NFL SEASON STARTS AMIDST WEBER EATERY GRAND OPENING
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (BBC)...As professional football players start to take the field in earnest and fans enter stadiums around the country to watch games that count in the standings this week, a sign on the door of a small, local shop reads, “Welcome to Vindy’s Bet & Breakfast”. Nope, that’s not a typo. No overnight stays, but patrons can enjoy flapjacks and a cup of Frightenin’ Irish coffee or a tall glass of Syracuse Orange juice while placing their wagers each morning. Think IHOP with a sportsbook. Previewing some of the menu items, we note the 3rd-and-short stack, a blue plate full of pancake blocks, some Arkansas Sooooeeey Pigs-in-a-Blanket with a side of Cleveland Hash Browns and “The Belichick”...any number of dishes made from recipes illegally acquired from videotapes of chefs at other restaurants! Restaurant-goers can keep their options open with “The Peyton Manning” (the customer can change the order at the last minute after quickly looking over the staff in the kitchen!), but should beware of “The Audible” (the chef has the option to change your order just before the server brings it out to you after surveying the people at your table). Truly adventurous eaters can request “The Safety”...what the order really becomes after the original meal is fumbled by the cook in his own kitchen and he falls on it himself or kicks it out the back of the restaurant before anyone else takes possession (By the way, the cook then gets to make whatever he wants from his own 20-yard line without pressure from the receiving customer!). Vindicator said if all goes well with the new endeavor, he plans to campaign for an eventual spot on Guy Fieri’s “Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives” on the Food Network!
Following Week One’s 9-6 (.600) to kick-off the year, Vindy avoids having to go to detention and clap erasers. Meanwhile, principals around the Vegas Valley this week agreed that students not wanting to listen to Obama’s 18-minute “back-to-school” speech could move into the cafeteria, where they would participate in an alternative class assignment, do other homework or improve their vocabulary and literacy skills by reading.....
THE WEBER KID’S 2009 WEEK 2 FORECAST
(shovel-ready and still awaiting stimulus funds)
THURS. SEPT. 10
#15 GEORGIA TECH over Clemson giving 5: Seven of last ten between these squads have been decided by 10 or less (six of ‘em by 5 or fewer). OK, RB C.J. Spiller returns for Coach Sweeney’s first full campaign at the helm, but Tech’s won four of past five, going 3-2 ATS. Tigers gotta’ do something about last season’s overall minus-20 sack differential. Bees 24 Name That Bowden (oh wait...) 17
SAT. SEPT. 12
#1 FLORIDA over Troy giving 36: Trojan defense made some nice strides last season stopping the run. Unfortunately, the offensive production fell too. UF has had little trouble covering vs. out-of-conference foes in the Swamp (or anywhere else for that matter), going 7-1 ATS in the last 8 and 16-4 against the line since 2004. Troy, as the flagship of the Sun Belt in recent seasons, is an inspirational 5-2 ATS vs. ranked teams over the last three seasons (but lost to a MAC to open 2009). Volunteers up next for UF, but we like...Crocs 52 Troy 10
#2 Texas over WYOMING giving 33 1/2: Sixteen starters return for the Cowpokes, but Wyoming is dismal 4-18-1 against the number the past two seasons, have new faces at head coach and offensive coordinator and have gone 0-fer-four ATS against the Top 25. ‘Horns allowed a meaningless TD to Weeziana-Monroe last week with about three minutes left to give up the backdoor cover. It ain’t that cold in Laramie yet...Steers 45 Wyoming 7
#8 OHIO STATE over #3 Southern Cal taking 7: As always, this week’s Game of Da’ Year. Troy embarrassed State in 35-3 rout last year at the Coliseum. USC is 11-1 ATS in last dozen facing non-PAC-10 opponents. Terrell Pryor showed good touch on most of his passes and for three-quarters, State always seemed to be one step away from blowing it open. SoCal will, however, field bigger and better tacklers on defense than Navy did and contrary to Weber’s Week One analysis, the Sailors did uncharacteristically turn the ball over three times to give more State additional touches on offense. The pressure will be on the USC true freshman QB in his first big game on the road on national TV. That might be enough for the Buckeyes to turn the tables. ESPN will be trying out a 3D broadcast of the game at theaters in LA, Dallas and Columbus. Nice. If it works out, you’ll eventually be able to experience being sacked by a defensive end, catching a bag of peanuts tossed by a vendor in the stands and having cheerleaders fall from the top of da’ pyramid into your lap while shaking their...uh...pom-poms...right in your own livingroom! Let’s hope one of the two teams doesn’t end up being one-dimensional...USC 29 OSU 24
Florida International over #4 ALABAMA taking 34: In Coach Mario Cristobal’s second outing, Golden Panthers beat the line in 8 outta’ 12 and have covered a five of last eight tries against Big Six clubs in the month of September. Might be a letdown spot and too much to ask from Tide facing rising , run-first FIU....’Bama 35 Florida International 7
#5 OKLAHOMA STATE over Houston giving 15 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Cougars D, never a strength to begin with, took a step backward in Kevin Sumlin’s first year, but the offensive production, almost always a positive aspect for the team, increased. State’s gotten the money in 9 of last 11as home chalk. Houston hadn’t squared off against a Top 25 team in over three seasons before meeting...and beating...then-#23 East Carolina (by 17 away) and then-#25 Tulsa at home (by [GASP!] 40!)...Cowboys 45 Coogs 20
#6 Mississippi: IDLE (next vs. SE Louisiana)
#7 PENN STATE over Syracuse giving 28 1/2: Lions won 55-13 last season at the Carrier Dome and ‘Cuse has one cover in six tries against ranked foes over the past two years. New Orange coach Doug Marrone came from the NFL. We know how well that transition works, don’t we??!! Former Blue Devil hoopster Greg Paulus managed to keep his team in the game despite a negative assist-to-turnover ratio by apparently hitting all ten of his free-throws in the OT loss to Minnesota! Happy Valley faithful breathed a sigh of relief after Obama recently reassured them that under his proposals for healthcare reform, he “wouldn’t pull da’ plug on JoePa”!...Lions 42 ‘Cuse 7
#9 Brigham Young over TULANE giving 17 1/2: After getting blasted by Tulsa, Green Wave is carrying a 2-8 spread-loss slide. Tulane is another club that floundered to 2-10 SU record in 2008 and gets starting RB Andre Anderson back from injury (Wave managed decent 4-3 ATS prior to losing him). Tulane brings the A-game for Top 25 opponents, covering last five tries over past three seasons. Coogs just 3-6 ATS vs. non-Mountain Best teams over past two years. Yeah, it’s a letdown spot for the Mormons, but BYU gets a chance to show-off that explosive offense this week...Cougars 40 Green Waifs 10
Eastern Washington @ #10 CAL: No line.
Vanderbilt over #11 LSU taking 14 1/2: Early conference match-up for these two. Bengals have been seriously ugly 8-22-4 ATS facing other SEC squads, while Commodores have been mighty respectable 17-5 getting points on the road and have 18 guys back from team that beat Boston College outright in a bowl last season. Tigers didn’t exactly put the big hurt we predicted on UDUB, yielding almost 500 yards of offense in the 8-point victory...LSU 27 Commodores 13
#12 BOISE STATE over Miami-Ohio giving 36 1/2: Broncos were sloppy, but got the win and the cover against an ineffective Oregon offense. Redhawks coming off opening whitewash loss to Kentucky following last season’s 2-10 disaster. Miami-O plays six of its first seven away. Ugghh!...BSU 48 Miami-Oh, nooooooo 3
Idaho State @ #13 OKLAHOMA: No line.
#14 VIRGINIA TECH over Marshall giving 20 ½: Herd has yet to post more than 4 spread wins in any of Coach Snyder’s four season’s at the helm (and more than four straight-up victories more than once). Marshall is horrible as a dog away from home coming off an SU win and not real impressive getting points on the road altogether (6-15 ATS). Hokies won’t be happy about yielding Tide rally to lose the opener...VT 27 Marshall 0
#16 Texas Christian over VIRGINIA giving 11: We looked at this for “lock”. Toads are down to four returning defensive starters after making seriously-good strides on that side of the ball in 2008, but have lotsa’ lettermen back to provide some depth. TCU was idle in Week One and Cavs have covered seven of last ten getting points at home. Cavs try to rebound on heels of 12-point loss to FCS club William & Mary. Froggies travel cross-country and struggle thru first quarter of first game, then it’s...TCU 28 Virginia 9
#17 Utah over SAN JOSE STATE giving 14: This got major consideration for “lock”. Utes were minus-2 in turnovers and got a fight from in-state rival Aggies. SJSU will open 0-3, but will be in decent shape for WAC play. Per Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com, Utah, who has a trip to Eugene on-deck, is 17-3 against the number after playing Utah State. Gotta’ figure opening game jitters are gone for Utah QB Terrence Cain and even if SJSU holds Utah to half what it granted USC and triples its own points-scored, it’s still...Utes 28 Sparse 9
MICHIGAN over #18 Notre Dame taking 3 1/2: Here’s this week’s “no faith” selection and another good candidate for “wish I had it back”. Wolverines just 5-13 ATS the past four-plus seasons vs. non-Big Tepid clubs. While RichRod gets 10 of 11 offensive starters back in his second year as coach, the newbie is....taking snaps under center! UM did hammer Western Michigan team in the opener, while the Catholics pitched the goose-egg vs. pretty good Reno offense. One of the Big Blew’s nine (count ‘em, NINE!) straight-up defeats in ‘08 came in South Bend. A little ball-security this year would go a long way in avenging that loss.... Leprechauns 13 Wolverines 10
CONNECTICUT over #19 North Carolina taking 5: We flipped-flopped a couple times on this one. Third-year head coach Davis gets to work with a seasoned defense, but has a whole new offensive backfield. Huskies just 2-4 ATS last six vs. ranked teams, but are solid 8-2 versus the line in home dog role. Tarheels won it 38-12 last season, laying 7 ½ (and belted Rutgers in NJ taking 6). Sled Dogs brought home Weber’s only “best bet” victory last week, though not decisively. One more thought...UNC was involved in six games decided by 5 or fewer last season...UNC 19 Dogs 16
#20 Miami: IDLE (next vs. Joja’ Tech 9/17)
South Carolina over #21 GEORGIA taking 7: Another early SEC pairing. Games have been decided by a TD or less in four of the last five years (with average margin of 4.25 points). Dawgs have won four of those outright, but covered just one. Joja’ owns one winning spread season in past five despite DD SU victories in six of last seven years. Gamehens have a winning spread season in last seven. Something has to give. Pick yer poison. Even though, the Wolfpack had a TD pass dropped in the end zone and another deflected late in loss to SC, we’ll take KFC and da’ points. BTW, Sandra Bullock in “All About Steve” took a backseat at the cinema to “Final Destination” over the Labor Day weekend. We’re thinking box-office gold coulda’ been raked-in had the title been “All About Steve Spurrier” (or for the UDUB fans out there, “All About Steve Sarkisian!”)!....’Dawgs 17 Poultry 13
Arkansas State over #22 NEBRASKA taking 23 ½: Senior-heavy Red Wolves won’t be intimidated by the Chitlins of the Corn having upset Big Twelve’s Texas A&M, 18-14, on the road last year and losing just 21-13 at then-#4 Texas in 2007...Not-Quite-Big-Enough Red 30 ASU 20
SE Missouri State @ #23 CINCINNATI: No line.
#24 Kansas over UTEP giving 11: Miners are a crapshoot ATS, but with just a dozen returnees last year, they missed a cover in Austin by just a field goal. The Weber Kid has a futures bet on the Jayhawks, led by senior QB Todd Reesing, to win the National Title at 150-1 (yes...we know that means beating Texas and Oklahoma, then likely knocking off one of those two again in the conference championship game just to get a shot. We ain’t oblivious, just aware of the fact that college pigskin happens!)...Kansas 31 UTEP 10
Bowling Green over #25 MISSOURI taking 18 1/2: Tigers got 110 more passing yards and two more turnovers than Illinois in 37-9 win with all other categories being mighty close. Falcons also coming off nice dog win by more than two scores over favored Troy and have covered twelve of last 15 road games. Not a lotta’ returning starters on the stop-squad, but a ton of ‘em are seniors..QB Sheehan has also been around and led the Bee Gees to an upset of then-#25 Pitt in the Keystone State last season’s debut...Mizzou 34 BG 20
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
And the Sylvester Stallone boxing fans on a diet who patronize Vindy’s fining dining establishment can order da’ “Rocky”, so they can “eat lightning...and crap thunda’”....at no extra charge!!!!
Yeah, Vindy had “quarterback scrambled eggs” too, but since the actual IHOP folks did the commercial with Eagles QB Donovan McNabb first, we’ll concede THAT one!
Let’s Hear It for Da’ “Little Guys” (FCS/I-AA squads that made da’ “big guys” reconsider their choices to schedule them this past week)...”YOU DA’ MEN”: Richmond 24-16 over DUKE (“Mr. Paulus...Mr. Greg Paulus...to the white courtesy phone!), Villanova 27-24 over TEMPLE and William & Mary 26-14 over VIRGINIA. “SERIOUS ACCOLADES” in light of: EAST CAROLINA 29-24 over Appalachian State (no shame in this one!), HAWAII 25-20 over Central Arkansas, INDIANA 19-13 over Eastern Kentucky, IOWA 17-16 over Northern Iowa (whom we know for hoops more than gridiron), KANSAS STATE 21-17 over UMass, MARSHALL 31-28 over Southern Illinois (see our reference to Northern Iowa above), SMU 31-23 over Stephen F. Austin (yep, free throws, not free safety!) and WYOMING 29-22 (yet-another team we associate more with hardwood than hard-count). Honorable-mention to...WEST VIRGINIA 33-20 over Liberty!
In addition, we salute the service academies for stellar performance last weekend....Army, getting points, beat Eastern Michigan 27-14 on the road, Air Force strafed FCS Nicholls State 72-0 and the Ensigns of Annapolis nearly netted a major upset over Ohio State in a 31-27 loss1
Vindy just missed an opening week perfect-score call as the Utes beat Utah State 35-17 (your fab forecaster said 34-17) and didn’t mss the Penn State-Akron tilt by much, calling 31-10 (31-7 actual)!
The NCAA is promoting pre-game exchange of handshakes. Florida State and Miami simply exchanged pre-game handcuffs on Labor Day!
In the “Sorry, no relation” department....some guy named Weber kicked five field goals and five XP for Arizona State...and earlier in the day led the Golden Gophers to the aforementioned victory in extra frames over Syracuse by throwing for 248 yards and a pick. (And while we’re at it....Kansas has a reserve QB named “Pick”. Yeah...THAT’S da’ guy Vindy wants slingin’ da’ rock!!!!
A June 09 ish of Sports Illustrated indicated Matt Leinart was training in mixed martial arts. Great. The first blitzing safety that puts Leinart on his back will experience the Arizona QB’s full-butterfly guard followed by a guillotine choke until he submits by tapping out! Matt won’t be leading his teammates outta’ the huddle...he’ll be leading them outta’ the Octagon!
Comcast viewers in Arizona caught 30 seconds of porn during the 4th quarter of last season’s Super Bowl. Steeler fans laying the points, to include your humble host, thought the two final-period touchdowns by Larry Fitzgerald were obscene enough! (But Vin is considering uploading half-a-minute of sex-on-film to his blog site just to expand the readership!).
This summer, the four major sports leagues filed and eventually won an injunction to prevent Delaware from implementing sports betting. Two thoughts...1) betting is allowed only on a parlay of at least 3 NFL games. So, we can plunk down a mortgage payment on da’ Raiders, Lions and Niners, but an attempt to drop a Jackson on any given individual side results in “security” launching said bettor thru a pane-glass window????!!! Wussies! 2) Industry-insiders say opponents of the sports-betting legislation have stirred-up a (Del State) Hornets’ nest and da’ First (Half) State ain’t goin’ down without a (University of Delaware) Fight(in’ Blue Hen!)!!!!!
Thoughts on Michael Phelps (Part One of a Three-Part Miniseries): In February, a pic of Phelps smoking a bong while visiting the University of South Carolina was published by British tabloid News of the World, causing sponsor Kellogg’s to dump him. Kelloggs did, however, donate the already pre-printed boxes to a food bank (thank goodness all that cereal wasn’t wasted...even if the guy pictured on the box was!), but passed up the opportunity to target an unusual market by putting Mike on their box of Rice Krispies with Smack, Crackhead and Puff. (BTW, Rice Krispies treats are handy when those attacks of the munchies occur...or so we’re told!). Fellow sponsor Rosetta Stoned stock increased as thousands bought the language software to learn how to utter a few words while holding in their smoke and how to say, “Dude, pass the roach” in various dialects. Phelps claimed he had water in his ears and thought someone at University of South Carolina offered to show him his “stroke”. Playing on his iPod right now? War’s “Why Can’t Weed Be Friends?”
Black Shirt: The highly-coveted ebony tee given to the individual(s) for most outstanding performance on Vindicator’s behalf the previous week goes to....the officiating crew that changed the momentum of the Ohio State-Navy tilt by not calling a blatant Middies face-mask penalty that would’ve extended a late Buckeyes drive into the red zone with State already leading 29-15 and could’ve cost Weber a forecast win and lock of da’ week pick! “Honorable Mention” to Crimson Tide RB Mark Ingram, who rushed for 150 yards and caught the spread-win-deciding 18-yard touchdown pass vs. Virginia Tech!
“Locked in a Box?”: Following last year’s 13-3 lock record, Vindy opens 1-0 behind the Ensigns’ near upset of Ohio State!
Shoppe Talk: Ye Olde Taxidermy Shoppe remains closed this week as last season’s forecast troublesome Red Raiders of Texas Tech (2-9 in 11 forecast appearances) and Wisky Badgers (1-7) did not enter the season ranked (but we’ll be watchin’!), while BYU (2-9) came through with the nice upset (despite Vindy’s Week One note that Coogs were “not BCS-busters”).
Vindy’s Week 2 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-3 (OUCH!) Season: 1-3 (.250)
UAB -12 over Southern Methodist, Stanford +2 1/2 over WAKE FOREST, Ohio -3 over NORTH TEXAS, NAVY -7 ½ over Weeiziana Tech
Next week...more on (moron???!!) Mr. Phelps and a look at Vindicator’s expanded menu! (Meanwhile, it’s “no shirt, no shoes, no spreads!”)
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Vindy's Picks Week 1-2009
SPORTS NOT FORGOTTEN IN “FIRST 100 DAYS”
WASHINGTON, District of Columbia (MSNBC).... Throughout his first hundred days, in fact, more than seven months in, the new president’s actions on such things as the economy, healthcare, the war and foreign policy have gotten all the ink, but the early achievements of Obama’s presidency will not be lost on sports fans across the globe. Obama made his desires known for a playoff over the current BCS system, correctly picked North Carolina to win the 2009 NCAA dance (correctly picking 14 of the Sweet 16 and 5 of the Elite 8 of this year’s NCAA Tournament along the way) and later named Memphis star Tyreke Evans among the recommended picks for the Sacramento Kings (owned by local Las Vegas Palms hotel owner George Maloof, who made the former Tiger the 4th overall pick of the 2009 NBA Draft). The accuracy of his foresight has fans, bettors and touts alike clamoring for more predictions and already submitting formal requests to the White House to acquire the Commander-in-Chief’s choices for the 2010 BCS national title holder, Super Bowl winner and World Series champion. Shortly after taking occupancy of the White House in February, Obama passed on the chance to create a “car czar”, but did name Vindy as his “Wager Major” (which is better than Duke Duke, Screen Queen, Pass Brass or....Puck Schmuck [which woulda’ been his appointed position had Sarah Palin made the West Wing roster last November!]). Perhaps among the president’s more significant achievements since unloading the Ryder truck at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue was the revision of the inscription on Statue of Liberty to read “Give me your poor, your tired, your huddles and your passes” and the renaming of the presidential plane (to which the former hoopster referred as his “spiffy ride”) to “Air Force ...and One!” (Editor’s note: That’s for you, Brendan!), which got a few more votes from Congress for “having a better ring to it” than Republican Senator John McCain’s suggestion of “Air Force One-and-Done”!
Following an off-season spent achieving the high-score on Guitar Hero: Vienna Boys Choir Tour while following the weekly drama on “Real Housewives of Ann Arbor”, Vindicator takes the field with his 2009 Preseason Forecasting Strategy Team of... Bernie Madoff, Paul Blart-Mall Cop, A-Rod’s cousin, Obama’s aunt, Susan Boyle, Capt. Richard Phillips, “me..Minnesota Senator Al Franken”, “Sully” Sullenberger, Carrie Prejean, Capital One’s “Spaghetti Jimmy”, “me...Al Franken”, Mr. Irrelevant 2009...kicker Ryan Succop, Smilin’ Bob from Enzyte.Com, Spirit the live hawk mascot of Atlanta’s NBA squad , Kentucky Derby winner Mine That Bird, Kate Gosselin, Lady Gaga and “me...Al Franken”...to throwdown, Bobby Flay-style, against the college pigskin lines-making pantheon with....
THE WEBER KID’S 2009 WEEK 1 FORECAST
(AKA “Vindy Doin’ Work”...a Spike Lee joint!)
