EMERALD CITY ACQUIRES NHL SQUAD
SEATTLE, Washington (AP)…The local Chamber-of-Commerce recently-announced Seattle would soon be home to a professional hockey team. While the moniker is still undecided, anonymous officials close to the process have indicated the nickname will be the Seattle Kraken and a Poseidon-character will be the team-mascot. Rather than lobbing traditional-octopi on the playing surface to signify the eight wins required to reach the Stanley Cup, fans will toss giant squids onto the ice! The club’s promotions-department also plans to film multiple segments of the creature-in-question arising from Puget Sound and show them on the Jumbo-Tron during pre-game warm-ups! And in the event that all of the home-team's goalies are unable to go, the Times headline will read “Keeper-Less in Seattle”!
Speaking about bodies of water, Navy salvaged a push as a 7-point ‘dog to Army, but Vindy got in on the action early, grabbing the Earth Pigs at –6 ½, allowing him to finally cash a ticket! Doin’ his best Elvis-impersonation, Vindy croons he wants to see “a little less conversation...a little more play-action" from...
THE WEBER KID’S 2018-19 BOWL PREDICTIONS FORECAST: PART I
(Sponsored this week by Bud Light and showing its “guests to the wine-cellar"!)
DEC. 15
NEW MEXICO BOWL (@Albuquerque, NM)
North Texas (+7 ½) over Utah State: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #1. Aggies had a solid year, but failed in attempt to take the Mountain Jest crown. Mean Green pummeled SEC Arkansas...in Fayetteville...and will look to recover from being blasted by Troy in the 2017 post-season. USU whacked BYU in Provo, but lost SU to Akron while laying more than a touchdown...North Texas 34 Aggies 31
AUTO NATION CURE BOWL (@ Orlando, FL)
Tulane (-3 ½) over Louisiana-Lafayette: Green Wave barely-eligible for bowl, escaping Navy 29-28, ahead of the Boat People’s looming-melee vs. Army. Cajuns, who lost Stun-Belt title bid to App State, gave their best-effort in 47-43 victory over Arkansas State. ULL is prolly just content to play somewhere other than New Orleans (last five bowls have been there). Lotsa’ seniors on the Wave sideline...Tulane 30 Ragin’ Cajuns 23
MITSUBISHI MOTORS LAS VEGAS BOWL (@Las Vegas, NV)
Arizona State (+5) over #19 Fresno State: Bulldogs recovered to drop Boise State for MWC crown in extras 19-16 and went 9-2 “under” (just missing a 10th below the number). In NC-play, Fresno bested Toledo and thrashed UCLA (but then...who didn’t??!!). Devils nice 38-20 defeat of Utah counts for something, but...FSU West 23 ASU 20
RAYCOM CAMELLIA MEDIA BOWL (@Montgomery, AL)
Eastern Michigan (+2) over Georgia Southern: Joja’ Sudden was an enigma this year...coin-toss against totals, beat Fun Belt champ Application State by 20, lost to Troy by 14, knocked-off Arkie State by 7 and squeezed 3-9 Texas State 15-13. EMU got by Purdue, who kept Ohio State from the CFP, 20-19 in West Lafayette, and finished well, taking five of last six on the scoreboard. Iggles have covered 13 of last 16 non-MAC match-ups and fell-just-shy of a Phil Steele Most Improved Team tag...EMU 41 Georgia Southern 31
R&L CARRIERS NEW ORLEANS BOWL (@ New Orleans, LA)
Middle Tennessee State (+7) over Appalachian State: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #2. We started the season thinking App State looked pretty-thin on paper, but ‘Eers OT loss in Happy Valley to begin the year shoulda’ been our first-clue otherwise. ASU’s only-remaining defeat came at fellow-bowler Georgia Southern. Blue Raiders narrowly-lost CUSA championship and have faced Vandy and Georgia, while covering at Kentucky. We’ll take the strength-of-schedule over the SU win-loss record and Mountaineers’ crapshoot-record vs. non-conference contestants...MTSU 29 App State 27
DEC. 18
CHERIBUNDI BOCA RATON BOWL (@ Boca Raton, FL)
Alabama-Birmingham vs. Northern Illinois (“under 43 ½”): Blazers in second post-season outing since reinstating the gridiron program two seasons ago, losing only at Coastal Carolina in early September and posting remaining-loss at Texas A&M. Huskies dismal on neutral-site, winning just two of last nine in that capacity, including last five post-season opportunities (four by DD). Collectively, these two clubs went 17-8 “under” the total, including 11 below this one...UAB 20 NIU 18
DEC. 19
