SAFETY PROTOCOLS FORCE TEMPORARY CHANGE OF OPERATIONAL LOCALES
MOSCOW, Idaho (TMZ)…Travel restrictions and limitations on gatherings during the pandemic have led several teams across multiple sports to move daily business and “home-games” out-of-state, including such extremes as the Toronto Raptors displacing as far south as Tampa Bay to play within the NBA “bubble”. New mandates last week by Nevada governor Steve Sisolak even impacted Sin City forecaster Vegas Vindicator, who had to pull-up stakes and head north to his current boiler-room man-cave beneath a dorm on the campus of local University of Idaho. In a botched attempt to connect online with his prognosticating assistants, the renowned oracle accidentally crashed a ZOOM-meeting for the men’s basketball team. Coaches are reportedly now drawing-up options to “get the Vindicator a good look at a three off an inbounds-play" when the Vandals take the court on Saturday at Cal-State Bakersfield!
We’re blamin’ our 2-3 (31-33, .484; 5-10 skid) result and season-worst 1-3 “best bets” record last weekend on the reposition (as opposed to “repossession”!) of our headquarters to the Gem State! Scientists, this week, examining one of the mysterious “monoliths” that have appeared and subsequently disappeared across the globe recently, including here in Vegas, determined the transcribed alien-language inscriptions on the structures actually revealed...
THE WEBER KID’S 2020 WEEK 15 FORECAST
(Sponsored this week by Subway and gettin' “picked-off by Deion Sanders”)
FRI. DEC. 11
#21 COLORADO (-2) over Utah: Who da’ thunk in the preseason that Colorado, off three consecutive 5-7 campaigns and bringin’ back hardly-any returning-experience on either side of the ball would be second- (maybe first) best option for the 12-PACK to not only win a conference title, but possibly even get CFP consideration???!! At 4-0 outright, Boulder Bison have no real individual superstars. RB Jarek Broussard is 24th-nationally in rushing yardage, but shows mere three touchdowns. As a team however, Colorado is second behind only the disappointing Ducks, averaging 432 ypg on offense and 4th in scoring at 31.8 ppg. Utes have played just a trio of contests in earnest, losing two. Buffs are 2-2 over/under, with two games well-above the number (51 ½) and a pair well-below (including 20-10 victory versus San Diego State), demonstrating the ability to compete-effectively at either pace. Bison are bangin’ the boards for 31.8 ppg, while Utah has done so at 27 ppg, putting total on this one right on the button. Utah has breezed thru this series in each of the last three seasons, so CU certainly has revenge in its corner. Of more-importance is keeping USC beyond a couple of arms-lengths away in the division standings... Colorado 30 Utah 23
SAT. DEC. 12
#9 MIAMI (-4) over #20 North Carolina: Both defenses earned their keep last week, with UM pitching the shut-out 48-zip over late stand-in opponent Duke and ‘Heels grabbin' a gimme vs. FCS Western Carolina 49-9. Da’ U’s only defeat came in early-October against CFP-contender Clemson. Blue got bounced against Our Lady, at Virginia and (GASP!) at Florida State. Miami had won 24-19 and 47-10 before falling 28-25 in Chapel Hill in 2019, succeeding draining 24-20 neutral-site loss to Florida. Tropical Storms are 7-2 below the total (66). Pachyderms are 5-4 “over” this number, which keeps us socially-distanced by two shopping-carts away from a call on the cumulative final-score. Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com recommended going against North Carolina here and pointed-out ‘Heels have failed to win ATS in 7 of previous 8 getting fewer than three TDs going-up against a better-than-.750 foe. Backin’ a seemingly vintage-version of the Hurri-cons, we say...Pelicans 34 Carolina 27
San Diego State (+15) over #14 BYU: Sudzu defense does not typically lend itself to having scores run-up upon it. Coogs, in hindsight, blew it by scheduling flaming-hoop melee with Coastal Carolina, losing outright as DD-chalk, lowering the chances of a New Year’s Six post-season opportunity, being held to a season-low of 17 after averaging 47.5 ppg scored and now line-up against San Diego State defense allowing just more than 16 ppg. Aztecs have put 3 of previous 5 in the “L”-column, but by no more than 10 (to PAC-12 front-runner Colorado [in Boulder]). Taking more than two-scores here is eye-candy!...Mormons 20 SDSU 19