THURS. SEPT. 3
#16 Oregon over #14 BOISE STATE taking 5: Ducks count their starting backfield among the 10 total returnees from last season’s squad. The offense shouldn’t suffer much with former Mallards OC Chip Kelly taking over the head coaching spot. Boise has three spread wins in last five tries vs. ranked teams, including last year’s straight-up victory in Eugene over then-#17 Oregon...Decoys 33 BSU 30
Utah State over #19 UTAH taking 20 1/2: Uh-oh! Not one, but TWO Thursday-nighters to open the year on the coattails of last season’s 4-9 Thursday night forecast record (before Vindy turned in a near-miraculous 5-1 post-season record for that day of the week!). Aggies enter the season on a 4-0-1 ATS run and return 17 starters from last year. Utes are rebuilding the offense and have no QBs who’ve taken a live-fire snap, but bring back a truck-load of experience and have covered 5 of last 7 versus their in-state brethren. State’s gone 14-8-2 against the line the past two seasons and despite a new coach, we think it’s now or never to post another spread win in last shot before these two hook-up again in the 2013 season....Utes 34 State 17
SAT. SEPT. 5
Charleston Southern @ #1 FLORIDA: No line.
#2 TEXAS over Louisiana-Monroe giving 40 ½: The return of QB Colt McCoy, 50 lettermen coming back, a road schedule whose only challenge appears to be Halloween’s trek to Oklahoma State and last season’s diss over the Big 12 Championship game will likely put the Steers on a National Championship mission. Unless Troy is ranked the same week of the aforementioned game in Stillwater (or UL-Monroe shows up in the Best Bets column), this will be the only appearance in the forecast this season for the Warhawks, who are 5-5 ATS in last ten-spot vs. BCS conference clubs...Texas 52 Weeziana-Monroe 6
#20 Brigham Young over #3 Oklahoma (@ Arlington, TX) taking 21 ½: While the spread wins have fallen each of the last 3 seasons for BYU, who also hasn’t fared well getting more than a TD against non-MWC clubs and who only returns four to the offense, the Sooners only bring back five to the O (though some local Vegas kid named Murray should be back from injury...and then there’s that guy named Bradford at QB!). Coogs just 1-4-1 vs. other ranked squads under Coach Mendenhall, but we like the three touchdowns...Okie-Dokie 34 Not a BCS Buster (This Week) 24
#4 USC over San Jose State giving 34: No faith in this pick. Southern Cal has big game at Ohio State next week and Spartans covered last year at Nebraska as 27-point doggie. Trojans good, but not great 4-2 ATS in last half-dozen openers. They did, however crush Virginia last year right before the Buckeyes game and have missed just a lone cover in last eleven non-conference match-ups. We’re not usually in favor of the Trojans (and not a big fan of the SoCal football team either) and the Romans will start an opener with a true frosh at triggerman for the first time since Germany and Japan lost to the upstart American squad in the early 1940's. We did more waffles on this than IHOP and left it up to the hard currency. And da’ coin likes...USC 38 SJSU 0
#5 Alabama over #7 Virginia Tech (@ Atlanta) giving 6 1/2 : Probable early National Title elimination game, more for Tech than for Tide. A ton of trends support the Hokies here, but we figure ‘Bama is anxious to erase the sting of back-to-back losses (SU and ATS) in the SEC title game and the bowl vs. Utah. If this one was a Thursday-nighter, we’d side with Tech , but we like the fact Tide increased its points-scored by 3 ppg and decreased points-against by (GASP!) 8 ppg in Saban’s second year. Best call might be “under” the total (39). It’s defense and special teams winning the day for...Alabammy 19 Va. Tech 11
Navy over #6 OHIO STATE taking 22 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Sailors have lost by more than 22 only four times in the last five years. Electric sophomore Buckeyes quarterback Terrelle Pryor is getting a lotta’ love, but doesn’t have a lot of returning offensive starters around him. As noted previously in USC-SJSU breakdown, State may look ahead to hosting the Troy Boys next week and may not wanna’ tip too much of the gameplan. Expect well-disciplined Middies to grind it out with nationally-ranked rushing game and to avoid costly turnovers that would give the Buckeyes extra tries to blow it open...OSU 27 Ensigns 12
Akron over #9 (tie) PENN STATE taking 27 ½: While Akron might be a better pick a couple weeks from now when hosting Indiana (3-2 ATS last 5 vs. the Big Tent Peg Conference), and Zips are 0-3 SU/ATS against the Nifty Lions, they just missed the cover by a half-point in their last last opportunity (2006). Lions have just nine starters back, including none in the secondary...an ongoing sore point. Zips have experience at QB and WR. They also covered at Wisconsin last year getting 27 and in ‘07 at Ohio State getting 28. We’ll accept a nice three-TD victory from the alma mater...Lions 31 Akron 10
#9 (tie) OKLAHOMA STATE over #13 Georgia giving 6: State is just 3-7-1 ATS over the last two years vs. ranked teams, but a straight-up victory over Joja’ might just send the message we’ve been hopin’ for...that the Cowboys are ready to challenge in the Big 12. Phil Steele noted State hasn’t lost a home opener since (GASP!) 1995 and the Cowpokes would love to avenge a 38-14 drubbing “between the hedges” in 2007. ‘Dawgs lost their starting backfield to the NFL in April. “Under” the total (62) wouldn’t be a bad option...OKSU 38 Joja’ 24
#11 Louisiana State over WASHINGTON giving 17: This one got serious “lock” consideration. Huskies have beaten the number just once in six season debuts. The good news for the Sled Dogs? Quarterback Jake Locker returns from last season’s injury, sustained just four games into last season. The bad news? UDUB only covered one of those first four tilts, en route to a 2008 FBS-worst spread record of 1-11. That will change this year, but not against LSU squad that demolished a mighty-fine-otherwise Joja’ Teck team in the bowl. Bengals spend this Saturday doin’ laundry...LSU 38 Wash, Dry and....Fold 13
#12 CAL over Maryland giving 21 1/2: We looked at this for lock too. Ralph Friedgen reportedly dropped 105 pounds during the off-season. Did da’ Fridge revoke the Terps’ fourth-string punter’s scholarship or what????!!! (In all seriousness, we tip our helmet to Coach Friedgen for his Herculean effort and wish him a continued, healthy life!). Bears get a little payback after giving up five sacks en route to last season’s 35-27 loss in College Park. Terps haven’t covered an opener since 2001. Despite an offensive yardage production that’s gone up each of the past two years, we expect that spread trend to carry on...Berkeley 42 Box Turtles 9
Jacksonville State @ #15 GEORGIA TECH: No line.
#17 TCU: IDLE (next @ Virginia 9/12)
Citadel @ #21 NORTH CAROLINA: No line.
Northern Iowa @ #22 IOWA: No line.
Nevada-Reno over #23 NOTRE DAME taking 14: This Spring, Catholic faithful protested Obama’s invite to speak at Notre Dame’s commencement in light of his views on abortion and stem-cell research. We think they’re just upset because the Commander-in-Chief called for another 7-6 year for the Frightenin Irish football team! Meanwhile, former ND skipper Lou Holtz has predicted a title game berth for the Leprechauns. Hmmm...this would make one helluva’ upset, don’tcha think??? And if the game was being played closer to the Moonlight Bunny Ranch than to Touchdown Jesus, we’d call UNR straight-up, but it’s not, so we’ll just go with ...Wake Up the Geckos 34 Reno 27
#24 NEBRASKA over Florida Atlantic giving 21 ½: Just lay the lumber with the Big 12 North contender because the math ain’t pretty for da’ Owls...one cover in a dozen tries getting double-digits in non-conference tilts, just three back on defense, 1-4 ATS in the last 5 vs. ranked teams, 4-11-1 ATS slide as a road dog and 0-5 SU/ATS against the Big 12 the last 4 seasons...losing by better than 36 ppg....Children of the Corn 37 Hooters 7
Northern Colorado @ #25 KANSAS: No line.
SUN. SEPT. 6
MEMPHIS over #8 Mississippi taking 17: We appreciate what Ole Miss accomplished last season, especially that outright upset of Vin’s arch-nemesis Texas Tech in the bowl game, but the Rebels were probably fortunate in a few of their 2008 victories and we think a Top Ten spot might be a tad generous. Nonetheless, we’d take much joy in seeing a Magnolia State rep continue to prosper. Elsewhere, the last time the Tigers had this few starting returnees (11 in 2005), they went 7-5 SU and 6-5 against the line. Until last year’s 17-point defeat (one of only two losses by a TD or more), Memphis had beaten Mississippi SU or lost by no more than 4 in the previous five meetings since the start of the 2003 campaign....Ole Miss 34 Memphis 20
MON. SEPT. 7
#18 FLORIDA STATE over Miami giving 5 ½: While Vindicator would obviously love to see Joe Paterno edge Injuns’ head coach Bobby Bowden for most all-time victories, vacation of 14 Semimoles’ wins in the wake of academic scandal (involving a music history test) ain’t the way we wanted to see it go down. Gotta’ wonder if that hit will fire-up State to beat the ‘Canes by more than 3 for the first time since 1999. Miami lost a 41-39 shootout last year. New coordinators on each side of the ball keeps us from taking the Pelicans and da’ points. No change in the FSU deficit this week as PSU and FSU post SU wins...Da’ Chop 20 Tropical Depressions 13
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, longest-shot-in-the-field Mine That Bird’s original moniker was Mime That Bird, but jockey Calvin Borel was embarrassed to wear the beret, face paint and striped shirt, and never did quite get da’ hang of pretending to spur his steed with the imaginary riding crop!
On the big screen this summer...The Nittany Lions head coach recovers from injury and returns to patrol the Penn State sideline, sporting camouflage and Kevlar body armor while armed to the teeth with more high-tech military weapons than you can shake a stick at...in...”G.I. JoePa: Rise of Da’ Coordinator”!!!
Sampling the aforementioned FSU music history exam, we find the following questions: #12 Disco Duck and Convoy were popular in which decade? a) 1860's b) 1920's c) 1970's d) 2050's? #54 Eight-Mile was a biography about what rapper? a) Eminem b) M Night Shyamalan, c) S&M d) Auntie Em. #101 The movie “The Jazz Singer” featured what 1920's entertainer? a) Weird Al Yankovic, b) Albert Pujols, c) Al Jolson, d) Alvin & the Chipmunks, e) Fat Albert. #139 Fill in the blank....“1985" was a song by Bowling for Soup based on what year? #160 Fill in the blank...”Who let the _______ out?!” a) hem b) air c) snakes d) dogs.
As we noted this time last season, in all but one season from 1993 to 2008, at least two teams unranked in the Associated Press preseason Top 25 poll eventually finished in the AP Top 10 that same season Utah and fellow Mountain Best squad TCU [which was nowhere on the AP preseason radar] managed that feat last year. Your mission...should you choose to accept it...is to figure out who the 2009 season interlopers will be. Our guess?...Two of three from Pitt, Rutgers or NC State (watch da’ Wolfpack at least on a ATS basis!).
Obama admitted to sporting “frumpy” jeans while throwing out the ceremonial first pitch of July’s All-Star game. Looked more like he was ready for an NBA shoot-around session! At least his Michael Jordan Hanes weren’t showing! The Commander-in-Chief launched a sweeping, lolly-pop curve ball right down the middle. Democrats worried it showed him as “too moderate”, but Republicans saw it as “too far to the left”!
Jon and Kate Plus Eight???!!! Damn!....Vindicator only got them with 7 1/2!!!!!!
Shoppe Talk: Will Texas Tech, who showed up only twice on the predicted side of the spread in eleven forecast opportunities (the second win coming in this past January’s Cotton Bowl!), continue to be the bane of the Weber Kid’s existence or will another contender rise up to torment our hero???!!!
Vindy’s Week 1 Best Bets: Last Year: 42-25-1 (.627) Last Week: 0-0 Season: 0-0 (.000)
NC STATE -4 over South Carolina, Rice +5 1/2 over ALABAMA-BIRMINGHAM, Middle Tennessee State +19 1/2 over CLEMSON, Connecticut -4 over OHIO
Vindicator came out conservative in this forecast, but don’t touch that dial! Next week...thoughts on Michael Phelps, the NFL, more of the off-season silliness and a new football-themed facility for consumption of “mass quantities” yer not gonna’ wanna’ miss!!
WASHINGTON, District of Columbia (MSNBC).... Throughout his first hundred days, in fact, more than seven months in, the new president’s actions on such things as the economy, healthcare, the war and foreign policy have gotten all the ink, but the early achievements of Obama’s presidency will not be lost on sports fans across the globe. Obama made his desires known for a playoff over the current BCS system, correctly picked North Carolina to win the 2009 NCAA dance (correctly picking 14 of the Sweet 16 and 5 of the Elite 8 of this year’s NCAA Tournament along the way) and later named Memphis star Tyreke Evans among the recommended picks for the Sacramento Kings (owned by local Las Vegas Palms hotel owner George Maloof, who made the former Tiger the 4th overall pick of the 2009 NBA Draft). The accuracy of his foresight has fans, bettors and touts alike clamoring for more predictions and already submitting formal requests to the White House to acquire the Commander-in-Chief’s choices for the 2010 BCS national title holder, Super Bowl winner and World Series champion. Shortly after taking occupancy of the White House in February, Obama passed on the chance to create a “car czar”, but did name Vindy as his “Wager Major” (which is better than Duke Duke, Screen Queen, Pass Brass or....Puck Schmuck [which woulda’ been his appointed position had Sarah Palin made the West Wing roster last November!]). Perhaps among the president’s more significant achievements since unloading the Ryder truck at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue was the revision of the inscription on Statue of Liberty to read “Give me your poor, your tired, your huddles and your passes” and the renaming of the presidential plane (to which the former hoopster referred as his “spiffy ride”) to “Air Force ...and One!” (Editor’s note: That’s for you, Brendan!), which got a few more votes from Congress for “having a better ring to it” than Republican Senator John McCain’s suggestion of “Air Force One-and-Done”!
Following an off-season spent achieving the high-score on Guitar Hero: Vienna Boys Choir Tour while following the weekly drama on “Real Housewives of Ann Arbor”, Vindicator takes the field with his 2009 Preseason Forecasting Strategy Team of... Bernie Madoff, Paul Blart-Mall Cop, A-Rod’s cousin, Obama’s aunt, Susan Boyle, Capt. Richard Phillips, “me..Minnesota Senator Al Franken”, “Sully” Sullenberger, Carrie Prejean, Capital One’s “Spaghetti Jimmy”, “me...Al Franken”, Mr. Irrelevant 2009...kicker Ryan Succop, Smilin’ Bob from Enzyte.Com, Spirit the live hawk mascot of Atlanta’s NBA squad , Kentucky Derby winner Mine That Bird, Kate Gosselin, Lady Gaga and “me...Al Franken”...to throwdown, Bobby Flay-style, against the college pigskin lines-making pantheon with....
THE WEBER KID’S 2009 WEEK 1 FORECAST
(AKA “Vindy Doin’ Work”...a Spike Lee joint!)
THURS. SEPT. 3
#16 Oregon over #14 BOISE STATE taking 5: Ducks count their starting backfield among the 10 total returnees from last season’s squad. The offense shouldn’t suffer much with former Mallards OC Chip Kelly taking over the head coaching spot. Boise has three spread wins in last five tries vs. ranked teams, including last year’s straight-up victory in Eugene over then-#17 Oregon...Decoys 33 BSU 30
Utah State over #19 UTAH taking 20 1/2: Uh-oh! Not one, but TWO Thursday-nighters to open the year on the coattails of last season’s 4-9 Thursday night forecast record (before Vindy turned in a near-miraculous 5-1 post-season record for that day of the week!). Aggies enter the season on a 4-0-1 ATS run and return 17 starters from last year. Utes are rebuilding the offense and have no QBs who’ve taken a live-fire snap, but bring back a truck-load of experience and have covered 5 of last 7 versus their in-state brethren. State’s gone 14-8-2 against the line the past two seasons and despite a new coach, we think it’s now or never to post another spread win in last shot before these two hook-up again in the 2013 season....Utes 34 State 17
SAT. SEPT. 5
Charleston Southern @ #1 FLORIDA: No line.
#2 TEXAS over Louisiana-Monroe giving 40 ½: The return of QB Colt McCoy, 50 lettermen coming back, a road schedule whose only challenge appears to be Halloween’s trek to Oklahoma State and last season’s diss over the Big 12 Championship game will likely put the Steers on a National Championship mission. Unless Troy is ranked the same week of the aforementioned game in Stillwater (or UL-Monroe shows up in the Best Bets column), this will be the only appearance in the forecast this season for the Warhawks, who are 5-5 ATS in last ten-spot vs. BCS conference clubs...Texas 52 Weeziana-Monroe 6
#20 Brigham Young over #3 Oklahoma (@ Arlington, TX) taking 21 ½: While the spread wins have fallen each of the last 3 seasons for BYU, who also hasn’t fared well getting more than a TD against non-MWC clubs and who only returns four to the offense, the Sooners only bring back five to the O (though some local Vegas kid named Murray should be back from injury...and then there’s that guy named Bradford at QB!). Coogs just 1-4-1 vs. other ranked squads under Coach Mendenhall, but we like the three touchdowns...Okie-Dokie 34 Not a BCS Buster (This Week) 24
#4 USC over San Jose State giving 34: No faith in this pick. Southern Cal has big game at Ohio State next week and Spartans covered last year at Nebraska as 27-point doggie. Trojans good, but not great 4-2 ATS in last half-dozen openers. They did, however crush Virginia last year right before the Buckeyes game and have missed just a lone cover in last eleven non-conference match-ups. We’re not usually in favor of the Trojans (and not a big fan of the SoCal football team either) and the Romans will start an opener with a true frosh at triggerman for the first time since Germany and Japan lost to the upstart American squad in the early 1940's. We did more waffles on this than IHOP and left it up to the hard currency. And da’ coin likes...USC 38 SJSU 0
#5 Alabama over #7 Virginia Tech (@ Atlanta) giving 6 1/2 : Probable early National Title elimination game, more for Tech than for Tide. A ton of trends support the Hokies here, but we figure ‘Bama is anxious to erase the sting of back-to-back losses (SU and ATS) in the SEC title game and the bowl vs. Utah. If this one was a Thursday-nighter, we’d side with Tech , but we like the fact Tide increased its points-scored by 3 ppg and decreased points-against by (GASP!) 8 ppg in Saban’s second year. Best call might be “under” the total (39). It’s defense and special teams winning the day for...Alabammy 19 Va. Tech 11
Navy over #6 OHIO STATE taking 22 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Sailors have lost by more than 22 only four times in the last five years. Electric sophomore Buckeyes quarterback Terrelle Pryor is getting a lotta’ love, but doesn’t have a lot of returning offensive starters around him. As noted previously in USC-SJSU breakdown, State may look ahead to hosting the Troy Boys next week and may not wanna’ tip too much of the gameplan. Expect well-disciplined Middies to grind it out with nationally-ranked rushing game and to avoid costly turnovers that would give the Buckeyes extra tries to blow it open...OSU 27 Ensigns 12
Akron over #9 (tie) PENN STATE taking 27 ½: While Akron might be a better pick a couple weeks from now when hosting Indiana (3-2 ATS last 5 vs. the Big Tent Peg Conference), and Zips are 0-3 SU/ATS against the Nifty Lions, they just missed the cover by a half-point in their last last opportunity (2006). Lions have just nine starters back, including none in the secondary...an ongoing sore point. Zips have experience at QB and WR. They also covered at Wisconsin last year getting 27 and in ‘07 at Ohio State getting 28. We’ll accept a nice three-TD victory from the alma mater...Lions 31 Akron 10
#9 (tie) OKLAHOMA STATE over #13 Georgia giving 6: State is just 3-7-1 ATS over the last two years vs. ranked teams, but a straight-up victory over Joja’ might just send the message we’ve been hopin’ for...that the Cowboys are ready to challenge in the Big 12. Phil Steele noted State hasn’t lost a home opener since (GASP!) 1995 and the Cowpokes would love to avenge a 38-14 drubbing “between the hedges” in 2007. ‘Dawgs lost their starting backfield to the NFL in April. “Under” the total (62) wouldn’t be a bad option...OKSU 38 Joja’ 24
#11 Louisiana State over WASHINGTON giving 17: This one got serious “lock” consideration. Huskies have beaten the number just once in six season debuts. The good news for the Sled Dogs? Quarterback Jake Locker returns from last season’s injury, sustained just four games into last season. The bad news? UDUB only covered one of those first four tilts, en route to a 2008 FBS-worst spread record of 1-11. That will change this year, but not against LSU squad that demolished a mighty-fine-otherwise Joja’ Teck team in the bowl. Bengals spend this Saturday doin’ laundry...LSU 38 Wash, Dry and....Fold 13
#12 CAL over Maryland giving 21 1/2: We looked at this for lock too. Ralph Friedgen reportedly dropped 105 pounds during the off-season. Did da’ Fridge revoke the Terps’ fourth-string punter’s scholarship or what????!!! (In all seriousness, we tip our helmet to Coach Friedgen for his Herculean effort and wish him a continued, healthy life!). Bears get a little payback after giving up five sacks en route to last season’s 35-27 loss in College Park. Terps haven’t covered an opener since 2001. Despite an offensive yardage production that’s gone up each of the past two years, we expect that spread trend to carry on...Berkeley 42 Box Turtles 9
Jacksonville State @ #15 GEORGIA TECH: No line.
#17 TCU: IDLE (next @ Virginia 9/12)
Citadel @ #21 NORTH CAROLINA: No line.
Northern Iowa @ #22 IOWA: No line.
