Vindy's 2013-14 Bowl Predictions Part II

 

THE WEBER KID’S 2013-14 BOWL PREDICTIONS (PART II)

(Squirtin’ more tears than Dez Bryant!)

DEC. 28

NEW ERA PINSTRIPE (@ Bronx, NY)

#25 Notre Dame (-14) over Rutgers (52): The spread-outcome basically comes down to Irish motivation. This venue is a far-cry from last season’s BCS Title game. ND lost two of three games coming in (at Pitt, at Stanford). Knights were clobbered by Louisville, Central Florida and UConn before hammering South Florida to get their qualifying victory and the invite. The Bronx ain’t far from the Jersey Turnpike, so Knights should have decent number of fans in the stands. The Leprechauns are young this year, but should be able to throw freely, as only three teams gave up more pass yards than RU (who allowed 31 passing TDs, while picking-off opposing QBs just 8 times). Knights have a 27-13 win over Iowa State and a 3-point loss to Virginia Tech in the past two post-seasons…Shamrocks 27 Rutgers 6

BELK (@ Charlotte, NC)

Cincinnati (+2 ½) over North Carolina (56 ½): Bearkats had a chance to share the AAC crown until conference-champ UCF beat SMU. A win would give UC its third-straight 10-3 season and provide Tommy Tuberville with a good debut in his first year as coach. QB Brandon Kay leads strong air-attack, including an O-line that has allowed just 12 sacks, and Cincy shows #16 scoring D in the country. Special teams are the weakness, converting just 40% of field-goal attempts and allowing 13 yards per punt–return. UNC has four punt-returns for touchdowns and isn’t horrible on either side of the ball, but its best win looks to like 34-27 victory at Pitt in mid-November. Despite swirling accusations last spring, there’s been no proof that IRS agents in Cincinnati were targeting tax-exempt status applications noting the words “kicking-tee party” for extra scrutiny!...Cincinnati 27 ‘Heels 19

RUSSELL ATHLETIC (@ Orlando, FL)

#18 Louisville (-3 ½) over Miami (56 ½): ‘Hurri-cons opened at #26 in the AP preseason poll and rose to #7 before losing stud-RN Duke Johnson. Pelicans can still post first double-digit SU victory-season since 2003 with a win over what could be a potentially over-rated Louisville team, whose only defeat came by 3 at home vs. AAC-champ UCF. Junior QB Teddy Bridgewater didn’t quite meet BCS-bowl expectations for Da’ Ville (though 28 aerial score with just 4 picks works fer us!), but could improve his 2014 Heisman stock here. UM might be motivated to do well here after keeping themselves off the bowl-grid for two years. Eight of the Redbirds’ games finished “under” da’ total, with an ninth going “over” only because of extra innings. Queue-up AC ‘cause we’re…”under-struck”!… Cardinals 27 Da’ U 17

BUFFALO WILD WINGS (Tempe, AZ)

Kansas State (-4 ½) over Michigan (56 ½): Nothing about the overall play of either side excites us. Wildcats lost by 10 to most of the ranked teams it played. Big Blew whacked Notre Dame back in September and had the Buckeyes on the ropes late in the season-ender. State was surging in the second-half, winning five of last six, while UM dropped 4 of last 5 (though by 4 or less in all four defeats) in the Big Tin Man conference and will probably not have the services of starting QB Devon Gardner (turf toe). One of KSU’s outright losses came to North Dakota State, who will play again in the FCS Championship game. This week at the cinema… Channing Tatum stars as a back-up offensive lineman who appeared to be headed for graduation without ever having his chance to protect QB Jamie Foxx during his career, but while at concession stand with his daughter, Michigan Stadium comes under siege by a visiting defense, leaving Tatum as Ann Arbor’s only hope in…Big House Down!...Purple Persians 37 Michigan 27

DEC. 30

BELL HELICOPTER ARMED FORCES (@ Ft. Worth, TX)

Middle Tennessee State (+6) over Navy (55 ½): The NCAA reversed an initial preseason decision to prohibit former-Marine Steven Rhodes from taking the field for the Blue Raiders because he played in what amounted to an intra-mural military league while serving his country. We smell movie, featuring Clint Eastwood reprising his (Shot)Gunnery-Sergeant Highway role in “Heartbreak Ridge”! No word as to whether Rhodes will be able to wear a “Full-Metal Flak Jacket” under his uniform. The Middies’ blowout of Army moved West Point to fire Coach Ellerson, who went O-fer in his five-year stay on the Hudson River vs. Navy, earlier this month and garnered yet-another Commander-in-Chief’s trophy for the Sailors. Navy is, of course, a top-five rushing team, but Raiders’ senior-heavy defense yields just 186 rushing ypg and are better-balanced on offense. As expected, Middies draw less than 3 flags/game, but State won’t beat itself either, incurring less than 5 hankies/match…Yacht Club 28 MTSU 24

FRANKLIN AMERICAN MORTGAGE MUSIC CITY (@ Nashville, TN)

Mississippi (-3) over Georgia Tech (57): Bees used their #6 running game to score 45 rushing touchdowns (though nearly a third of those came vs. FCS Elon and Alabama A&M). Tech’s defense has us leaning toward the “under” as well, defending both the run and pass with proficiency. Rebels fizzled again under the pressure of playing in I-A’s toughest division, losing at ‘Bama, at Auburn and to A&M by 3 in back-to-back-to-back weeks. Ole Miss went undefeated (and 3-0 ATS) in non-conference play this year, including romp over Texas, while ‘Jackets accounted for Duke’s only regular-season loss…Mississippi 24 GT 17

VALERO ALAMO (@ San Antonio, TX)

Texas (+13 ½) over #10 Oregon (67): Mack Brown will coach his last game for the Steers. Academic problems cost Texas one of its multi-purpose stars RB Jalen Overstreet and OT Kennedy Estelle, lost to injury, after starting the previous eight contests. Nonetheless, Longhorns, despite tumultuous season that saw the DC let go after poor defensive outing in loss to BYU and weekly speculation about Coach Mack’s future, lost two of their last three games, but held powerhouses Oklahoma State, Texas Tech and Baylor well-below their season scoring averages. Steers crawled into the previous two post-seasons as well, yet won both tilts, beating Cal 21-10 and Oregon State 31-27. Okay, Mallards ain’t da’ Bares or da’ Beavers, but defense-minded Stanford contained the Quack Attack. Jameis Winston got to keep quarterbacking the ‘Noles while facing allegations of sexual assault, but Drakes tight-end Pharoah Brown gets caught throwin’ snowballs at cars and has to watch this one from his dorm room?!...Oregon 32 Cattle 24

NATIONAL UNIVERSITY HOLIDAY (@ San Diego, CA)

#16 Arizona State (-14) over Texas Tech (71): Sun Devils, who ripped most of their opposition, had a shot at the Rose Bowl, but fell in a rematch with Stanford in the 12-PAC championship. Red Raiders, long a thorn in Vindy’s side but who grabbed honorable-mention in the Weber-Friendlies category at 7-2, were in the Top 25 for seven weeks but were apparently overrated and got blasted during 0-5 SU/ATS spiral in the second-half of the schedule. Devils will ride the big arm of QB Taylor Kelly, but will keep TTU defense honest with senior RB Marion Grice, who should get the 4 yards he needs to hit the 1K mark for the year on his first carry…ASU 44 Texas Tech 23

DEC. 31

ADVOCARE V100 (@ Shreveport, LA)

Boston College (+7) over Arizona (57 ½): UPSET PICK OF DA’ BOWLS #2. Two of the top six rushers in the country take the field here…Andre Williams for BC and Ka’Deem Carey for the Wildcats, who dropped three of four coming in, but surprised Oregon at Tucson. Eagles had won four straight to finish third behind Florida State and Clemson in the ACC Atlantic, but unexpectedly lost to Syracuse in finale. Both give up very little on the ground to opponents, but Eagles allowed 24 passing scores while getting just 9 interceptions. If it comes down to a late FG, BC kickers are perfect in 18 attempts on the year…Boston College 34 Arizona 30

HYUNDAI SUN (@ El Paso, TX)

#17 UCLA (-7 ½) over Virginia Tech (48): Key match-up here will be Bruins’ pass offense against the Hokies’ #3-ranked pass defense. UCLA staggered into last year’s bowl off consecutive losses to Stanford and floundered vs. Baylor. Perpetual-bowler Tech doesn’t possess the scoring-power of the Bears and will need to make UCLA work for its points. VT O-line did not protect QB Logan Thomas well, allowing 29 sacks vs. the team and leading to a 16 passTD-to-13 INT ratio. Hokies gave up just 10 scoring throws and pulled in 19 picks. If Bruins can jump out early, Tech isn’t prepared to catch-up. Hokies post-season tilts went to OT in each of the last two seasons (losing by 3 to Michigan in the 2011 season Sugar Bowl and beating Rutgers by 3 last year). This one won’t…UCLA 34 Beamer Ball 24

AUTOZONE LIBERTY (@ Memphis, TN)

Rice (+7) over Mississippi State (52): Charles Smith leads Rice’s potent rushing game, contributing an average of 114 yards/game to team average of 240. Rice pummeled Air Force in last year’s bowl and could see its first double-digit win tally since 2008. Owls converted 90% of their red zone opportunities into points (39 TDs, 7 FGs). Bulldogs did little in the SEC this year, but made its season by beating rival Mississippi for the third time in four seasons to be bowl-eligible. State won all four games in which it was favored in 2013, but covered just two. Owls went 8-5 against the line this year…MSU 27 Rice 24

CHICK-FIL-A (@ Atlanta, GA)

#20 Texas A&M (-12 ½) over #22 Duke (74 ½): Not sure we’d consider this season a “sophomore-jinx” for Johnny Manziel (33-13 ratio, 170+ QB rating and over 3700 passing yards), but the top three teams he beat last year exacted some revenge in 2013, leaving Aggies at 8-4 SU. As expected, 10-win Blue Devils flamed out vs. Florida State in ACC title game and will be without top rusher Jela Duncan, who got da’ boot for some kinda’ academic violation. Duke took home the prize for the 2013 men’s NCAA lacrosse tourney this past May. Already sporting pads and helmets with facemasks, given its success this year, maybe the Blue Devils gridiron squad just needed to be allowed to tote wooden sticks with small nets on ‘em onto the football field!!!...A&M 51 Duke 31

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

If a famous statue on the South Bend campus were holding a certain type of pillow, would it be “Goose-Down Jesus”??!!

A Notre Dame signee published videos of himself flushing ‘Bama recruiting letters down the john last summer, making him a pariah to all SEC schools except maybe Auburn, who would gladly have the young man change his mantra from “Play Like A Champion Today” to “War Eagle”. The appropriate response from Tuscaloosa, of course, would be a like-video showing one of the Tide’s newest members flushing a leprechaun or at least one of those Fightin’ Irish finger-puppets!

Regarding the above Armed Forces Bowl…are Navy-backers pleading…Fleets don’t fail me now! Go brig or go home!

Last January, Maria Sharapova was reportedly pullin’ in big bucks on a half-million dollar investment in Sugarpova candy. Great. Another future corporate bowl-sponsor.

Prior to last week’s Hawaii Bowl, Boise State sent QB Joe Southwick packin’ from the Islands for violating teams rules (Southwick later claimed to be innocent of urinating off a hotel balcony, but saw another player do so. His claim was backed up by a polygraph test). Alone on one of those outrigger-catamarans, Joe oughta’ be just-about  reachin’ the West Coast in time to watch the ball drop on New Year’s Eve!

In June, the Cowboys replaced OC Jason Garrett with Bill Callahan. Given the results, we wonder if it’s closer to Brad Garrett being replaced by Harry Callahan!!!

Anybody else out there wanna’ see Mike Myers reprise his British-spy role and go undercover as a pro-hockey net-minder between da’ pipes to thwart Dr. Evil’s plan to destroy the NHL in…”Austin Powers in Goaltender”.

Vindy’s Bowl Best Bets Part II:       

Louisville-Miami “under” 56 ½ , Mississippi-Georgia Tech “under” 57, Texas +13 ½ over Oregon, Texas A&M-Duke “over” 74 ½

We'll be back before the ball drops on New Year's Eve with Part III

 

 

Vindy's 2013 Bowl Predictions Part I

NEVADA FOOTBALL TEAMS TO TEST DRONES

CARSON CITY, Nevada (REUTERS)…As employment of drones shifts from military to commercial purposes, Governor Brian Sandoval has the Silver State established as a research-site for use in the sports-arena. Nevada-Reno, UNLV and Vegas high-school powerhouse Bishop Gorman will all try out drones in an officiating capacity during their games next season. The plan allows referees, back-judges and other officials to view the field via the airborne vessels while also maintaining a safe distance from the playing field. NCAA and Nevada high school sports administrators are excited about the opportunity, but do admit difficulties in training officiating crews to operate and fly the unmanned vehicles, noting a few unfortunate incidents involving collisions with the uprights during field-goal attempts and extra-point tries, in addition to one unsuccessful effort by a side-judge to get his assigned drone to retrieve an order of nachos from the concession-stand during a TV time-out!

