SPORTS-GAMBLING
PILLAR CLINGS TO SCANT POLITICAL HOPE
WASHINGTON,
District of Columbia (AP)…It wasn’t over when the Vegas Vindicator finished Election Night in a
third-place tie with Jill Stein. It wasn’t over
when the Electoral College confirmed Donald Trump’s win on December 19. Quoting
a Yogi Berra-Game of Thrones mash-up,
the Weber Kid quipped, “It ain’t over
‘til it’s Hodor.” Supporters of the
world-famous forecaster have besieged outgoing-Vice President Joe Biden with
phone calls, texts, e-mails and social-media comments to not certify the Electoral College outcome, clamoring to see their
hero occupy the key-seat in the West Wing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW.
Vindicator, who ran on the “Peace thru superior parlay-power”-platform, hopes that Biden, hailing from
Delaware…Weber’s old stomping-grounds… in his role as President of the Senate,
will throw the red challenge-flag, even at the cost of not only da’ challenge, but da’ time-out as well.
A 2-5 start to Part II beckoned us to recruit currently-suspended
Duke-hoops Junior-guard Grayson Allen to trip
the bookies as the forecast started to go south. A perfect 4-0 result on
December 28 gave us life, but a 0-2 tally (with Colorado-Okie State just
underway as we go to press) leaves us at an unsatisfying 6-7 on the “fortnight”.
Comin’ to ya during a sleep-over at
the local IKEA, it’s…
THE
WEBER KID’S 2016-17 BOWL PREDICTIONS: DA’ HAT-TRICK!
(More
toxic than water in Corpus Christi!)
DEC.
30
AUTOZONE
LIBERTY BOWL (@ Memphis, TN)
Georgia
(+1 ½) over Texas Christian: LOCK OF DA’ “WEEK”. Texas
A&M transfer Kenny Hill hasn’t been all that profitable fer the Frogs,
putting 15 TD-passes and a Baker’s Dozen picks
in the history books. Joja’ s won and covered three of last four post-season
efforts, including touchdown-victory over da’ Alma Mater in last year’s TaxSlayer
Bowl. UGA FR QB Jason Eason served up
14 scoring-throws, sending just 8 to the wrong-colored jersey. Joja’ had
unremarkable 4-4 SU in unremarkable SEC East. Still, Aggies won 24-23 at Kansas…Bulldogs
27 TCU 16
HYUNDAI
SUN BOWL (@ El Paso, TX)
North
Carolina vs. #16 Stanford (“under 54 ½): Cards’ new
supporting-cast has had a whole season to get in-sync with RB Christian
McCaffrey on offense. SU has won 3
of 4 nonconference tilts each season since 2011 and has already recorded the
hat-trick thus far in 2016, besting K-State, Our Lady and Rice by 13, 7 and 24, respectively. Stanford has seven
games “under” this total altogether on da’ campaign. We foresee UNC, who boasts a pair of outright victories over FCS
clubs, movin’ da’ ball, but coming away with three-pointers instead of sixes…Trees
27 ‘Heels 19
NOVA
HOME LOANS ARIZONA BOWL (@ Tucson, AZ)
South
Alabama (+14) over Air Force: First time since 2010
that all three service-academies play
in the bowls. Flyboys went 0-fer-five against the number givin’ double-digits
in 2016…Pilots 30 Jags 23
FRANKLIN
AMERICAN MORTGAGE MUSIC CITY BOWL (@ Nashville, TN)
#24
Nebraska (+6) over Tennessee: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #1. Both
sides looking to end the year on a higher-note after poor-showings in
regular-season finales. SEC East has been a major disappointment
(nice-improvement of Vanderbilt, who took out Rocky Top by 11 in aforementioned
finale, notwithstanding). Vols have lost a single non-conference game in each
of the previous three seasons and haven’t dropped one in four tries thus far.
Huskers are equally adept, going 3-0 to-date and 11-4 coming into this season.
NU has been betting-gold in the post-season of late, winning two of three
outright and beating the spread in all three, getting points in the whole trio. Huskers could hit 10 dubyas for
first time since 2012 with the victory…Corn Flakes 29 Vols 23
CAPITAL
ONE ORANGE BOWL (@ Miami Gardens, FL)
#6
Michigan (-7) over #10 Florida State: For all his exploits,
ranging from a Spring-training game stint as first-base coach for the Detroit
Tigers to climbing a tree with a recruit, Jim Harbaugh’s team didn’t quite meet
betting-public expectations (Sports
Illustrated asserted ESPN’s David Purdum noted the Wolverines grabbed more
preseason wagers than any other club to win da’ National Title, dropping the
odds from 15-to-1 to 7-to-1. Still, the Orange Bowl ain’t a bad launching-pad
for 2017 campaign that will see him have all of his signees on the field. “Uncle Mo” seems to side with da’ Noles,
who posted four consecutive triumphs to close out the regular-season, while Big
Blew was on the wrong-end of the final score in two of last three and have been
the wrong side ATS in 6 of last 7 games decided by a TD or less, but Wolverines
trashed Florida off defeat by Ohio State in 2015…Michigan 37 FSU 24
DEC.