Nevada-Reno over #23 NOTRE DAME taking 14: This Spring, Catholic faithful protested Obama’s invite to speak at Notre Dame’s commencement in light of his views on abortion and stem-cell research. We think they’re just upset because the Commander-in-Chief called for another 7-6 year for the Frightenin Irish football team! Meanwhile, former ND skipper Lou Holtz has predicted a title game berth for the Leprechauns. Hmmm...this would make one helluva’ upset, don’tcha think??? And if the game was being played closer to the Moonlight Bunny Ranch than to Touchdown Jesus, we’d call UNR straight-up, but it’s not, so we’ll just go with ...Wake Up the Geckos 34 Reno 27
#24 NEBRASKA over Florida Atlantic giving 21 ½: Just lay the lumber with the Big 12 North contender because the math ain’t pretty for da’ Owls...one cover in a dozen tries getting double-digits in non-conference tilts, just three back on defense, 1-4 ATS in the last 5 vs. ranked teams, 4-11-1 ATS slide as a road dog and 0-5 SU/ATS against the Big 12 the last 4 seasons...losing by better than 36 ppg....Children of the Corn 37 Hooters 7
Northern Colorado @ #25 KANSAS: No line.
SUN. SEPT. 6
MEMPHIS over #8 Mississippi taking 17: We appreciate what Ole Miss accomplished last season, especially that outright upset of Vin’s arch-nemesis Texas Tech in the bowl game, but the Rebels were probably fortunate in a few of their 2008 victories and we think a Top Ten spot might be a tad generous. Nonetheless, we’d take much joy in seeing a Magnolia State rep continue to prosper. Elsewhere, the last time the Tigers had this few starting returnees (11 in 2005), they went 7-5 SU and 6-5 against the line. Until last year’s 17-point defeat (one of only two losses by a TD or more), Memphis had beaten Mississippi SU or lost by no more than 4 in the previous five meetings since the start of the 2003 campaign....Ole Miss 34 Memphis 20
MON. SEPT. 7
#18 FLORIDA STATE over Miami giving 5 ½: While Vindicator would obviously love to see Joe Paterno edge Injuns’ head coach Bobby Bowden for most all-time victories, vacation of 14 Semimoles’ wins in the wake of academic scandal (involving a music history test) ain’t the way we wanted to see it go down. Gotta’ wonder if that hit will fire-up State to beat the ‘Canes by more than 3 for the first time since 1999. Miami lost a 41-39 shootout last year. New coordinators on each side of the ball keeps us from taking the Pelicans and da’ points. No change in the FSU deficit this week as PSU and FSU post SU wins...Da’ Chop 20 Tropical Depressions 13
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, longest-shot-in-the-field Mine That Bird’s original moniker was Mime That Bird, but jockey Calvin Borel was embarrassed to wear the beret, face paint and striped shirt, and never did quite get da’ hang of pretending to spur his steed with the imaginary riding crop!
On the big screen this summer...The Nittany Lions head coach recovers from injury and returns to patrol the Penn State sideline, sporting camouflage and Kevlar body armor while armed to the teeth with more high-tech military weapons than you can shake a stick at...in...”G.I. JoePa: Rise of Da’ Coordinator”!!!
Sampling the aforementioned FSU music history exam, we find the following questions: #12 Disco Duck and Convoy were popular in which decade? a) 1860's b) 1920's c) 1970's d) 2050's? #54 Eight-Mile was a biography about what rapper? a) Eminem b) M Night Shyamalan, c) S&M d) Auntie Em. #101 The movie “The Jazz Singer” featured what 1920's entertainer? a) Weird Al Yankovic, b) Albert Pujols, c) Al Jolson, d) Alvin & the Chipmunks, e) Fat Albert. #139 Fill in the blank....“1985" was a song by Bowling for Soup based on what year? #160 Fill in the blank...”Who let the _______ out?!” a) hem b) air c) snakes d) dogs.
As we noted this time last season, in all but one season from 1993 to 2008, at least two teams unranked in the Associated Press preseason Top 25 poll eventually finished in the AP Top 10 that same season Utah and fellow Mountain Best squad TCU [which was nowhere on the AP preseason radar] managed that feat last year. Your mission...should you choose to accept it...is to figure out who the 2009 season interlopers will be. Our guess?...Two of three from Pitt, Rutgers or NC State (watch da’ Wolfpack at least on a ATS basis!).
Obama admitted to sporting “frumpy” jeans while throwing out the ceremonial first pitch of July’s All-Star game. Looked more like he was ready for an NBA shoot-around session! At least his Michael Jordan Hanes weren’t showing! The Commander-in-Chief launched a sweeping, lolly-pop curve ball right down the middle. Democrats worried it showed him as “too moderate”, but Republicans saw it as “too far to the left”!
Jon and Kate Plus Eight???!!! Damn!....Vindicator only got them with 7 1/2!!!!!!
Shoppe Talk: Will Texas Tech, who showed up only twice on the predicted side of the spread in eleven forecast opportunities (the second win coming in this past January’s Cotton Bowl!), continue to be the bane of the Weber Kid’s existence or will another contender rise up to torment our hero???!!!
Vindy’s Week 1 Best Bets: Last Year: 42-25-1 (.627) Last Week: 0-0 Season: 0-0 (.000)
NC STATE -4 over South Carolina, Rice +5 1/2 over ALABAMA-BIRMINGHAM, Middle Tennessee State +19 1/2 over CLEMSON, Connecticut -4 over OHIO
Vindicator came out conservative in this forecast, but don’t touch that dial! Next week...thoughts on Michael Phelps, the NFL, more of the off-season silliness and a new football-themed facility for consumption of “mass quantities” yer not gonna’ wanna’ miss!!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Vindy's 2008-09 Bowl Recap
BCS TITLE, TROPHY TO DIFFERENT TEAMS
CHAMPAIGN, Illinois (AP)....Florida and Oklahoma slugged it out on the field Thursday night to win the Bowl Championship Series Sears Trophy. The highly-coveted crystal hardware was presented in Miami to the Gators, but the actual title of BCS National Champion, vacated by the 2007 Bengals of Weeziana State, now belongs to the Fightin’ Illini, who bought the title from embattled Illinois governor Rod Blagovedich by outbidding other teams. UI alumni rallied to the cause under the battle-cry, “Buy One for the Zooker!”, referring to Illini head coach Ron Zook. Reporters pulled records from the governor’s office, suggesting teams in the monetary running for the pinnacle of Division I-A football included Idaho, Wazzou, and Syracuse. The politician, already in hot water for trying to sell President-Elect Obama’s former Senate chair, continues to proclaim his innocence in the matter, but examination of the expletive-laden FBI wiretaps being used as evidence also links him to the 1980 Olympics “Miracle on Ice”, the 1919 Black Sox scandal, the Pilgrims purchase of Manhattan (who outbid the Japanese by a couple of trinkets!) and the Academy Award for 1994 Best Picture to Forrest Gump (Editorial note: Oh sure....Tom Hanks’ brief role as a touchdown-scoring member of the Alabama Crimson Tide, on its own artistic merit, wins out over Sean Astin’s movie-long sacrifices to go down in history as a player for the Notre Dame Frightenin’ Irish in Rudy???!!!)
Your Hooville Holiday Cheer-Meister went 1-9 to open the 2007 season’s bowl fare, but his opening 2-1 tally through the first trio of the 2008 post-season was just a tease as NORAD (which passed on Santa’s flight this year due to budget concerns) had Vindy at a mere 2-5 by the time he finished unwrapping his highly-coveted Bakugan Battle Brawlers on Christmas morning. In fact, the prognosticator’s progress was handed off to the NYC Subway authorities with his record headed toward an early 3-8-1 slide. But the On-Star system installed in his forecast was notified immediately when the driver’s-side air-bag deployed...automatically-sending emergency crews to the crash site at the Independence Bowl on December 28 when Vin’s usually-dependable “lock” pick Northern Illinois went south (courtesy of three turnovers vs. Weeziana Tech [though the Weber Kid acknowledges some nifty defensive plays by the Bulldogs]). A push by Cal and back-to-back-to-back dog covers by NC State, Northwestern and Maryland (and a best bet win and cover by Rice) were followed by an 0-fer New Year’s Eve (0-4) hit to the codpiece (no, that ain’t a fish dish!). Needing to hit 9 of the final 12 to finish at .500, the Weber Kid girded his loins (All hail the Kevlar athletic supporter!) and got 2009 off to a blazing 7-1, losing the Orange Bowl (In retrospect, Vin forgot to take into account the Hokies 15-4 straight-up Thursday night run). Consecutive losses for the International and Fiesta Bowls left our haggard hero needing both the GMAC and the BCS Title game to break even. Tulsa trampled Ball State to give Vindy hope and the fab forecaster finally reached a very coin-toss-worthy 16-16-2 after Florida clamped down on the Sooners, following a shaky first-half.
Fine...a topless president-elect strutting his ripped torso on the island of Oahu gets global media coverage. Your prestigious prognosticator recently doffed his pre-printed silk-screened muscle tee, flaunting his six-keg abs in Sin City.... and got nothin’ more than a sign reading, “No shirt, no shoes, no service!”. But wait until the wire services get a load of...
THE WEBER KID’S 2008-09 BOWL RECAP
(It’s how wise guys do fancy!)
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
TripAdvisor.com notes several...uh...unusual (or at least little-known)...New Year’s Eve droppings, including a 25-pound faux Peep (constructed from fiberglass) in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and a cheese-wedge in Plymouth, Wisconsin. Not to be outdone, Vegas rang-in 2009 by dropping a 195-lb., former sportsbook employee who was caught skimming profits....did we mention he was lowered from the top of the Stratosphere into a bucket of cement, which was then transported to Boulder City and unceremoniously pushed off the Hoover Dam into Lake Mead??? Casino officials simply told the cheat he was helping test-out a new thrill-ride! Also just minutes before midnight on New Year’s Eve, 1000 balloons bearing the words “Joy” and “Hope” were released from rooftops near Times Square. Meanwhile, farther north, Orange fans at the Carrier Dome launched hundreds of balloons inscribed with “Syracuse 24, Notre Dame 23"!!!
After Vindicator told a department-store Santa he wanted a Red Ryder BB-Gun for Christmas, the faux Claus responded, “You’ll shoot your I-formation out, Kid.”
If you’re scoring at home, the Big Tent-Peg Conference went 1-6 SU/3-4 ATS this bowl season, losing by better than two touchdowns per tilt. That post-season pointlessness was second only behind the Mid-American Conference, which went 0-5 SU, 0-5 ATS and lost by an average margin of nearly 17 points per game!
We’d just like to share a Frank Zappa quote we found in an article listing the top 99brewskis on the planet in the January 2009 ish of MAXIM magazine...”You can’t be a country unless you have a beer and an airline-it helps if you have some kind of football team....”. BTW, for our readers living in or with ties to the Keystone State...Juengling Traditional Lager made that distinguished list and Vindicator is no stranger to said beverage!
Congrats to the Penn State Lady Lions, who recently reeled in the 2008 women’s volleyball national championship over 14-time contender Stanford in December. And a very late round of applause to the Lions’ men’s squad for toppling Pepperdine to take the V-ball title last February! Vindy tips his helmet to his grad school alma mater, Richmond, for taking this season’s Football Championship Subdivision national title!
Recently rebuking Joe Biden’s criticism about President Bush’s alleged requirement to get permission to initiate nuclear strikes, Dick Cheney noted the president is never without a military aide who carries the nuclear gadget, known as the “football”, that permits those attacks. Nice...not only does the Commander-in-Chief get a personal protector, said individual also totes the rock! In fact, the outgoing leader of the free world was seated so close to the field during the recent Colts game, the voice-activated device picked up signals from the Colts huddle and half-a-dozen long-range nukes went into ready-to-launch status. Fortunately, the QB on the field was Peyton Manning, who after stepping to the line of scrimmage and quickly surveying the defense, rattled off a long series of audibles, leading silo crews targeting Vancouver, Puerto Rico and BCS Headquarters in Indianapolis to then stand-down, averting a couple of international incidents.
David Hasselhoff sang national anthem at Las Vegas Bowl. After being panned by his fellow “America’s Got Talent” judges, the Hoff will be replaced next year by KITT. The Village People played at halftime of the Sun Bowl leading fans to croon “Y-M-I-Here?” during the Oregon State-Pitt 3-0 snoozer. In related news, Dirk Nowitzki of the NBA’s Dallas Stars admitted he hummed Hasselhoff’s “Looking For Freedom” while de-stressing himself at the foul line. Vindy’s been known to reduce those pressure-packed moments in the sportsbook by humming “19th Nervous Breakdown” by the Rolling Stones, “Thriller” by Michael Jackson , “Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer, “Like A Surgeon” by Weird Al Yankovic, or the Spongebob Squarepants theme song!
Shaquille O’Neal is closing in on 5,000 bricks from the charity stripe. Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z! When Shaq gets within grenade-range of 5K worth of forecast losses, let us know!
Speaking of bricks...a New Year’s Day college hoops game saw Texas Tech head coach Pat Knight pull a 12-year-old from the stands into his team’s huddle during a time-out vs. Stephen F. Austin. Seems coach wasn’t happy with his squad’s inability to hit lay-ups and used the youngster to make a point. Funny, that same day, Red Raiders coach Mike Leach snagged a 10-year-old from the arcade of a Vegas casino to show Vindy how easy it was to pick games against the spread after the fumbling forecaster went winless the night before. It worked, but the precocious little !@^%#$!! also hit all 12 of the 2009 bowls!
A few thoughts on some of the 2008 bowl swag given to participating players... the Meineke Car Care folks offered a “racing-themed” baseball hat. Why not a CD featuring soundtracks from Days of Thunder, Chariots of Fire or the Wacky Races??!! While a replica or life-size Bell Helicopter, Bradley Fighting Vehicle or M1-A1 Main Battle Tank might be a tad extreme for Armed Forces Bowl teams, a ride on one of those babies and the chance to test out the weaponry aboard said vehicles on a target-range (utilizing sub-caliber training rounds, of course!) would provide players with a story they could tell the grandkids! And finally, BCS title game contestants got a Tourneau watch. Not sure who or what Tourneau is, but Vindy would rather have a a Tourette’s watch, which instead of beeping, chiming or chirping, actually breaks into a profanity-laced tirade every hour on the hour!
The economy is so bad, even game shows are making it harder for contestants to win the big bucks. Thus we have 2009's “Are You Smarter Than a 5th-Grade Academic All-American?!” And BTW, “Milk and Cookies with the Mustangs”, SMU’s childhood literacy program, will now be known as “Powdered Milk and Temporary Internet Cookies with the Mustangs!” In fact, next season’s Rose Bowl will be preceded by the “Tournament of Dandelions” parade.
Speaking of which, Vindy has it on good authority that NBC’s “live” broadcast of the Rose Bowl Parade on New Year’s Day was actually produced and pre-recorded three days earlier by the Chinese and that the “floats” were simply digital enhancements inserted into the broadcast footage. In fact, the grand marshal was only a 12-year-old Chinese girl (she “misspoke” to bowl committee officials, telling them she was really 16), who through the magic of television and special effects, was altered to look like Cloris Leachman! Gotta’ hand it to those Chinese “volunteers” who pulled off that whole “high school and college marching band” thing!
The island of Oahu suffered a major electrical blackout just two days after the Frightenin’ Irish beat the Rainbow Warriors to pocket their first bowl win in ten tries. Coincidence? You decide!
Vindicator’s bowl predictions have now gone 149-157-5 (.486) since the start of the ‘97-‘98 post-season extravaganza. This season’s Weber-Friendlies....Joja’ (10-1-1), Florida (11-2) and USC (10-3)...all posted forecast wins, while the Injuns of FSU fell to 6-2. Way back in Week One, Vindy noted at least two teams unranked in the AP preseason poll, in all but one season from 1993 to present, ended up among the Top Ten in that season’s final AP Poll. We predicted two of three from Utah, Michigan State and Nebraska would get there this time. The Utes came in at #2, while the Spartans finished at #24 and the Huskers were outside the rankings when it was all said and done. The Mountain Best did, however, also place TCU in the seven-hole to keep the trend going!
In a follow-up to an earlier reference to the DUI arrest and subsequent Rose Bowl suspension of the Penn State mascot, the police blotter indicated, ” ...the suspect was administered a field sobriety test...and couldn’t walk a straight lion.” (OK, feel free to boo that one!).
Missing out on his 11th straight Pro Bowl opportunity, Redskins LB London Fletcher referred to himself as the “Susan Lucci of the NFL”. Feeling his pain, the Vegas Vindicator considers himself the Jar-Jar Binks of the football forecasting world...written-off as irrelevant and known only for being relegated to comic relief or simply-annoying against the backdrop of the bigger picture!
Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol recently gave birth to a son, whom she named Tripp. Given the family trend of applying monikers starting with the letters “TR”, might a subsequent newborn be called “Tressel” after the Buckeyes head coach?! (BTW, that might also be the Wasilla High School preferred-spelling of the bridge-like structure, over which trains traverse!). Were the parents trippin’ when they named the latest addition to the family?! What about the complex this kid’s gonna’ get when, exposed to hockey in Alaska, some player gets two minutes in ‘da penalty box for... tripping ??!! Is there a Trophy in the family planning?! Maybe a daughter named...Trebuchet...a medieval war siege machine used by Sarah Palin to launch giant snowballs (or moose carcasses) over her home-fence into the yard of her Russian neighbors???!!!
On New Year’s Day, the NHL’s Chicago Blackhawks and Detroit Red Wings played an outdoor hockey game at Wrigley Field. Play was stopped briefly when the puck became lost in the ivy, and after several minutes of conferring between officials, the Blackhawks were awarded a ground-rule double! Did players drawing penalties spend two minutes in the bullpen? Was the opening puck dropped at the pitcher’s mound???!!!
Reason #47 in favor of a Division I-A college football playoff: NFL?...”Win or go home”. NCAA Bowl Games? Win and go home...then wait for the voters!!!!
After much deliberation, the Arena Football League decided not to suspend its 2009 season. It will however suspend all former Florida State players among its ranks for the first three games just on general principle!
Earlier this month, Terrell Owens attended the sleep-over party at the Palms here in Las Vegas. The whiny receiver was later overheard complaining about his lack of involvement in his team’s pillow-fight!
LEFTOVER HASH (Stuff that was available but didn’t find its way into the forecast earlier this season)
NFL owners considered banning hair that hangs below the name on the back of the jersey. Players can stuff their manes up under their helmets. Apparently, it’s being called...the “tuck rule”!
With a number of budget-strapped states now considering alternative avenues of income, we revisit a January 2008 ish of Gaming Today, which quoted Senate president Richard J. Codey as saying “I think Appalachian State would have to beat the (New York) Giants before the federal government would allow New Jersey to permit sports betting in casinos”. Beat the Giants? No. Beat the Jets? Maybe. Would knocking off the Raiders or Lions be acceptable??!!!
This past summer, the Las Vegas Hilton was taking wagers on an Irish hurling match (Tipperary vs. Waterford). Vindy remembers doing his share of hurling in his college days in Happy Valley, but has no recollection of making it a competitive team sport! So upon what criteria is said behavior scored????!!!... Distance... color...degree of difficulty...artistic interpretation??! We foresee yet-another reality show...Hurling With the Stars....judged by...Will Farrell, Jack Black and Lindsey Lohan!!!
Favorite lyrics from Z-Z Top for a sports gambler who’s hit five of his/her first six ties-win parlay card picks with one to go...”Lord, take me downtown. I’m just lookin’ for some push!”
With the UNLV basketball team on a six-game exhibition tour of Australia last summer, the Sutherland Sharks promoted their game on the team website, noting... “UNLV reached the final 16 of the NCAA championships and were knocked out by the eventual winners Kansas State University. This should be a big game.” The Rebels, of course, lost to actual title-holders, the Kansas Jayhawks, but the K-State Wildcats are still national champs down under until proven otherwise!
Also last June, a New York-Pennsylvania League baseball game between Staten Island and Brooklyn featured an ambidextrous pitcher and a switch-hitting batter. The hurler and hitter switched sides repeatedly for several minutes before umpires ended the shenanigans. Vindy tried to engage a ticket-writer in a similar conflict, but the bookie didn’t see the humor in it and simply had security remove the ominous oracle!
The NBA’s newest Senior VP of Referee Operations is former Army Major General Ronald L. Johnson, who was the Commanding General of the Army Corps of Engineers, Gulf Region Division in 2003 and 2004. Well, we’ll know who to call upon if there’s ever a need to clear a path through a half-court minefield, rebuild some blown-up backboards or set up a pontoon bridge between the two sidelines!
Coming Spring 2009....the first U.S. Coin stamped in Braille. The front of the silver dollar commemorating the 200th anniversary of Louis Braille’s birth will feature the blind alphabet’s creator with the word “liberty”. On the “tails” side will be a schoolboy reading a Braille book, with a bookshelf behind him bearing the Braille equivalent of “Take the Trojans over 9 ½ wins!”
In May, five college students were charged with attempting to steal a baby alligator from a mini golf course in Daytona...but not before taking turns trying to putt the ball through its mouth as it raised and lowered its jaws on the 14th hole!.
Taking a few liberties with the NHL’s Stanley Cup commercial...”I am the third-down sack. I am the touchdown pass. I am the 50-yard field goal. I am the BCS trophy!”
Researchers discovered what could be earliest photo of Helen Keller with her teacher Anne Sullivan. Keller is seen holding a doll, believed to be first word spelled into Keller’s hand. Just days after the picture was taken, Keller would spell Y-A-L-E P-L-U-S-S-E-V-E-N-O-V-E-R-H-A-R-V-A-R-D into Sullivan’s hand.