Navy never trailed vs. Army in snowy Philadelphia, but didn’t secure the cover until late 4th Quarter before tacking on one more TD in the closing minute, improving our season record to 127-113-4 (.529). In related news, the NSA and other worldwide agencies reportedly have the capability to bust any given cellphone encryption, but they’ll never break our Captain Marvel secret-decoder ring version of…

THE WEBER KID’S 2013-14 BOWL PREDICTIONS (PART I)
(Stockpiling “indisputable video surveillance evidence” as we speak!)

DEC. 21
GILDAN NEW MEXICO (@ Albuquerque, NM) (over/under in parentheses)
Washington State (-4 ½) vs. Colorado State (66): LOCK OF DA’ BOWLS. Coogs covered 9 of 11 in FBS competition (though just three times as chalk) behind a huge passing game (nearly 4200 aerial yards for starting QB Connor Halliday alone and #4 nationally as a team). Rams are balanced on offense, but only 7 teams yielded more passing yards than CSU and only three of their wins suggest a big-enough lead was secured early enough for opponents to give-up on the run. Second-year coach Mike Leach’s Air-Raid offense has da’ Cougars bowlin’ for first time since 2003. Also-sophomore-coach Jim McElwain has taken CSU to their first post-season op since 2008, despite 7 tilts away from the friendly-confines, and toward their first 8-or-more victory campaign since Rams recorded 10-4 in 2002. We don’t normally make ourselves lock-vulnerable this early in the bowl-season, much-less right from da’ git-go, but…Cougars 44 Rams 27

ROYAL PURPLE LAS VEGAS (@ Vegas, Baby!)
#21 Fresno State (+6) over Southern Cal (62): UPSET PICK OF DA’ BOWLS #1. We wonder if the Bulldogs have taken solace in knowing that Northern Illinois didn’t get a BCS bowl either. Troy can’t be too disappointed to be here after the tumultuous season that has them taking the field under their third coach in nine games (with Steve Sarkisian’s reign yet-to-come). USC won 9 of 13 outright, but was a coin-toss ATS. We salute the Trojans for being one of the few teams that did not face at least one AA-squad. They’ve lost 5 of previous 6 vs. the Top 25, surprising Stanford but faltering badly vs. rival Bruins. Fresno’s covered 3 of last 4 after horrible 1-6 ATS start and have just the one ugly defeat that kept them from a much bigger bowl. That said, we note FSU’s only BCS conference foe this season was Rutgers, whom it beat 52-51 in OT to begin the 2013 campaign. Senior QB Derek Carr would like to finish his NCAA career with a good showing, but State’s been schooled by SMU and NIU in its previous pair of post-season outings. Both teams will draw fans to Sin City from destinations not far-away, but think of the seats they’d fill if this venue was the… Royal “Purple Drank” Bowl Presented by Jolly Rancher! Best guess for “wish I had it back”, but covering-underdogs tend to win a bunch of bowls SU…Fresno 38 USC 34

FAMOUS IDAHO POTATO (@ Boise, ID)
Buffalo (-1) over San Diego State (53): Buffaloed by turnovers the past four seasons, the Bulls, who put da’ kibosh on Northern Illinois’ shot at BCS-buster, have gotten the breaks they needed and enter this game at +16! Confirming that statistical-turnaround is a defense ranked #27 nationally and 2nd in da’ MAC Conference, yielding about 22 ppg (including 40 by the Buckeyes and…GASP!...70…by Baylor) and limiting opponents to less than 73% success in the red zone. Offensively, Bulls showcase RB Brandon Oliver, with over 1400 rushing yards and QB Joe Licata, with more than 2600 pass yards and a 21-7 pass TD-to-INT ratio. The lone standout for the Aztecs, who lost their season-opener to FCS Eastern Illinois 40-19 (Panthers did enter Championship Division playoffs as the #2 seed with 12-1 SU record, losing only at Northern Illinois by 4, but fell in the quarter-finals to #7 Towson) and could’ve de-railed UNLV’s bowl-journey to end the regular-season, but lost by 26, is RB Adam Muema, who eclipsed 1000 ground yards and accounted for 12 scores. The knock on Buffalo is the FG-unit, which produced only a dozen threes in 19 tries…Bulls 27 Sudzu 17

R&L CARRIERS NEW ORLEANS (@ Nawlins, LA)
TULANE (-2) over Louisiana-Lafayette (49): Green Wave will host this one on its homefield. Cajuns shared the Stun Belt title with Arkansas State, but stagger in here off back-to-back losses…to Weeziana- Monroe and South Alabama (in poor, turnover-prone outing leading to 30-8 defeat). UL-Laugh-at-us tore-up tickets regularly, going lousy 3-8 ATS in I-A competition and yielded 30 or more to 7 opponents. Nonetheless, conference commish Karl Benson proudly proclaimed the Sun Belt went 6-1 outright in 2013 vs. teams from C-USA, Mountain Jest and Big MAC conferences. Tulane put just two games in the dubya-column last year, but conversely has rewarded backers to tune of 8-2 (7-0 run) and will try to exact some revenge for 2012’s 41-13 drubbing. Wave lost by 4 at C-USA champion Rice in latest 1-3 SU skid and is cashing tickets with a stout-D (#19 nationally) because the offense ranks in the 90’s, ahead of just 4 bowlers in passing and just 6 bowlers in rushing yards. It’s been noted that the past eight Nawlins Bowls have finished above the total. Lafayette lit the lamp for an average of 39 ppg (ignoring 14 point tally in opener at Arkansas and 70 vs. AA Nicholls State the following week) prior to aforementioned game vs. USA Jaguars. Using Benson’s comments as bulletin-board material, we see the win and cover going to…Tulane 34 UL-That French Guy 24

DEC. 23
BEEF O’ BRADY’S ST. PETERSBURG (St. Petersburg, FL)
Ohio (+13 ½) over East Carolina (61 ½): Bobblecats will need a big day from sack-leader freshman Tarell Basham (6.5 sacks) vs. QB Tyler Tettleton, who leads a pass-first offense for da’ Buccos. ECU averages 40+ points per game, and despite a November power-outage that saw just 16 points in a bad three-game loss-sequence at Buffalo, at Bowling Green and vs. Kent State, OU still hit the board for 28 per contest. Both feature experienced backfields and neither will beat itself via penalties or turnovers. Both sides limit opponent-scoring, but we lean toward a slight “over”. ECU was rolling until losing by 31 vs. conference-runner-up Marshall. ‘Cats beat the Herd at home 34-31. Keep calm and Carolina-on, but…Arrrrrgh 34 Bobblecats 30

DEC. 24
SHERATON HAWAII (Honolulu, HI)
Boise State (+2 ½) over Oregon State (65): We’d rather just watch this one than pick it, in fact you’ll see the “over” noted as one of our best bets. Broncos went “mere” 8-4 SU with just 9 total returning starters, including opening 38-6 loss at UDUB. Perhaps that game was a harbinger of Chris Petersen’s recent departure, following 7 straight years of double-digit win-seasons. Broncos have won four consecutive post-season outings, covering 3 and are in good hands with either Joe Southwick or capable back-up Grant Heddick. Beavers enter this one on the back of a tow-truck, having lost five straight games to close the year. QB Sean Mannion leads pass-heavy offense with over 4400 yards and own Biletnikoff Award-winning WR Brandin Cooks, but tossed 11 picks in the aforementioned demise. Beavers also allow almost 200 ground yards/game and BSU runs for almost 5 ypc and 32 scores. ORSU succeeded in the red zone only 78% of the time and BSU is one of the least penalized teams in the country…Boise State 41 Oregon State 34

DEC 26
LITTLE CAESARS PIZZA (Detroit, MI)
Bowling Green (-5) over Pittsburgh (51): Panthers were expected to accomplish little in inaugural year of their new conference…and did. Despite a few scattered losses, Falcons kept Northern Illinois from a big-money bowl and while young on offense/experienced on the stop-squad, BeeGees’ 19 returning starters continued to reward bettors, beating the line in nine of a dozen attempts in I-A competition (15-4 ATS the past two seasons). MO belongs to BGU, on 5-0/5-0 run since 3-point home loss to Toledo and they’ll revel in banging a floundering team from an AQ conference. “Under” is the first choice here as Bowlin’ Green comes in at #6 nationally in scoring D, giving up less than 15 ppg (an accomplishment of note given high-scoring MAC)…Birds 24 Pitt 7

SAN DIEGO COUNTY CREDIT UNION POINSETTIA (@ San Diego, CA)
Utah State (+1 ½) over #24 Northern Illinois (57 ½): Huskies were seriously looking for fans to throw somethin’ other than pizza-crusts on the field following MAC Championship and expected better bowl SWAG than free extra-toppings on their post-bowl slices! Quoting Robin Thicke’s hit Blurred Lines …it always works for meeeeee…DeKalb down to Decatur”. USU has more to prove, though engaged sloppy Fresno State in a defensive battle. We could easily see USU luring NIU into a similar web unless dual-threat QB Jordan Lynch wants to improve his draft-status here, but he’ll have a couple of Blue-Grey/East-West bowls to impress NFL scouts. Sled Dogs, in sixth straight post-season appearance, have won just two of last five bowl chances...Utah State 27 Northern Illinois 24

DEC 27
MILITARY BOWL PRESENTED BY NORTHRUP GRUMMAN (@ Annapolis, MD)
Marshall (-2 ½) over Maryland (61 ½): Second choice for “lock”. Terps, who were inconsistent all season, don’t have the physical running game that Rice used to upset Herd in the CUSA title match. Marshall fields a QB with over 3500 pass yards, who’s just a junior and played in all 13 games, as well as a RB with 1000- yards and a WR over 100 yards. Collectively, the two teams allow about 48 ppg total, so we’d lean a bit toward an “under”. Turtles QB CJ Brown threw for over 200 yards but shows middlin’ 11 TD-to-6 INT ratio and is also the team’s second-leading rusher. Maryland’s playing in an in-state venue, but we don’t anticipate much of a partisan-crowd advantage, given 7-5 SU record and 5th-place finish in its division. Herd gets redemption for conference- championship failure by belting an ACC also-ran…Herd 31 Terrapins 20

TEXAS (@ Houston, TX)
Minnesota (-4 ½) over Syracuse (47): Gophers have seemingly drawn strength from ill-stricken coach Jerry Kill en route to solid 8-4 SU season (4-4 in the Big Tentacle Conference), including a healthy four-game mid-season win-streak. Gilded Gerbils have also been kind to betting-supporters, beating the number 9 times in 11 tries vs. the I-A schedule. On the downside, Minny scored a total 10 points over final pair of regular-season games in losses to Wisconsin and conference-champion Michigan State. They do however take on a Syracuse team that posted its best victory in 34-31 home win over Boston College to get eligible for the post-season, but struggled behind a new offense, scoring less than 16 ppg in ACC play. Minnesota went 4-0 ATS this year as the favorite…Gophers 24 Orange Peels 12

FIGHT HUNGER (@ San Francisco, CA)
Brigham Young-Washington (-3) “under” 60:Sorry, Sportsfans! We just can't commit to a side, so we’ll rest our helmets on a total. After winning four consecutive games, Sled Dogs have gone 3-4 (1-5-1 ATS in that slide). Mormons have won and covered four straight post-season trips, twice as underdogs. Huskies boast senior QB Keith Price and junior RB Bishop Sankey in the backfield, showing excellent 24-7 pass-TD to-INT ratio and 243 rush yards per tilt. But UDUB hasn’t faced a really-good D. While putting up more than 31 ppg itself behind great rushing offense (almost 3300 total, average of 275 per game), defense is BYU’s calling card, allowing just 9 rushing scores to-date and 18 passing scores, while snaring 12 picks…Washington 24 BYU 21

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

BTW, officials will no longer blow whistles to stop play, but rather will launch Hellfire missiles onto the gridiron, leading coaches to instruct their athletes to “play to the sound of the explosion!” And with the press of a button, the drones will drop penalty flags from high above the stadium, creating yet-another hazard for players, coaches and fans below!

Somehow, we neglected to include these in our Army-Navy prediction, so…Army…“It’s all about the Private Benjamins!” and…

This past summer, former Iraq War vet-turned-Arizona Cardinals-cheerleader, Megan Walter, was accused of opening up a can of whoop-ass on her boyfriend. We’re told the ex-2nd Lieutenant “Cable Platoon Leader”/still-U.S. Army reservist called-in an artillery-strike on her ex-beau’s residence, right after cancelling his access to pay-channels like HBO and Showtime!

Larry, Moe and Curly take-on the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future in “The Three Scrooges”!

Miley Cyrus was a featured artist at the iHeartRadio’s Jingle Ball at Madison Square Garden on Friday, December 13. Did she come in “like a wreckin’ basketball”??!!! Robin Thicke also performed his hit “Blurred Lines”. Anybody else think this could be a prime music-video for hockey games…during mandatory reviews of all goals scored?… “I always wanted a good goallllllllll!”. “The way you touch me…must wanna’ get nasty…come on, get at me…(players fighting/dropping gloves)”. “Can’t let it get past me…” (Goalies making save…or not). “I feel so lucky…ya wanna’ puck me…what rhymes with puck me?!” “Baby, can ya Breeeeeathe (video of someone wearin’ a goalie-mask)?...I got this in Jamaica…It always works for meeeeee…Dearborne to Decatur…”

NCAA officiating crews who’ve had all they can stomach of the commercialization of the Christmas season will invoke a fictitious Seinfeld holiday and replace goal-posts and yard-markers with plain, undecorated aluminum Festivus poles!

