ILLICIT
PICKS SPUR PRISON INVESTIGATION
NEW
YORK (Reuters)…The
inmate, who spoke to media on conditions of anonymity for obvious reasons,
finally blew the whistle on various personnel at Ryker’s Island. The unnamed
snitch said, ”Booze…drugs….sharp instruments?…Okay. Vindy’s
Picks?! Hey, Man…I may be a jailbird, but I have standards.” The subsequent investigation revealed a system-wide
epidemic of misconduct. The resulting inquiry led to revelation of massive
corruption and correctional officers on the take, smuggling in contraband in
exchange for major “bank”. The infamous forecaster’s prognostications were not
banned entirely, but were allowed solely post-Saturday
for entertainment-purposes only!
BETWEEN
THE HASHMARKS
(More distracting than Katarina Sreckovic!)
On the heels of Veterans Day, saluting our
servicemen and servicewomen around the world again, we propose “Stripes” meets football as we hear Bill Murray’s
character, graduating Basic Training,
say...”Back-to-back sacks!”
We downloaded the Domino’s Pizza app to our
smart-phone…Wasn’t long before the conversation went like this…”What’s the spread on ‘BAMA-Mississippi State, Dom?” “How
‘bout I spread some tomato sauce on
your pizza, Vin?” “Dom, what do you
think of Vindy’s Picks? We don’t put pickles on…pizza. “How do I beat da’ bookies, Dom?”. “Why don’t you boogie on down to Domino’s for some pizza?!”
We remember why we threw in the towel pickin’ Top 25
games this season, going just 1-4 in the tilts we analyzed and forecast. In
happier news, our 8 other predictions went a nice 7-1, with only Joja’ Southern
-11 over TEXAS STATE failing to cash, and allowing us to win a pair of 2-teams
parlays. Why in the world we tried a
three-teamer featuring Iowa State -3 ½ (lost by 20???!!!) at KANSAS, Utep +7 ½ (lost by 8) at WESTERN KENTUCKY and
DA’ IGGLES -6 (won by 24) vs. Carolina, none of which wee among those eight
selections, is still beyond us! Rubles
already down this week on…East Carolina -2 ½ over CINCINNATI (Thurs), Temple
+10 ½ over da’ NIFTY LIONS, WESTERN KY -10 over Army, Missouri +4 ½ over TEXAS
A&M and UTEP -6 ½ over North Texas. Still getting’ a good, hard look… Cal
+14 over USC (Fri), NC STATE -14 ½ over Wake Forest, ILLINOIS +5 ½ over Iowa, ,
RUTGERS -7 ½ over Indiana, UTAH STATE -17 over New Mexico, MIAMI +1 ½ over
Florida State, CENTRAL MICHIGAN -15 over Miami-Ohio, Memphis -11 over TULANE,
Mississippi State +7 ½ over ALABAMA, Texas -2 ½ over OKLAHOMA STATE,
Anybody else out there notice two major sport teams
from Philly both played the Panthers
last week?! The Flyers played the Florida
Panthers (winning 4-1) Thursday night on the ice, while Da’ Iggles blasted
Carolina 45-21 (as noted above) in a
Monday Night Football home-game that wasn’t even that close!
Speaking of the Panthers-EAGLES contest, we heard
Jon Gruden reference “Escape from L.A.” protagonist Snake Plissken. Said hero
also saved the mayor of New York in the original flick of the series “Escape
From New York”. During that movie (set in1997), the mayor’s character was
forced to say…”*Duke*…Aaaa-Number One!” Not even close at the time, but
the Blue Devils have gotten
competitive since then!
With college hoops
underway this week, we note Dickie V gushed on Twitter about his fandom of
Lionel Richie and the Commodores. Just wonderin’ if any of Vitale’s
pre-game/halftime speeches he gave included, “Nobody comes into our Brick…House…and pushes us around!” On a related thought, after a string
of sports-betting ties, does a sportsbook manager gather his folks and tell
‘em, “Nobody comes into our house and
‘pushes’ us around!”???!!!
On the small screen….a TLC reality show about bridal apparel meets Joja’ Tech’s college
hoops squad in…”Say ‘Yes’ to Da’ Press:
Atlanta!” Until next week…happy pickin’, Sportsfans!
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