If a team falls in a bowl game broadcast on Versus, does it make a sound?
A February “Leftovers” column in the Las Vegas Review-Journal compared Tony Romo’s going from Carrie Underwood to Sophia Bush to Jessica Simpson and denying reports he’s moved on to a new girlfriend as “a veteran quarterback going through his checkdown progression”. Might his remaining “release valves” be Britney Spears, Hayden Panettiere, Hannah Montana or the Olson Twins???!!
ESPN: Da’ Mag, citing a December 2007 divorce petition, noted that among Shaq’s monthly expenses was a $3345 telephone bill! Imagine what it would be if he just “phoned it in” each game!!!!!
The Spring ‘08 ish of The Penn Stater magazine recognized sophomore Erin Luley for setting national records in the USA Memory Championship in the Poetry and Names & Faces events. Bill Belichick plans to use the Happy Valley student’s skills on the Patriots sidelines to memorize opponents hand-signals!
April Fools Day conference- Hillary challenges Obama to a bowl-off. Hey...Vindy would love to match post-season picks with the president-elect and his Secretary of State!
UNLV coaches were told $300K needed to be hacked off its athletic department budget. Solutions considered included reducing the number of showerheads in the locker rooms, forcing players to shower together post-game (OK, maybe just the women’s locker room); replacing bobblehead give-away nights with silent auctions of stuff owned by players and coaches; scheduling more away games with Big Six conference teams to get those big paydays in exchange for certain losses; shortening dimensions of Sam Boyd football field to 90 X 40 to lower groundskeeping costs; allowing Vegas gamblers to “invest” some of the budget money each week (on non-UNLV games of course) and changing the team moniker from Runnin’ Rebels to “Rebs” or “Rubles” to save on lettering for uniforms, team logo-wear and printing costs. Of course, winnin’ more than five games might get the fans to show up! How ‘bout adding Notre Dame, Michigan, UDUB and Wazzou to the non-conference schedule???!!!!.
In October, the Truckee Meadows Community College orchestra conductor sued EA Sports for copyright infringement over inclusion of his “Win With The Rebels” music in its video games, to the tune of $150K per unauthorized use. Not to worry for the folks at Electronic Arts since the song will only be heard five times or less per any 12 games played!
“Texas”, a conglomerate of college football players with ties to the Lone Star State, defeated “Nation” (a collection of players from around the rest of the country) 41-14 last February. But thanks to the tie-breaker system and the BCS computers, Nation will go to the conference championship game anyway!
Prior to last year’s Super Bowl, KFC offered to donate $260K to charity in the name of any player who did a chicken dance celebration for at least 3 seconds in the end zone during the Big Game. There were no takers, but Vindy would be happy to embarrass himself doing so in the sportsbook! With all apologies to the folks at Jack-In-The-Box... Vindicator is....your chicken-man!
Last February, Europe’s new science lab, Columbus, was attached to the International Space Station. Nice of the folks at Ohio State to sponsor a European space lab, dontcha’ think?! Maybe Mrs. Palin had something to do with that. We heard she said she could also see The Horseshoe from the front porch of her Alaskan home!
This time last year, White House officials revealed that tapes containing e-mails and electronic documents prior to 2003 were recycled. Kinda’ like all those wedding videos that get taped over with NFL Conference Championship games, huh?!
The Mike Lowell Foundation, named for the Boston Red Sox player, raises big dollars for children with cancer. It also sponsors “Dancin’ with the All-Stars”. Hmmm...we think it’s just a matter of time before the event determines home-field advantage for the World Series!
UCLA hoopster Kevin Love, on facing the Lopez twins of Stanford, said...”It’s like the walking trees from ‘Lord of the Rings’...” No truth to the rumor the Cardinal will change its mascot from a mere redwood to an Ent!
Yankee Alex Rodriguez has been romantically-linked to Madonna. No sign yet though that he’s changed religions to... Kabaseballa!
As reported by ESPN: Da’ Mag, 92 South Korean soccer players dislocated their own shoulders to get out of being drafted into the military. Not only were they drafted, they were signed up for Special Forces!
The Obama camp has been pondering what to do with a $30M campaign surplus....we’re thinkin’ OSPN (Obama and Sports Programming Network) has a nice ring to it! (Come to think of it, so does...the Barack Ten Conference!). Or how ‘bout buyin’ out the Big Ten and PAC-10, then implementing that Football Bowl Subdivision playoff he wants!
A Wolverhampton (England) striker assaulted a nightclub doorman with his girlfriend’s purse. His was a Gucci, while hers was just a cheap knock-off or what??!!! We just want to know if the card shown to the player by the referee following the play was...carmine or saffron!!!
Terrell Owens admitted missing a random drug test, blaming it on a “communication problem involving cell phone numbers.” Vindy’s thoughts?.....”Ya lost me at ‘T.O.’”
Black Shirt: The coveted ebony tee goes to 285-lb Kentucky defensive tackle Ventrell Jenkins, who returned a late fumble 56 yards for the deciding TD vs. ECU, allowing Vindy’s Best Bets to finish 4-0!
“Wish I Had That One Back”: BYU over Arizona...after sarcastically scribing “woo-hoo” as a measure of Coogs enthusiasm for drawing a post-season date in Sin City for the fourth straight time!
“Locked in a Box?”: NIU fell outright to Louisiana Tech as previously noted, dropping the 08-09 lock record to a still-mighty-respectable 13-3 (.812).
Shoppe Talk: The Weber Kid never actually saw the final Ole Miss-Texas Tech score, but the combined absence of “guns up” his...er... um... nostrils...and searing of his retinas upon attempting to view the box score suggests he had the correct side, sending the Raiders forecast tally to 2-9. Flame-Throwers Wisconsin (1-7) and BYU (2-9) continued to thwart Vindicator with losses.
Vindy’s Best Bets: Bowls: 4-0 Season: 42-25-1(.627)
Despite his reasonable amount of success this season, those guys from the Alltel commercial think Vindy’s “still a ding-dong!”
A man named Jim Purol set the world mark for most seats sat in over a 48-hour period with 39,250. After busting the record, Jim sat in the remaining seats at the Rose Bowl for a total of 92,542. In his honor, Vindicator will spend the upcoming off-season sitting in every seat in every sportsbook in Las Vegas!
Until late August, Sportsfans, we leave you with...
Words of wisdom from frequent Gaming Today contributor Sid Diamond: “Never fall in love with a big favorite, as with the underdog you always have two chances to win and with a favorite you only have one.”
And the traditional Irish blessing...”May the road dog rise up to beat you!” (Something like that!)
CHAMPAIGN, Illinois (AP)....Florida and Oklahoma slugged it out on the field Thursday night to win the Bowl Championship Series Sears Trophy. The highly-coveted crystal hardware was presented in Miami to the Gators, but the actual title of BCS National Champion, vacated by the 2007 Bengals of Weeziana State, now belongs to the Fightin’ Illini, who bought the title from embattled Illinois governor Rod Blagovedich by outbidding other teams. UI alumni rallied to the cause under the battle-cry, “Buy One for the Zooker!”, referring to Illini head coach Ron Zook. Reporters pulled records from the governor’s office, suggesting teams in the monetary running for the pinnacle of Division I-A football included Idaho, Wazzou, and Syracuse. The politician, already in hot water for trying to sell President-Elect Obama’s former Senate chair, continues to proclaim his innocence in the matter, but examination of the expletive-laden FBI wiretaps being used as evidence also links him to the 1980 Olympics “Miracle on Ice”, the 1919 Black Sox scandal, the Pilgrims purchase of Manhattan (who outbid the Japanese by a couple of trinkets!) and the Academy Award for 1994 Best Picture to Forrest Gump (Editorial note: Oh sure....Tom Hanks’ brief role as a touchdown-scoring member of the Alabama Crimson Tide, on its own artistic merit, wins out over Sean Astin’s movie-long sacrifices to go down in history as a player for the Notre Dame Frightenin’ Irish in Rudy???!!!)
Your Hooville Holiday Cheer-Meister went 1-9 to open the 2007 season’s bowl fare, but his opening 2-1 tally through the first trio of the 2008 post-season was just a tease as NORAD (which passed on Santa’s flight this year due to budget concerns) had Vindy at a mere 2-5 by the time he finished unwrapping his highly-coveted Bakugan Battle Brawlers on Christmas morning. In fact, the prognosticator’s progress was handed off to the NYC Subway authorities with his record headed toward an early 3-8-1 slide. But the On-Star system installed in his forecast was notified immediately when the driver’s-side air-bag deployed...automatically-sending emergency crews to the crash site at the Independence Bowl on December 28 when Vin’s usually-dependable “lock” pick Northern Illinois went south (courtesy of three turnovers vs. Weeziana Tech [though the Weber Kid acknowledges some nifty defensive plays by the Bulldogs]). A push by Cal and back-to-back-to-back dog covers by NC State, Northwestern and Maryland (and a best bet win and cover by Rice) were followed by an 0-fer New Year’s Eve (0-4) hit to the codpiece (no, that ain’t a fish dish!). Needing to hit 9 of the final 12 to finish at .500, the Weber Kid girded his loins (All hail the Kevlar athletic supporter!) and got 2009 off to a blazing 7-1, losing the Orange Bowl (In retrospect, Vin forgot to take into account the Hokies 15-4 straight-up Thursday night run). Consecutive losses for the International and Fiesta Bowls left our haggard hero needing both the GMAC and the BCS Title game to break even. Tulsa trampled Ball State to give Vindy hope and the fab forecaster finally reached a very coin-toss-worthy 16-16-2 after Florida clamped down on the Sooners, following a shaky first-half.
Fine...a topless president-elect strutting his ripped torso on the island of Oahu gets global media coverage. Your prestigious prognosticator recently doffed his pre-printed silk-screened muscle tee, flaunting his six-keg abs in Sin City.... and got nothin’ more than a sign reading, “No shirt, no shoes, no service!”. But wait until the wire services get a load of...
THE WEBER KID’S 2008-09 BOWL RECAP
(It’s how wise guys do fancy!)
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
TripAdvisor.com notes several...uh...unusual (or at least little-known)...New Year’s Eve droppings, including a 25-pound faux Peep (constructed from fiberglass) in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and a cheese-wedge in Plymouth, Wisconsin. Not to be outdone, Vegas rang-in 2009 by dropping a 195-lb., former sportsbook employee who was caught skimming profits....did we mention he was lowered from the top of the Stratosphere into a bucket of cement, which was then transported to Boulder City and unceremoniously pushed off the Hoover Dam into Lake Mead??? Casino officials simply told the cheat he was helping test-out a new thrill-ride! Also just minutes before midnight on New Year’s Eve, 1000 balloons bearing the words “Joy” and “Hope” were released from rooftops near Times Square. Meanwhile, farther north, Orange fans at the Carrier Dome launched hundreds of balloons inscribed with “Syracuse 24, Notre Dame 23"!!!
After Vindicator told a department-store Santa he wanted a Red Ryder BB-Gun for Christmas, the faux Claus responded, “You’ll shoot your I-formation out, Kid.”
If you’re scoring at home, the Big Tent-Peg Conference went 1-6 SU/3-4 ATS this bowl season, losing by better than two touchdowns per tilt. That post-season pointlessness was second only behind the Mid-American Conference, which went 0-5 SU, 0-5 ATS and lost by an average margin of nearly 17 points per game!
We’d just like to share a Frank Zappa quote we found in an article listing the top 99brewskis on the planet in the January 2009 ish of MAXIM magazine...”You can’t be a country unless you have a beer and an airline-it helps if you have some kind of football team....”. BTW, for our readers living in or with ties to the Keystone State...Juengling Traditional Lager made that distinguished list and Vindicator is no stranger to said beverage!
Congrats to the Penn State Lady Lions, who recently reeled in the 2008 women’s volleyball national championship over 14-time contender Stanford in December. And a very late round of applause to the Lions’ men’s squad for toppling Pepperdine to take the V-ball title last February! Vindy tips his helmet to his grad school alma mater, Richmond, for taking this season’s Football Championship Subdivision national title!
Recently rebuking Joe Biden’s criticism about President Bush’s alleged requirement to get permission to initiate nuclear strikes, Dick Cheney noted the president is never without a military aide who carries the nuclear gadget, known as the “football”, that permits those attacks. Nice...not only does the Commander-in-Chief get a personal protector, said individual also totes the rock! In fact, the outgoing leader of the free world was seated so close to the field during the recent Colts game, the voice-activated device picked up signals from the Colts huddle and half-a-dozen long-range nukes went into ready-to-launch status. Fortunately, the QB on the field was Peyton Manning, who after stepping to the line of scrimmage and quickly surveying the defense, rattled off a long series of audibles, leading silo crews targeting Vancouver, Puerto Rico and BCS Headquarters in Indianapolis to then stand-down, averting a couple of international incidents.
David Hasselhoff sang national anthem at Las Vegas Bowl. After being panned by his fellow “America’s Got Talent” judges, the Hoff will be replaced next year by KITT. The Village People played at halftime of the Sun Bowl leading fans to croon “Y-M-I-Here?” during the Oregon State-Pitt 3-0 snoozer. In related news, Dirk Nowitzki of the NBA’s Dallas Stars admitted he hummed Hasselhoff’s “Looking For Freedom” while de-stressing himself at the foul line. Vindy’s been known to reduce those pressure-packed moments in the sportsbook by humming “19th Nervous Breakdown” by the Rolling Stones, “Thriller” by Michael Jackson , “Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer, “Like A Surgeon” by Weird Al Yankovic, or the Spongebob Squarepants theme song!
Shaquille O’Neal is closing in on 5,000 bricks from the charity stripe. Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z! When Shaq gets within grenade-range of 5K worth of forecast losses, let us know!
Speaking of bricks...a New Year’s Day college hoops game saw Texas Tech head coach Pat Knight pull a 12-year-old from the stands into his team’s huddle during a time-out vs. Stephen F. Austin. Seems coach wasn’t happy with his squad’s inability to hit lay-ups and used the youngster to make a point. Funny, that same day, Red Raiders coach Mike Leach snagged a 10-year-old from the arcade of a Vegas casino to show Vindy how easy it was to pick games against the spread after the fumbling forecaster went winless the night before. It worked, but the precocious little !@^%#$!! also hit all 12 of the 2009 bowls!
A few thoughts on some of the 2008 bowl swag given to participating players... the Meineke Car Care folks offered a “racing-themed” baseball hat. Why not a CD featuring soundtracks from Days of Thunder, Chariots of Fire or the Wacky Races??!! While a replica or life-size Bell Helicopter, Bradley Fighting Vehicle or M1-A1 Main Battle Tank might be a tad extreme for Armed Forces Bowl teams, a ride on one of those babies and the chance to test out the weaponry aboard said vehicles on a target-range (utilizing sub-caliber training rounds, of course!) would provide players with a story they could tell the grandkids! And finally, BCS title game contestants got a Tourneau watch. Not sure who or what Tourneau is, but Vindy would rather have a a Tourette’s watch, which instead of beeping, chiming or chirping, actually breaks into a profanity-laced tirade every hour on the hour!
The economy is so bad, even game shows are making it harder for contestants to win the big bucks. Thus we have 2009's “Are You Smarter Than a 5th-Grade Academic All-American?!” And BTW, “Milk and Cookies with the Mustangs”, SMU’s childhood literacy program, will now be known as “Powdered Milk and Temporary Internet Cookies with the Mustangs!” In fact, next season’s Rose Bowl will be preceded by the “Tournament of Dandelions” parade.
Speaking of which, Vindy has it on good authority that NBC’s “live” broadcast of the Rose Bowl Parade on New Year’s Day was actually produced and pre-recorded three days earlier by the Chinese and that the “floats” were simply digital enhancements inserted into the broadcast footage. In fact, the grand marshal was only a 12-year-old Chinese girl (she “misspoke” to bowl committee officials, telling them she was really 16), who through the magic of television and special effects, was altered to look like Cloris Leachman! Gotta’ hand it to those Chinese “volunteers” who pulled off that whole “high school and college marching band” thing!
The island of Oahu suffered a major electrical blackout just two days after the Frightenin’ Irish beat the Rainbow Warriors to pocket their first bowl win in ten tries. Coincidence? You decide!
Vindicator’s bowl predictions have now gone 149-157-5 (.486) since the start of the ‘97-‘98 post-season extravaganza. This season’s Weber-Friendlies....Joja’ (10-1-1), Florida (11-2) and USC (10-3)...all posted forecast wins, while the Injuns of FSU fell to 6-2. Way back in Week One, Vindy noted at least two teams unranked in the AP preseason poll, in all but one season from 1993 to present, ended up among the Top Ten in that season’s final AP Poll. We predicted two of three from Utah, Michigan State and Nebraska would get there this time. The Utes came in at #2, while the Spartans finished at #24 and the Huskers were outside the rankings when it was all said and done. The Mountain Best did, however, also place TCU in the seven-hole to keep the trend going!
In a follow-up to an earlier reference to the DUI arrest and subsequent Rose Bowl suspension of the Penn State mascot, the police blotter indicated, ” ...the suspect was administered a field sobriety test...and couldn’t walk a straight lion.” (OK, feel free to boo that one!).
Missing out on his 11th straight Pro Bowl opportunity, Redskins LB London Fletcher referred to himself as the “Susan Lucci of the NFL”. Feeling his pain, the Vegas Vindicator considers himself the Jar-Jar Binks of the football forecasting world...written-off as irrelevant and known only for being relegated to comic relief or simply-annoying against the backdrop of the bigger picture!
Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol recently gave birth to a son, whom she named Tripp. Given the family trend of applying monikers starting with the letters “TR”, might a subsequent newborn be called “Tressel” after the Buckeyes head coach?! (BTW, that might also be the Wasilla High School preferred-spelling of the bridge-like structure, over which trains traverse!). Were the parents trippin’ when they named the latest addition to the family?! What about the complex this kid’s gonna’ get when, exposed to hockey in Alaska, some player gets two minutes in ‘da penalty box for... tripping ??!! Is there a Trophy in the family planning?! Maybe a daughter named...Trebuchet...a medieval war siege machine used by Sarah Palin to launch giant snowballs (or moose carcasses) over her home-fence into the yard of her Russian neighbors???!!!
On New Year’s Day, the NHL’s Chicago Blackhawks and Detroit Red Wings played an outdoor hockey game at Wrigley Field. Play was stopped briefly when the puck became lost in the ivy, and after several minutes of conferring between officials, the Blackhawks were awarded a ground-rule double! Did players drawing penalties spend two minutes in the bullpen? Was the opening puck dropped at the pitcher’s mound???!!!
Reason #47 in favor of a Division I-A college football playoff: NFL?...”Win or go home”. NCAA Bowl Games? Win and go home...then wait for the voters!!!!
After much deliberation, the Arena Football League decided not to suspend its 2009 season. It will however suspend all former Florida State players among its ranks for the first three games just on general principle!
Earlier this month, Terrell Owens attended the sleep-over party at the Palms here in Las Vegas. The whiny receiver was later overheard complaining about his lack of involvement in his team’s pillow-fight!
LEFTOVER HASH (Stuff that was available but didn’t find its way into the forecast earlier this season)
NFL owners considered banning hair that hangs below the name on the back of the jersey. Players can stuff their manes up under their helmets. Apparently, it’s being called...the “tuck rule”!
With a number of budget-strapped states now considering alternative avenues of income, we revisit a January 2008 ish of Gaming Today, which quoted Senate president Richard J. Codey as saying “I think Appalachian State would have to beat the (New York) Giants before the federal government would allow New Jersey to permit sports betting in casinos”. Beat the Giants? No. Beat the Jets? Maybe. Would knocking off the Raiders or Lions be acceptable??!!!
This past summer, the Las Vegas Hilton was taking wagers on an Irish hurling match (Tipperary vs. Waterford). Vindy remembers doing his share of hurling in his college days in Happy Valley, but has no recollection of making it a competitive team sport! So upon what criteria is said behavior scored????!!!... Distance... color...degree of difficulty...artistic interpretation??! We foresee yet-another reality show...Hurling With the Stars....judged by...Will Farrell, Jack Black and Lindsey Lohan!!!
Favorite lyrics from Z-Z Top for a sports gambler who’s hit five of his/her first six ties-win parlay card picks with one to go...”Lord, take me downtown. I’m just lookin’ for some push!”
With the UNLV basketball team on a six-game exhibition tour of Australia last summer, the Sutherland Sharks promoted their game on the team website, noting... “UNLV reached the final 16 of the NCAA championships and were knocked out by the eventual winners Kansas State University. This should be a big game.” The Rebels, of course, lost to actual title-holders, the Kansas Jayhawks, but the K-State Wildcats are still national champs down under until proven otherwise!
Also last June, a New York-Pennsylvania League baseball game between Staten Island and Brooklyn featured an ambidextrous pitcher and a switch-hitting batter. The hurler and hitter switched sides repeatedly for several minutes before umpires ended the shenanigans. Vindy tried to engage a ticket-writer in a similar conflict, but the bookie didn’t see the humor in it and simply had security remove the ominous oracle!
The NBA’s newest Senior VP of Referee Operations is former Army Major General Ronald L. Johnson, who was the Commanding General of the Army Corps of Engineers, Gulf Region Division in 2003 and 2004. Well, we’ll know who to call upon if there’s ever a need to clear a path through a half-court minefield, rebuild some blown-up backboards or set up a pontoon bridge between the two sidelines!