31
BUFFALO
WILD WINGS CITRUS BOWL (@ Orlando, FL)
#19
Louisiana State vs. #15 Louisville (“under 59”): Second-choice
fer “lock”. Eighteen of combined
two-dozen culminated as “under” this total.
From 2009 thru 2012, Heisman Trophy-winning teams won and covered each of
their post-season contests. The outright-victory trend continued since 2013 with
qualifying-squads winning 3 outta’ 4 (two of those gained by last season’s
Bama’s National Champions), but tanking
against the line in 3 outta’ 4. Heisman-also-ran RB Leonard Fournette will be absent
for this contest in order to “focus on the NFL”???!!! Love him or hate him for
that decision, we respect the honesty…LSU 26 Da’ Ville 16
TAXSLAYER
BOWL (@ Jacksonville, FL)
Kentucky
vs. Georgia Tech (“over 61 ½): Bees 38 Wildcats 34
CHICK-FIL-A
PEACH BOWL (@ Atlanta, GA)
#1
Alabama (-14) over #4 Washington: First semi-final fer
the CFP Championship. Tide gains
nothing but psychological-edge with big win here vs. UDUB, needing no style-points, just more
points on the board at the end to vie for third national title in six years
against Buckeyes-Tigers victor. Having a freshman under center means little
because freshmen that start in Tuscaloosa play at upperclass-experience levels.
‘Dogs QB Jake Browning and his merry-band of receivers line-up across from best
defense they’ve faced, while many of ‘Bama’s players have experienced
play-offs/BCS outings before. Packiderms grudgingly-allowed 34 total points
over final five and 58 over last seven tilts. Sled Dogs have zero margin-of
error. Cher will perform at
halftime with the Huskies’ band and sing….”If I could turnnn-back Tiiiiide…”…Alabama
42 UDUB 24
PLAYSTATION
FIESTA BOWL (@ Glendale, AZ)
#2
Ohio State (-3) over #3 Clemson: Gridiron sports-betting
version of the “ugly sweater” contest. Collectively, the Buckeyes and Tigers
beat the spread 4 times in last 15 joint--tries. Clemson has walked off the
field in victory four times in last five bowls, winning ATS in all of ‘em.
State won and covered each of last three bowls and topped all three
ranked-opponents on the year (though covered just once). Winner faces Peach Bowl-victor for the National Title. Heisman-bridesmaid
Deshaun Watson was quoted as saying “I’m the best player in the country.”
Nothin’ wrong with a little self-confidence, but there’s gonna’ be a QB on the
other sideline vying to out-perform him and a defense across the
line-of-scrimmage wanting to eat his lunch given that bulletin-board material!...Buckeyes 29 Clemson 24
JAN.
2
OUTBACK
BOWL (@ Tampa, FL)
#20
Florida vs. #21 Iowa (“under 40 ½): Gators come in on
crutches, having lost 3 of last 4 and are still prone to nightmares over last
season’s Citrus Bowl 41-7 pasting by Michigan. Iowa ended regular-season on
three-game win-streak, including the defeat of said-Wolverines and
can-of-whoop-ass on Nebraska, yielding 26 total points over that span, and limited
6 of 9 Big Tent-Peg opponents to 17 or less. Birds already had a dozen
victories this time last year and will add a 9th to this season’s
win-tally…Hawkeyes 17 Crocs 13
GOODYEAR
COTTON BOWL CLASSIC (@ Arlington, TX)
#8
Wisconsin (-8) over #12 Western Michigan: Badgers have had
far too much time to about major-collapse vs. Penn State in the Big
Tentacle Conference Championship and will look to score early-and-often vs.
