ROYAL INFANT MONIKER-MYSTERY ABOUT SPORTS ATHLETES
LONDON, England (CNN)…Souvenir makers and vendors of commemorative mugs, bibs, baby clothes, plates, cups and pint glasses waited last July with baited breath and had employees on stand-by, ready to scramble, while waiting to learn the gender of Kate’s regal not-yet-born child! Soon thereafter, the blueblood son was born and named George Alexander Louis. Fans of Seinfeld rejoiced and aforementioned-merchandise was emblazoned with the title. But, it wasn’t until the October 23 christening that other names being considered were revealed, giving a look into the mindset of the parents. Among the possibilities reportedly were…George Hermann Ruth, George Foreman (who named all his kids “George”), Jeff George, George Blanda, George Steinbrenner (again, a cheer went up from Seinfeld faithful), George Carlin and George Brett, which would have been a sticky wicket. Said one man-servant on condition of anonymity, “There was a brief thought about ‘Charles’… not for the prince of the same name, but rather as in…’Barkley’…We woulda’ called the pudgy-cherub…the crowned pound of rebound!”
Vindicator, who apparently channeled “George of Da’ Jungle” last week, going a mere 9-9 (77-69-4, .527) and will spend the upcoming fortnight fending-off ghosts at the Tower of London, has realized even the Buckingham Palace guards visibly shudder when presented with…
THE WEBER KID’S 2013 WEEK 10 FORECAST
(“This isn’t da’ Junior Chamber of Commerce, Brad!”)
THURS. OCT. 31
WASHINGTON STATE (+11) over #25 Arizona State: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Yeah, yeah…our preferred selections in games involving ranked teams are on 0-5-1 downward-spiral since beginning 3-0. And it’s Thursday night to-boot! We get it! But this has shoot-out written all over it…and maybe the upset…with both Pitchforks’ defeats coming away from Tempe. First choice is “over”, then...ASU 45 Wazzou 41
SAT. NOV. 2
#1 Alabama: IDLE (next vs. LSU)
#2 Oregon: IDLE (next 11/7 @ Stanford)
#7 Miami (+21) over #3 FLORIDA STATE: Miami hasn’t beaten FSU since 2009, but did lose just 23-19 during 2011’s trip to Tallahassee. ‘Canes come in off near-disaster vs. Wake Forest while Seminoles have outscored last three opponents by combined 163-31, including 37-point win at Clemson. Stephen Morris will throw into nation’s best pass D, but Miami ain’t shabby there either. DA’ U needs to stay on the ground and avoid turnovers to have a shot. Two weeks ago, the Ohio State marching band pulled off nifty tribute to Michael Jackson for the anniversary of “Bad”. After recently dodging major NCAA penalties, the ‘Canes brought in those same Buckeyes musicians to perform a halftime rendition of Jacko’s “Smooth Criminal”!...’Noles 34 Miami 24
#4 Ohio State (-30 ½) over PURDUE: OSU 42 Boilermakers 7
#5 Baylor: IDLE (next 11/7 vs. Oklahoma)
#6 Stanford: IDLE (next 11/7 vs. Oregon)
#8 Auburn @ ARKANSAS: OFF. This line opened with Tigers laying 8 and we considered this for lock at that number. Soooeeey Pigs have won big the past two seasons, but this year’s Bacon has gone 1-5 SU/ATS in its past six games (and been outscored 134-17 in most recent three). Auburn could be without starting QB Nick Marshall, but will get adequate play from his back-up if needed. We doubt the bye week did enough for Arkansas to right the ship enough to make this one competitive for 60 minutes.