Coming Spring 2009....the first U.S. Coin stamped in Braille. The front of the silver dollar commemorating the 200th anniversary of Louis Braille’s birth will feature the blind alphabet’s creator with the word “liberty”. On the “tails” side will be a schoolboy reading a Braille book, with a bookshelf behind him bearing the Braille equivalent of “Take the Trojans over 9 ½ wins!”
In May, five college students were charged with attempting to steal a baby alligator from a mini golf course in Daytona...but not before taking turns trying to putt the ball through its mouth as it raised and lowered its jaws on the 14th hole!.
Taking a few liberties with the NHL’s Stanley Cup commercial...”I am the third-down sack. I am the touchdown pass. I am the 50-yard field goal. I am the BCS trophy!”
Researchers discovered what could be earliest photo of Helen Keller with her teacher Anne Sullivan. Keller is seen holding a doll, believed to be first word spelled into Keller’s hand. Just days after the picture was taken, Keller would spell Y-A-L-E P-L-U-S-S-E-V-E-N-O-V-E-R-H-A-R-V-A-R-D into Sullivan’s hand.
If a team falls in a bowl game broadcast on Versus, does it make a sound?
A February “Leftovers” column in the Las Vegas Review-Journal compared Tony Romo’s going from Carrie Underwood to Sophia Bush to Jessica Simpson and denying reports he’s moved on to a new girlfriend as “a veteran quarterback going through his checkdown progression”. Might his remaining “release valves” be Britney Spears, Hayden Panettiere, Hannah Montana or the Olson Twins???!!
ESPN: Da’ Mag, citing a December 2007 divorce petition, noted that among Shaq’s monthly expenses was a $3345 telephone bill! Imagine what it would be if he just “phoned it in” each game!!!!!
The Spring ‘08 ish of The Penn Stater magazine recognized sophomore Erin Luley for setting national records in the USA Memory Championship in the Poetry and Names & Faces events. Bill Belichick plans to use the Happy Valley student’s skills on the Patriots sidelines to memorize opponents hand-signals!
April Fools Day conference- Hillary challenges Obama to a bowl-off. Hey...Vindy would love to match post-season picks with the president-elect and his Secretary of State!
UNLV coaches were told $300K needed to be hacked off its athletic department budget. Solutions considered included reducing the number of showerheads in the locker rooms, forcing players to shower together post-game (OK, maybe just the women’s locker room); replacing bobblehead give-away nights with silent auctions of stuff owned by players and coaches; scheduling more away games with Big Six conference teams to get those big paydays in exchange for certain losses; shortening dimensions of Sam Boyd football field to 90 X 40 to lower groundskeeping costs; allowing Vegas gamblers to “invest” some of the budget money each week (on non-UNLV games of course) and changing the team moniker from Runnin’ Rebels to “Rebs” or “Rubles” to save on lettering for uniforms, team logo-wear and printing costs. Of course, winnin’ more than five games might get the fans to show up! How ‘bout adding Notre Dame, Michigan, UDUB and Wazzou to the non-conference schedule???!!!!.
In October, the Truckee Meadows Community College orchestra conductor sued EA Sports for copyright infringement over inclusion of his “Win With The Rebels” music in its video games, to the tune of $150K per unauthorized use. Not to worry for the folks at Electronic Arts since the song will only be heard five times or less per any 12 games played!
“Texas”, a conglomerate of college football players with ties to the Lone Star State, defeated “Nation” (a collection of players from around the rest of the country) 41-14 last February. But thanks to the tie-breaker system and the BCS computers, Nation will go to the conference championship game anyway!
Prior to last year’s Super Bowl, KFC offered to donate $260K to charity in the name of any player who did a chicken dance celebration for at least 3 seconds in the end zone during the Big Game. There were no takers, but Vindy would be happy to embarrass himself doing so in the sportsbook! With all apologies to the folks at Jack-In-The-Box... Vindicator is....your chicken-man!
Last February, Europe’s new science lab, Columbus, was attached to the International Space Station. Nice of the folks at Ohio State to sponsor a European space lab, dontcha’ think?! Maybe Mrs. Palin had something to do with that. We heard she said she could also see The Horseshoe from the front porch of her Alaskan home!
This time last year, White House officials revealed that tapes containing e-mails and electronic documents prior to 2003 were recycled. Kinda’ like all those wedding videos that get taped over with NFL Conference Championship games, huh?!
The Mike Lowell Foundation, named for the Boston Red Sox player, raises big dollars for children with cancer. It also sponsors “Dancin’ with the All-Stars”. Hmmm...we think it’s just a matter of time before the event determines home-field advantage for the World Series!
UCLA hoopster Kevin Love, on facing the Lopez twins of Stanford, said...”It’s like the walking trees from ‘Lord of the Rings’...” No truth to the rumor the Cardinal will change its mascot from a mere redwood to an Ent!
Yankee Alex Rodriguez has been romantically-linked to Madonna. No sign yet though that he’s changed religions to... Kabaseballa!
As reported by ESPN: Da’ Mag, 92 South Korean soccer players dislocated their own shoulders to get out of being drafted into the military. Not only were they drafted, they were signed up for Special Forces!
The Obama camp has been pondering what to do with a $30M campaign surplus....we’re thinkin’ OSPN (Obama and Sports Programming Network) has a nice ring to it! (Come to think of it, so does...the Barack Ten Conference!). Or how ‘bout buyin’ out the Big Ten and PAC-10, then implementing that Football Bowl Subdivision playoff he wants!
A Wolverhampton (England) striker assaulted a nightclub doorman with his girlfriend’s purse. His was a Gucci, while hers was just a cheap knock-off or what??!!! We just want to know if the card shown to the player by the referee following the play was...carmine or saffron!!!
Terrell Owens admitted missing a random drug test, blaming it on a “communication problem involving cell phone numbers.” Vindy’s thoughts?.....”Ya lost me at ‘T.O.’”
Black Shirt: The coveted ebony tee goes to 285-lb Kentucky defensive tackle Ventrell Jenkins, who returned a late fumble 56 yards for the deciding TD vs. ECU, allowing Vindy’s Best Bets to finish 4-0!
“Wish I Had That One Back”: BYU over Arizona...after sarcastically scribing “woo-hoo” as a measure of Coogs enthusiasm for drawing a post-season date in Sin City for the fourth straight time!
“Locked in a Box?”: NIU fell outright to Louisiana Tech as previously noted, dropping the 08-09 lock record to a still-mighty-respectable 13-3 (.812).
Shoppe Talk: The Weber Kid never actually saw the final Ole Miss-Texas Tech score, but the combined absence of “guns up” his...er... um... nostrils...and searing of his retinas upon attempting to view the box score suggests he had the correct side, sending the Raiders forecast tally to 2-9. Flame-Throwers Wisconsin (1-7) and BYU (2-9) continued to thwart Vindicator with losses.
Vindy’s Best Bets: Bowls: 4-0 Season: 42-25-1(.627)
Despite his reasonable amount of success this season, those guys from the Alltel commercial think Vindy’s “still a ding-dong!”
A man named Jim Purol set the world mark for most seats sat in over a 48-hour period with 39,250. After busting the record, Jim sat in the remaining seats at the Rose Bowl for a total of 92,542. In his honor, Vindicator will spend the upcoming off-season sitting in every seat in every sportsbook in Las Vegas!
Until late August, Sportsfans, we leave you with...
Words of wisdom from frequent Gaming Today contributor Sid Diamond: “Never fall in love with a big favorite, as with the underdog you always have two chances to win and with a favorite you only have one.”
And the traditional Irish blessing...”May the road dog rise up to beat you!” (Something like that!)
Friday, December 19, 2008
Vindy's 2008-09 Bowl Picks- Part Deux
DEC. 28
INDEPENDENCE:
Northern Illinois over Louisiana Tech giving 1 ½ (47): LOCK OF DA’ BOWLS. Rookie NIU head coach Jerry Kill inherited 20 returning starters and took advantage of that to increase the Huskies points-scored by 6 per game (to average of 25), while lowering points-against by nearly two touchdowns per game (to average of 18). NIU did lose 3 of final 4 SU, but against high-powered offenses of Ball State and Central Michigan. Weeziana Tech can score as well, but big points came at the expense of WAC squads New Mexico State, Idaho and Utah State (38 in an outright loss), while putting up just 7 as one of Army’s trio of straight-up victories. Huskies could throw a shutout, but let’s call it...NIU 23 LT 7
DEC. 29
PAPAJOHNS.COM:
NC State over Rutgers taking 7 (53): Best guess for “wish I had it back”. Rutgers was left for dead after an 0-3 SU/ATS start, but covered its final eight games, winning six outright. Lowest rushing yardage totals for University of NJ since 84 ypg in 2004, but Mike Teel has given the Knights a potent air attack. On the other side of the field, Coach O’Brien has ‘Pack returning to the bowls after team went 3-9 just three seasons ago. O’Brien led Boston College to seven straight bowl victories before joining NC State. It’s okay to take a Knight to a gunfight, but we’ll just take the points...Rutgers 24 NCSU 20
ALAMO:
#22 Northwestern taking #25 Missouri taking 13 (66): We like the “over” more than a side here. Wildcats decent defensively, but gave up 45 to Ohio State and 37 to Michigan State. Regular readers know we’ve been lambasting the Tigers “defense” all season. Mizzou crushed Arkansas in a bowl last year following three-TD defeat by Oklahoma in the Big 12 Championship en route to third-straight bowl cover (2-1 SU), but we expect NW to light up the scoreboard enough in first bowl under Coach Pat Fitzgerald (and while we’re making another conservative call, the upset would not shock this prognosticator)...Tigers 44 NW 34
DEC. 30
ROADY’S HUMANITARIAN:
Maryland over Nevada-Reno taking 1 (58): Curious line, except Terps’ adjustment to a new offensive coordinator this year shows in a 4-ppg decrease in points-scored. Still, we like Maryland’s ACC-caliber D over Reno’s wild-and-wooly WAC offense (which has yielded just a 1-2 SU/ATS result in last three bowls)... Box Turtles 31 UNR 28
TEXAS:
Rice over Western Michigan giving 3 (73): This got lock consideration. Virtually a home game for the Owls, who addition to having a pass-heavy offense, also get it done on the ground. Not good news for WMU team that thrives on just outscoring its opponents. Broncos average turnovers per game. Can’t give the Owls a short field. A french Olympic swimmer and Rice fan (don’t ask) was quoted as saying, “The Mid-Americans? We’re gonna’ smash ‘em. That’s what we came here for.”...Owls 52 WMU 38
PACIFIC LIFE HOLIDAY:
#13 Oklahoma State over #15 Oregon giving 3 (76 ½): Second-highest over/under total of all 34 bowls. At first glance, the total appears justified. But a more in-depth look reveals both teams favoring the rush (though Cowpokes have racked nearly as much passing yardage) and a quickly-moving, lower-scoring game. Ducks beat up on weak Pacifist Ten foes, while State went toe-to-toe with the stellar Big 12 South. Mallards lost at home to Boise. Cowboys lost by 4 in Austin. Cowpokes and the “under” gets the vote...OKSU 38 Decoys 31
DEC. 31
BELL HELICOPTER ARMED FORCES:
Air Force over Houston taking 2 ½ (64): Pairing of two squads with completely different philosophies. Cougars live to pass, while the only passing done by the Pilots involves waking past opposing players back to huddle following runs for first-downs! Flyboys won in mid-September 31-28 at Houston. Coogs hung 70 on Tulsa, but are on 0-3 SU/ATS bowl slide...USAF 29 UH-OH 27
BRUT SUN:
#24 Oregon State over #18 Pittsburgh giving 3 (52 ½): Beavers probably deserving of fave role here since they had been on 8-1 ATS run until losing the RB component of the Rodgers brothers before bad loss to Oregon. Panthers took four of final five outright to get here (though we discount wins over Notre Dame and Louisville, props to Pitt for blowout of Connecticut!) And got points in four of ‘em. How weird it would be if Panthers win, Trojans cover vs. Penn State, who belted the Beavers, who tripped up Southern Cal. Pitt’s ast bowl “appearance” was 35-7 loss to Utah in 2004... Beavers 34 Pitt 20
GAYLORD HOTELS MUSIC CITY:
Boston College over Vanderbilt giving 3 ½ (41): Another game we ike to go under the total. While failing tio cover the past two, Eagles have won bowls in each of the last 8 seasons. Admirals opened 5-0 straight up, but struggled mightily to get that bowl-eligibility-securing 6th victory (mid-November at Kentucky) and posted 14 just one time in last eight tilts to stumble into first post-season competition since 1982...BC 19 Vandy 7
INSIGHT:
Minnesota over Kansas taking 10 (57 ½): gO-Fers offense went seriously-dormant in conference play, but the much-improved defense kept Minny in most of its games (55-0 loss to Iowa in season-ender the obvious exception!). As Todd Reesing’s passing goes, so goes Kansas. Fightin’ Mangones drew horrible conference slate this year, facing Oklahoma in Norman, Texas Tech and Texas. Jayhawks recorded seven wins, but vs... Florida International, Weeziana Tech, I-AA Sam Houston State, at Iowa State (barely) and Colorado. Only option here is to grab the grab the ten-spot...Birds 34 Gilded Gerbils 27
CHICK-FIL-A:
#14 Georgia Tech over Louisiana State giving 4 (50): If they didn’t do so before, the Bees players (and their foes) now believe in Coach Johnson’s triple-option! Bengals pretty good stopping the run (106 ypg allowed), but went 2-9 against the number, are on 3-15-2 spread death-spiral and almost lost to Troy as 20-point chalk. State seniors have little to play for. ‘Jackets defeated SEC opponents at both ends of the spectrum... Mississippi State and Georgia... Ramblin’ Wreck 20 Paper Tigers 12
JAN. 1 (“Hey look, Mr. Bill....these are all Thursday games!” “Oh, noooooooooooooooooo.....!”)
OUTBACK:
Iowa over South Carolina giving 3 ½ (43): Smallish line shows some respect for Gamehens squad that lost three of its last five and turns the ball over almost three times a game! By contrast, Hawkeyes won five of its last six to get here. Steve Spurrier better become the “Ol’ Ball-Protection Coach” or his folks are in trouble vs. Iowa club that’s covered three of last four post-season trips (against the likes of Texas, LSU and Florida ...twice!)...Hawkeyes 27 Chicken Nuggets 9
CAPITAL ONE:
#16 Georgia over #19 Michigan State giving 7 ½ (54): What will be the mind-set of the Bulldogs after squandering huge lead in loss to Joja’ Tech? Georgia has been backer-friendly in the bowls, going 7-3 ATS the last 10 years. After hearing how good Hawaii was for a couple weeks last season, Joja’ trashed the ‘Bows. No such hype surrounding State this time, but we like UGA anyway...’Dawgs 38 MSU 19
KONICA MINOLTA GATOR:
Nebraska over Clemson taking 2 ½ (55 ½): Tigers were one of season’s biggest busts (as noted in an earlier forecast, we had a futures wager on Clemson to win it all), but won and covered 3 of last 4. And though Tigers allowed 34 points to ‘Bama and 41 to FSU, no other opponent scored more than 21. Tigers have given points in each of the last three years’ bowls, but won just one and covered none of ‘em! Bo Pelini has returned the Huskers to an eight-win season and coached Big Dread to an OT loss at Texas Tech, but the defense still has issues...Nebraska 31 Clemson 30
ROSE PRESENTED BY CITI:
#5 Southern Cal over #6 Penn State giving 10 (45): Oh, the shame! But the pick is more head than heart. Lions just one bad 4th Quarter defensive series away from a title shot in Miami, yet also just a lone Buckeyes turnover from two losses and being completely outta’ the championship conversation. Just two State foes put up more than teens on the scoreboard (24 each by Illinois and Iowa). SoCal is even better, allowing just two opponents more than 10 (23 to Stanford and 27 in only outright loss at Oregon State) and while it lost four of last 6 ATS, none of those saw a spread this low. Trojans won’t likely get anything going vs. State’s run stoppers, but the Lions’ pass defense, especially on 3rd-and-long, is an exploitable weakness. Big Tent-Peg Conference is on 0-4 SU Rose Bowl skid. Trojans have won and covered 5 of last 6 post-season games, and three of last four tries in Pasadena (convincingly!). While we’ll accept a SoCal spread win or an outright victory by the Lions, a State defeat covering the line is of no consolation to this proud, but skeptical alum...USC 29 PSU 14
FED-EX ORANGE:
#12 Cincinnati over #21 Virginia Tech giving 1 ½ (42): As always, defense is the strength of the Hokies (last five opponents scored in the teens or less and Tech is plus-11 in take-aways). Bearkats need to do better protecting the passer (yielded 30 sacks this season) and the ball itself (minus-5 turnovers). Tech is only 2-5 vs. the number in last 7 bowls (winning two outright), while Cincy has covered just 1 of last 6 post-season tilts. ‘Kats did close the year with five SU victories, have won three straight bowls (though only over Southern Miss, Western Michigan and Marshall) and have revenge factor for 29-13 loss at Virginia Tech in 2006...UC 27 VT 23
JAN. 2
AT&T COTTON:
#20 Mississippi over #8 Texas Tech taking 5 ½ (70 1/2): Yeah, right...like Vindicator has a snowball’s chance of pickin’ the correct side here. The Tarot deck likes Tech, the coin backed Ole Miss 6 outta’ 10. The Magic 8-Ball responded, “You gotta’ be kiddin’ me!” and Auntie Entity’s wheel favored “dismemberment” (but bowl committee members typically look down upon that [though Dick Cheney has recently come out in favor of water-boarding !]). Go! Run! Save yourselves!...Rebels 31 Red Raiders 29
AUTOZONE LIBERTY:
Kentucky over East Carolina taking 2 (42): This one got “lock” votes. We were seriously hopin’ see the Pirates getting about a touchdown because they’ve won their last five games outright when taking 8 ½ or more points (including last season’s bowl win over Boise State getting double-digits). ECU fizzled a bit after opening upsets over Virginia Tech and West Virginia, following that success with a four-point squeaker over Tulane and three straight losses. Pirates didn’t get the booty as chalk this season, going just 2-6-1. Wildcats had some poor moments, but lost at ‘Bama by a FG...Kentucky 24 East Carolina 17
ALL-STATE SUGAR:
#7 Utah over #4 Alabama taking 10 ½ (45): If both defenses dominate they way they can, this will be a close, low-scoring game. Between LSU and his first year at ‘Bama, Nick Saban has gone 4-2 SU/ATS in his last six bowl opportunities, but didn’t lay double-digits in any of ‘em. Key match-up here might be Tide’s rushing game (196.5 ypg) vs. Utes run defense (107.2 ypg allowed). Given that TCU had Utah on the ropes before losing and conspiracy theory noted earlier regarding the BYU game, Utes’ best win of the season mighta’ been 31-28 victory over Oregon State. Senior QB Brian Johnson is a good signal-caller, but Tim Tebow he ain’t. Still, we take Utah as the only BCS bowl doggie we’‘ll back...Tide 23 Utes 17
JAN. 3
INTERNATIONAL:
Buffalo over Connecticut taking 4 (51 1/2): Both teams relatively new to I-A post-season play as UConn enters only its third bowl, while Bulls make their bowl debut. Run-heavy Huskies spanked eventual Big Least champ Cincinnati, but crawl into January having dropped 3 of last 4 games outright (beating only Syracuse). Buffalo prefers the air game and its best shot at a victory might be drawing the Dogs into a shootout. Bulls coach Turner Gill interviewed at Syracuse and Auburn, but just signed one year extension for more moola at Buffalo. That should work in Buffalo’s favor. Bulls fans can save plane fare and just skate across Lake Ontario to the Great White North.... UConn 27 Buffalo 24
JAN. 5
TOSTITOS FIESTA:
#3 Texas over #10 Ohio State giving 9 ½ (53 ½): There’s more pressure on Texas here to prove the BCS folks made the wrong choice sending Oklahoma to the Big 12 championship game. We think Mack Brown will be more than happy to oblige and will run it up given the opportunity. Buckeyes like playing in Glendale, having won the Fiesta Bowls in ‘02, ‘03 and ‘05, but none of those teams compared to this year’s ‘Horns (except maybe Miami’s then-undefeated 2002 squad) and State is pedestrian 4-5 ATS in last 9 post-season trips. UT no bargain either at 4-6 ATS in last ten bowls. Steers covered two of last three, but did not cover a minus-9 vs. Iowa in 2006...Texas 34 Ohio State 23
JAN. 6
GMAC:
Tulsa over #23 Ball State taking 2 ½ (77): Well, one sure-fire way to get detractors off your back for criticizing your decision to decline an offer to play another undefeated team in a bowl game is to get trounced in your conference title by your 15-point underdog opponent and prove yourself not worthy to begin with! Not sure what the Cardinals have left to gain with a victory...the perfect season? Gone? MAC title? Gone. Coach Hoke? Gone... to coach San Diego State???!!!. Golden Hurricane forfeited the C-USA crown via seven (count ‘em, seven!) turnovers vs. ECU. First underdog game for Tulsa since 2007 MAC championship match...Tulsa 38 BSU 34
JAN. 8
BCS NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP:
#1 Florida over #2 Oklahoma giving 3 (72): Gators beat previously-undefeated Crimson Tide without Percy Harvin and minus a couple of defensive players as well. Sooners faced only one other team with a great defense ... TCU...and blew it out, but Toads didn’t have the weapons on offense that Florida does. Also detracting from Boomer Schooner’s title hopes is that piece of hardware called the Heisman Trophy...won recently by OK QB Sam Bradford. The last three owners of that award failed to lead their teams to a straight-up bowl win. We refer you to...’05 weiner Reggie Bush (USC lost to Texas in the Rose Bowl [Anybody remember some guy named...Vince Young???!!]), ‘06 weiner Troy Smith (Buckeyes lost the BCS National Title to Florida) and (GASP!)...’07 weiner...some kid named Tebow... (Gators lost to Michigan in the Capital One Bowl!). We also lean toward the “over” here. This just in...Sooners star RB (and Las Vegas product) DeMarco Murray will miss the game. Not necessarily a show-stopper, but it definitely hurts Oklahoma...Florida 44 Sooners 33
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS:
Oh, the beer in my hand’s delightful,
And Vindy’s Picks sooooooooo insightful.
