YANKS' VAX PERKS BOLSTER BUT MUCK-UP SILVER STATE GRIDIRON RECRUITING
RENO, Nevada (BBC)...Guvnah Steve Sisolak, away from his normal-flat in Carson City earlier this summer, speaking from the “Biggest Little City in the World” and nicking a page from other Colonist-entities, proclaimed the state would be trotting-out rewards granting American futbol scholarships to the UNLV Rebels and local Wolfpack, regardless of previous experience on the field for those getting sticks vs. COVID-19, even in light of the emergence of the Delta Variant! Coaches and scouts for the two unis-in-question did not immediately return rings them up for comment. The resulting “full rides” seem to be working out in Northern Nevada, while Sin City is reportedly in conversation with the Clark County School District to accept other winners on to varsity and JV squads!
We suffered a sub-par 2-3 (9-6, .600) outing in Week 3, (no bad-beats, no close losses, we just missed ‘em ugly!) but undaunted, we persevere.
Havin’ watched entirely too-much Olympic soccer, we’re “linin’-up fer a set-piece" with...
THE WEBER KID’S 2021 WEEK 4 FORECAST
(“Keepin’-up with da’ Jerry Joneses”!)
FRI. SEPT. 24
Nevada-Las Vegas @ #22 FRESNO STATE (“under 58 ½”): Maybe there’s something to the Bulldogs after all considering upset of UCLA, but the victory came in the waning-seconds and portends a letdown here, almost leading us to grab the 31 points. Rebels’ offense is a hot-mess and all four QBs have seen field-time (and not just in mop-up duty). Third straight Top 25 foe for Vegas, and frankly, unless it can best the Real Housewives of Las Cruces in early November, it goes 0-fer-da'-season. UNLV is now 8-5-2 getting points away from home, but 7-15 in conference play the last three years. State has won the previous three matches in this series by 45, 29 and 13. Countin’ on the visitors’ scoring problems to continue here...Fresno 37 Rubbles 9
SAT. SEPT. 25
#7 Texas A&M vs. #16 Arkansas (@Arlington, TX) (“under 48”): Now we find out if ‘Hogs are real-deal or just delayed reveal as da’ same-old Pork-Chops. Arkansas comes into this with a trey of victories after taking mere 7 of 34 on the scoreboard in the previous three campaigns. Aggies continue to inch their way towards the CFP, losing just one of 10 contests last season (at ‘Bama), besting the Sooeey Pigs 42-31 along the way. A&M is 3-0SU/ATS with 3-0 “under”, permitting just 5.7 ppg and was tested in 10-7 dubya in Boulder. Arkansas shows same outright/spread- tally, but 3-0 to the “over”. Until last year, series had been fairly-tight, with A&M winning by 7, 7 and 4 on neutral-ground. Both clubs are stingy on defense. Fine...we’ll call...A&M 17 Porkloin 14
#12 Notre Dame vs. #18 Wisconsin (@ Chicago, IL) (“under 46 ½”): Admittedly, we went thru all of our progressions before checking-down to a call on the total. Badgers hold the edges on experience and ATS on neutral sites. Varmints had last week off and show 2-0 “under” (with both tilts ending below this number). Leprechauns are 2-1 “over”. ’Noles game went to OT, but ND still yielded 29 in narrow-win against the Toledo Sputniks. Wisky QB Graham Mertz has zippo passing TDs and a pair of INTs (though collectively there’s about 175 passing ypg to provide some balance) and will probably move behind the running game with Chad Mellusi (132.5 ypg) and Isaac Guerrendo (another 74 ypg). On the Irish sideline? “Rush” is a four-letter word that, if uttered on a Saturday, results in penance being paid on Sundays. If the April Notre Dame intra-squad contest meets a certain-soap commercial, is it the Irish-Spring Game...”Linemanly, yes...and she likes it too!”??? Puttin’ all our eggs in the Madison defensive basket... Varmints 23 Smilin’ Eyes 17
#14 Iowa State (-7) over BAYLOR: Bears put just a pair in the SU-win-column in ‘20 and will bring some motivation into this one after 38-31 demise at Ames last season. Dust Devils 10-point loss to rival and current #5 Hawkeyes speaks more to us than Baylor’s demolition of FCS Texas Sudden and Kansas after edging Texas State Bobblecats 29-20, who went down to I-AA Incarnate Word to Yer Mother last week. We’d have expected better from Bayluh after scoring 10-points fewer per contest and conceding 10-points more per match last year. ‘Clones won 9 of 12 last season with just 13 total players back...Whirlwinds 35 Goldilocks & Da’ (Well...ya’ know) 24
Rutgers (+20) over #19 MICHIGAN: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Lay nearly three-touchdowns with Big Blew??!! Oh, hellllllll no! Line continues to move in favor of Michigan, several months after finishing 3-6, Rutgers has won three-straight to open a year for the first time since 2012 and looks every bit the part with good numbers of upperclassmen on both sides of the ball. Michigan has regressed on both sides of the pigskin and is young at the skills. Wolverines have covered 12 of 17 laying points in Ann Arbor, but have trip to Wisconsin next and have a claim-to-fame to-date being defeat of UDUB team reeling from a loss to FCS Hannah Montana. One more thought, Piscataway Paladins, who will be sans star corner Max Melton in the wake of legal issues involving a paintball gun, have anticipated this one ever since the ‘20 edition went to the opposition in three extra-frames. An outright upset wouldn’t rattle us... Ben Vereens 28 Scarlet Lancelots 24
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, had we not been already two-weeks past our second-inoculation circa mid-May, we’d have happily-accepted a 10-fer-1 buffet coupon at Caesar’s Palace, a gazillion-points of slot-play, a pair of season-tickets to Las Vegas Raiders’ games, a week’s stay at a local Motel 6 or a zipline-ride ticket over Area 51!