VIRGINIA (+17) over #9 Clemson: Tigers 31 Cavs 17
#10 MISSOURI (-11 ½) over Tennessee: Maybe a letdown spot for Mizzou, but Vols will put a freshman making his first start under center and Tennessee’s got nobody like Connor Shaw on the bench that could lead a comeback like he did vs. Missouri last week…Tigers 38 Rocky Top 23
#11 LSU: IDLE (next @ Alabama)
Texas-El Paso (+46 ½) over #12 TEXAS A&M: During post-game interviews following win over da’ Commodores last week, Manziel copped to wanting to share an evening-meal most with…Charlie Sheen, Rob Gronkowski and Tiger Woods. Nice. Two addicts and a revered Patriots tight-end. Do ya think NFL scouts have made note of Johnny’s responses fer purposes of the Combine (and we’re guessin’ a similar question has been added to the Wonderlic test!). Ironically, yer humble narrator made a cameo appearance on “30 Rock” and was offered those same three selections in a game of “Marry, Boff, Kill”. We’ll let the faithful readership decide our final order of those choices, but we’re counting on da’ A&M D to determine the spread-decision...Aggies 59 Miners 17
#13 Oklahoma: IDLE (next 11/7 @ Baylor)
#14 SOUTH CAROLINA (-13) over Mississippi State: Gamehens 35 MSU 19
#18 Oklahoma State (+2) over #15 TEXAS TECH: Critics were quick to point-out Red Raiders’ light-schedule before and after 8-point loss at Oklahoma, in which Sooners outscored Tech 17-7 in the 4th Quarter. Tech suffered its first defeat in that game and nothing else about Guns Up schedule excites us. This series has been all Oklahoma State the past three years and State’s already knocked off Mississippi State, TCU, Kansas State and Iowa State. Other than Cowpokes just-8-point halftime lead vs. ISU last week, there’s nothing that compels us to back the home-fave here, in what will be a high-scoring outing…OKSU 44 Texas Tech 37
#16 FRESNO STATE (-20 ½) over Nevada: Reno finally yielded the Fremont Cannon to UNLV for first time in nine years in tightly-contested home-loss. That was pretty-much the extent of Wolfpack’s season, needing three more wins in final games to be bowl-eligible. UNR will be dogs in all four of those. Meanwhile, Bulldogs need to hammer remaining foes to try to keep pace with Northern Illinois for BCS-buster spot. State not stellar on total-defense, as we’ve noted all along, but still 27 notches higher and showing 13 fewer offensive touchdowns-allowed. Bulldogs haven’t covered a home-game in three tries on the season vs. FBS opponents. Wolfpack just 1-3 ATS on the road, though two of those were at UCLA and Florida State…Fresno 48 UNR 23
#17 UCLA (-27 ½) over Colorado: Second choice for lock of da’ week. Bruins, who’ve been stymied the last two games vs. Stanford and Oregon, despite following a week that saw chalk dominate the Top 25, should find plenty of room vs. the visiting Bumbaloes!... UCLA 48 Colorado 14
#19 Central Florida: IDLE (next vs. Houston)
#20 Louisville: IDLE (next 11/8 @ UCONN)
UMASS (+23 ½) over #21 Northern Illinois: Tough call, but we’re staying with our first thought. NIU let off the throttle about a minute into the 4th Quarter in 39-point romp vs. Eastern Michigan, in game that wasn’t even that close, and might just pull starters early here, despite an upcoming bye prior to facing MAC-contenders Ball State and Toledo. UMass coughed up Western Michigan’s first victory on the year, at home…as three-point chalk. Minutemen have met (and lost significantly to) a number of BCS teams, but have shown a reasonable defense in conference play, going 2-2 ATS. Jordan Lynch (#12 in total individual offense) can carry the Sled Dogs by himself, but NIU’s 10-point win at Idaho, 14-point victory at Kent State and 21-pointer at Central Michigan give us some hope the Minutemen can answer the call. Could the Dogs produce “Wish I had it back” results two weeks in a row?!...NIU 37 UMass 17
#22 Wisconsin (-9 ½) over IOWA: Continuing our Rocky Horror Picture Show theme… “Say!...One of you guys know how to…’Madison’?!”…Badgers 31 Hawkeyes 20
#23 Michigan (+4 ½) over #24 MICHIGAN STATE: MINOR UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. Spartans took home the Little Brown Jug four straight times until last season’s 12-10 loss in Ann Arbor. This one looks like it’ll come down to Michigan’s big passing game (263 yards per game) to set up its rushing touchdowns vs. State’s pass-efficiency defense (#2 nationally behind only Virginia Tech). All of Big Blew’s last 5 conference defeats have been on the road. Wolverines must protect the ball better than they have so far…Michigan 27 Michigan State 21
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, had the newest addition to the Queen Mum’s clan been a girl, her name woulda’ been “Georgia”, in honor of the UGA Bulldogs!