Not really trying to be clever or humorous here…just us wondering aloud how Major League Baseball plans to reduce the chances of injuries due to home-plate collisions. We’d foresee either some line, etc., at which the base-runner would have to initiate a slide or be automatically called out (enforced by laser or time-machine portal?) or perhaps some NHL-like trapezoid, in which contact with the catcher is taboo and getting in the way of the runner beyond that perimeter instantly concedes a run-scored?

Black Shirt: We sent this week’s tee to the Quartermaster Corps to include some nice steam-pressed creases for Army DL Robert Kough for drawing one of three (count ‘em, three!) very-uncharacteristic personal-foul penalties for unnecessary-roughness, with Navy facing a 3rd-and-6, which extended the drive, resulting in a Middies touchdown, en route to the Ensigns’ eventual 34-7 win!

Vindy’s Bowl Best Bets Part I: Last Week: 0-0 Season: 48-29-1 (.623)
Buffalo -1 over San Diego State, Oregon State-Boise State “over” 65 ½, Bowling Green-Pitt “under” 51, Marshall -2 ½ over Maryland

It’s da’ mossssssst wonderbowl tiiiiiime of…da’ yearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!! To all our loyal readers, we extend the annual holiday greeting…”Pass on Earth. Goodwill toward linemen.” And “have yerself a Vindy little Christmas …!”

We’ll be back around December 27 with Part Deux of da’ bowl picks!

Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re gonna’ try to determine which of the gift-wrapped presents under our tree contains the highly-coveted bearded Duck Dynasty Barbie and da’ Big Hugs Elmo Chia-Pet, before poorly-decorating one of our Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action-figures in an effort to win the local “ugly Shredder contest”! (Oh wait…!)

2013 Vindy's Picks Army-Navy

NFL TIME-OUT GOES AWRY

PHILADELPHIA, Pa. (MSNBC)…With as much as eight inches of snow on any noted part of Lincoln Financial Field in the 4th Quarter this past Sunday, Detroit coach Jim Schwartz called a time-out following a 98-yard kickoff return for six to give his players additional opportunity to kick-away the white stuff with their cleats and clear a stable area for David Akers’ point-after try. The kick was ultimately blocked, contributing to what had to have been a record number of attempted two-point conversions (or what the Oregon Ducks call “any given Saturday”). During the post-loss interview, Schwartz said if he’d thought it through, he “would have instructed players to do snow-angels or grab Akers by his ankles and use him as a snow-plow!”

Meanwhile, in chilly-but-flake-less (snowflakes…we’re talkin’ snowflakes!) Sin City, from the safety of our own couch and warmth of the artificial video-display fireplace, we compiled the second of our back-to-back 7-3 Championship Week forecasts (126-113-4,.527). This Saturday, we’ll don the camouflage, microwave the MREs and strap on the rucksack full of…

THE WEBER KID’S 2013 ARMY-NAVY FORECAST
(Getting better grades than the 91st Missile Wing at Minot AFB!)

Navy (-10) over Army (55) (@ Philadelphia, PA):Middies are 7-4 SU, with two of the losses by 1 at Toledo and by 4 in the shadow of Touchdown Jesus in South Bend. Their best victories are perhaps the 41-35 win at Indiana to open the year and most recently in triple-extras by 58-52 at San Josie prior to the break. Navy has been kind to betting-backers, going 7-3 ATS vs. FBS competition. Including this season’s triumph over USAF, the Admirals have knocked-off other military schools 20 times in the last 22 tries, including 11 consecutive years over Army. On the downside, Midshipmen have gone just 1-3 against the number in the past four contests of this series (layin’ about a touchdown in each of the past three); winning by 14, 14, 6 and 4 last year. Nine of the Sailors’ wins in the eleven-year streak have been by 12 or more. Argonauts have been poor bets following time off, failing to cover 5 of last 6 with rest. Ensigns’ rush D has basically deteriorated, making no improvement or giving up an increasing number of ground-yards, in each of the past three years. Army’s chant in the 2012 pre-game huddle was “Re-Write It!”. The Soldiers had a chance to do just that last year, but were sloppy, and turned it over (again!) with a fumble at USN’s 15-yard-line late, on what coulda’ been the game-winning drive for the Keydets. That Platoon played some solid run-D and forced the Middies receivers into making some nifty catches, while being led on offense by four-year starter QB Trent Steelman, who’s now moved-on. Army posted just three outright victories this year and a two-TD loss at Air Force, the only I-A victory for the Falcons this season, and has now lost 19 of its last 21 facing the other military schools. Losses by 4 vs. Western Kentucky and by 7 at Hawaii notwithstanding, the Black Knights defeats came by 14 or more. Seven of the West Pointers’ games have finished below this total, while only four of the Armada’s contests ended up below this number. On the basis of a more-veteran (no pun intended) backfield, superior red-zone offense/defense and a better turnover-margin, unless the Infantry can pick-off a few errant throws, we figure Army will have to cover on defense, and we don’t think so…Da’ Fleet 31 Army 14

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

BTW, Vindy woulda’ also called the time-out in the situation above, but only for purposes of hastily building a player ice-sculpture as an extra blocker (which would’ve drawn a flag for “twelve snowmen on da’ field”!)

A naval cruiser ended up in dry-dock late last month after “accidentally” being hit by a drone, leading to just a few cosmetic injuries, near San Diego in mid-November. Air Force Academy officials couldn’t be reached for comment (nor could Amazon!), but Vindy’s spies say the Flight-Platoon hatched the scheme to de-rail the Middies’ quest for yet-another Commander-in-Chief’s Trophy!

Former Colorado Buffaloes SLASH Pittsburgh Steelers stand-out Kordell Stewart finalized his divorce this month. He got hosed, while she got da’ house SLASH da’ kids SLASH da’ car SLASH…well…you get the picture!

This Saturday night on NBC…an angel shows a famous Major League baseballer what life woulda’ been had he never existed in…”Ichiro’s a Wonderful Life”!

Oh the shame! With the kNucklehead Freakin’ Rodeo in Sin City this past week, the Las Vegas Review-Journal ran an article about fantasy rodeo and how a $40K vehicle goes to the winner of said-endeavor! The 2014 Winter (is Coming) Olympics are on the horizon. If you’ll excuse us, we need to go review the mock-drafts for our fantasy curling and fantasy rhythmic-gymnastics teams!!!!!

Black Shirt: Has been Fed-Ex’d to Bearkats QB Brandon Kay for tossing three straight incompletions in OT from the Louisville 14-yard-line to secure the Cardinals’ 6-point win and cover, starting Vindy on his way to the 7-3 forecast! Honorable mention to da’ Rice Owls’ defense, who kept Marshall pretty-much under wraps until the 4th Quarter, validatin’ our “upset pick of da’ week”!

“Locked in a Box?”: Bane-of-our-existence Fresno State covered the line, as predicted, despite five (count ‘em, five!) turnovers vs. USU, evening the lock tally at 7-7-1 (.500) and giving us our 4th correct lock in the last 5 tries!

Shoppe Talk: Oklahoma (now 3-9, .250) took us out behind our own woodshed, upsetting Oklahoma State. We’re stuffin’ Huskies this week too after Northern Illinois (2-6, .250) fell to Bowling Green!

Vindy’s Army-Navy Best Bets: none Last Week: 0-3 (OUCH!) Season: 48-29-1 (.623)

Don’t touch that dial! We’ll be back circa December 20 with Part One of our infamous bowl predictions!

Vindy's Picks 2013 Championship Week

GUBERNATORIAL PIGSKIN PROCLAMATION NOT WITHOUT REPERCUSSIONS

COLUMBUS, Ohio (UPI)…On the eve of the Buckeyes’ annual rivalry-match on the road against the Wolverines last week, Ohio governor John Kasich signed-off on legislation putting in place “Scarlet Letter Saturday” and implored the citizens of the state to boycott the letter “M”, as in “Michigan”. The well-meant effort actually produced unintended consequences, generating ripples across the country. Locally, the collegiate football squad found itself located in “Colubus”, Ohio…leading campus mythology professors to draw comparisons to Clash of the Titans-miscreant/deformed-creature “Calibos”, and the sidelining of the usual head coach in favor of some guy named Urban Eyer, who started the pre-game locker-room speech by noting there’s no “M” in “team” and promised to beat “that tea up north!” Officials did express concern for safety when the Buckeyes took the field wearing helmets with…face-asks!

We lit a whole box of wooden-stick matches, but last week’s 8-10 (119-110-4, .520) outing never did set-off the airplane-restroom’s smoke-alarm. In fact, that “mile-high club” membership we expected was supplanted by a visit from the covert air-marshal instead, so we’re just gonna’ support restoration of the entirety of the alphabet, or at least the Greek one, nation-wide with…

THE WEBER KID’S 2013 CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK FORECAST
(Knockin’ precocious 5th-graders outta’ spelling-bees everywhere!)

THURS. DEC. 5
#19 Louisville (-3) over CINCINNATI: A probable battle of bridesmaids looking to be Matron-of-Honor behind UCF in the AAC. Winner here will root for SMU to pull off the upset over the Golden Knights on Saturday in order to share the championship with the Golden Knights. .. Cardinals 21 Bearkats 16

FRI. DEC. 6
MAC Championship (@ Detroit, MI)
#16 Northern Illinois (-3) over Bowling Green: We like what the Falcons have done this season, despite three outright losses that came at Indiana (by 32), at Mississippi State (by 1) and home vs. Toledo (by 3). Huskies get the BCS berth with a victory and first perfect regular season in five decades. Bee Gees in first conference title game, while NIU enters fourth straight (either 0-3 or 0-2-1 ATS, depending on whose numbers ya look at). ‘Dogs giving up more points to opponents than Falcons, but posted season-low of 14 last week vs. WMU. Northern Illinois belted MAC-contender Ball State. Good enough for us to call the cover for…NIU 27 Bowling Green 17

SAT. DEC. 7
ACC Championship (@ Charlotte, NC)
#1 Florida State (-29) over #20 Duke: It’s “win and in” da’ National Title game for the Tribe. We’ve previously questioned FSU’s motivation to keep scoring, but to no avail and have several forecast losses because of it. ‘Noles’ QB Jameis Winston perseveres in the wake of allegations from last December, but it’s “not his first rodeo” with law enforcement. The Heisman-candidate was apparently charged with stealin’ soda from a fast-food restaurant last summer. What folks don’t know is that the Burger King-in-question was in New York City and the Big Apple’s finest were more-concerned that the player was in possession of a cup of said-beverage that exceeded the ounce-limit than the fact he was actually pilfering it! Much respect for Duke, who got a 99-yard kickoff return for a score and the game-winning FG late in the 4th Quarter (validating one of our two “upset” picks of da’ week!) and its eighth consecutive victory (ten altogether), but magic-carpet ride ends here…FSU 48 Blue Beezelbubs 14

Big Ten Championship (@ Indianapolis, IN)
#10 Michigan State (+5) over #2 Ohio State: Do ya think Urban Meyer hasn’t pointed-out Alabama’s foibles vs. Auburn all week to his charges???!!! Coach will allow both OSU players (one of whom is a starter) ejected from coulda’-been-loss to Michigan fer throwin’-down to take the field in this one. Officials of the Big Tannenbaum Conference also refused to issue fines/suspensions/detention/2000-word essays to the Buckeyes-in-question for this one too. We smell conspiracy and think the conference wants OSU to be armed with all its faculties, given the potential opportunity to take home the BCS Trophy. Two straight seasons of perfection could come to a crashing halt here for Ohio State. Braxton Miller drew POY honors again, but he’ll face a mighty-fine Michigan State defense that has no qualms about winning-fugly!...Ohio State 17 MSU 16

SEC Championship (@ Atlanta, GA)
#5 Missouri (+1 ½) over #3 Auburn: Are ya kiddin’ us????!!! Auburn????!!! We ain’t seen the provision of that many divine-gifts to a single entity since…well…since the hero of the flick we referenced in our lead-story above! Tigers are mere seconds away from 9-3 instead of 11-1 and oughta’ be buying Powerball tickets right about now! Come to think of it, we noticed the pre-game, playing-field fly-by was made not by the traditional War Eagle, but rather by a golden, mechanical owl named Bubo! (Non-film-buffs/mythology-aficionados can Google that one!). Mizzou gets a look for the Big Show…Missouri 27 Auburn 20

#4 Alabama: IDLE (next…da’ bowls!) Tide floundered early, but scored a passing TD mid-second quarter following an Auburn turnover, to which we heard Mrs. Claus in the Year Without a Santa Claus respond, “Now thaaaat’s my ‘Bama!”