#25 Wisconsin @ #19 IOWA (“under 42 ½”): We watched Varmints get vanquished 14-6 by the Hoosiers. Wisky QB Graham Mertz looked more like Ethel Mertz of “I Love Lucy” fame...202 yards-passing, 0 TDs, 1 INT and 8 totes for 15 yards and a fumble. In favor of said man-behind-center, he got little-help from his peers on offense. Badgers were inside the Indy 40-yard-line 5 times, but got 3 of their 6 points off an IU turnover. Wisconsin kicked-off the year boasting 94 points, but have logged only 13 the past two and are giving up about 12 ppg on D. Hawkeyes are conceding about 17 ppg. Iowa is on 5-0SU/4-1 ATS run...Birds 20 Baggers 16
#24 BUFFALO (-32) over Akron: Kudos to the Bulls’ for earning inaugural Top 25 appearance in program history. Zip-Lock bags clobbered the Bee Gees 31-3 during MAC bottom-feeder match in Week 14, but have been otherwise useless, coming into that game 0-4 SU/1-3 ATS and showing dismissals by 31 or more three times. Bulls beat the two teams it’s played with winning-records to this point, Miami-Ohio and Kent State (collectively 5-2 SU) at home by 32 and 29, respectively. We don’t think covering minus-32 against 0-5 Akron is too much to ask, especially for a club looking for that elusive Group of Five berth in a New Year’s Six bowl...Buffalo 49 AFFFLACCCK-ron 10
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, we’ve been practicin’ fer our potential hardwood-appearance by launchin’ empty beer-bottles from beyond-the-arc toward a plastic 13-gallon waste-can!
In a follow-up to our Week 14 lead story...fans in Corvallis, Oregon marked the upset of the Drakes by binge-watchin’ a “Leave it To Beaver” marathon!
In March, the “m” in the name of future Las Vegas Raiders’ venue Allegiant Stadium was taken-down after being originally-placed a bit off. Likewise, the “m” in the Buckeyes marching-band Script-Ohio State practice ahead of its game vs. Michigan was also adjusted and...oh, wait!
In a “normal” year, we’d be focused on analyzing just one game this week...Army-Navy. 2020 finds this annual match-up as just one piece of an extensive slate of contests. But what we really wanted to mention is that the Soldiers will be sporting the insignia of the 25th Infantry Division on their helmets, honoring the “Tropic Lightning”. If ya haven’t seen that patch, Google the image. You’ll quickly realize why it’s affectionately (sarcastically?!) referred to as the “electric strawberry’ and the “flaming-hemorrhoid”! On the other sideline, Middies will don marble-patterned unis in a tribute to 175 years in existence of the Naval Academy. What the tiny, glass globes often played-with by young children has to do with it is anybody’s guess!
A man was arrested this week for reportedly breaking into Tom Brady’ Boston-residence. The intruder, found stretched-out on the GOAT’s couch, comfortably-secure under a blanket, was taken into custody, but later released on his own recognizance after invoking the “tucked-in rule”!
If a player squirts Purrell into an opponent’s helmet, is it considered “illegal hand-sanitizer to the face”?!
Black Shirt: This week’s coveted coal-colored cloth (who knew Vindy was capable of alliteration??!!) goes to Aztecs K Matt Araiza for missing the PAT following an early 90-yard punt return for touchdown in San Diego State’s 29-17 win over Colorado State in-between four successful FGs and another completed XP-try to keep the final tally narrowly-“under 47”.
Shoppe Talk: ‘Bama becomes the elephant-in-the-room of Ye Olde Taxidermy Shoppe at 1-3 (.250) after failing to finish “under 67 ½” (with some assistance from LSU) at Baton Rouge!
Vindy’s Bowl Week 15 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-3 Season: 31-15 (.674)
Boise State @ WYOMING “over 48 ½”, JOJA’ SUMTHIN’ +9 over Appalachian State, Virginia +2 ½ over VIRGINIA TECH, Cal @ WAZZOU “under 56 ½”
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