DXL FRISCO BOWL (@Frisco, TX)
Ohio (-3) over San Diego State: Aztecs, unexpectedly, were not much of a factor in Mountain Jest race and coughed-up one of UNLV’s three outright victories...at Qualcomm Stadium. Sudzu, as always, excels at stopping the run, but Frank Solich’s charges boast 8th-best ground attack, hitting pay-dirt 38 times. OU QB Rourke also stands-in at 13th-nationally in passing yards, leading Ohio to its spot as the 10th-best scoring offense at north of 41 ppg...Ohio 31 SDSU 23
DEC. 20
BAD BOY MOWERS GASPARILLA BOWL (@ Tampa, FL)
Marshall (-2 ½) over South Florida: Bulls’ season looked promising with seven straight SU wins early, but come in dragging both legs and an arm, finishing with five consecutive losses. USF has beaten 12 of last 13 non-conference opponents, but again adding to that tally before the spiral. Herd has won its last five bowls outright and should do so here fairly easily, using its 9th-ranked rush D, which allows about half the ground-yardage averaged by South Florida’ 35th-ranked rushing offense...We Are Marshall 34 USF 20
DEC. 21
MAKERS WANTED BAHAMAS BOWL (@ Nassau, Bahamas)
Florida Interational vs. Toledo (“under 68): Space Force 24 Panthers 21
FAMOUS IDAHO POTATO BOWL (@ Boise, ID)
Western Michigan vs. Brigham Young (“under 49”): Best guess fer “wish we had it back” as Broncos went 6-5 “over” and ended nine (count ‘em, nine!) contests higher than this total, but Coogs went “under” in 7 of 10 (6 below this total). We figure Mormons won’t get lured into swappin’ sixes with WMU...BYU 30 Western Michigan 13
DEC. 22
JARED BIRMINGHAM BOWL (@ Birmingham, AL)
Wake Forest (+4) over Memphis: MINOR UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. The coin likes...Deacs 37 Tigers 33
LOCKHEED MARTIN ARMED FORCES BOWL (@ Ft. Worth, TX)
#22 Army vs. Houston (“under 61”): Long Grey Line is 6-5 “over” but have no finishes above this total and saw themselves drawn into just one track-meet...31-30 home-post triumph over Miami-Uh-Oh. Coogs show all dozen matches “over” this number, most of ‘em easily (all but four foes tallied 26 or more), including 49-36 win vs. Navy’s version of the option (but we know how Sailors’ season went, don’t we?!). UH staggers-in losing three of final four regular-season contests, including 51-32 defeat at Memphis while getting 7 ½. Houston beat South Florida in only other ranked-opponent game, however again, Bulls made the post-season, but...Cougars line-up the #107th-ranked scoring-D at 34.4 ppg-against. Ground-Pounders yielded just 18 ppg...Hudson River Rats 31 Coogs 24
DOLLAR GENERAL BOWL (@ Mobile, AL)
Troy (+2) over Buffalo: Trojans 31 Bulls 27
SOFI HAWAI’I BOWL (Honolulu, HI)
Louisiana Tech (+1 ½) over HAWAI’I: LOCK OF DA’ BOWLS...Warriors walked-away with scoreboard triumphs five times in seven tries on the Island. Bulldogs’ SU losses came by 7 in Baton Rouge, 42 in Starkville and 1 at SoMiss...LT 39 ‘Bows 34
BETWEEN DA’ HASHMARKS:
Jet City officials have denied rumors that prior to each home-game, the Kraken-faithful will have to offer a sacrifice!
The team will also be a licensed-vendor of merchandise for the original 1981 version of “Clash of the Titans” and will carry such items, including a Medusa plush-toy, complete with glowing-eyes that petrify those who meets its gaze!
The Kraken has already secured employees of the Pike Market to throw said-seafood back-and-forth on the ice between the periods!
Bizarre-random thought...do hockey-players on Tinder gets two-minutes in the Sin Bin fer...hooking-up?
Bizarre random-thought #2 (that woulda’ fit better in our Halloween-week predictions, but)...If the Keydets turned into werewolves every full-moon, would we see the “long grey lycanthropes”???!!!
Black Shirt: The coveted-tee goes to Army LB Kenneth Brinson for taking an obvious pass-interference penalty, preventing an easy touchdown by Navy on its first-possession. The Middies would eventually punt instead. Honorable mention to USN QB Zach Abey for the early-4th Quarter fumble, leading to Army’s decisive-score, allowing the Platoon to push!
Vindy’s Bowl Predictions Part I Best Bets: Last Week: 0-0 Season: 30-29-1 (.508)
Fresno State-Arizona State “under 53 ½”, Eastern Michigan vs. Joja’ Sudden “over 48”, Army –3 over Houston, Louisiana Tech-HAWAI'I “over 60”
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