#6 OKLAHOMA STATE (-10) over #18 Oklahoma: The Big 12 Championship is the Cowboys’ to lose. We don’t consider Sooners’ minor upset of Kansas State prior to the bye enough to think they can hang with State. We’ve seen the rivalry games among the Top 25 go the dogs ATS, with one upset (Auburn over ‘Bama) and a pair of near-ones (Michigan and Oregon State each losing by one to the Buckeyes and Ducks, respectively). Sooners have taken two of last three, sandwiching wins around 34-point blowout loss here in 2011. OKSU, 9-1 ATS as home fave vs. the I-A schedule, buried sloppy Bears, as well as the other two ranked foes…Texas and Texas Tech. Oklahoma D will need a huge game. In the 2013 edition of Bedlam, it’s…Oklahoma State 35 Boomer-Spooner 17

PAC-12 Championship (@ Stanford, CA)
#7 STANFORD (+3 ½) over #11 Arizona State: ASU 29 Trees 27

#8 South Carolina: IDLE (next…da’ bowls!)

#9 BAYLOR (-14) over #23 Texas: Not unlike Thursday night’s Louisville-Cincinnati tilt, winner here gets the Big 12 championship in the event of an upset in the Oklahoma-OKSU game. Baylor narrowly-dodged a second straight defeat last week, at the hands of TCU, when the D picked off a Casey Pachall toss in the end zone with seconds to play that would’ve given the Toads the win despite four of their own turnovers and 15 hankies vs. the Bears. Steers do get the benefit of two extra days rest/practice off big Turkey Day victory over Texas Tech and two of last three years have been decided by single-digits, but Bears’ margin-of-victory over common-opponents has been substantially-better and RB Lache Seastrunk almost hit the century-mark in rushing yards his first game back from injury. Texas is in the lower-half of the conference in rushing defense. Bears top the Big 12 in ground yards and rushing touchdowns. ‘Horns have been a crapshoot as road-dogs the last three seasons and we expect a little more discipline from the Bears this week in Waco. Even if Bears take the field knowing the Cowboys own the conference crown…Baylor 41 Texas 20

#12 Oregon: IDLE (next…da’ bowls!)

#13 Clemson: IDLE (next…da’ bowls!)

#14 LSU: IDLE (next…da’ bowls!)

#15 Central Florida @ SMU (OFF): Knights, despite turning it over five times vs. South Florida (following near-flawless-victory over Rutgers the previous week), already own a piece of the inaugural AAC crown and can put the hardware in their trophy case all to themselves with a victory, which also sends them to a BCS berth, a year after the OT loss in the C-USA conference championship to Tulsa.

#17 UCLA: IDLE (next…da’ bowls!)

#21 Wisconsin: IDLE (next…da’ bowls!)

#22 Texas A&M: IDLE (next…da’ bowls!)

Mountain West Championship
#24 FRESNO STATE (-3) over Utah State: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Bulldogs host this one by virtue of having the best overall record of the two clubs. FSU may start slow after taking the guesswork outta’ the BCS buster slot last week. In the second-half, it was all San Josie, who finished with three receivers at 140 receiving yards or better. Like the recent U.S. violation of newly-claimed Chinese airspace, SJSU’s ongoing intrusion was met with basically no response. USU is 7-4 ATS with close losses at Utah (by 4) and at USC (by 3), but also showing double-digit home defeats to BYU and Boise State…Fresno 41 Aggies 34

#25 Georgia: IDLE (next…da’ bowls!)

C-USA Championship
RICE (+5) over Marshall: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. Owls got the home-field ad via the BCS rankings, with both squads finishing 7-1 in conference play and 9-3 overall. From a betting-perspective, we’ve cashed and trashed tickets with each side. All three of Rice’s outright losses have come to teams hailing from the Lone Star State [A&M, Houston, North Texas] and all on hostile or neutral ground. Herd’s three in the “L”-column came at Ohio, at Virginia Tech and at Middle Tennessee. Marshall’s been flaunting the offense in its victories, though held six opponents to teens or less. Owls prefer defensive-battle, all limiting six foes to less than 20, but overall restricting other teams to more-reasonable number of points than Marshall. Herd dominates the pace, but last-laugh goes to…Rice 41 Marshall 37

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

BTW, some Ohio State locals took the initiative to substitute another letter for “M” in day-to-day tasks, leading a few people to wash their clothes at the nearby laundry-cat and shop at Wal-Cart! In addition, attorneys representing the James Bond movie-series, Sesame Street and The Wizard of Oz have filed formal protests/lawsuits vs. the Ohio politician for discrimination, as well as “pain-and-suffering”! Neither a certain well-known rapper nor the manufacturer of a popular chocolate-covered candy returned Vindy’s attempted-calls for comment!

And in a nod to last week’s lead story, we admit that Vindy’s Picks were featured in the catalog for… SkyMall!

We don’t remember the name of the player-beneficiary, but Auburn had someone on the sideline putting a name on a jersey with a sewing-machine. Given the ultimate outcome of the game, we expect an entire battalion of Singer machines down the whole Auburn sideline this week, right next to the Tigers Gatorade buckets!

Brooklyn Nets coach Jason Kidd got his wallet lightened by fitty-grand for basically-intentionally spillin’ a soft-drink on the court during the recent game vs. the Lakers. Wait’ll he gets the fine from Mayor Bloomberg’s office for also exceeding the ounce-limit. (BTW, no truth to da’ rumor that James Winston illegally-swiped Coach’s soda for him from the concession stand!)

We briefly mentioned the “’dogs howl week” in last week’s NIU-WMU analysis. Sure enuff…teams getting points covered 14 of the 18 Top 25 games! If yer scorin’ at home, you know we backed favorites in 10 of those 18!

Shortly after close-of-business on Monday, the independent accounting firm that tallies the votes (or at least some newbie intern at the Worldwide Leader) will know who won the Heisman Trophy. Several months from now, we may all know how many cartons of cigarettes ya can trade for said-hardware in a correctional facility!

Longtime Superman-proponent Cam Newton busted-out out a pair of cleats bearing Batman logos prior to Panthers’ 27-6 win over Tampa Bay on Sunday. Said head coach Ron Rivera after his team recorded an eighth-straight victory, “I don’t care if his pre-game waffle-irons pay tribute to Wonder Woman, Zatanna or Hawk-Girl, as long as we keep winnin’!” BTW, Vindy’s spies caught Cam viewing game-film of the Watchmen’s Silk Spectre this week!

Did anyone else out there watchin’ the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade see the irony of the NYC Police Department marching band performing a tune from “Rocky”, which was of course, filmed in Philadelphia rather than the Big Apple????!!! Appreciating the shameless plug, the City of Brotherly Love agreed to reciprocate and have one of the participating string-bands perform a rousing version of “New York, New York” during the annual Mummers’ Parade on New Year’s Day!

SEASON RECAP

Best Weekly Effort: Week Two’s 8-5 (.613) wins percentage-wise over Week One’s 11-8 (.579)

Worst Weakly “F”-fort: Weak Eight’s 7-13 (.350…Uggggggggh!)

WEBER-FRIENDLIES (Best percentage on the predicted side of the spread; minimum 7 at-bats in the forecast): This year’s Allstate “Yer in Good Hands” award goes to (drumroll, please)…Central Florida (7-0, 1.000), Second-Place to Notre Dame (7-1, .875) and Honorable Mention to Texas Tech (7-2, .778)

FLAME-THROWERS (Worst percentage on the predicted side of the spread): Vindy wants a new wallet fer Christmas ‘cuz ya can still see the scorch-marks courtesy of Grill-Master Supreme award-winner South Carolina (2-7, .222)! Suckin’ Place goes to runner-up…Michigan (2-6, .250), and Dishonorable Mention to the Spooners of Oklahoma (3-8, .278), who nearly went first-to-worst after grabbing the 2012 “Yer in Good Hands” award!

Didn’t make da’ cut, but we’ll be watchin’: Fresno State was one trip to da’ plate shy of Grill-Master Supreme at 0-6 (.000). Also on the radar… Northern Illinois (2-5, .286) and Clemson (3-7, .300)!

Thanks for playing: Stay in touch next season… Missouri (5-1, .833), Florida (6-2, .750) and Joja’ (5-2-1, .714)!

Black Shirt: Goes to Blue Devils kicker Ross Martin for previously-noted late 22-yard FG that gave Duke the win, the cover and the “upset pick of da’ week”. Vindicator dons his own honorary ebony-undergarment for calling the exact 27-20 final score for Stanford’s triumph over the Irish!

“Locked in a Box?”: Baylor’s 3-point win at TCU drops the tally to 6-7-1 (.461).

Shoppe Talk: Patrons are askin’ “How much are those stuffed-Bulldoggies in da’ window?” after Fresno State hosed us for the sixth time in as many tries! Big Blew Wolverines make the menu on 0-6 slide, and the Tigers of LSU and Clemson make an entrance on 0-5 skids, despite the protests of Siegfried & Roy!

Vindy’s Championship Week Best Bets: Last Week: 4-3 Season: 48-26-1 (.649)
Ohio State-Michigan State “under” 52, Utah State-FRESNO STATE “over” 60 ½, South Florida +6 over RUTGERS

On deck….Army-Navy!

Vindy's Picks Week 14-2013

BOGUS AD COSTS AIRLINE THOUSANDS

DALLAS, Texas (REUTERS)…November holiday-travel is typically a boon for airline companies, but a mistake in a Southwest Airlines commercial has led to a significant financial hit for the major carrier. The investigation continues, but initial reports point toward the hacking of the broadcast of its signature-motto, resulting in the proclamation that…“’Backs Fly Free!” Taking advantage of the boo-boo, athletes at the various qualifying positions…quarterbacks, running backs,...yay, even…defensive backs…from the pro, collegiate and prep-school levels…lined up at Southwest ticket-counters to reap the benefits of the error. Acknowledging the mistake, but humbly adhering to the truth-in-advertising laws, the carrier agreed to honor the discount fares through the end of Thanksgiving weekend. The company, however, got the last-laugh, as players at the designated-spots were required to ride in the cargo-hold!

After last week’s tepid 9-7 (111-100-4, 4, .526), we hopin’ to stay warm enough to trip the smoke-alarm in the cockpit restroom and join da’ “Mile-High Club” by stockin’ the beverage-cart with…

THE WEBER KID’S 2013 WEEK 14 FORECAST
(Always first outta’ da’ luggage-carousel upon arrival!)

TUES. NOV. 26
#18 NORTHERN ILLINOIS (-35) over Western Michigan: Number 18 here, but #14 in the BCS Poll, just enough to qualify for a big-money, post-season venue. We get the whole “TV-exposure for the conference”-thing, but will somebody please tell da’ MAC that college football should be played on Thursday, Friday or Saturday…not Tuesday! (Bowl-season notwithstanding!) Sled Dogs are allowing 24.5 ppg in the MAC, Western Michigan has averaged 17.5, but part of that has been in recent pair of contests vs. the other directional-Meeeshigans. NIU has the top ground game in the conference and WMU allows 4 rushing touchdowns per game. A MAC title means little to Northern Illinois if it can’t reach a BCS bowl. Again, Huskies’ main-competition for “buster” comes from Fresno State, who won’t have a cake-walk at San Jose State nor vs. Utah State in the Mountain Jest championship, but ‘Dogs won’t know the result of SJSU tilt until long-after this one’s complete, so expect NIU to pile-on in effort get style-points vs. hapless Broncos (1-6 SU in conference, 1-10 on the year) who have lost to the spread in 7 of last 8, including coughing-up Eastern Michigan’s only FBS victory of 2013 as 3-point chalk. Underdogs, while, hangin’ around and getting’ close to fitty-fitty ATS among Top 25 games recently, still haven’t posted that “’dogs howl”-week. NIU has hit da’fitties or better three times already and could break into the sixties for the second time, but…NIU 54 WMU 13 (This one’s already in the books as a forecast loss as NIU could muster just a 19-point victory)

FRI. NOV. 29
Oregon State (+22) over #12 OREGON: Ducks 40 Beavers 20

#15 LSU (-25) over Arkansas: Bengals 44 Bacon 16

#16 Fresno State (-7 ½) over SAN JOSE STATE: Bulldogs playing on a short-week, but have been laying-waste to recent opponents. San Josie needs this one to see life in the post-season, but went to 3OT in shootout loss to Navy, bringing home one of our six [count ‘em, six!] “best bet” wins last week). Earlier victories by 5 and 7, at Hawaii and San Diego State, respectively, give us pause, but Fresno has some ground to make up to catch aforementioned NIU Huskies (#14 in BCS poll) for a “buster” berth. Smacking SJSU would aid the cause, especially with NIU’s listless win over 1-11 Western Michigan…’Dogs 38 SJSU 27

South Florida (+27) over #17 CENTRAL FLORIDA: There might not be 26 total points scored in this one. Knights’ only real faux-pas was allowing an early punt-block in their end zone for a score by Rutgers. Bulls started season slowly (0-4 SU, including 32-point home-loss to AA McNeese State/1-2 ATS), but have shown a little interest since then. If they have anything left, they’ll bring it here vs. intra-state rival. USF, surprisingly, shows pretty-good defensive numbers…#15 nationally in pass D and #24 vs. the run. Knights hangin’ on to slim one-game advantage over Louisville and Cincinnati in the Love-Boat Conference. A more-challenging road-game at SMU awaits. A lotta’ USF seniors played their final home-game in last week’s 16-6 loss to those same Ponies, but…Golden Knights 24 USF 7

