COLLEGE
ZEBRAS SUCK LIFE OUT OF NFL GAMES
PITTSBURGH,
Pennsylvania (UPI)…Fans, players and coaches are frustrated
with the significant uptick in penalties being called, but their irritations are
misdirected at league rules-changes. Ahead of the Rebels’ Mountain West opener
at San Diego State, head coach Bobby Hauck publically-rued being
heavily-flagged by MAC and American Athletic officials during the
non-conference schedule after the 2013 season saw UNLV finish among the
least-penalized teams in the country. The Vegas squad drew eight hankies for
just 32 yards against the Aztecs, but it appears crews from the aforementioned-conferences
dotted the NFL landscape on Sunday,
combining to throw 90 flags for more than 7 football fields worth of distance
in just five of the eleven pro
stadiums in action, including a gaudy 22-hankie outing here in the Iron City during
the Steelers’ loss to Tampa Bay!
BETWEEN
THE HASHMARKS
Honoring Stephen King’s birthday (September 21, 1947),
ENCORE played flicks from the Stephen King Collection every night last
month. We enjoyed watchin’ “Children of Da’ Cornhuskers”,
“The Dark Halftime”, “The Mean Green Mile” (filmed in the North
Texas locker room), “The Running Back
Man”, “Goal-Line-Stand By Me”, “Yards
Per Carrie” and of course…“The Shawshanked-Punt Redemption”!
Speakin’ of Chitlins
of Da’ Corn, we took in the Appalachian State-Joja’ Southern tilt on
Thursday night. The Mountaineers feature a WR named Malachi Jones. Don’t get us
wrong…we understand the whole religious, prophet, etc. affiliation. But after
“Children of the Corn” came out in hardback in 1977 and the subsequent horror
flick in 1984, we’re wonderin’ why any parent since then would name their kid
“Malachi”!!!! “Outlanderrrr! We have yer womannnn!”
The State of Kansas has proclaimed October as
“Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness Month”, going on the premise that if the general
population can be ready to react to a zombie-outbreak, then they’ll also be
prepared to handle other disasters. The protocol is already being implemented
given the condition of the Jayhawks football season. KU squeaked by I-AA
Southeast Mizzou State 34-28 and beat the Chippies of Central Michigan by two
touchdowns, but were blasted by Duke and shut-out by Texas (scoring a total of
27 points in its three FBS tilts), tallying its 41st loss in 43
conference games (and counting!), leading to dismissal of former coach Charlie
Weis. A quick peek at the remaining slate says the Blewbirds have seen their
last outright victory on the year!
Last month, Russian president Vladimir Putin hoped
to cripple corporate America economically by banning chicken imports as payback
for international sanctions. Despite nominally-higher prices, U.S. consumers
are still purchasin’ chicken at a just-slightly
lower-than-usual pace, while impoverished Soviet citizens find themselves
seriously-missin’ said game-hens. In fact, the only poultry-boycott goin’ on this side of the Atlantic is being
conducted by fans of South Carolina’s football team, which already has two
games in the loss-column following its late 21-20 defeat by Missouri, leaving
the Fightin’ Fowls’ record at 3-2 outright and 1-4 against da’ spread!
On a more serious note, we render a heart-felt
Vindicator salute to the Mallards of Oregon, who will sport black-and-pink
jerseys with pink numbers and pink names on the back of said-jerseys and cleats
to match on Thursday night vs. Arizona, honoring Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
With the baseball playoffs
underway, we note the Arizona Diamondbacks faced the L.A. Dodgers in a two-game
series played in Australia to open the Major League season. Just wonderin’ if
players had to run the bases clockwise and if curve balls broke in the opposite
direction they do in the U.S.?!
We thank Iowa State (+21)
for pushing vs. Baylor and Maryland (+4) for “upsetting” Indiana on the road,
while Duke (+7) lost by a dozen at Miami to cost us a parlay win, wasting a big
win by Temple (-6) at UConn!
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