ORIGIN OF NJ DRONE-SWARM IDENTIFIED
MANHATTAN, Kansas (ITAR-Tass)...The FAA, in conjunction with the FBI and NORAD, has tracked the recent spate of drone-sightings over the Garden State back to local Kansas State University, which has allegedly employed the devices to gather intelligence about its upcoming bowl-foe Rutgers and flew the aerial-craft above various locations of New Jersey, including Piscataway off Exit 9B on the Jersey Turnpike, amidst a unit of ones designed as a diversionary tactic, over Asbury Park, Atlantic City, Point Pleasant and Metlife Stadium in East Rutherford ...home of the 2-12 NY Giants. (Editor’s note...nuthin’ to see here, move along!) and the Pine Barrens. New Jersey governor, Phil Murphy, has authorized activation of the local National Guard, which has mobilized multiple air-defense artillery methods, such as sling-shots, blow-guns, Nerf missiles, multiple launch rocket systems and composite bows-and-arrows to protect SHI Stadium, with orders indicating “Weapons free ... if it flies, it dies!”
Exhausted after spending several days and nights stockin’ holiday shelves at Bed, Gatorade Bath & Beyond between picks, we hoist-up...
THE WEBER KID’S 2024-25 BOWL “BETWEEN DA’ HASHMARKS” PART I
(Still bringin’-in more money than the recent cinematic-premiere of the SONY/Marvel movie “Kraven Da’ Hunter!” [Though not as much as “Moana 2”])
FRI. DEC. 20
College Football Playoffs First Round Presented by Allstate (@ South Bend, IN)
#10 Indiana @ #7 NOTRE DAME: “Hooshers” make the expanded playoff format under new HC Curt Cignetti following a 3-9 campaign in ‘23, but haven’t won a post-season outing in last five tries since 2017. Indy is 2-2 outright on neutral ground (though 3-1 ATS, losing by 1 and 6) and are now 3-10 vs. ranked teams the past three-plus seasons after getting smacked late last month in Columbus (the only Top 25 team it faced in 2024). Irish won 3 of last 5 bowls (covering 4) and blasted Army. Leprechauns are 13-5 against the line facing ranked teams, but only once by more than a full TD with XP. Our Lady took 5 of 6 straight-up in South Bend this year by a minimum of 7 points, giving up no more than 24 to any opponent in the process. September misstep by Notre Dame vs. Northern Illinois provides some film fer Indiana and neither side is unfamiliar with cold-weather conditions, but otherwise this looks like an easy double-digit victory for...ND 31 “Who’s Yer Relatives?” 17
SAT. DEC. 21
College Football Playoffs First Round Presented by Allstate (@ State College, PA)
#11 Southern Methodist @ #6 PENN STATE: Beaver Stadium will be in “white-out” mode for the second time on the season (BTW, the first 5000 Lions fans through the turnstiles will receive complimentary bottles of the famous brand of correction-fluid!). Nits apparently got jobbed by the zebras “officiating” the contest vs. Oregon, with some of that crew being sent to the pine for a long-term suspension in the wake of involvement in a large-scale bribery scandal. State OC Andy Kotelnicki could easily have bolted for head-coaching spots but has elected to remain in Happy Valley. Ponies, off tough 34-31 ACC title match loss vs. Clemson (only their second defeat on the year (18-15 vs. BYU in early September being the other and 1-5 SU in last six getting points on the road) and are currently are reportedly gettin’ ready for that environment by blaring “Mo Bamba” throughout practices. Could actually be “La Bamba” or “Mombo #5” for all we care. Style-points don’t matter here. Reprising a famous quote by former Raiders owner Al Davis, we simply implore da’ Alma Mater to “Just win, Baby” (even if it’s merely via a well-timed “Glute Smoosh”) and move on to the Broncos. Expecting the Nits’ defense to do its thing in a lower-than-anticipated tilt...Lions 23 “Inn of the Prancing Pony” (Lord of the Rings aficionados will know that reference) 17
Back with more ahead of kickoff for tomorrow's Clemson-TEXAS game! Stay tuned!
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