SAT. NOV. 30
#1 Alabama (-10 ½) over #4 AUBURN: While War Eagle took an extra week to watch game-film, Carmine Pachyderms dispatched Tennessee-Chat-Room-Nooga 49-0, or the same final-score of 2012’s Iron Bowl. We sooooooooooo wanna’ take da’ Tigers in a huuuuuuge upset here, just to stick-it da’ BCS. But holding to the premise of “*cheer* with yer heart and *bet* with yer *head*”, we see nothing in Auburn’s prior schedule that prompts us to support the home-dog. We’re not convinced a late defeat on the SEC road would preclude Alabama from a national-title game shot, but Tide’s already-dispensed with one “bad-game” that saw ‘Bama commit four turnovers in mere-13-point victory over Mississippi State. ‘Bama’s played five contests decided by 18 or less in the last 2+ seasons, winning all five, but going 1-4 ATS. Three of the last four in this series have yielded ‘Bama routs, with lone anomaly being Auburn’s 28-27 victory in 2010 (last time both were ranked in the Top Ten coming in). Tide might be without its starting center again, but Saban’s soldiers will simply play defense and special-teams, as always, while awaiting Auburn to self-destruct in the second-half with turnovers, untimely penalties and other miscues…Hound’s Tooth U. 29 Auburn 13

#2 Florida State (-27 ½) over FLORIDA: Seminoles 42 Crocs 10

#3 Ohio State (-14) over MICHIGAN: Buckeyes haven’t lost a game outright since 2011’s post-season defeat vs. Florida in the Gator Bowl. Big Blew has been a non-factor, SU and against the spread, for eight of the last nine years, winning only in Ann Arbor in 2011 (40-34). State’s already a fixture in the Big Tempura championship game vs. Sparty, which will mean more than a big triumph this week. Michigan’s young team has, however, won five of its six home games (losing by 4 to Nebraska). OSU was up 42-0 before relinquishing the cover to Indiana, who scored twice in the final six minutes…Buckeyes 42 Michigan 17

#5 MISSOURI (-4) over #19 Texas A&M: Tigers’ D is capable of harassing and containing Manziel much the same way LSU did and Mizzou has avenged each of last season’s conference-defeats by substantial margins. It was A&M in 2012 by final score of 59-29. Almost a year after garnering the Heismanziel Trophy, it appears Johnny and his friends are headed for first stint outside the rankings since last September…Missouri 37 Aggies 27

#6 Clemson (+4 ½) over #10 SOUTH CAROLINA: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #1. Won’t argue with Gamehens as faves here, given perfect 6-0 record at home on the season. We also note the Poultry has beaten CU by double-digits in each of the past four years. However, Clemson’s only loss was to Florida State and Tigers have pounded the opponents since then, averaging more than fitty points-per game in that span. Taj Boyd has Clemson pass-heavy at over 3200 passing yards, with favorite target Sammy Watkins at nearly 1200 receiving yards. But Boyd can run in the red zone too, scoring 8 ground touchdowns, while RB Roderick McDowell will probably eclipse 1000 rushing yards by the end of the bowl game and gives CU enough to make Carolina respect the run. Both sides warmed-up by throttling a pair of AA teams last week. Chickens hung 70 on Coastal Carolina a week after ho-hum 19-14 win over faded-Florida. SC narrowly-beat Mizzou, but also yielded Vols’ only win over a BCS-conference team…Tigers 30 Tenders 24

#7 Oklahoma State: IDLE (next vs. Oklahoma)

Notre Dame (+14) over #8 STANFORD: Irish, who unveiled 2013 Shamrock Series uniforms in August (seriously…and we like ‘em better than 2012 Knute Sham-Rockne versions!), gotta’ feel a bit a dissed after being jumped by UL-Lafayette, who made the Top 25, while ND continues to sit outside the bubble despite 23-13 win over BYU. That game saw Leprechauns QB Rees stroll triumphantly off da’ field with chants of “Tommy!”, “Tommy!”, Tommy!” And why the stadium-operator was showing the Who’s famous 1975 rock-opera flick on the Jumbo-Tron at the time is still a mystery! Both teams have been in several single-digit decisions this year and da’ Trees had won three straight in this series until losing 20-13 at South Bend last season during Our Lady’s run to the national title game…Cardinal 27 ND 20

#9 Baylor (-12 ½) over TCU: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK…Bears 35 Toads 13

Minnesota (+15) over #11 MICHIGAN STATE: Spartans 23 Gophers 13

Arizona (+13) over #13 ARIZONA STATE: With 38-33 road win against the Bruins, Pitchforks appear headed for rematch vs. Stanford for PAC-12 crown. ‘Cats didn’t squander their good fortune vs. mistake-prone Ducks last week. Last four years of the rivalry have come down to a touchdown or less and the visitor has left the building victorious. Sun Devils have better-balanced offense, so we don’t see the defeat-trend continuing for the home-squad, but if AZ can contain, even a little, State QB Taylor Kelly, like they did they did Drakes’ QB Marcus Mariota, they can make ASU work for it…Devils 29 ‘Cats 24

#14 WISCONSIN (-24) over Penn State: Badgers met, and didn’t cover against, a very-motivated Minnie Mouse team. With no December or January prospects however, Lions just need to put this season, 6-5 to-date, to bed. In January, Al Pacino accepted the role as Joe Paterno in the movie called “Happy Valley”. The obvious quotes include…“Keep your players close, your referees closer” and “You tell yer friends at the NCAA, I beat a conference-opponent for fun. But fer a BCS berth, I gonna’ carve them up real nice.” BTW, we think Ross Perot with a dye-job and a blue-and-white jacket would look more like JoePa than Al Pacino. Just sayin’. Better choice than Al Gore! Al Qaida! Weird Al Yankovic! Al Capone! Al Franken! Al Sharpton!??? Alameda, California???!! Al Roker!? Alpaca!!!! …Badgers 41 PSU 13

#20 Oklahoma: IDLE (next @ Oklahoma State)

Louisiana-Monroe (+14) over #21 LOUISIANA-LAFAYETTE: Hark! Is that a Stun-Belt team we find among the Top 25????!!!! Ragin’ Cajuns will play in their third-straight post-season, already at 8-2 SU on the year, and undefeated in five conference matches. Warhawks need the dubya here to make their second bowl. Monroe is 3-3 SU in the Sun Belt and shows a decent 21-19 road-win at Wake Forest. ‘Cajuns on 0-3 ATS slide, Birds are 0-2 SU/ATS the past two weeks after nice three-game win-streak in mid-season. Lafayette, who has won three straight years in this series….with one-point decisions in ’10 and ’11, by final margin of 40-24 last season, did allow 35 points to lousy NMSU club at home. ULM has no chance to grind one out, so it’ll be up to senior QB Kolton Browning to keep Monroe close with his arm…Weeziana-Laugh-At-Us 37 Weeziana-Cornrow 27

#22 Louisville: IDLE (next 12/5 @ Cincinnati)

#24 USC (-4) over #23 Ucla: Trojans 24 Bruins 17

#25 Duke (+6) over NORTH CAROLINA: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #2…Blue Devils 34 UNC 31

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

BTW, a flight-attendant, speaking on conditions of anonymity, revealed rescue-efforts are underway to free smaller players still lodged in the overhead compartments!

Pressing the advantage, ambitious fans tried to get free fares by wearing throw-back jerseys. But TSA wasn’t having any of it and quickly escorted offenders from “departures” to “ground transportation” or at the very-least to… ”Fumbles-Lost and Found!”!

And…Samuel L. Jackson has signed a contract to film “Picks on a Plane!”

In March, TSA loosened its ban on carry-on items, allowing small knives, souvenir-size bats, golf clubs and other sports equipment. In fact, in an effort to draw more passengers, many carriers will now equip the first-class sections of their bigger planes with…miniature-golf courses and batting cages.

Riddle us this, Batman!...Why does every game Vindy elects to actually watch generally go to crap for the side we’re backin’ in the first 15 to 30 minutes????!!!!

If ya went to the sportsbook counter with any of Vindy’s choice-selections (Lock of da’ week or Best Bets), other than WYOMING -7 over Hawaii (a pick that cost us a parlay wager), yer a happy camper, as they went a collective 7-1 against the line!

Victory Honda in Monroe, Michigan is letting customers buying cars on game-day of the Buckeyes-Wolverines contest hang onto the vehicles at no additional cost if Big Blue tosses a shut-out. The fine-print, however, requires those same customers to exchange their new cars for FORD Pintos if State covers the spread!

This week’s “must-leave TV”…Idaho (1-10 SU/3-7 ATS) @ NEW MEXICO STATE (0-11 SU/3-7 ATS; favored by 3 ½)

NY Jets coach Rex Ryan reportedly participated in not one, but two days of the annual Pamplona running-of-the-bulls in July. Coach escaped twice unscathed. Insiders say Mrs. Ryan doffed her heels and showed-off her bare tootsies, distracting the animals…and several runners…enough to allow her hubby to grab a comfortable lead before the animals were released!

“Because ‘and’ is better than ‘or’”: “Count it…or one?!” “The hoop…or the hack?!” “Texas ‘A’ or ‘M’” “First or third with two out?!” During Olympic weight-lifting…“clean or jerk??!!” And… in classic lit…“Romeo or Juliet???!!!”

And finally…If Vindy likes his current healthcare plan, can he quarterback-keep it???!!!

Black Shirt(s): We hadda’ get us one them highfalutin’ 3-D printers to make enough ebony tees to outfit the entire Minnesota Gophers’ defense for keeping Wisconsin (-15 ½) , up 13 halfway thru the Third Quarter, off the scoreboard over the final 21:55 of the game to grab the cover. And we’re givin’ thanks for Middies’ CB Parrish Gaines for picking-off a San Jose State pass in the end zone during the third extra-frame of Navy’s eventual victory, as noted above!

“Locked in a Box?”: Sparty’s 24-point win over N-Dub gave us our third straight correct preferred-pick among Top 25 games and evened our “lock” record at 6-6-1 (.500)!

Shoppe Talk: Stanford (2-6, .250) flew beneath the radar with a forecast win by belting Cal, but the Spooners of Oklahoma show-up on 1-6 forecast skid, as do the Pitchforks of ASU at 1-4…and we’re watching LSU and the Tea-Baggies of A&M, both at 0-4 recently!

Vindy’s Week 14 Best Bets: Last Week: 6-1 Season: 44-23-1 (.657; 13-4 the past three weeks!)
East Carolina +2 ½ over MARSHALL (Fri), Washington State +15 over WASHINGTON (Fri), UNLV +3 ½ over San Diego State, Northwestern -3 ½ over ILLINOIS, UAB -14 ½ over Southern Miss, Tulane +11 ½ over RICE, Arkansas State +6 over WESTERN KENTUCKY

Vindy's Picks Week 14-2013 Early Edition

TUES. NOV. 26
#18 NORTHERN ILLINOIS (-35) over Western Michigan: Number 18 here, but #14 in the BCS Poll, just enough to qualify for a big-money, post-season venue. We get the whole “TV-exposure for the conference”-thing, but will somebody please tell da’ MAC that college football should be played on Thursday, Friday or Saturday…not Tuesday! (Bowl-season notwithstanding!) Sled Dogs are allowing 24.5 ppg in the MAC, Western Michigan has averaged 17.5, but part of that has been in recent pair of contests vs. the other directional-Meeeshigans. NIU has the top ground game in the conference and WMU allows 4 rushing touchdowns per game. A MAC title means little to Northern Illinois if it can’t reach a BCS bowl. Again, Huskies’ main-competition for “buster” comes from Fresno State, who won’t have a cake-walk at San Jose State nor vs. Utah State in the Mountain Jest championship, but ‘Dogs won’t know the result of SJSU tilt until long-after this one’s complete, so expect NIU to pile-on in effort get style-points vs. hapless Broncos (1-6 SU in conference, 1-10 on the year) who have lost to the spread in 7 of last 8, including coughing-up Eastern Michigan’s only FBS victory of 2013 as 3-point chalk. Underdogs, while, hangin’ around and getting’ close to fitty-fitty ATS among Top 25 games recently, still haven’t posted that “’dogs howl”-week. NIU has hit da’fitties or better three times already and could break into the sixties for the second time, but…NIU 54 WMU 13

We'll back with the rest of this week's picks, but it could be Thursday rather than Wednesday! Stay tuned!

Vindy's Picks Week 13-2013

OLYMPIC TORCH FUMBLED BY RUSSIANS

MOSCOW, Russia (MSNBC)…The spacewalk was going fine a couple of hours in. Then came the message…”Moscow…we have a problem.” Despite efforts by Roscosmos, Russia’s counterpart to NASA, to conceal the error, foreign intelligence, hackers and yes, CB-radio enthusiasts, intercepted the transmission that the Olympic Torch, accompanying the cosmonauts on their current journey, had been bobbled by Sergei Ryazanskiy while hamming it up for Oleg Kotov’s camera, and was quickly swept away by solar winds into the “final frontier”. Embarrassed by the incident, the Soviets launched a rescue-shuttle in hopes of recovering the icon before the start of the Winter Games in February…and more-importantly, before any other member of the international community could do so. NASA officials had no comment on the situation, other than to deny the USS Enterprise was in pursuit of the item or that the Jupiter 2 had radioed that they have visual contact with the torch.

