to 5-2 (.714)!
Black
Shirt: The coveted-clothing goes to Oregon State receiver
Hunter Jarmon, whose only catch of the day was a 14-yard TD reception that
allowed the Beavers (+10) to stay within the number vs. Utah. Honorable mention
to Nebraska K Drew Brown for hitting the 39-yard FG with 45 seconds to play to
give the Candy Corn the predicted
cover at Indiana.
Shoppe
Talk: We’re still stuffin’ ‘coon-skin caps of Tennessee
(1-5-1, .167), while the idle Aggies loiter at 1-4 (.200), and we’re making
snake-skin shoes outta’ da’ Gators (1-4, .200). Tiger-skin rugs are on the
assembly-line as well as Clemson is 2-4 (.333), but show 0-4 (.000) skid!!!!
Vindy’s
Week 8 Best Bets: Last
Week: 2-2 Season:
21-18 (.538)
Syracuse –BOSTON COLLEGE “under 52 ½”, Weeziana Tech
-16 over FLA INTERNATIONAL, USAF -16 over Hawaii, Tulane +11 ½ over TULSA
Now if you’ll excuse
Vindy, he needs to go powder his nose-guard!
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