With Purdue unable to traverse its reported “largest drum in da’ world” thru the very narrow low-ceiling corridors of Notre Dame Stadium ahead of its melee in South Bend last Saturday, an altruistic Vindicator, offered an air-drum B&B and permitted the Boilers to squeeze the percussion-instrument through the hallways, ceilings, garage and door frames of our forecast-HQ (employing copious amounts of Vaseline and WD-40), onto the patio as a consolation-prize, somewhat keepin’ the century-year-old tradition intact. Much to the dismay of the band (but the delight of the neighbors), Vin was caught tilting the drum on its side and usin’ it as a trampoline!
Hooray fer Da’ Little Guy: None of our four possible upsets by FCS clubs materialized, though Jackson State almost got there, losing just 12-7 at Weeziana-Monroe. Congrats to Incarnate Word, who dropped Texas State 42-34 and Northern Arizona for topping Arizona 21-19. Notable near-misses: South ‘Bama 28-21 over unranked Alcorn State, Kentucky 28-23 over #22 Chattanooga and New Mexico State 43-35 over unranked SC State. As of this week, the opportunities are waning, but we’ll go out on a limb and propose Maine over NORDSTROM-RACK ILLINOIS, Texas-Sudden over RICE and Wagner over TEMPLE!
Prior to da’ January Buccaneers’ NFL Playoff game vs. da' Nawlins Saints pitting Tom Brady (aged 43) against Drew Brees (aged 42), the GOAT jokingly tweeted da’ contest should be played between the very-seasoned-quarterbacks on the History Channel. Had Brees not retired, we woulda’ suggested a similar match this season be carried by Turner Classic Movies in a silent film!
On Tuesday, MMA personality Conor McGregor threw-out an incredibly-poor ceremonial first-pitch ahead of the Cubs-Twins game at Wrigley. The always-volatile mixed-martial artist then inexplicably charged home plate and subdued the umpire via a rear-naked choke...getting credit for the knock-out on his record!
If a Blue Oyster Cult tune meets the host of the most recent Olympic Games meets a downtown Las Vegas zip-line attraction, do we hear...”Ohhhhh noooo....there goes To-k-yo....there goes Slotzilla!”???!!!
On a personal note...yer humble narrator recently expressed appreciation to Jake from State Farm fer gettin' da’ Vindy Value on his insurance rate!
Black Shirt: This week’s coveted-cloth goes to zebra James Carter, who inadvertently (?) stole a down from the Nittany Lions, not allowing the Alma Mater an opportunity to convert a 3rd-and-11, forcing an immature punt, stalling a drive and pinning Auburn deep at its nine-yard line, helping maintain the predicted “under 53”!
Locked in a Box: Now 3-0 (1.000) with da’ Corn Chex (+22), as predicted, bringin’ da’ A-game in a close-defeat at Oklahoma!
Shoppe Talk: We’re servin’-up Gator Soup this week as Florida falls to 1-4 (.200) back to the beginning of the ‘20 season!
Vindy’s Week 4 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 6-5-1 (.545)
Kentucky @ SOUTH CAROLINA “under 48”, UTAH STATE +9 over Boise State, Ohio +14 ½ over NORTHWESTERN (BTW...a candidate fer “crappy game of da’ week”), Texas-San Antonio +3 over MEMPHIS, MICHIGAN STATE –5 over Nebraska