Registering a 10-7 finish for a second straight week and reaching the century-mark in forecast-wins at least a week prior to suffering 100 losses (102-93-4, .523), your humble host was not subjected to hearing, “It’s good to be twerking with you again, Tay” from HAL 9000. Even Major Tom eschewed a chance at “coming home” for one final Earthly-look at…

THE WEBER KID’S 2013 WEEK 13 FORECAST
(Competing for “cutest Weber kid” on that AT&T 4G commercial!)

WED. NOV. 20
#20 Northern Illinois (-2 ½) over TOLEDO: The lines-makers apparently believe there are still enough folks, sharps and/or public, who think the Huskies could stumble after posting 10 straight wins on the season. Granted, Northern Illinois gave up almost 500 yards of offense to Ball State, was minus-one in turnover ratio and ultimately scored 21 straight points in the 4th Quarter to pull away in a previously-tight game. Cardinals were pass-heavy. Rockets bring a more-balanced offense. These two are statistically-comparable in most areas and Toledo lost respectably by 15 at Mizzou (following a cover in the opener at Florida). Da’ Spaceships have also bested likely MAC-East champ Bowling Green (28-25, wasting a three-TD lead in the process) and lost by 7 at Ball State. NIU defensive end Joe Windsor initially had himself a prized-Black Shirt… signed, sealed and delivered…until the final ticks of the Auburn-Georgia game, for 49-yard INT return for TD that secured a win instead of a potential push on Wednesday night game vs. Ball State. NIU yields just one rushing TD per game. Rockets give up north of two per tilt. We expect that to be the edge NIU needs to carry-on toward a BCS bowl and the ATS-win. Total on this is 70 ½. We like a somewhat more temperate scoring-pace …Dogs 33 Mudhens 27 (Just like last week, this one’s already underway as we go to press)

THURS. NOV. 21
#17 CENTRAL FLORIDA (-17) over Rutgers: Knights versus…Knights??!!! Ball-game or jousting tourney???!! Waffled a couple times on this one, but finally settled on the Golden ones. UCF has been in several tight ones, but against better teams. Scarlet Paladins have lost twice in past three contests by 35 points/game and are on 1-4 point-spread slide…Central Florida 38 Jersey Turnpike Exit 9B 17

SAT. NOV. 23
Chattanooga @ #1 ALABAMA: No line. While ‘Bama stop-squad threw another shutout, Tide’s four turnovers on offense against Mississippi State cost us a four-team teaser parlay! Go Mocs!

Idaho (+57) over #2 FLORIDA STATE: In the past two weeks, Sandals have lost by 16 and 21 at home to FBS newcomers Texas State and Old Dominion, and 45 at Ole Miss in only match-up vs. Top 25, but this is a meaningless non-conference game a week prior to FSU’s trip to the Swamp and merely represents the opportunity to get starters injured. Winston won’t play more than a half…Seminoles 54 Idaho 3

#3 Baylor (-10) over #11 OKLAHOMA STATE: Baylor was apparently toying with Texas Tech, the third-best scoring offense in the Big 12 behind these two squads (though just a FG/game behind OKSU), taking mere 8-point lead into the locker room at the half, then putting the starters in at the start of the 3rd Quarter. BU has better wins over common opponents, with Chafin and Linwood leading the rushing attack in Seastrunk’s absence and, as expected, QB Petty is closing-in on 3000 yards. Bears coach Art Briles just got himself a nice 10-year contract last week and only Kansas State stayed about this close to Da’ Bears…Baylor 51 OKSU 37

Indiana (+33) over #4 OHIO STATE: Buckeyes 51 Hoosiers 24

#5 Oregon (-20 ½) over ARIZONA: Mallards 44 AZ 20

#6 Auburn: IDLE (next vs. Alabama)

Citadel @ #7 CLEMSON: No line.

#8 Missouri (-2 ½) over #24 MISSISSIPPI: Rebels are simply positioning for a better bowl-berth, while Tigers need a victory to stay on track for chance to play in SEC championship match, because South Carolina owns the head-to-head tie-breaker in the conference’s East Division. Ole Miss hopes to enjoy the last of a six (count ‘em, six)-game home-stand and haven’t been tested since edging LSU four games ago. Mizzou regains the services of James Franklin at QB. In all honestly, we salute back-up QB redshirt freshman Maty Mauk for a bang-up job in a relief role the past few games. Tigers haven’t been drawn into a shootout thus far. Advantage Mississippi if that happens. If not…Missouri 24 Old Mist 17

#9 Texas A&M (+4) over #18 LSU: UPSET ALERT. Both were idle last week. Tigers keep finding ways to lose after looking decent early. LSU has now won 25 of the last 26 in Baton Rouge, but Manziel is still the X-Men factor for A&M. Tigers lost to Ole Miss by 3, A&M beat the Rebels by three on the road and LSU’s best-victory to date now looks like 14-point triumph at home over now-#8 Auburn. LSU won 24-19 at College Station in 2012, and has won half of last ten decided by 7 or less, but shows just 2-7-1 ATS in those games…State 34 A&M 33

#10 STANFORD (-32) over California: Best guess for “wish I had it back.” History of this series suggests a much closer game and Cardinal is off upset by USC. Bares lost by 17 at Colorado, now the second-worst team in the conference. Trees haven’t gotten in the zip-code of bashing anybody this badly all year, except neutral-site game vs. Wazzou…Stanford 45 Cal 10

Coastal Carolina @ #12 SOUTH CAROLINA: No line.

#13 Michigan State (-7) over NORTHWESTERN: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Northwestern, last alphabetically and last in the standings of the Legends Division in Big Tenderfoot play, needs to take both of its final pair of games to be bowl-eligible. That’s the only reason to consider backin’ the Wildcats off morale-killing defeat last week. MSU with a victory faces probably Ohio State for post-season visit to Pasadena. N-Dub is winless in conference with 0-6 SU/1-5 ATS spiral, though three of four defeats were by a FG. ‘Cats were favored to beat Michigan…and lost…in triple-OT. Sparty has won last six (5-1 ATS) by 12 or more. Last season’s 10-win Northwestern squad did not face a team that was ranked at the time. It shows this year! We expect somewhat of a three-spree and we’ll say it goes “under 42” as well…MSU 23 NW 9

#14 UCLA (+2) over #19 Arizona State: UCLA 29 ASU 24

New Mexico @ #15 FRESNO STATE: OFF

MINNESOTA (+15 ½) over #16 Wisconsin: We’ll stay with gut-instinct on this one, despite nearly reneging after looking at the numbers, most of which favor Wisky, including margins of victory in Wisconsin’s wins each of last three years in this series…18, 29 and 25. BYU scored with about 3:00 left to keep the final margin at 10 and Badgers won by just 24 at Illinois. The surging Gophers are at least 10 points better than the Illini, especially in Minneapolis. Badgers have just one ATS defeat all year, the result of touchdown-loss in Columbus, but we saw mighty Alabama offense fall on its face last week on the road as well. Gophers are gonna’ need to cover this on defense, because after RB David Cobb (942 rushing yards), the ground game falls off significantly…Cheese-Heads 39 Minny 27

Memphis (+24 ½) over #21 LOUISVILLE: Second choice for “lock”…Cardinal 26 Tigers 10

KANSAS STATE (-3 ½) over #22 Oklahoma: Purple Persians have been tough to figure this year, but we did cash a ticket going against them in Week 12, grabbing double-digits with the Horny Toads as a “best bet” last week. First road-dog role for the Spooners since 2011 edition of “Bedlam”. Not much up for grabs here except bowl-hierarchy. Defense is foremost on both sides. No faith in pickin’ either club and maybe “under” 53 is the first choice, with Oklahoma showing nice rushing numbers and a slightly-better pass D, but…KSU 24 OK 20

COLORADO (+23) over #23 Southern Cal: Troy Boys 27 Bison 7

WAKE FOREST (+5) over #25 Duke: Folks in Winston-Salem gotta’ be thinkin’ “Blue Devils are ranked???!! You gotta’ be sh*ttin’ me!!!” Duke spotted Miami a 10-point lead in the 1st Quarter then proceeded to whoop some boo-tay en route to its 6th consecutive victory. Deacs lost here last season, 34-27, after defeating Duke each year since 2000, and 7 of the last 9 were decided by a touchdown or less. Wake has dented the board for…well…um…a lone three-pointer…in its last two games, but shows home-wins over NC State and Maryland in October. Demon Deacons gotta’ sweep the final two games to take the field in December and Jim Grobe needs one more dubya to have most coaching wins at Da’ Forest in school history…Indigo Incubi 23 Wake 20

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

BTW, if the torch falls outta’ orbit back into Third Rock’s atmosphere, at least it’ll be lit! If the Russians win the gold for hockey in Sochi, the closest the medals are gonna’ get to space is…resting on a museum display-table next to a Beta-Max version of da’ Jetsons! As to the fate of Comrade Ryazanskiy, Roscosmos played the final moments of Armageddon and Space Cowboys, revealing the movies’ conclusions for Harry Stamper, played by Bruce Willis, and ”Hawk” Hawkins, portrayed by Tommy Lee Jones, on a continuous loop, for him via the vessel’s video-monitor!

And before hitting da’ cutting-room, floor, Star Wars featured a scene in which Obi-Wan Kenobi wields an Olympic torch to stave-off Darth Vader long enough for the rest of the protagonists to board the Millennium Falcon and escape the tractor-beam! (“If you keep me off the medal-stand now, Darth…I shall become more-powerful than you could ever imagine.”)

Given the Steelers’ striped jerseys and socks, along with the plain tan/gold/beige/whatever pants for Sunday’s game vs. Detroit, we can’t decide if they looked more like bumble-bees or Broadway actors awaiting the tail, whiskers and ears to complete the costumes for their roles in the musical “Cats”!!!

The Jaguars’ Jason Babin got a bit more than he bargained for, ending up with a handful of mane on a tackle of Arizona Cardinals Andre Ellington. Said the rookie ball-carrier in a post-contest interview, “Joke’s on Jason, Dude. Those ‘dreads were just extensions!” The Arizona team-trainer did, however, quickly usher Ellington into the locker-room following the play, holding a bottle of Rogaine! After watching the video-replay, Steelers safety Troy Polamalu visibly winced!

In related news, “hair-chalking” became a trend among teenagers…wrapping strands of hair in pastel chalk and sealing the color by running a hot iron thru it???!!! Are faves now known as “hair-chalk”? At Kansas, we will we hear… “Rock, hair-chalk, Jayhawk”?!

As Baltimore continues to struggle this season, we’re reminded that in the days leading up to Super Bowl 47, Ray Lewis adamantly denied using deer-antler spray to enhance his performance. The Ravens LB did, however, cop to using turtle-wax, duck-tape and kitty litter!

Princes Charles, at 65, is still awaiting his pension… and his throne. Having been the heir behind QE II since 1952, he may be better off being a coach-in-waiting to get the head job at Virginia Tech, currently under the 27-year reign of Frank Beamer!

Controversial Toronto mayor Rob Ford, sporting a football jersey, got the cold shoulder every time he opened his mouth at a recent City Council meeting. Just a couple thoughts for Hizzoner…Canada’s national pastime is… HOCKEY, not football, you hoser…and of all the players in the NFL, the uniform you wore proclaimed fandom for… Richie Incognito???!!!

Black Shirt: Was wrenched away from the aforementioned Northern Illinois defender in the blink of an eye by UGA Bulldogs safety Josh Harvey-Clemons, who tipped an Auburn pass on 4th-and-18 with less than half a minute on the clock, into the hands of a Tigers WR for a touchdown…giving Auburn the win, the cover and rescuing Vindy’s “Lock of da’ Week” after War Eagle tanked a 20-point advantage! Honorable Mention to Joja’ coach Mike Richt for drawing an unsportsmanlike-conduct flag after officials ruled simultaneous-possession favoring Auburn, who eventually hit pay-dirt on the drive!

“Locked in a Box?”: Strike up da’ band (just not the one at Delaware State)! Auburn’s “What just happened??!!”- win and cover over Joja’ gives us back-to-back “lock” wins, bumping up the record to 5-6-1 (.454).

Shoppe Talk: The NIU Huskies (1-4, .200) finally gave us a break with very late cover vs. Ball State, as noted above, but it’s Cardinal-under-glass again as our blue-plate special with Stanford now on 1-6 skid and 3-7 for the year so far. On the radar…Clemson (0-4 skid), Oklahoma (1-5 skid) and Ohio State (0-4 skid)!