Even if they’re not in the poll,
Let ‘em bowl! Let ‘em bowl! Let ‘em bowl!
The points show no signs of stoppin’,
Despite all those pads a’poppin’,
The fans really love them so,
Let ‘em bowl! Let ‘em bowl! Let ‘em bowl!
When the last bowl game ends for the night,
How depressed I will be ‘til the Fall.
But if all of Vin’s picks are right,
I can say I at least had a ball.
Painted logos are quickly dryin’,
And the sponsors all hope we’re buyin’.
The scoreboard shows first-and-goal,
Let ‘em bowl! Let ‘em bowl! Let ‘em bowl!
Iiiii’ll be in a bowwwwl....for Chrisssstmassss...if onnnnnly.... innnnn.... myyyyyyy.....dreeeeams!
Just a thought on Brigham Young’s selection to the Las Vegas Bowl over Texas Christian...cue-up the Pink Floyd...”Money, it’s a hit. Don’t give me that T-C-U bullsh*t”. It’s no secret the Cougars are traveling yet-again to our national gambling mecca because they put butts in the stadium seats, but geez...how ‘bout a little variety???!!! And the beer vendors have to throw elbows as they try to make an alcoholic buck packed into whichever end zone the BYU opponents’ fans occupy!
OJ Simpson formally became a “guest” at a Southern Nevada correctional facility earlier this month (news flash...the Trojan/Buffalo rushing star is now in more-Northern Nevada grey-bar hotel). Maybe they’ll eventually retire his prisoner number (No. 1027820)! Wonder what his rookie prison year card will fetch! Anybody else out there see the irony in OJ’s role as a cop in the Naked Gun movie series???!!!!
Penn State’s Nittany Lion mascot, James Sheep, is suspended for the Rose Bowl after sustaining a DUI charge not long before PSU blew out Michigan State. Not to worry, he was offered a temp contract to don the Stanford tree costume until he’s reinstated in 2009...and a scholarship by Florida State! BTW, the police report quotes the wayward Sheep as calling out, “Joe Paaaaaaaaahhhhhhh” as he was hauled away in handcuffs by Happy Valley’s finest!
During a farewell appearance earlier this month in Baghdad, President Bush was the target of a pair of shoes, launched by an Iraqi journalist. Dubya tried to make the grab, but couldn’t reel in the footwear. In his defense, however, the shoes were thrown a little behind him and the outbound Commander-in-Chief trotted out of the conference room as the Secret Service sent in the punting unit. Anybody else out there foresee a NIKE commercial/satire to be aired during the upcoming Super Bowl???!! The original play called for Birkenstocks, but the Iraqi checked off at the line of scrimmage to Pradas after looking over the defense. The journalist later apologized for his actions, noting his mistook the president for a member of the Fightin’ Irish football team!
Following up on Vindy’s last discussion of the Army’s “coffee with a soldier” program...in light of the Hudson River Rats 34-0 neutral site loss to Navy, are there latte-lappin’ linemen? Did the motto change to one of the following: “Bean all you can bean”, “I am a cappuccino of one!” or “You make ‘em strong. We make ‘em espresso strong!”
Condi Rice was quoted this week as saying, “Only an idiot would trust Vindy’s pick on the Texas Tech game!” CollegeFootballNews.Com’s Clucko the Chicken selected Ole Miss over Texas Tech with a confidence-point ranking of 28 (1 being lowest confidence, 34 being the highest). BTW, Vindy and Clucko are practically related. The family tree-house suggests third cousins-four times removed (and those are just the incidents that actually made the official police blotter!).
“Wish I Had It Back”: Yeah, we’d like to revisit the Cincinnati -7 ½ over HAWAII pick after questioning the Bearkats’ motivation given the already-accepted berth in the Orange Bowl!
“Locked in a Box”: The Oklahoma Sooners left little doubt about covering the Big 12 Championship game and raised the lock record to 13-2 (.867)!
Vindy’s 2008 Bowl Season Best Bets: Championship Week: 1-0 (One pick?! That wuss!) Season: 38-25-1 (.603)
Rice -3 over Western Michigan, Boston College/Vanderbilt “under” 41, Joja’ Tech/LSU “under” 50, Kentucky +2 over East Carolina
Vindicator offers his annual holiday greetings to all his faithful readers...Pass on Earth, Goodwill Toward Linemen. On top of ‘dat, we extend...Crimson Tidings of Southern Comfort and joy! Be sure to visit us one more time a few days after completion of the BCS Championship game to check Vindy’s bowl recap and publication of his leftover “hash”!
INDEPENDENCE:
Northern Illinois over Louisiana Tech giving 1 ½ (47): LOCK OF DA’ BOWLS. Rookie NIU head coach Jerry Kill inherited 20 returning starters and took advantage of that to increase the Huskies points-scored by 6 per game (to average of 25), while lowering points-against by nearly two touchdowns per game (to average of 18). NIU did lose 3 of final 4 SU, but against high-powered offenses of Ball State and Central Michigan. Weeziana Tech can score as well, but big points came at the expense of WAC squads New Mexico State, Idaho and Utah State (38 in an outright loss), while putting up just 7 as one of Army’s trio of straight-up victories. Huskies could throw a shutout, but let’s call it...NIU 23 LT 7
DEC. 29
PAPAJOHNS.COM:
NC State over Rutgers taking 7 (53): Best guess for “wish I had it back”. Rutgers was left for dead after an 0-3 SU/ATS start, but covered its final eight games, winning six outright. Lowest rushing yardage totals for University of NJ since 84 ypg in 2004, but Mike Teel has given the Knights a potent air attack. On the other side of the field, Coach O’Brien has ‘Pack returning to the bowls after team went 3-9 just three seasons ago. O’Brien led Boston College to seven straight bowl victories before joining NC State. It’s okay to take a Knight to a gunfight, but we’ll just take the points...Rutgers 24 NCSU 20
ALAMO:
#22 Northwestern taking #25 Missouri taking 13 (66): We like the “over” more than a side here. Wildcats decent defensively, but gave up 45 to Ohio State and 37 to Michigan State. Regular readers know we’ve been lambasting the Tigers “defense” all season. Mizzou crushed Arkansas in a bowl last year following three-TD defeat by Oklahoma in the Big 12 Championship en route to third-straight bowl cover (2-1 SU), but we expect NW to light up the scoreboard enough in first bowl under Coach Pat Fitzgerald (and while we’re making another conservative call, the upset would not shock this prognosticator)...Tigers 44 NW 34
DEC. 30
ROADY’S HUMANITARIAN:
Maryland over Nevada-Reno taking 1 (58): Curious line, except Terps’ adjustment to a new offensive coordinator this year shows in a 4-ppg decrease in points-scored. Still, we like Maryland’s ACC-caliber D over Reno’s wild-and-wooly WAC offense (which has yielded just a 1-2 SU/ATS result in last three bowls)... Box Turtles 31 UNR 28
TEXAS:
Rice over Western Michigan giving 3 (73): This got lock consideration. Virtually a home game for the Owls, who addition to having a pass-heavy offense, also get it done on the ground. Not good news for WMU team that thrives on just outscoring its opponents. Broncos average turnovers per game. Can’t give the Owls a short field. A french Olympic swimmer and Rice fan (don’t ask) was quoted as saying, “The Mid-Americans? We’re gonna’ smash ‘em. That’s what we came here for.”...Owls 52 WMU 38
PACIFIC LIFE HOLIDAY:
#13 Oklahoma State over #15 Oregon giving 3 (76 ½): Second-highest over/under total of all 34 bowls. At first glance, the total appears justified. But a more in-depth look reveals both teams favoring the rush (though Cowpokes have racked nearly as much passing yardage) and a quickly-moving, lower-scoring game. Ducks beat up on weak Pacifist Ten foes, while State went toe-to-toe with the stellar Big 12 South. Mallards lost at home to Boise. Cowboys lost by 4 in Austin. Cowpokes and the “under” gets the vote...OKSU 38 Decoys 31
DEC. 31
BELL HELICOPTER ARMED FORCES:
Air Force over Houston taking 2 ½ (64): Pairing of two squads with completely different philosophies. Cougars live to pass, while the only passing done by the Pilots involves waking past opposing players back to huddle following runs for first-downs! Flyboys won in mid-September 31-28 at Houston. Coogs hung 70 on Tulsa, but are on 0-3 SU/ATS bowl slide...USAF 29 UH-OH 27
BRUT SUN:
#24 Oregon State over #18 Pittsburgh giving 3 (52 ½): Beavers probably deserving of fave role here since they had been on 8-1 ATS run until losing the RB component of the Rodgers brothers before bad loss to Oregon. Panthers took four of final five outright to get here (though we discount wins over Notre Dame and Louisville, props to Pitt for blowout of Connecticut!) And got points in four of ‘em. How weird it would be if Panthers win, Trojans cover vs. Penn State, who belted the Beavers, who tripped up Southern Cal. Pitt’s ast bowl “appearance” was 35-7 loss to Utah in 2004... Beavers 34 Pitt 20
GAYLORD HOTELS MUSIC CITY:
Boston College over Vanderbilt giving 3 ½ (41): Another game we ike to go under the total. While failing tio cover the past two, Eagles have won bowls in each of the last 8 seasons. Admirals opened 5-0 straight up, but struggled mightily to get that bowl-eligibility-securing 6th victory (mid-November at Kentucky) and posted 14 just one time in last eight tilts to stumble into first post-season competition since 1982...BC 19 Vandy 7
INSIGHT:
Minnesota over Kansas taking 10 (57 ½): gO-Fers offense went seriously-dormant in conference play, but the much-improved defense kept Minny in most of its games (55-0 loss to Iowa in season-ender the obvious exception!). As Todd Reesing’s passing goes, so goes Kansas. Fightin’ Mangones drew horrible conference slate this year, facing Oklahoma in Norman, Texas Tech and Texas. Jayhawks recorded seven wins, but vs... Florida International, Weeziana Tech, I-AA Sam Houston State, at Iowa State (barely) and Colorado. Only option here is to grab the grab the ten-spot...Birds 34 Gilded Gerbils 27
CHICK-FIL-A:
#14 Georgia Tech over Louisiana State giving 4 (50): If they didn’t do so before, the Bees players (and their foes) now believe in Coach Johnson’s triple-option! Bengals pretty good stopping the run (106 ypg allowed), but went 2-9 against the number, are on 3-15-2 spread death-spiral and almost lost to Troy as 20-point chalk. State seniors have little to play for. ‘Jackets defeated SEC opponents at both ends of the spectrum... Mississippi State and Georgia... Ramblin’ Wreck 20 Paper Tigers 12
JAN. 1 (“Hey look, Mr. Bill....these are all Thursday games!” “Oh, noooooooooooooooooo.....!”)
OUTBACK:
Iowa over South Carolina giving 3 ½ (43): Smallish line shows some respect for Gamehens squad that lost three of its last five and turns the ball over almost three times a game! By contrast, Hawkeyes won five of its last six to get here. Steve Spurrier better become the “Ol’ Ball-Protection Coach” or his folks are in trouble vs. Iowa club that’s covered three of last four post-season trips (against the likes of Texas, LSU and Florida ...twice!)...Hawkeyes 27 Chicken Nuggets 9
CAPITAL ONE:
#16 Georgia over #19 Michigan State giving 7 ½ (54): What will be the mind-set of the Bulldogs after squandering huge lead in loss to Joja’ Tech? Georgia has been backer-friendly in the bowls, going 7-3 ATS the last 10 years. After hearing how good Hawaii was for a couple weeks last season, Joja’ trashed the ‘Bows. No such hype surrounding State this time, but we like UGA anyway...’Dawgs 38 MSU 19
KONICA MINOLTA GATOR:
Nebraska over Clemson taking 2 ½ (55 ½): Tigers were one of season’s biggest busts (as noted in an earlier forecast, we had a futures wager on Clemson to win it all), but won and covered 3 of last 4. And though Tigers allowed 34 points to ‘Bama and 41 to FSU, no other opponent scored more than 21. Tigers have given points in each of the last three years’ bowls, but won just one and covered none of ‘em! Bo Pelini has returned the Huskers to an eight-win season and coached Big Dread to an OT loss at Texas Tech, but the defense still has issues...Nebraska 31 Clemson 30
ROSE PRESENTED BY CITI:
#5 Southern Cal over #6 Penn State giving 10 (45): Oh, the shame! But the pick is more head than heart. Lions just one bad 4th Quarter defensive series away from a title shot in Miami, yet also just a lone Buckeyes turnover from two losses and being completely outta’ the championship conversation. Just two State foes put up more than teens on the scoreboard (24 each by Illinois and Iowa). SoCal is even better, allowing just two opponents more than 10 (23 to Stanford and 27 in only outright loss at Oregon State) and while it lost four of last 6 ATS, none of those saw a spread this low. Trojans won’t likely get anything going vs. State’s run stoppers, but the Lions’ pass defense, especially on 3rd-and-long, is an exploitable weakness. Big Tent-Peg Conference is on 0-4 SU Rose Bowl skid. Trojans have won and covered 5 of last 6 post-season games, and three of last four tries in Pasadena (convincingly!). While we’ll accept a SoCal spread win or an outright victory by the Lions, a State defeat covering the line is of no consolation to this proud, but skeptical alum...USC 29 PSU 14
FED-EX ORANGE:
#12 Cincinnati over #21 Virginia Tech giving 1 ½ (42): As always, defense is the strength of the Hokies (last five opponents scored in the teens or less and Tech is plus-11 in take-aways). Bearkats need to do better protecting the passer (yielded 30 sacks this season) and the ball itself (minus-5 turnovers). Tech is only 2-5 vs. the number in last 7 bowls (winning two outright), while Cincy has covered just 1 of last 6 post-season tilts. ‘Kats did close the year with five SU victories, have won three straight bowls (though only over Southern Miss, Western Michigan and Marshall) and have revenge factor for 29-13 loss at Virginia Tech in 2006...UC 27 VT 23
JAN. 2
AT&T COTTON:
#20 Mississippi over #8 Texas Tech taking 5 ½ (70 1/2): Yeah, right...like Vindicator has a snowball’s chance of pickin’ the correct side here. The Tarot deck likes Tech, the coin backed Ole Miss 6 outta’ 10. The Magic 8-Ball responded, “You gotta’ be kiddin’ me!” and Auntie Entity’s wheel favored “dismemberment” (but bowl committee members typically look down upon that [though Dick Cheney has recently come out in favor of water-boarding !]). Go! Run! Save yourselves!...Rebels 31 Red Raiders 29
AUTOZONE LIBERTY:
Kentucky over East Carolina taking 2 (42): This one got “lock” votes. We were seriously hopin’ see the Pirates getting about a touchdown because they’ve won their last five games outright when taking 8 ½ or more points (including last season’s bowl win over Boise State getting double-digits). ECU fizzled a bit after opening upsets over Virginia Tech and West Virginia, following that success with a four-point squeaker over Tulane and three straight losses. Pirates didn’t get the booty as chalk this season, going just 2-6-1. Wildcats had some poor moments, but lost at ‘Bama by a FG...Kentucky 24 East Carolina 17
ALL-STATE SUGAR:
#7 Utah over #4 Alabama taking 10 ½ (45): If both defenses dominate they way they can, this will be a close, low-scoring game. Between LSU and his first year at ‘Bama, Nick Saban has gone 4-2 SU/ATS in his last six bowl opportunities, but didn’t lay double-digits in any of ‘em. Key match-up here might be Tide’s rushing game (196.5 ypg) vs. Utes run defense (107.2 ypg allowed). Given that TCU had Utah on the ropes before losing and conspiracy theory noted earlier regarding the BYU game, Utes’ best win of the season mighta’ been 31-28 victory over Oregon State. Senior QB Brian Johnson is a good signal-caller, but Tim Tebow he ain’t. Still, we take Utah as the only BCS bowl doggie we’‘ll back...Tide 23 Utes 17
JAN. 3
INTERNATIONAL:
Buffalo over Connecticut taking 4 (51 1/2): Both teams relatively new to I-A post-season play as UConn enters only its third bowl, while Bulls make their bowl debut. Run-heavy Huskies spanked eventual Big Least champ Cincinnati, but crawl into January having dropped 3 of last 4 games outright (beating only Syracuse). Buffalo prefers the air game and its best shot at a victory might be drawing the Dogs into a shootout. Bulls coach Turner Gill interviewed at Syracuse and Auburn, but just signed one year extension for more moola at Buffalo. That should work in Buffalo’s favor. Bulls fans can save plane fare and just skate across Lake Ontario to the Great White North.... UConn 27 Buffalo 24
JAN. 5
TOSTITOS FIESTA:
#3 Texas over #10 Ohio State giving 9 ½ (53 ½): There’s more pressure on Texas here to prove the BCS folks made the wrong choice sending Oklahoma to the Big 12 championship game. We think Mack Brown will be more than happy to oblige and will run it up given the opportunity. Buckeyes like playing in Glendale, having won the Fiesta Bowls in ‘02, ‘03 and ‘05, but none of those teams compared to this year’s ‘Horns (except maybe Miami’s then-undefeated 2002 squad) and State is pedestrian 4-5 ATS in last 9 post-season trips. UT no bargain either at 4-6 ATS in last ten bowls. Steers covered two of last three, but did not cover a minus-9 vs. Iowa in 2006...Texas 34 Ohio State 23
JAN. 6
GMAC:
Tulsa over #23 Ball State taking 2 ½ (77): Well, one sure-fire way to get detractors off your back for criticizing your decision to decline an offer to play another undefeated team in a bowl game is to get trounced in your conference title by your 15-point underdog opponent and prove yourself not worthy to begin with! Not sure what the Cardinals have left to gain with a victory...the perfect season? Gone? MAC title? Gone. Coach Hoke? Gone... to coach San Diego State???!!!. Golden Hurricane forfeited the C-USA crown via seven (count ‘em, seven!) turnovers vs. ECU. First underdog game for Tulsa since 2007 MAC championship match...Tulsa 38 BSU 34
JAN. 8
BCS NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP:
#1 Florida over #2 Oklahoma giving 3 (72): Gators beat previously-undefeated Crimson Tide without Percy Harvin and minus a couple of defensive players as well. Sooners faced only one other team with a great defense ... TCU...and blew it out, but Toads didn’t have the weapons on offense that Florida does. Also detracting from Boomer Schooner’s title hopes is that piece of hardware called the Heisman Trophy...won recently by OK QB Sam Bradford. The last three owners of that award failed to lead their teams to a straight-up bowl win. We refer you to...’05 weiner Reggie Bush (USC lost to Texas in the Rose Bowl [Anybody remember some guy named...Vince Young???!!]), ‘06 weiner Troy Smith (Buckeyes lost the BCS National Title to Florida) and (GASP!)...’07 weiner...some kid named Tebow... (Gators lost to Michigan in the Capital One Bowl!). We also lean toward the “over” here. This just in...Sooners star RB (and Las Vegas product) DeMarco Murray will miss the game. Not necessarily a show-stopper, but it definitely hurts Oklahoma...Florida 44 Sooners 33
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS:
Oh, the beer in my hand’s delightful,
And Vindy’s Picks sooooooooo insightful.
Even if they’re not in the poll,
Let ‘em bowl! Let ‘em bowl! Let ‘em bowl!
The points show no signs of stoppin’,
Despite all those pads a’poppin’,
The fans really love them so,
Let ‘em bowl! Let ‘em bowl! Let ‘em bowl!
When the last bowl game ends for the night,
How depressed I will be ‘til the Fall.
But if all of Vin’s picks are right,
I can say I at least had a ball.
Painted logos are quickly dryin’,
And the sponsors all hope we’re buyin’.
The scoreboard shows first-and-goal,
Let ‘em bowl! Let ‘em bowl! Let ‘em bowl!
Iiiii’ll be in a bowwwwl....for Chrisssstmassss...if onnnnnly.... innnnn.... myyyyyyy.....dreeeeams!
Just a thought on Brigham Young’s selection to the Las Vegas Bowl over Texas Christian...cue-up the Pink Floyd...”Money, it’s a hit. Don’t give me that T-C-U bullsh*t”. It’s no secret the Cougars are traveling yet-again to our national gambling mecca because they put butts in the stadium seats, but geez...how ‘bout a little variety???!!! And the beer vendors have to throw elbows as they try to make an alcoholic buck packed into whichever end zone the BYU opponents’ fans occupy!
OJ Simpson formally became a “guest” at a Southern Nevada correctional facility earlier this month (news flash...the Trojan/Buffalo rushing star is now in more-Northern Nevada grey-bar hotel). Maybe they’ll eventually retire his prisoner number (No. 1027820)! Wonder what his rookie prison year card will fetch! Anybody else out there see the irony in OJ’s role as a cop in the Naked Gun movie series???!!!!