Acknowledging Halloween, Colorado State will host Boise State in…Ft. Barnabus Collins! (We’re also wondering which team will get thrown under the Barnabus Collins!)
With outright dubyas by Western Michigan (31-30 @ UMass) and New Mexico State (34-29 over FCS Abby Christian…yeah, they were dancin’ on the streets of Las Cruces after that one), the remaining winless FBS clubs (those without so much as a victory over even a double-A squad) thus far are (in alphabetical order)…Connecticut, Hawaii, Miami-Ohio and Southern Miss.
After initial consideration, the NY Mets decided to forego chasing June All-Star votes from a certain segment of the population that frequents CougarLife.Com (a website that features older women who prefer the company of significantly-younger guys and who made 3B David Wright their …uh… ”flavor-of-the-month” ). Given the horror of the Mets win-loss streak at the time, we think FreddyKruger.Com mighta’ been a more apropos choice of endorsements!
During Media Day festivities prior to the Super Bowl XLVII, Ravens LB Terrell Suggs serenaded attendees with Meatloaf’s “I Would Do Anything for Love”. Coulda’ been worse. He coulda’ opted for said-artist’s “Hot Patootie: Whatever Happened to Saturday Night?” from Rocky Horror Picture Show! (“’Brad!’ ‘Dr. Scott!’ ‘Janet!’ *Vindy*! ‘Rocky!’ (stare) ‘Dr. Scott!’ ‘Janet!’ *Vindy*!” ‘Adriannnnne!’ “Rocky!‘(stare) ‘Brad!’…)
Rumor has it there’s registration of a trademark-moniker known as da’ “Washington Bravehearts” on behalf of D.C.’s pro gridiron team??!! Oh sure…following accusations of racial-insensitivity/political-incorrectness, the Redskins are gonna’ switch to a nickname who’s poster-child is…Mel Gibson???!!! “They *may* take our *lives*...but they’ll never take…our free-safetyyyyyyyy!!!!”
As the most-interesting man in da’ world, Vindy doesn’t always throw his challenge-flag…but when he does… replay-officials up in da’ booth automatically reverse the call on da’ field!
Jeopardy response for da’ Sports before-and-after category for this clue: Federal closure that leads to no receptions made against this player. What is…”Government shutdown-corner???!!”
And finally…Vindy’s Picks is still easier to use than HealthCare.gov!
Black Shirt: Goes this week to Tide DB Landon Collins for a back-breakin’ 89-yard pick-six just before the intermission vs. Tennessee that ultimately led to a forecast-win instead of a push.
“Wish I Had That One Back”: We called it last week! We’d like a mulligan on Eastern Michigan +30 ½ over NIU after we changed our initial pick and but still bothered by the gaudy number of points given up recently by the Eagles.
“Locked in a Box?”: Even after Auburn lost its starting QB, the FAU Owls couldn’t stay within the number, dropping the tally (again!) to 3-5-1 (.375).
Shoppe Talk: The Seminoles and Cardinal are off da’ hook for now, but after trashing the alma mater, the Suckeyes of Ohio State are now 1-4-1 (.200). Meanwhile the Spooners of Oklahoma come in at 2-6 (.250 and on a 0-4 slide), with in-state rival Oklahoma State on notice at 2-4 (.333).
Vindy’s Week 10 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-1-1 Season: 26-14-1 (.650)
HOUSTON -17 ½ over South Florida (THURS), GEORGIA STATE +19 ½ over Western Kentucky, Middle Tennessee State -4 ½ over UAB, AKRON -1 over Kent State, Tulane +4 over FLORIDA ATLANTIC, Texas-San Antonio +3 ½ over TULSA (And showin’ some intestinal fortitude this week…or at least just some intestines for Halloween…we also like: Rice +4 ½ over NORTH TEXAS [THURS], MARSHALL -28 ½ over Southern Miss, Minnesota +9 ½ over INDIANA, East Carolina -23 over FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL)
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