Western Michigan, who had a great year, but permitted a lotta’-points-against
in conference play. Wisky faces first non-Power Five squad since 21-19 loss to
upstart Horny Toads in 2010 post-season, who joined the Big 12 a couple seasons
later. Broncos have beaten the line six
times in as many chances vs. ranked-opponents, but WMU’s only Top 25 foe in
2016 was fellow-MAC’er Northern Illinois and shows 2-4 ATS record vs. B10 in
past four years, with the four losses coming by 9 or more. Badgers are covering
two of every three non-conference games over the last four campaigns…Varmints
34 Westy 17
ROSE
BOWL PRESENTED BY NORTHWESTERN MUTUAL (@ Pasadena, CA)
#5
Penn State (+7) over #9 Southern Cal: UPSET PICK OF DA’ “WEEK” #2. The
veteran-readership knows from experience that we don’t back the Lions in a
‘dog-role on the money-line lightly. Selection of the Alma Mater to win
outright here isn’t just alum-loyalty or false-bravado. We truly believe the
Lions have the talent, RB Saquon Barkley #22 in rypg at 100.2 with 16 scores
and #14 QB Trace McSorley at 258.5 ypg and 25-5 TD-to-pick ratio, to take out the Trojans…and gettin’ almost a
full touchdown to-boot is a bonus. Meanwhile, a closer-look at Troy’s
eight-game win-streak reveals two victories over teams with winning-records…by
4 at home vs. 10-win Colorado and 12-win Washington. Much respect for those
dubyas. The remainder came vs. two
clubs with five wins, three squads with four wins and 3-win Arizona. If the
lengthy lay-off hasn’t impacted the Happy Valley momentum and Lions’
special-teams don’t revert to early-season form...WE ARE 24 USC 20
ALLSTATE
SUGAR BOWL (@ New Orleans, LA)
#7
Oklahoma (-3) over #17 Auburn: War Eagle has toppled
16 non-SEC opponents in 19 opportunities over the past four seasons. Three of
those victories came against nobody-special this year but a 19-13 home-loss to
CFP #3 Clemson is respectable. That said, Auburn lost by 13 to A&M, 7 at
Joja’ and 18 in the Iron Bowl. Boomer Schooner, after an auspicious 1-2
beginning, tore a swath a mile-wide through the entire conference slate behind
QB Baker Mayfield. Oklahoma has lost badly to Clemson in each the last two
post-seasons. They face a different group of Tigers here…Sooners 42 Aubie 36
BETWEEN
THE HASHMARKS
BTW, when Vindy got the results of the Electoral
College vote, it was not “how Antonio Brown must feel when he’s dancing in the end zone.” In related
news, Vindy stated he’s also in-line for the recently-vacated honorary United
Nations Ambassador of Empowerment for Women & Girls after the sudden ouster
of Wonder Woman!
As part of his New Year’s
resolutions, Vindy will be purchasing a Pokemon-gym
membership!
Da’ Big 12 is looking into
getting’ a channel on the telly dedicated to its own conference (last of the
Power Five to do so). Found somewhere on your TV Guide between Shakespearean-fare Big Twelfth Night and season holiday programming called the Big Twelve Days of Christmas!
If an infamous Game
of Thrones marriage-sequence had been filmed in Lincoln, Nebraska, would it
have been known as the “Big Red
Wedding”???!!!
Donald Trump during his campaign said he “plans to
drain Da’ Swamp”. We wonder how the
folks in Gainesville feel about that!
Vindy’s
Picks…a world-leader in fake news!
Is it wrong that while we watched Ben Hur on Christmas Day, a particular
scene of horse-drawn chariots circling the track to take their
starting-positions just-ahead of the beginning of the race made us of think of
the grounds-crews that cover the baseball-diamond with tarp during
rain-delays?! And that the subsequent race-sequence flashed-us back to Danny
Zuko beating Leo Balmudo on “Thunder Road” in Grease???!!!
Bizarre random thought…would a film about the
Marines’ bowling team be entitled “Full Kegel
Jacket”???!!!
“Locked
in a Box?”: Maryland-Boston
College unexpectedly soared “over” the 44-point total, moving us back to 8-8
(.500).
Black
Shirt: The coveted-undergarment is gladly bestowed upon
Texas A&M QB Trevor Knight for the pass that fell short on a late 4th-and-8
conversion try, preserving our Kansas State (+3) upset pick of da’ week!
Shoppe
Talk: Da’ Iggles of Boston College (0-4, .000) hosed us
for the fourth time in as many chances, while Wazzou betrayed the Picks for a
fourth-consecutive outing after opening the year at 2-0 (.333).
Vindy’s
Bowl Predictions Part III Best Bets: Last
Week: 2-1 Season: 41-42 (.494)
Georgia-Texas Christian “under 49 ½”, Stanford -2
over North Carolina, Michigan-Florida State “over 51 ½”, Weeziana State -3 over
Louisville, Iowa +3 over Florida
Don’t touch that dial. We’ll back by January 8 with
our pick for the National Championship game, annual bowl- recap and…leftover “hash”!!!!
(And there’s no app for ‘dat!)
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