Penn State’s Nittany Lion mascot, James Sheep, is suspended for the Rose Bowl after sustaining a DUI charge not long before PSU blew out Michigan State. Not to worry, he was offered a temp contract to don the Stanford tree costume until he’s reinstated in 2009...and a scholarship by Florida State! BTW, the police report quotes the wayward Sheep as calling out, “Joe Paaaaaaaaahhhhhhh” as he was hauled away in handcuffs by Happy Valley’s finest!
During a farewell appearance earlier this month in Baghdad, President Bush was the target of a pair of shoes, launched by an Iraqi journalist. Dubya tried to make the grab, but couldn’t reel in the footwear. In his defense, however, the shoes were thrown a little behind him and the outbound Commander-in-Chief trotted out of the conference room as the Secret Service sent in the punting unit. Anybody else out there foresee a NIKE commercial/satire to be aired during the upcoming Super Bowl???!! The original play called for Birkenstocks, but the Iraqi checked off at the line of scrimmage to Pradas after looking over the defense. The journalist later apologized for his actions, noting his mistook the president for a member of the Fightin’ Irish football team!
Following up on Vindy’s last discussion of the Army’s “coffee with a soldier” program...in light of the Hudson River Rats 34-0 neutral site loss to Navy, are there latte-lappin’ linemen? Did the motto change to one of the following: “Bean all you can bean”, “I am a cappuccino of one!” or “You make ‘em strong. We make ‘em espresso strong!”
Condi Rice was quoted this week as saying, “Only an idiot would trust Vindy’s pick on the Texas Tech game!” CollegeFootballNews.Com’s Clucko the Chicken selected Ole Miss over Texas Tech with a confidence-point ranking of 28 (1 being lowest confidence, 34 being the highest). BTW, Vindy and Clucko are practically related. The family tree-house suggests third cousins-four times removed (and those are just the incidents that actually made the official police blotter!).
“Wish I Had It Back”: Yeah, we’d like to revisit the Cincinnati -7 ½ over HAWAII pick after questioning the Bearkats’ motivation given the already-accepted berth in the Orange Bowl!
“Locked in a Box”: The Oklahoma Sooners left little doubt about covering the Big 12 Championship game and raised the lock record to 13-2 (.867)!
Vindy’s 2008 Bowl Season Best Bets: Championship Week: 1-0 (One pick?! That wuss!) Season: 38-25-1 (.603)
Rice -3 over Western Michigan, Boston College/Vanderbilt “under” 41, Joja’ Tech/LSU “under” 50, Kentucky +2 over East Carolina
Vindicator offers his annual holiday greetings to all his faithful readers...Pass on Earth, Goodwill Toward Linemen. On top of ‘dat, we extend...Crimson Tidings of Southern Comfort and joy! Be sure to visit us one more time a few days after completion of the BCS Championship game to check Vindy’s bowl recap and publication of his leftover “hash”!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Vindy's 2008-09 Bowl Predictions- Early Games
FOOTBALL SEASON CURSE ATTEMPT BACKFIRES
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (ITAR-Tass)...Way back in April, construction workers dug up a Red Sox jersey from a new Yankee Stadium service corridor. Buried there as a curse by a Red Sox fan, the David Ortiz uniform top “worked” ...the Bronx Bombers did not even make the 2008 MLB playoffs. Fast-forward several months to December 2008, when the Vegas Vindicator, conducting his annual change of flooring from Italian marble tile to Astroturf in honor of bowl season, uncovered a player jersey from USC, the 2007 Grill-Master Award winner, reportedly hidden in his livingroom by bookies hoping to put a hex on Vindy’s season. But the ploy was a complete bust as Vin’s lock picks hit nearly 87%, “best bets” cashed tickets at a more-than-60% success rate and the Sin City Soothsayer finished a regular season over .500 for first time since Joe Paterno discovered fire! Showing his rapier wit, Vindy responded to the attempted sabotage by quipping “Stuff that in your stocking and smoke it!”, “Yo...Bite me!” and “Curse this!” In fact, given the unprecedented positive results, the Weber Kid hinted at plans to have a Texas Tech jersey entombed under his driveway next season. The famous forecaster allegedly offered the job (and a significant stipend) to a local bookmaker, who declined, but allegedly said he could refer him to an “associate who’s very good with cement”!
A ho-ho-ho....hum...4-5 championship week (125-120-4, 510), prompting an Iraqi sports journalist to hurl platform sneakers, has your sardonic seer diving for cover behind...
THE WEBER KID’S 2008-09 BOWL PREDICTIONS
(AP rankings; lines of December 18, over/under totals in parentheses)
DEC. 20
EAGLE BANK BOWL:
Navy over Wake Forest taking 3 (43): The original moniker for this game was the Congressional Bowl, but that didn’t even last the duration of the first season! Middies have beaten the line 4 straight post-seasons and gone 2-2 SU, missing outright victories by a whisker over Boston College in 2006 and Utah last year. Rematch of late September game in Winston-Salem, won 24-17 by the Boat People. Nothing’s changed to suggest Navy can’t repeat that and the Sailors are on nice 21-11ATS run getting points away from the home harbor. Middies also did not give up a single point in its final two regular season games, neither of which were played in Annapolis. Vindy’s note-to-self in his post-bowl recap last season was akin to “Do not bet vs. the Middies in a bowl!”...Ensigns 20 Deacs 17
NEW MEXICO:
Colorado State over Fresno State taking 2 ½ (60 1/2): Bettors nightmare. This pair combined to go 3-10 ATS away from their respective homefields. Rams did almost beat BYU and how the Bulldogs opened the season beating Rutgers at Exit 9B of the Jersey Turnpike is still a mystery. Fresno’s only cover other than win over the Knights was at San Jose State. Bulldogs bowl resume ain’t bad though...4-1 SU/ATS with victories over Virginia, UCLA and Georgia Tech (twice!)...Fresno 30 Colorado State 28
MAGICJACK ST. PETERSBURG:
South Florida over Memphis giving 12 1/2 (52): A 5-0 SU start for the Bulls quickly unraveled as USF dropped five of its last 7. Have to think junior QB Matt Grothe can pick apart a Tigers defense that played in C-USA conference that did not value defense nearly as much as it valued offensive shootouts. Bulls just 1-2 SU/ATS in short bowl history. They’ll make this one count...South Florida 45 Memphis 19
PIONEER PUREVISION LAS VEGAS:
#17 Brigham Young over Arizona taking 3 (61 1/2): The Cougar seniors make a 4th straight December trek to Sin City (woo-hoo). The Mormon faithful have made the Vegas Silver Bowl nearly a home atmosphere, but the Cougs have covered only two of their last six bowls. Not sure how well the Wildcats fans will travel given ‘Zonas’s first post-season showing since 1998. BYUsed Me may have lost legitimately to Utah, but the blowout loss leads this forecaster to consider a conspiracy meant to ensure a conference-wide profitable BCS berth for a Mountain West squad...Missionaries 28 Wildcats 25
DEC. 21
R&L CARRIERS NEW ORLEANS:
Troy over Southern Miss giving 4 (54 1/2): Trojans went 8-3 against the line this season, including covers at Columbus and at Baton Rouge, in piling up 8 SU victories (and the 9th should’ve come at LSU). Troy allowed a grand total of 19 points over its last three regular games and will show no fear playing a mere C-USA opponent. Eagles also finished strong, winning and covering their last four tilts to get here, but beat only one team that finished with a winning record for the 2008 campaign...Troy 34 USM 20
DEC. 23
SAN DIEGO COUNTY CREDIT UNION POINSETTIA:
#11 Texas Christian over #9 Boise State giving 2 ½ (46): Two great defenses square off here and both teams can put up points. Both entered the season with thoughts of much bigger things than December visit to San Diego. Boise did its part, going undefeated, including a win in Eugene. Rematch of 2003 bowl, in which Toads covered but lost SU to the Broncos. TCU has covered 5 of 6 bowls under Coach Patterson. Boise is 2-3 ATS in its last 5 bowl games. Best call here might be the “under”...TCU 20 BSU 16
DEC. 24
SHERATON HAWAII:
HAWAII over Notre Dame giving 1 1/2 (48 1/2): Frightenin’ Irish have been defeated by nine consecutive bowl opponents. Middle-Eastern pilgrims held a symbolic stoning of the devil earlier this month in Saudi Arabia. Funny, fans in South Bend conducted a similar action involving a Charlie Weis effigy (and Vindy’s spies report unhappy alumni in Ann Arbor planning a little soiree for a Rich Rodriguez dummy too!). Warriors had Cincinnati all but beaten, but yielded a 19-point 4th Quarter that cost ‘em an 8th straight-up win. No snowballs in the tropics, but there should be lotsa’ pineapples, coconuts and lava rocks for Catholic “fans” wanting to show off their arms...’Bows 38 Hunchbacks 31
DEC. 26
MOTOR CITY:
Florida Atlantic over Central Michigan taking 6 ½ (63): Owls got hot in the second half of the season vs. not-real potent Sun Belt schedule after dropping 4 of first 5 SU (in their defense, six of first eight were road games) to win five of last six. Chippies bowling for 3rd consecutive season (1-1 SU/2-0 ATS). Only three of CMU’s opponents scored less than 25. Owls allowed 52 at Texas...no shame in that....but also 50 to Florida International. Chippies gave up 56 to (gasp!) Eastern Michigan...CMU 38 FAU 33
DEC. 27
MEINEKE CAR CARE:
North Carolina over West Virginia (PK) (44 ½): Not sure which Carolina team will take the field here, but since Butch Davis took the helm, points-scored are up nearly 10 ppg, while points-against are down 10 ppg. Can’t argue with a 20-point shift on average. First year coach Bill Stewart led Mounties to bowl win over Oklahoma last season after RichRod jumped to Ann Arbor. WVU not scoring as much this year, but have covered three straight bowl appearances, winning two. Butch Davis is no stranger to bowl victories either, having been with solid Miami teams in the late Nineties...UNC 23 WVU 19
CHAMPS SPORTS:
Wisconsin over Florida State taking 4 ½ (52 1/2): No known Injun’ suspensions at this point, but there’s still time before kickoff (that pesky academic requirement thingy could still intervene if the criminals on the team go into Gatorade-bucket defilade!). Seminoles have trumped the bowl spread four straight times (but haven’t been minus points since 2004 season). Badgers imploded during conference play, but had three defeats by combined 6 points...Da’ Chop 23 Varmints 20
EMERALD:
California over Miami giving 7 (50): Bears rush D has declined for third straight season, but Miami will throw more often than run anyway. Cal’s offense became more balanced this year and ‘Canes dropped last pair of regular season games, giving up 89 total points. Bears have yielded a lot of points to the better teams it faced, but Miami isn’t in that caliber. Bears at least playing close to home. Miami’s last bowl resulted in uninspired 21-20 win over Reno. Cal’s won 4 of last 5 bowls (3-2 ATS), though just two by 7 or more... Bears 31 Miami 14
Stop by again in a day or two, when we answering the following burning questions... who gets honors as "lock of da' bowls"? Which teams/totals made the "best bets", Gators or Sooners as national champions? Red Raiders...are they real or are they Memorex?! Boxers or briefs?! (Oh sorry...wrong blog!)
Ya'll come back now, hear???!!!
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (ITAR-Tass)...Way back in April, construction workers dug up a Red Sox jersey from a new Yankee Stadium service corridor. Buried there as a curse by a Red Sox fan, the David Ortiz uniform top “worked” ...the Bronx Bombers did not even make the 2008 MLB playoffs. Fast-forward several months to December 2008, when the Vegas Vindicator, conducting his annual change of flooring from Italian marble tile to Astroturf in honor of bowl season, uncovered a player jersey from USC, the 2007 Grill-Master Award winner, reportedly hidden in his livingroom by bookies hoping to put a hex on Vindy’s season. But the ploy was a complete bust as Vin’s lock picks hit nearly 87%, “best bets” cashed tickets at a more-than-60% success rate and the Sin City Soothsayer finished a regular season over .500 for first time since Joe Paterno discovered fire! Showing his rapier wit, Vindy responded to the attempted sabotage by quipping “Stuff that in your stocking and smoke it!”, “Yo...Bite me!” and “Curse this!” In fact, given the unprecedented positive results, the Weber Kid hinted at plans to have a Texas Tech jersey entombed under his driveway next season. The famous forecaster allegedly offered the job (and a significant stipend) to a local bookmaker, who declined, but allegedly said he could refer him to an “associate who’s very good with cement”!
A ho-ho-ho....hum...4-5 championship week (125-120-4, 510), prompting an Iraqi sports journalist to hurl platform sneakers, has your sardonic seer diving for cover behind...
THE WEBER KID’S 2008-09 BOWL PREDICTIONS
(AP rankings; lines of December 18, over/under totals in parentheses)
DEC. 20
EAGLE BANK BOWL:
Navy over Wake Forest taking 3 (43): The original moniker for this game was the Congressional Bowl, but that didn’t even last the duration of the first season! Middies have beaten the line 4 straight post-seasons and gone 2-2 SU, missing outright victories by a whisker over Boston College in 2006 and Utah last year. Rematch of late September game in Winston-Salem, won 24-17 by the Boat People. Nothing’s changed to suggest Navy can’t repeat that and the Sailors are on nice 21-11ATS run getting points away from the home harbor. Middies also did not give up a single point in its final two regular season games, neither of which were played in Annapolis. Vindy’s note-to-self in his post-bowl recap last season was akin to “Do not bet vs. the Middies in a bowl!”...Ensigns 20 Deacs 17
NEW MEXICO:
Colorado State over Fresno State taking 2 ½ (60 1/2): Bettors nightmare. This pair combined to go 3-10 ATS away from their respective homefields. Rams did almost beat BYU and how the Bulldogs opened the season beating Rutgers at Exit 9B of the Jersey Turnpike is still a mystery. Fresno’s only cover other than win over the Knights was at San Jose State. Bulldogs bowl resume ain’t bad though...4-1 SU/ATS with victories over Virginia, UCLA and Georgia Tech (twice!)...Fresno 30 Colorado State 28
MAGICJACK ST. PETERSBURG:
South Florida over Memphis giving 12 1/2 (52): A 5-0 SU start for the Bulls quickly unraveled as USF dropped five of its last 7. Have to think junior QB Matt Grothe can pick apart a Tigers defense that played in C-USA conference that did not value defense nearly as much as it valued offensive shootouts. Bulls just 1-2 SU/ATS in short bowl history. They’ll make this one count...South Florida 45 Memphis 19
PIONEER PUREVISION LAS VEGAS:
#17 Brigham Young over Arizona taking 3 (61 1/2): The Cougar seniors make a 4th straight December trek to Sin City (woo-hoo). The Mormon faithful have made the Vegas Silver Bowl nearly a home atmosphere, but the Cougs have covered only two of their last six bowls. Not sure how well the Wildcats fans will travel given ‘Zonas’s first post-season showing since 1998. BYUsed Me may have lost legitimately to Utah, but the blowout loss leads this forecaster to consider a conspiracy meant to ensure a conference-wide profitable BCS berth for a Mountain West squad...Missionaries 28 Wildcats 25
DEC. 21
R&L CARRIERS NEW ORLEANS:
Troy over Southern Miss giving 4 (54 1/2): Trojans went 8-3 against the line this season, including covers at Columbus and at Baton Rouge, in piling up 8 SU victories (and the 9th should’ve come at LSU). Troy allowed a grand total of 19 points over its last three regular games and will show no fear playing a mere C-USA opponent. Eagles also finished strong, winning and covering their last four tilts to get here, but beat only one team that finished with a winning record for the 2008 campaign...Troy 34 USM 20
DEC. 23
SAN DIEGO COUNTY CREDIT UNION POINSETTIA:
#11 Texas Christian over #9 Boise State giving 2 ½ (46): Two great defenses square off here and both teams can put up points. Both entered the season with thoughts of much bigger things than December visit to San Diego. Boise did its part, going undefeated, including a win in Eugene. Rematch of 2003 bowl, in which Toads covered but lost SU to the Broncos. TCU has covered 5 of 6 bowls under Coach Patterson. Boise is 2-3 ATS in its last 5 bowl games. Best call here might be the “under”...TCU 20 BSU 16
DEC. 24
SHERATON HAWAII:
HAWAII over Notre Dame giving 1 1/2 (48 1/2): Frightenin’ Irish have been defeated by nine consecutive bowl opponents. Middle-Eastern pilgrims held a symbolic stoning of the devil earlier this month in Saudi Arabia. Funny, fans in South Bend conducted a similar action involving a Charlie Weis effigy (and Vindy’s spies report unhappy alumni in Ann Arbor planning a little soiree for a Rich Rodriguez dummy too!). Warriors had Cincinnati all but beaten, but yielded a 19-point 4th Quarter that cost ‘em an 8th straight-up win. No snowballs in the tropics, but there should be lotsa’ pineapples, coconuts and lava rocks for Catholic “fans” wanting to show off their arms...’Bows 38 Hunchbacks 31
DEC. 26
MOTOR CITY:
Florida Atlantic over Central Michigan taking 6 ½ (63): Owls got hot in the second half of the season vs. not-real potent Sun Belt schedule after dropping 4 of first 5 SU (in their defense, six of first eight were road games) to win five of last six. Chippies bowling for 3rd consecutive season (1-1 SU/2-0 ATS). Only three of CMU’s opponents scored less than 25. Owls allowed 52 at Texas...no shame in that....but also 50 to Florida International. Chippies gave up 56 to (gasp!) Eastern Michigan...CMU 38 FAU 33
DEC. 27
MEINEKE CAR CARE:
North Carolina over West Virginia (PK) (44 ½): Not sure which Carolina team will take the field here, but since Butch Davis took the helm, points-scored are up nearly 10 ppg, while points-against are down 10 ppg. Can’t argue with a 20-point shift on average. First year coach Bill Stewart led Mounties to bowl win over Oklahoma last season after RichRod jumped to Ann Arbor. WVU not scoring as much this year, but have covered three straight bowl appearances, winning two. Butch Davis is no stranger to bowl victories either, having been with solid Miami teams in the late Nineties...UNC 23 WVU 19
CHAMPS SPORTS:
Wisconsin over Florida State taking 4 ½ (52 1/2): No known Injun’ suspensions at this point, but there’s still time before kickoff (that pesky academic requirement thingy could still intervene if the criminals on the team go into Gatorade-bucket defilade!). Seminoles have trumped the bowl spread four straight times (but haven’t been minus points since 2004 season). Badgers imploded during conference play, but had three defeats by combined 6 points...Da’ Chop 23 Varmints 20
EMERALD:
California over Miami giving 7 (50): Bears rush D has declined for third straight season, but Miami will throw more often than run anyway. Cal’s offense became more balanced this year and ‘Canes dropped last pair of regular season games, giving up 89 total points. Bears have yielded a lot of points to the better teams it faced, but Miami isn’t in that caliber. Bears at least playing close to home. Miami’s last bowl resulted in uninspired 21-20 win over Reno. Cal’s won 4 of last 5 bowls (3-2 ATS), though just two by 7 or more... Bears 31 Miami 14
Stop by again in a day or two, when we answering the following burning questions... who gets honors as "lock of da' bowls"? Which teams/totals made the "best bets", Gators or Sooners as national champions? Red Raiders...are they real or are they Memorex?! Boxers or briefs?! (Oh sorry...wrong blog!)
Ya'll come back now, hear???!!!
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Vindy's 2008 Championship Week Picks
DNA TESTS REVEAL CHILDHOOD SPORTS APTITUDE
BOULDER, Colorado (Reuters)...”Those who can, play. Those who can’t, coach. Those who can’t coach, predict.” So goes the old adage. And for less than $150, parents can find out where their child falls in the spectrum. That’s the premise of a new DNA test that analyzes blood for the presence of ACTN3, a gene linked to top-flight athletes. The results purportedly determine if a child, between the ages of 8 and 12, will ultimately succeed as a defensive end, outfielder, goalie, offensive coordinator or even a sports-gambling tout. The test can also separate out doer from picker by detecting high levels of another enzyme, called Phosphoric Iodized Potassium Nitrate, or PIKN for short, often found in high concentrations among top-flight prognosticators. The Gaming Control Board immediately issued a statement pooh-poohing the study, noting consistent accurate prediction of sporting events against the spread involves multiple factors and years of studying trends, injuries and weather effects as well as schedule situations and individual, unit or coaching match-ups. Secretly, however, casino operators fear creation of an army of super-forecasters, which could bring the legal sportsbooks to their financial knees in the span of a single season or two.
And to think...the Vindicator gave up his childhood dream of being a member of the Egyptian Olympic cross-country ski team to instead produce things like Week 14's record of 7-6-1 (121-115-4, 513). While Vindy shakes the desert sand (and a little pyramid dust) out of his Rossignols, take a gander at...
