OUR
LADY DELAYS FORECASTER’S CANDY SHOWER
LOS ANGELES (UPI)…Seattle running back Marshawn Lynch has
his “Beast Mode”. Vindy’s Picks has led
to a plethora of prayers, and was thus dubbed “Priest Mode”!!! In related news, Lynch professed his preference for
Skittles. Meanwhile, fellow bettors have
been awaiting the opportunity pelt the Sin City Soothsayer with Necco wafers should he actually hit a
winning three-team parlay bet! In a late decision this past holiday weekend,
the fab forecaster put NC State (+6) over NORTH CAROLINA, Washington (-3 ½)
over WASHINGTON STATE and what he thought was the strongest call of the attempted hat-trick…Fightin’ Irish (+7) over USC…on the same ticket. The Wolf Pack
crushed the Tarheels outright, UDUB had no problem winning the Apple Cup by
double-digits at Wazzou, but the Catholics of Notre Dame got their Mass handed to them in a 49-14 road loss,
putting the celebratory barrage-of-sweets on-hold yet again!
BETWEEN
THE HASHMARKS
(Hotter than a Lindsey Lohan court outfit!)
BTW, apparently Manti Te’o’s fictional girlfriend led the Leprechauns fictional
football team vs. the Trojans in the
above-noted contest!
The Hustler
strip club here in the world’s gambling-Mecca has applied for a sports book license! Will there be complimentary
lap-dances throughout the games for customers with proof of a $20 parlay or $50
straight-bet???!!!! Dancers wearing little-more than cleats and eye-black will
also gyrate atop a faux goal-post rather than pole-dance!! Maybe they’ll adopt
the Downtown Vegas casino dealer-tainers
concept and women will dance atop the counters between shifts of taking bets!
After seein’ the commercial several times over the
weekend, we’ve decided…Old Spice has made
a man of our waterboy!
The College Football Pantheon (the true meaning of the CFP acronym, as opposed to College
Football Playoff, as ESPN would
have us believe!) was basically kind
to your humble host in Week 14. Western
Kentucky +21 over MARSHALL (Fri) pulled the upset, Ball State (+9 ½) also took
home a straight-up triumph over BOWLING GREEN (Fri) in conjunction with
Nebraska (+1) over IOWA (Fri), while Cincinnati (-7) beat TEMPLE by 8 and Joja’
Tech (+12 ½) also toppled JOJA’ to cash three of our four wagers. Our remaining Week 14 selections went
2-1. We even cashed our first
attempted college hoops bet, getting covers from Valpo (-1 ½, won by 15) over
Portland and Monmouth (+14 ½, lost by an even dozen) against SMU. Slim pickin’s this week with only a few
remaining regular-season finales and a handful of conference championships
on-tap, but we prefer: Houston +6 ½ over CINCINNATI (We‘re grateful for Cincy’s
marginal-cover vs. the Owls last week, but Bearkats have been inconsistent);
Weeziana Tech +13 ½ over MARSHALL (Herd had been annihilating the competition
in a paper-thin C-USA conglomerate until it met a solid team of Hilltoppers and
dropped a wild 67-66 OT tilt on Friday. Tech is a live-dog and flags could be
huge, with Bulldogs suffering just half as many hankies and for about half the
penalty-yardage as Marshall) and Fresno State (+20 1/2) over BOISE STATE in a battle
for the Mountain Jest crown (Fresno started slowly but is on a three-game SU
win-streak, including a 20-point battering of Reno on the road. Boise’s not
going to benefit from style-points and simply needs a victory to reach 11 wins and
secure a Fiesta Bowl berth. Bulldogs not getting any respect and represent a
down West division, but will play loose in an effort to avoid 1st
potential losing-season since 2011).
BTW, we think ‘Bama kicker Adam Griffith (12 of 18,
66.7%) suited-up fer the NY Jets on Monday night!
How bad is
Wake Forest’s basketball squad this year???!!! Da’ Forest (Gump?!) lost back-to-back
home games to Minnesota by 15 and Delaware State (our old stompin’ grounds) by
7 to go 2-4 in last 6???!!! Gonna’ be a tough season for the Deacs!
We caught the following AP headline in Sunday’s
paper…”Obama buys 17 books on ‘Small Business Saturday’”. Looks like he’s planning to handle a boatload
of sports-wagers when his time in the White House comes to an end!
And finally…the football program at
Alabama-Birmingham (AKA UAB) just got a pink-slip and FBS rookie-turned-Stun
Belt Champion Joja’ Southern will not get a post-season berth despite a 9-3
overall record and 8-0 conference tally. The Grinch is alive and well in the
NCAA!
Back next week with some thoughts on Army-Navy!
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