Vindy’s Week 13 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-3 Season: 38-22-1 (.633)
Navy +1 ½ over SAN JOSE STATE (Fri), Mississippi State -3 over ARKANSAS, East Carolina -6 over NC STATE, Bowling Green -24 ½ over EASTERN MICHIGAN, WYOMING -7 over Hawaii, FLORIDA ATLANTIC -20 over New Mexico State, Vanderbilt +2 ½ over TENNESSEE

Vindy's Picks Week 13-2013 Early Edition

WED. NOV. 20
#20 Northern Illinois (-2 ½) over TOLEDO: The lines-makers apparently believe there are still enough folks, sharps and/or public, who think the Huskies could stumble after posting 10 straight wins on the season. Granted, Northern Illinois gave up almost 500 yards of offense to Ball State, was minus-one in turnover ratio and ultimately scored 21 straight points in the 4th Quarter to pull away in a previously-tight game. Cardinals were pass-heavy. Rockets bring a more-balanced offense. These two are statistically-comparable in most areas and Toledo lost respectably by 15 at Mizzou (following a cover in the opener at Florida). Da’ Spaceships have also bested likely MAC-East champ Bowling Green (28-25, wasting a three-TD lead in the process) and lost by 7 at Ball State. NIU defensive end Joe Windsor initially had himself a prized-Black Shirt… signed, sealed and delivered…until the final ticks of the Auburn-Georgia game, for 49-yard INT return for TD that secured a win instead of a potential push on Wednesday night game vs. Ball State. NIU yields just one rushing TD per game. Rockets give up north of two per tilt. We expect that to be the edge NIU needs to carry-on toward a BCS bowl and the ATS-win. Total on this is 70 ½. We like a somewhat more temperate scoring-pace…Dogs 33 Mudhens 27

Vindy's Picks Week 12-2013

CEREAL GIANT GOES BOWLING TO AVOID CUTS

BATTLE CREEK, Michigan (UPI)…Facing a 7% worldwide reduction-in-force due to sagging (soggy?) sales, Kellogg’s will be able to retain its employees in light of a contract to sponsor a post-season college football game, heretofore known as the Kellogg’s Rice Krispies Bowl. The opportunity will afford the cereal manufacturer additional marketing-exposure and the ability to showcase its better-known mascots…on every “Snap”, while hoping to go undetected as players try to dodge flags for “Crackle-back blocks” and pads “Pop”!

We enjoyed our Sunday-morning meal after registering a 10-7 (92-86-4, .517) record for Week 11, and we’re following that up by pouring the milk and sugar on a big bowl of…

THE WEBER KID’S 2013 WEEK 12 FORECAST
(Part of every champion’s breakfast!)

WED. NOV. 13
#20 NORTHERN ILLINOIS (-7) over Ball State: Always a fan of the ‘dog first, we looked for a reason to back Da’ Birds here. Cardinals QB Keith Wenning is #4 nationally in passing yardage, behind some kid named Manziel, and shows mighty-fine TD-to-pick ratio of 27-5 squaring-off vs. #107-ranked pass defense, but much of that likely had to do with Huskies’ ability to open sizable leads early, forcing teams to give-up on the running attack. Collectively, these clubs are 18-1 SU in 2013, with BSU’s only defeat coming at pretty-good North Texas by 7 (Mean Green however, does show a loss by 6 at MAC East contender Ohio U. and a surprising 3-point defeat at Tulane). Unless NIU, who avenged last year’s 18-17 loss to Big Tentacle’s Iowa Hawkeyes 30-27 in Ames and pummeled said-conference’s Purdue Boilermakers ahead of whacking MAC opposition, loses dual-threat QB Jordan Lynch (#9 in total offense) to injury or the November-that-favors-underdogs rears its ugly head, we think the Sled Dogs win and cover in de facto Mid-American West Division title game…Northern Illinois 44 Ball State 31 (This one’s already underway as we go to press)

THURS. NOV. 14
Georgia Tech (+10) over #8 CLEMSON: UPSET ALERT. Crunch-time for da’ Bees, who’ve gone 2-2 SU/1-2-1 ATS on the road, in particular, losing by 15 at Miami and by 18at BYU in consecutive weeks, but GT can burn clock (#3 nationally in time-of-possession at 34 minutes/game) with #5 rushing offense (better than 311 ypg) in an effort to steal a victory to keep one-game advantage over Virginia Tech (to whom it lost earlier) atop the Coastal Division to get a shot at Florida State in the ACC Conference Championship tilt. Tigers’ only stumble was vs. aforementioned ‘Noles and have beaten the remainder of their ACC opponents by at least a dozen, other than Boston College (24-14 win)…Tigers 28 ‘Jackets 24

FRI. NOV. 15
#13 UCLA (-3) over Washington: Bruins 38 UDUB 28

SAT. NOV. 16
#1 Alabama (-24 ½) over MISSISSIPPI STATE: Whether Nick Saban or any of his charges would admit it, the word “letdown” is in Tide’s vocabulary, as evidenced by 25-point victory/spread-loss over Colorado State following somewhat-closely-contested game vs. the Aggies. Unfortunately for the host, Tide coasted in second half vs. LSU. Bulldogs lost by 18 to Oklahoma State on a neutral site, by 4 at Auburn, by 18 at South Carolina and by 10 last week at A&M. Aggies’ defense let MSU close the gap in 4th Quarter with 20 points, having been up 47-20 thru the first 45 minutes. ‘Bama’s been ignoring any historical trends against them this year, have a limited number of strings to substitute on the road and have only Chattanooga waiting next Saturday. MSU has hit the board for almost 30 ppg, but haven’t faced a defense like this…’Bama 44 State 16

#2 FLORIDA STATE (-38 ½) over Syracuse: FSU 48 ‘Cuse 7

#3 Ohio State (-32) over ILLINOIS: Guess which wide-receiver, after blabbing to reporters, that his team would “wipe da’ floor with ‘Bama or Florida State”, will spend the rest of da’ season wipin’ toilets in the Buckeyes locker-room ...with a cocktail napkin??!!!...State 45 Illini 10

#4 BAYLOR (-27) over Texas Tech: Bears 54 Tech 24

#5 Stanford (-3) over USC: We attribute the very-minimal spread to Stanford’s road loss to Utah and 8-point win at Oregon State as much to Trojans’ resurrection (having won 4 of last 5 since sending Lane Kiffin to LAX) under new coach. First Top 25 foe for USC, who lost half its six defeats in 2012 by single-digits and 2 of 3 this season by same margin-range. Can’t fathom Cardinal not rushing its way to covering a FG…Stanford 21 USC 15

Utah @ #6 OREGON: OFF (Yep…Utes beat same Stanford club that took out the Drakes last week, and made Arizona State sweat, but were smoked at Arizona and at USC. 2012 was Utah’s first SU losing season since 2005, but at 4-5, Utes might be staring at a second one. Stanford’s rushing game vs. the Ducks was damn-near perfect, but Utah own’s the 8th-ranked ground game in the conference and even if QB Mariota is still ailing a bit, he should still be able to manage perimeter, short-passing game that saw some success vs. the Trees…Mallards 35 Utes 20)

#7 AUBURN (-3 ½) over #25 Georgia: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. ‘Dawgs back in the Top 25 this week after edging fading-Florida in Atlanta and whackin’ FCS Appalachian State. Since his return from injury, Joja’ RB Todd Gurley has contributed to UGA’s success with 175 rushing yards and 99 yards receiving, but just a lone TD. War Eagle continues to roll toward Top 10 clash with ‘Bama. Bulldogs have outscored Tigers 83-7 the past two seasons, but Aubie will gouge Georgia defense with huge rushing game should QB Marshall be ineffective…Auburn 34 Joja’ 27

#9 Missouri: IDLE (next @ Kentucky)

#10 Texas A&M: IDLE (next vs. LSU)

#11 South Carolina: IDLE (next vs. Florida)

#23 TEXAS (+2 ½) over #12 Oklahoma State: MINOR UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. Multiple game-stat reasons to like the visitors, but it’s hard to ignore Longhorns’ momentum. After early disasters, Steers have righted the ship and managed to beat West Virginia, in Morgantown, in extras. Cowpokes lone defeat came vs. those ‘Eers. State on 5-0 SU/4-1ATS run, but ‘Horns are surging and have beaten better competition of-late. A win by OKSU would put Baylor in the driver’s seat for the conference crown. We’ll stay on hot Austin team that will utilize a slightly-better ground attack to secure a home-win…Cattle 34 OKSU 31

#14 Michigan State (-6) over NEBRASKA: Sparty took a little R&R after denying Big Blew access to Paul Bunyan’s Ass..er..um… Axe…again! Huskers could tie MSU for Legends Division lead with a victory and low total (44 ½) is not surprising since State shows 6-2 to the “under”, while five of Corn Cobs’ last seven have finished below the total as well. Spartans also have allowed grand total of 9 points over past three contests. In fact, MSU is giving up, on average, 9 fewer ppg in Big Tenderfoot play than Chiltlins of Da’ Corn. Taylor Martinez needs to lead NU in this one because RB Abdullah won’t get much space on the turf…Michigan State 29 They Who Walk BehindThe Rows 19

TEMPLE (+16 ½) over #15 Central Florida: Having knocked off the only two conference challengers (Louisville and Houston), Golden Knights simply need to win-out to garner automatic BCS berth. UCF defended well last week as Houston, who had a chance to pull out the upset in the waning seconds, failed late. Owls’ only outright triumph came vs. Army, but they’ve been competitive in most of their defeats…UCF 24 Temple 13

#16 Fresno State: IDLE (next vs. New Mexico)

#17 WISCONSIN (-21) over Indiana: Changed our mind here and may regret it, but…Badgers 44 Indy 20

#18 LSU: IDLE (next @ Texas A&M)

Houston (+15 ½) over #19 LOUISVILLE: Coogs trying to make a splash in first year of former-Big Least play and made UCF defend for 60 minutes in tough 19-14 loss in Orlando. Cardinals gave up the backdoor cover to UConn, but did little with five Huskies miscues and scored 14 of its 31points on defense and special teams?! UH gets another shot from us to cover vs. Cards team on 1-4 ATS slide…Da’ Ville 31 Houston 24

Oregon State (+13 ½) over #21 ARIZONA STATE: Pitchforks 34 Beavers 27

Iowa State (+24) over #22 OKLAHOMA: Faux-klahoma 29 ISU 9

#24 Miami (-3) over DUKE: The absence of a running game glares for Miami, but it was special teams that handed the Hokies an upset. Scary stat of da’ week…Blue Devils, after putting 5th straight in the win-column, (4-2 ATS, including 13-10 triumph over Virginia Tech) got votes in both polls! Dukies are already in line for second consecutive post-season berth and a victory this week would all but lock-in back-to-back ACC Coach of Da’ Year plaques for David Cutliffe! ‘Cane-Train is down to the caboose and Pelicans’ 4-point win at UNC and three-point victory over Wake makes us think Duke can cover or win. But Devils are doin’ it on defense, ‘cause nothin’ about the O jumps out except WR Jamison Crowder is within a C-note of 1000 receiving yards. Look for Da’ U to regain a little composure…Miami 23 Duke 16

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

BTW, we prefer Post cereals and there’s two scoops of Vindy’s Picks in every box of Raisin Bran!

UCLA, for its game vs. UDUB, will bust-out a special uniform that includes a pair of gloves, which when held side-by-side portray a picture of the Los Angeles skyline. We’d like to see the concept taken a step further and put pieces of the skyline on the jerseys and force Bruins players to line-up in the correct order to show the accurate picture or face a penalty for “illegal formation”. In addition, new personnel entering the game must sport the same parts of the picture on their unis as the folks they replace or be flagged for “illegal substitution”

Futility bowl of 2013: Florida International (1-8 SU/3-5 ATS, including three shutouts and lone win by 1 point at Southern Miss [currently 0-9] @ UTEP (1-8 SU/1-8 ATS, with only victory by 21 at New Mexico State [1-9 SU, with win over FCS Abby Christian]). Almost selected the Miners -5 ½ over FIU as a “best bet”!

A proposal was made last January that includes a new stadium for Rebels football and an on-campus event center that could annually host the last weekend of the NCAA Tournament. Our first thought was…”Caesar’s Palace Final Forum Shops”???!!!

If a certain Kansas Jayhawks hoops coach only takes ego-centric photos for the rest of the world to see, would they be Bill “Selfies”???!!!

Dennis Rodman got cozy with North Korea’s Kim Jong Un last February. No word as to whether or not the Communist leader has been seen sporting piercings, a wedding dress or a turtle-shell ‘do since then.

In related news, the CEO of GOOGLE called upon North Korea for “Internet openness”. We’ve known from da’ git-go that Kim Jong Un has always secretly wanted access to Vindy’s Picks!

If ya went to the ‘book counter with any our Week 11 preferred selections (“lock” or “best bets”), yer a happy camper ‘cuz those babies collectively finished 5-0 ATS!!!!

Black Shirt: The coveted ebony tee goes to UCLA LB Myles Jack, who recovered a Wildcat fumble in his own end zone, then later scored da’ Bruins’ winning TD to finish our weekend with a forecast dubya and stop the “lock of da’ week” bleeding! Honorable mention to UConn back-up QB Casey Cochran for tossin’ the covering TD vs. Louisville with 35 seconds to play, giving Vindy a 2-1 record going into the weekend.

“Locked in a Box?”: We’re doin’ the happy dance after UCLA beat Arizona to give us our first “lock” dubya in eight freakin’ tries, boosting the tally to 4-6-1 (.400).

Shoppe Talk: We’re roastin’ Stanford Cardinals at the Shoppe as SU ends Week 11 on 1-5 slide. Fresno continues to the bane our existence recently at 0-5!