THE WEBER KID’S 2008 CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK FORECAST
FRI. DEC. 5
MAC Championship @ Detroit, Michigan
#12 Ball State over Buffalo giving 14 1/2: Kudos to Bulls coach Turner Gill for turning a moribund football program into a seven-win, bowl-bound squad in just three seasons, but last week’s home loss to the Golden Flushes of Kent State, who had only two wins over I-A teams until that point, shows Buffalo is not ready yet to be the MAC champ. It was competitive in back-to-back losses to Central Michigan and Western Michigan, both of whom Ball State defeated (by 7 and 22, respectively). Bulls lost to the Cardinals at home by 30 in 2006 and 35 at Muncie last year... Ball State 42 Buffalo 20
SAT. DEC. 6
SEC Championship @ Atlanta, Georgia
#2 Florida over #1 Alabama giving 9 ½: But there are a couple reasons to like Alabama in its first conference crown game since 1999. Tide has allowed 9 points or less in four of last five games (but did have to go to the bonus round to drop LSU in Baton Rouge) and did something Florida didn’t...beat Ole Miss. First underdog opportunity for ‘Bama since season-opening blowout over Clemson (also on a neutral field). Florida could add to its league-leading five interceptions returned for touchdown (tied with two other teams) by pressuring John Parker-Wilson (even without a couple of injured defenders) and we can’t forget UF smashed Georgia on a neutral site. Straight-up winner has covered 8 of last 10 SEC title matches...Crocs 34 Alabama 20
Big 12 Championship @ San Antonio, Texas
#4 Oklahoma over #19 Missouri giving 17: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Right or wrong, the Sooners got the BCS nod to be here. The South representative has dominated the conference championship of late, winning and covering 5 of last 6, all as chalk. In fact, the straight-up winner has covered at least the past eleven title games and if Missouri pulls the upset, we’re launching a Congressional investigation, spearheaded by Kansas senator Sam Brownback! The Sooners smacked the Tigers here 38-17 last season and look even stronger this year, while Mizzou has been touched for 42, 56 and 40 against Illinois, Texas and Kansas...with two of those games on neutral sites. Have to think Okies could hit the 60's for the fifth consecutive game. Only knock on Oklahoma is allowing a 90-yard kickoff return for touchdown early in the 4th Quarter at Oklahoma State. Maybe the Tigers can figure out a way to have the Sooners kick the ball to them each down instead of taking snaps...Oklahoma 58 Mizzou 24
#5 Southern Cal over UCLA giving 32 1/2: Despite unconfirmed reports suggesting otherwise, we think Trojans likely locked in Charlie Weis’ plane ticket outta’ South Bend last week (and final margin woulda’ been worse had USC not suffered three interceptions). Men of Troy have a very remote shot at the big prize, but will probably face Penn State in Pasadena. We figure they’ll go out swingin’ for the fences and aren’t hesitant about scoring obscene amounts of points. Bruins beat USC 13-9 in 2006 and lost by only 14 last season, but having mustered just 6 in home loss to the Beavers and 9 last week at Arizona State, UCLA could be on the wrong end of a second shutout in 2008 ...USC 41 UCLA 0
#13 Cincinnati over HAWAII giving 7 1/2: Guess there was no reason for the Bearkats to lay the lumber to the ‘Cuse Saturday since Friday’s Pitt win over the Mounties gave UC the Big Fleeced title. Two turnovers and ten penalties didn’t help. Motivation could be an issue for Bearkats team already locked into the Orange Bowl and just enjoying a little Island sunshine. In the shadows of Boise State, Hawaii has quietly compiled nice seven-win season, including victories in six of last eight after slow 1-3 start. ‘Bows 3-2 ATS at home this year and have won four of five outright west of the Mainland. Not bad for a team that brought back just four starters on each side of the ball and introduced a new head coach. ‘Cats have covered 7 of last 9 giving points to non-conference teams...Cincy 31 UH 20
ACC Championship @ Tampa, Florida
#18 Boston College over Virginia Tech giving 1: Rematch of earlier season game in Chestnut Hill, won 28-23 by the Eagles. Hokies just 2-5 ATS in their past 7 games this year and defeat by BC lowered Tech’s spread record against the Eagles to 2-7. Neither team scoring many points, with VT breaking outta’ the 20's just once (in 35-30 win at Nebraska) and Boston College doing so just three times (once vs. I-AA Rhode Island). Tech having un-Hokie-like year defensively, holding just one FBS opponent (Duke) to single digits. Eagles limited Central Florida to a lone touchdown and pitched shutouts in three other games to-date. BC riding four-game SU win streak. We’ll go with the hotter squad, who also have revenge factor after losing ACC championship 30-16 to these Hokies last year...BC 24 Virginia Tech 20
#23 Pittsburgh over CONNECTICUT taking 2 ½: Panthers would like to return the favor after losing at home by 20 to UConn last season. Pitt just 1-3 SU/ATS last 4 vs. the Dogs, but its only road loss came at Cincinnati (by a TD). Connecticut smoked the Bearkats, but squeaked by Temple and lost to South Florida before last week’s bye. Huskies went one-and-done in only ranked appearance back in Week Six and haven’t impressed the AP voters enough to return since then. They won’t get it done this week either...Panthers 24 UConn 19
C-USA Championship @ Orlando, Florida
East Carolina over Tulsa taking 13 ½: Third appearance for Tulsa in the very short, now four-year history of the game. The previous two weren’t pleasant as Central Florida won (and covered) both (in ‘05 and ‘07). All three C-USA championships were covered by the favorite, but we think that stops this year. After nice 7-0 SU/6-1 ATS start, Golden Hurricane has slipped to 2-2/1-3 recently, including unsettling 3-point win last week at Marshall. The magic that carried the Pirates to upsets of Virginia Tech and West Virginia in its first pair of tilts of 2008 faded quickly with three consecutive outright losses in mid-October (so did the spread record, which now stands at 4-7-1). ECU is, however, on 14-4 run getting points away from home...Tulsa 35 Arrrrrgh 27
Army over Navy taking 11 (@ Philadelphia, PA): Two of country’s perennial Top Ten rushing attacks square off here. Both also rank in the Top 28 in rush defense, which should be conducive to quick, relatively low-scoring affair. While the Middies have scored 12 more rushing touchdowns than Army, it has faced only one of other option team...Air Force, whom it defeated 33-27 earlier. Keydets have only three straight-up victories, but played hard enough to cover in 16-7 loss to the Falcons and 21-17 loss at Texas A&M (who boasts its own Corps of Cadets). Army owns solid 7-3 ATS record on the season and lost by 3 to Buffalo and 7 to Rice. Middies have won 7 games (including victories over Rutgers, at Wake Forest and shutout at Northern Illinois), but are just 5-4 against the line (1-1 as chalk)...Sailors 20 Ground Pounders 13
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
It’s a little-known fact that back in the late Sixties, the Sin City Soothsayer participated in highly-classified government experiments, using the aforementioned DNA tests. Vindy’s enzyme profile pegged his only chance at a successful sports career as being one of two specific positions...waterboy for a women’s rhythmic gymnastics team or retail associate at a bobblehead doll concession stand!
Las Vegas is one of five cities where the Army is trying “coffee with a soldier”... recruiting America’s future military leaders at local coffee shops. Now we know where the Keydets get their players. If you look closely, you can see the Starbucks logo on the Black Knights’ Gatorade buckets. Talk about getting “up” for the game! Opening jitters have nothin’ to do with anxiety...it’s the iced coffee in those buckets! (Observant fans and viewers at home will also note little plastic sippy-tops on the cups!). As the signals get sent in from the sideline, the QB checks them against a tiny order-menu chalkboard strapped to his wrist! In fact, upon hearing an unsuspecting civilian rattle off his desire for a “caramel latte venti Ristretto...wet!”, a cadet receiver moonlighting recently as a barista off-campus, went in motion behind the pastry case, took advantage of a nice block by a co-worker and picked up a six-yard gain....without spilling a drop!
Joining the league of ESPN college hoops broadcasters this season is former coach Bobby Knight. Showing he’s still passionate about the game and fresh outta’ chairs, The General launched a folding microphone onto the hardwood following a bad call against Texas Tech last week!
SEASON RECAP:
Best Weekly Effort: Week Seven’s nifty 13-5!
Worst Weekly “Effort”: Week Three’s 5-12-1.
WEBER-FRIENDLIES (Best percentage on the predicted side of the spread; minimum 7 at-bats in the forecast): This season’s “You’re in Good Hands Award” goes to...drum roll, please...the Joja’ Bulldogs at 9-1-1 (.900). Second place to the Florida State Seminoles (6-1, .857; who ironically were on “watch” status following an 0-6 forecast record in 2007) and we have a tie for Honorable Mention between the Florida Gators and the Trojans of Southern Cal, both at 9-2 (.818).
FLAME-THROWERS (Worst percentage on the predicted side of ‘da spread): The bookies loved the smell of napalm in the morning... afternoon ...and night...courtesy of this year’s “Grill-Master Supreme Award” winner Texas Tech (1-9, .100...was there ever a doubt??!!). “Suckin’ Place” goes to the Large, Wooden...Badgers of Wisconsin (1-6, .142) and “Dishonorable Mention” to BYUsed Me (2-8, .250).
Below the official radar, but we’ll be watchin’: Utah (4-7, .363) and...Thursday Night (4-9, .303)!
Shoppe Talk: The Red Raiders close out the regular Shoppe season, joined by their Lone Star brethren, the Texas Longhorns, who currently own a 1-4 forecast slide!
Black Shirt: Gets pressed, starched and hung neatly in the locker of Jayhawks QB Todd Reesing, who tossed a pair of 4th Quarter touchdowns to make good on Vindy’s almost-upset pick of Kansas over Mizzou!
“Wish I Had That One Back”: Vindicator called the Texas Tech-Baylor pick mostly likely for this category!
“Locked in a Box?”: OK, there were a few more points scored than predicted (52 more, to be exact!) In the Joja’-Joja’ Tech game, but Bees made good on Vindy’s upset special and boost the lock record to 12-2 (.851)!
Vindy’s Week 9 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2-1 Season: 37-25-1 (.597)
(Hey...Vindy was a measly 20-35-1, .363 this time last year!) Slim pickin’s this week...TROY -11 over Arkansas State (and that’s all we’d consider among the unranked match-ups!)
Vindicator now gets a well-earned blow (and not a single rolled-up Benjamin to be found!), but worry not, loyal readers. The Omniscient One will return (with his PIKN genes intact) circa December 18 with this season’s version of his infamous bowl predictions! In the immortal words of game-show host Chuck Woolery...”we’ll be back in two and two!”
BOULDER, Colorado (Reuters)...”Those who can, play. Those who can’t, coach. Those who can’t coach, predict.” So goes the old adage. And for less than $150, parents can find out where their child falls in the spectrum. That’s the premise of a new DNA test that analyzes blood for the presence of ACTN3, a gene linked to top-flight athletes. The results purportedly determine if a child, between the ages of 8 and 12, will ultimately succeed as a defensive end, outfielder, goalie, offensive coordinator or even a sports-gambling tout. The test can also separate out doer from picker by detecting high levels of another enzyme, called Phosphoric Iodized Potassium Nitrate, or PIKN for short, often found in high concentrations among top-flight prognosticators. The Gaming Control Board immediately issued a statement pooh-poohing the study, noting consistent accurate prediction of sporting events against the spread involves multiple factors and years of studying trends, injuries and weather effects as well as schedule situations and individual, unit or coaching match-ups. Secretly, however, casino operators fear creation of an army of super-forecasters, which could bring the legal sportsbooks to their financial knees in the span of a single season or two.
And to think...the Vindicator gave up his childhood dream of being a member of the Egyptian Olympic cross-country ski team to instead produce things like Week 14's record of 7-6-1 (121-115-4, 513). While Vindy shakes the desert sand (and a little pyramid dust) out of his Rossignols, take a gander at...
THE WEBER KID’S 2008 CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK FORECAST
FRI. DEC. 5
MAC Championship @ Detroit, Michigan
#12 Ball State over Buffalo giving 14 1/2: Kudos to Bulls coach Turner Gill for turning a moribund football program into a seven-win, bowl-bound squad in just three seasons, but last week’s home loss to the Golden Flushes of Kent State, who had only two wins over I-A teams until that point, shows Buffalo is not ready yet to be the MAC champ. It was competitive in back-to-back losses to Central Michigan and Western Michigan, both of whom Ball State defeated (by 7 and 22, respectively). Bulls lost to the Cardinals at home by 30 in 2006 and 35 at Muncie last year... Ball State 42 Buffalo 20
SAT. DEC. 6
SEC Championship @ Atlanta, Georgia
#2 Florida over #1 Alabama giving 9 ½: But there are a couple reasons to like Alabama in its first conference crown game since 1999. Tide has allowed 9 points or less in four of last five games (but did have to go to the bonus round to drop LSU in Baton Rouge) and did something Florida didn’t...beat Ole Miss. First underdog opportunity for ‘Bama since season-opening blowout over Clemson (also on a neutral field). Florida could add to its league-leading five interceptions returned for touchdown (tied with two other teams) by pressuring John Parker-Wilson (even without a couple of injured defenders) and we can’t forget UF smashed Georgia on a neutral site. Straight-up winner has covered 8 of last 10 SEC title matches...Crocs 34 Alabama 20
Big 12 Championship @ San Antonio, Texas
#4 Oklahoma over #19 Missouri giving 17: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Right or wrong, the Sooners got the BCS nod to be here. The South representative has dominated the conference championship of late, winning and covering 5 of last 6, all as chalk. In fact, the straight-up winner has covered at least the past eleven title games and if Missouri pulls the upset, we’re launching a Congressional investigation, spearheaded by Kansas senator Sam Brownback! The Sooners smacked the Tigers here 38-17 last season and look even stronger this year, while Mizzou has been touched for 42, 56 and 40 against Illinois, Texas and Kansas...with two of those games on neutral sites. Have to think Okies could hit the 60's for the fifth consecutive game. Only knock on Oklahoma is allowing a 90-yard kickoff return for touchdown early in the 4th Quarter at Oklahoma State. Maybe the Tigers can figure out a way to have the Sooners kick the ball to them each down instead of taking snaps...Oklahoma 58 Mizzou 24
#5 Southern Cal over UCLA giving 32 1/2: Despite unconfirmed reports suggesting otherwise, we think Trojans likely locked in Charlie Weis’ plane ticket outta’ South Bend last week (and final margin woulda’ been worse had USC not suffered three interceptions). Men of Troy have a very remote shot at the big prize, but will probably face Penn State in Pasadena. We figure they’ll go out swingin’ for the fences and aren’t hesitant about scoring obscene amounts of points. Bruins beat USC 13-9 in 2006 and lost by only 14 last season, but having mustered just 6 in home loss to the Beavers and 9 last week at Arizona State, UCLA could be on the wrong end of a second shutout in 2008 ...USC 41 UCLA 0
#13 Cincinnati over HAWAII giving 7 1/2: Guess there was no reason for the Bearkats to lay the lumber to the ‘Cuse Saturday since Friday’s Pitt win over the Mounties gave UC the Big Fleeced title. Two turnovers and ten penalties didn’t help. Motivation could be an issue for Bearkats team already locked into the Orange Bowl and just enjoying a little Island sunshine. In the shadows of Boise State, Hawaii has quietly compiled nice seven-win season, including victories in six of last eight after slow 1-3 start. ‘Bows 3-2 ATS at home this year and have won four of five outright west of the Mainland. Not bad for a team that brought back just four starters on each side of the ball and introduced a new head coach. ‘Cats have covered 7 of last 9 giving points to non-conference teams...Cincy 31 UH 20
ACC Championship @ Tampa, Florida
#18 Boston College over Virginia Tech giving 1: Rematch of earlier season game in Chestnut Hill, won 28-23 by the Eagles. Hokies just 2-5 ATS in their past 7 games this year and defeat by BC lowered Tech’s spread record against the Eagles to 2-7. Neither team scoring many points, with VT breaking outta’ the 20's just once (in 35-30 win at Nebraska) and Boston College doing so just three times (once vs. I-AA Rhode Island). Tech having un-Hokie-like year defensively, holding just one FBS opponent (Duke) to single digits. Eagles limited Central Florida to a lone touchdown and pitched shutouts in three other games to-date. BC riding four-game SU win streak. We’ll go with the hotter squad, who also have revenge factor after losing ACC championship 30-16 to these Hokies last year...BC 24 Virginia Tech 20
#23 Pittsburgh over CONNECTICUT taking 2 ½: Panthers would like to return the favor after losing at home by 20 to UConn last season. Pitt just 1-3 SU/ATS last 4 vs. the Dogs, but its only road loss came at Cincinnati (by a TD). Connecticut smoked the Bearkats, but squeaked by Temple and lost to South Florida before last week’s bye. Huskies went one-and-done in only ranked appearance back in Week Six and haven’t impressed the AP voters enough to return since then. They won’t get it done this week either...Panthers 24 UConn 19
C-USA Championship @ Orlando, Florida
East Carolina over Tulsa taking 13 ½: Third appearance for Tulsa in the very short, now four-year history of the game. The previous two weren’t pleasant as Central Florida won (and covered) both (in ‘05 and ‘07). All three C-USA championships were covered by the favorite, but we think that stops this year. After nice 7-0 SU/6-1 ATS start, Golden Hurricane has slipped to 2-2/1-3 recently, including unsettling 3-point win last week at Marshall. The magic that carried the Pirates to upsets of Virginia Tech and West Virginia in its first pair of tilts of 2008 faded quickly with three consecutive outright losses in mid-October (so did the spread record, which now stands at 4-7-1). ECU is, however, on 14-4 run getting points away from home...Tulsa 35 Arrrrrgh 27
Army over Navy taking 11 (@ Philadelphia, PA): Two of country’s perennial Top Ten rushing attacks square off here. Both also rank in the Top 28 in rush defense, which should be conducive to quick, relatively low-scoring affair. While the Middies have scored 12 more rushing touchdowns than Army, it has faced only one of other option team...Air Force, whom it defeated 33-27 earlier. Keydets have only three straight-up victories, but played hard enough to cover in 16-7 loss to the Falcons and 21-17 loss at Texas A&M (who boasts its own Corps of Cadets). Army owns solid 7-3 ATS record on the season and lost by 3 to Buffalo and 7 to Rice. Middies have won 7 games (including victories over Rutgers, at Wake Forest and shutout at Northern Illinois), but are just 5-4 against the line (1-1 as chalk)...Sailors 20 Ground Pounders 13
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
It’s a little-known fact that back in the late Sixties, the Sin City Soothsayer participated in highly-classified government experiments, using the aforementioned DNA tests. Vindy’s enzyme profile pegged his only chance at a successful sports career as being one of two specific positions...waterboy for a women’s rhythmic gymnastics team or retail associate at a bobblehead doll concession stand!
Las Vegas is one of five cities where the Army is trying “coffee with a soldier”... recruiting America’s future military leaders at local coffee shops. Now we know where the Keydets get their players. If you look closely, you can see the Starbucks logo on the Black Knights’ Gatorade buckets. Talk about getting “up” for the game! Opening jitters have nothin’ to do with anxiety...it’s the iced coffee in those buckets! (Observant fans and viewers at home will also note little plastic sippy-tops on the cups!). As the signals get sent in from the sideline, the QB checks them against a tiny order-menu chalkboard strapped to his wrist! In fact, upon hearing an unsuspecting civilian rattle off his desire for a “caramel latte venti Ristretto...wet!”, a cadet receiver moonlighting recently as a barista off-campus, went in motion behind the pastry case, took advantage of a nice block by a co-worker and picked up a six-yard gain....without spilling a drop!
Joining the league of ESPN college hoops broadcasters this season is former coach Bobby Knight. Showing he’s still passionate about the game and fresh outta’ chairs, The General launched a folding microphone onto the hardwood following a bad call against Texas Tech last week!
SEASON RECAP:
Best Weekly Effort: Week Seven’s nifty 13-5!
Worst Weekly “Effort”: Week Three’s 5-12-1.
WEBER-FRIENDLIES (Best percentage on the predicted side of the spread; minimum 7 at-bats in the forecast): This season’s “You’re in Good Hands Award” goes to...drum roll, please...the Joja’ Bulldogs at 9-1-1 (.900). Second place to the Florida State Seminoles (6-1, .857; who ironically were on “watch” status following an 0-6 forecast record in 2007) and we have a tie for Honorable Mention between the Florida Gators and the Trojans of Southern Cal, both at 9-2 (.818).
FLAME-THROWERS (Worst percentage on the predicted side of ‘da spread): The bookies loved the smell of napalm in the morning... afternoon ...and night...courtesy of this year’s “Grill-Master Supreme Award” winner Texas Tech (1-9, .100...was there ever a doubt??!!). “Suckin’ Place” goes to the Large, Wooden...Badgers of Wisconsin (1-6, .142) and “Dishonorable Mention” to BYUsed Me (2-8, .250).
Below the official radar, but we’ll be watchin’: Utah (4-7, .363) and...Thursday Night (4-9, .303)!
Shoppe Talk: The Red Raiders close out the regular Shoppe season, joined by their Lone Star brethren, the Texas Longhorns, who currently own a 1-4 forecast slide!
Black Shirt: Gets pressed, starched and hung neatly in the locker of Jayhawks QB Todd Reesing, who tossed a pair of 4th Quarter touchdowns to make good on Vindy’s almost-upset pick of Kansas over Mizzou!
“Wish I Had That One Back”: Vindicator called the Texas Tech-Baylor pick mostly likely for this category!
“Locked in a Box?”: OK, there were a few more points scored than predicted (52 more, to be exact!) In the Joja’-Joja’ Tech game, but Bees made good on Vindy’s upset special and boost the lock record to 12-2 (.851)!
Vindy’s Week 9 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2-1 Season: 37-25-1 (.597)
(Hey...Vindy was a measly 20-35-1, .363 this time last year!) Slim pickin’s this week...TROY -11 over Arkansas State (and that’s all we’d consider among the unranked match-ups!)
Vindicator now gets a well-earned blow (and not a single rolled-up Benjamin to be found!), but worry not, loyal readers. The Omniscient One will return (with his PIKN genes intact) circa December 18 with this season’s version of his infamous bowl predictions! In the immortal words of game-show host Chuck Woolery...”we’ll be back in two and two!”
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