Vindy’s Week 12 Best Bets: Last Week: 4-0 Season: 35-19-1 (.648)
Marshall -13 ½ over TULSA (Thurs), West Virginia -6 ½ over KANSAS, BOSTON COLLEGE -7 ½ over NC State, Purdue +21 over PENN STATE, GEORGIA STATE +21 over Weeziana-Lafayette, Texas Christian +10 ½ over KANSAS STATE

Vindy's Picks Week 12-2013 Early Edition

WED. NOV. 13
#20 NORTHERN ILLINOIS (-7) over Ball State: Always a fan of the ‘dog first, we looked for a reason to back Da’ Birds here. Cardinals QB Keith Wenning is #4 nationally in passing yardage, behind some kid named Manziel, and shows mighty-fine TD-to-pick ratio of 27-5 squaring-off vs. #107-ranked pass defense, but much of that likely had to do with Huskies’ ability to open sizable leads early, forcing teams to give-up on the running attack. Collectively, these clubs are 18-1 SU in 2013, with BSU’s only defeat coming at pretty-good North Texas by 7 (Mean Green however, does show a loss by 6 at MAC East contender Ohio U. and a shocking 3-point defeat at Tulane). Unless NIU, who avenged last year’s 18-17 loss to Big Tentacle’s Iowa Hawkeyes 30-27 in Ames and pummeled said-conference’s Purdue Boilermakers ahead of whacking MAC opposition, loses dual-threat QB Jordan Lynch (#9 in total offense) to injury or the November-that-favors-underdogs rears its ugly head, we think the Sled Dogs win and cover in de facto Mid-American West Division title game…Northern Illinois 44 Ball State 31

Vindy's Picks Week 11-2013

CONTRACT END OPENS DOOR TO HIGH SCHOOL, COMIC COMPANY

ELRIA, Ohio (AP)…The National Football League has announced it will sever ties with Riddell (pronounced “Wry-Dell”) as its helmet vendor-of-choice in the wake of ongoing concussion problems and other issues, effective the end of the 2013-2014 season. Players have had head-gear options all along as long as competitors fell within prescribed standards, but other brands cannot be mentioned during broadcasts of the games. Riddell was the only company whose name could legally appear on the nose-bumper and paid for the right to make regular and mini-helmets featuring league logos. The change, however, allows the entry of Rydell High School, featured in the musical Grease, and DC Comics to provide head-gear under the name “Riddler”, which would do so only if a question-mark were to be emblazoned somewhere on the helmets!

We’ll blame last week’s 5-8 (82-79-4, .509) on Vindy sustaining too many blows to da’ noggin…the result of banging his cranium on the casino floor while flopping in efforts to draw penalties against sportsbook employees and gain an advantage for…

THE WEBER KID’S 2013 WEEK 11 FORECAST
(Cuter than Olivia Newton-John’s pom-poms!)

THURS. NOV. 7
#2 Oregon (-10 ½) over #6 STANFORD: Is this Mallards squad akin to the one that routed its three regular-season opponents in 2010 or is it perhaps one of the more recent versions that has muddled thru one tough game each of the last two years? For what it’s worth, the games-in-question for 2011 and 2012 were on Da’ Pond, not on the road (and 2010’s stinker came in 15-13 victory at unranked Cal). The closest margins in Drakes last dozen vs. ranked opponents were 11-point win at USC and 17-14 loss to the Trees in OT, both last season. Ducks are otherwise 10-2 ATS against the Top 25 and have covered 14 of last 17 FBS contests. Cardinal has won 23 of last 25 in Palo Alto. We foresee another big day for Oregon’s O…Quack Attack 42 Stanford 24

#5 BAYLOR (-14 ½) over #12 Oklahoma: Bears 44 Sooners 20

FRI. NOV. 8
CONNECTICUT (+28) over #20 Louisville: After being prohibited from last year’s conference and national tourneys, the Huskies’ hoopsters are back in the mix. Let’s hope they ain’t the same bunch of guys who’ve been taking the gridiron all season in Storrs (0-7 SU/1-6 ATS…1-7 ATS if ya count 15-point loss to AA Towson). Redbirds have little to gain with a rout and do have a home-game with potent Houston club on-deck...Louisville 34 UConn 7

SAT. NOV. 9
#10 Louisiana State (+11 ½) over #1 ALABAMA: True college pigskin fans will already know that en route to winning two national crowns in the last three years (and 3 of last 4), the Crimson Tide has recorded exactly one outright home-loss in each of those years. If that trend continues, it happens now…‘cuz the lone remaining visitor to Tuscaloosa is…FCS Tennessee-Chattanooga! In addition, the previous three margins-of-victory in this annual series were 3, 3 and 4. Even ‘Bama’s win during its undefeated 2009 campaign was still less than double-digits. Ever the BCS-anarchist, Vindy would love to see Bengals take out da’ Elephants. We don’t think that’s gonna’ happen, but maybe LSU’s balanced offense can keep Alabama long enough to make it entertaining. Yes, we acknowledge that whole 21-0 BCS title game win by ‘Bama over LSU after the 2011 season and Manziel hit the covering touchdown with the victory already in Tide’s pocket, but…Tide 27 LSU 19

#3 Florida State (-34) over WAKE FOREST: We won’t mention how many times we changed this pick. State needs to go pedal-to-metal here with ‘Noles and Ducks playing weekly leapfrog game in BCS standings to see who gets whacked by Alabama. Tribe did nice job stuffing Miami’s running game then cruised after Duke Johnson was lost for the season, and Stephen Morris couldn’t carry the ‘Canes alone. FSU is outscoring ACC opponents at about a 3-to-1 clip. Deacs allowing an average of less than a touchdown-against more than points-scored in conference play. It was a 35-30 FSU win the last time the two met in Winston-Salem, though FSU won’t likely turn it over five times in this one. Da’ Forest will remember last year’s 52-zippo defeat and were shutout at Syracuse in Week 10, but…FSU 48 Wake Forest 10

#4 Ohio State: IDLE (next @ Illinois)

#7 Auburn (-7) over TENNESSEE: We kinda’ understand the short line given the Vols’ close loss to Joja’ and home-win over Da’ Chicken Coop in Knoxville, but Tigers have been rolling since two-TD defeat in Baton Rouge. Auburn blames a prankster graduate-assistant or a network-employee watching “Wildcats” with Goldie Hawn for sending the wrong tape to Arkansas prior to last week’s Tigers-Razorbacks tilt. The Volunteers took no chances and found the necessary footage on YouTube and Netflix! It won’t be enough to prevent...War Eagle 31 Rocky Top 20

#8 Clemson: IDLE (next vs. Georgia Tech 11/14)

#9 Missouri (-14) over KENTUCKY: Tigers 34 KY 14

#11 TEXAS A&M (-20) over Mississippi State: Aggies 48 MSU 24

#13 South Carolina: IDLE (next vs. Florida)

Virginia Tech (+7) over #14 MIAMI: UPSET ALERT #1. The loss of RB Duke Johnson for the duration by Miami levels the playing-field and points will be at a premium for a pair of slogging offenses. First call is “under” 45. After that…”Canes 17 Hokies 14

#15 OKLAHOMA STATE (-31 ½) over Kansas: Okie State 52 Blue Birds 19

#16 Ucla (-1 ½) over ARIZONA: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. While missing the cover, Bruins did register an appropriate three-score victory over the Buffaloes last week following consecutive away losses at Oregon and Stanford. UCLA will have made adjustments based on those games. Both squads are trying to keep pace, each a game behind the Pitchforks, but ‘Cats have fattened-up recently on Colorado and Cal (beating the Bears by just 5 last week). AZ had won five straight years in this series until 66-10 win by UCLA in 2012. ‘Cats were belted by only ranked-opponent (Washington…31-13) so far…UCLA 35 AZ 27

WYOMING (+10) over #17 Fresno State: Cowboys were one of the few ‘dogs we quickly jumped on initially this week. Up 24-7 at the half, it looked like the rout was on in Fresno’s visit to San Diego State, but as feared, a second-half defensive lapse let the Aztecs cover. Cowpokes had an off-week to contemplate their own failure to stop the opponent after taking a 1st Quarter 16-0 lead, only to fall at San Josie. FSU West is now just 1-6 against the line facing I-A clubs, including 5-point victory earlier at Hawaii…Fresno 41 Wyoming 38

#18 Michigan State: IDLE (next @ Nebraska)

Houston (+10) over #19 CENTRAL FLORIDA: UCF 37 Cougars 31

Brigham Young (+7 ½) over #21 WISCONSIN: UPSET ALERT #2. A non-conference contest that will mean more to the Independent Coogs than to da’ Big Tenor Badgers. Wisky sucks in first of consecutive home games. Mormons would really like to have loss to Virginia back! We’ll favor an “under” here first. BYU finished within a touchdown of Ohio State and have been a reasonably-strong spread-team in the second half of the last three seasons. Varmints, currently 6-2, started out 2012 winning 6 of first 8, then lost three of last four (all in extra-frames!). We’ve already seen Michigan and Miami both narrowly-dodge upsets to lesser teams than BYU and if we were pickin’ an upset of da’ week, this would be it…UW 34 Brigham Young 31

#22 Northern Illinois: IDLE (next vs. Ball State 11/13)

#23 Arizona State (-6 ½) over UTAH: Sun Devils 37 Utes 27

#24 Notre Dame (-4 ½) over PITT: This nearly got the “lock” label. Ahead of last week’s contests, Pennsylvania banned the touching of pregnant bellies without first getting the okay to do so! Penn State disguised its ball-carriers as expectant mothers while hosting Illinois and won, but didn’t cover. The Panthers, who lost badly to the Bees out-of-state last Saturday, will need to pay someone at Auburn to send the wrong game-tape to Notre Dame this week! (And Temple’s gotta’ know Central Florida will be hip to that kinda’ trickeration long before kicking off its match in Philly with Da’ Owls two weeks from now!)…Irish 24 Pitt 9

Kansas State (+2 ½) over #25 TEXAS TECH: MINOR UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK…KSU 27 Raiders 24

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

Da’ whole box of ‘”chalk”…AGAIN????!!!....If yer scoring at home, we show faves in games featuring at least one Top 25 club winnin’ da’ spread-money 24 times in 33 tries (72.7%) across the last two weeks! The public is doin’ the happy dance! The ‘books and “sharps”?? Not so much! In all honesty…we struggled to identify ‘dogs we liked this week too!

Last month, NY Jets coach Rex Ryan considered having QB Geno Smith wear a wristband showing color-coded plays…red, yellow, green…for “conservative”, “cautious” and “aggressive”, respectfully. Vindy’s contemplating a similar bracelet for bettors making wagers with his picks!

With da’ World Serious and the Major League Beisbol season at an end, we simply wonder…”Bat-boys, bat-boys…whatcha’ gonna’ do…whatcha’ gonna’ do…when dey come fer you…Bat-boys???!!!”

The NBA opened its regular-season last week. During the Presidential Inauguration broadcast shortly after the New Year, George Stephanopoulos misidentified Bill Russell as Morgan Freeman. We always loved Bill in Shawshank Redemption, Seven and Batman!

With college hoops opening this week, we note President Obama challenged his Ohio State audience, last May, “to do better…dream bigger.”. Bold words to a Buckeyes team that lost in the Elite Eight to #9 Wichita State and… uh…oh wait!!!

Vindy takes a bow for actually having Louisville as national champion in his bracket, but fully acknowledges there was so much wrestling going on during scrums to grab rebounds in the title-game that referees were awarding points for take-downs, pins and reversals! In fact, “high-post” was apparently thought to be something related to players slamming each other’s heads into the turnbuckles! Come to think of it, tag-team rebounds was a category in the box-score!

Is it just Vindy or does anybody else out there look at “handicap” tags on the cars in front of them and wonder “just how many points is the driver getting anyway?!!!!”

Black Shirt: Is gift-wrapped and sent postage-free this week to Joja’ State QB Ronnie Bell for tossin’ a 20-yard scoring pass with under two minutes left to let the Panthers (+19 ½) finish with a 16-point loss and verify one of our “best bet” selections vs. Western Kentucky! Kudos to Jerry Kill…and his Mork-n-Minny Gophers for beating Indiana on the road as nearly-double-digit dogs, bringin’ a second “best bet” choice to fruition!

“Locked in a Box?”: Maybe it oughta’ be Lox of Da’ Week….’cause Vindy’s selection of Wazzou (+11) over Arizona State got schmeered!!! And our most-preferred choice among Top 25 games is now floundering on 0-6-1 death spiral (3-6-1, .333 season)

Shoppe Talk: We’re mounting Wolverines on the wall of Ye Olde Taxidermy Shoppe this week with Big Blew at 2-5, but on 0-5 slide! We’re walkin’ the dogs off short-piers as Fresno State and Northern Illinois come in at 0-4 each!

Vindy’s Week 11 Best Bets: Last Week: 5-5 Season: 31-19-1 (.620…though just 10-8-1 last 3 weeks)
Vanderbilt +10 over FLORIDA, Texas -6 ½ over WEST VIRGINIA, EAST CAROLINA -16 ½ over Tulsa, Southern Methodist +9 over CINCINNATI (and currently OFF, but if it comes back on da’ board… NORTH TEXAS -7 over Texas-El Paso)