DISTURBING TREND AROUND COVETED-HARDWARE EMERGES
TAMPA, Florida (REUTERS)...In the several-months' since Tom Brady’s post-Super Bowl victory no-look toss of the Lombardi Trophy set a new willy-nilly precedent has become the new norm for airborne-treatment of awards from T-Ball leagues to the professional ranks including Gold Gloves, Olympic medals, the Miss America tiara, Scout merit badges, high school diplomas, college degrees and the Oscars! The NFL is purportedly considering making it a drill as part of the annual Combine. The “tradition” has also seemingly pervaded social events outside the sports-world. In fact, a bride was recently seen throwing her wedding ring, instead of her bouquet, with so much loft that it was fair-caught by the receiving single-lady in the reception hall, who drew a flag on another female-guest for “interfering with the ability to catch” the jewelry-in-question!
Following his back-to-back 2-3 outings (11-9, .550), we drove da’ KIA Soul gansta’-hamsta’-mobile to da’ north-end of da’ Las Vegas Strip, schlepped a duffel-bag of equipment up da’ stairs of da’ Strat (the elevators were “mysteriously ‘outta-order’ per the sportsbook manager!) and haphazardly-let-fly our crystal ball, tea leaves, Tarot-cards and darts over da’ guard-rail, then stuffed several rolls of memorial state-specific quarters into da’ Zoltan fortune-teller booth-machine to gather predictions to create...
THE WEBER KID’S 2021 WEEK 5 FORECAST
(Hopin’ to re-create the whole GEICO “burpin’ da’ baby” trick-play touchdown-thing!)
SAT. OCT. 2
#12 Mississippi @ #1 ALABAMA (“over 79 ½”): Lane Kiffin seemed none-to-pleased with College Gameday will air from “Between Da’ Hedges” for Razorbacks-’Dawgs’ melee rather than Tuscaloosa. Maybe a little added-motivation fer his guys?! Tide pulled one out in the Swamp, but the cloak-of-invincibility is stained. Gut-reaction when we initially saw that total was “Nawww, way too high.” But to quote, Lee Corso...”Not so fast, my friends!”. Upon further review, the last games in this series have produced final combined tallies of 69, 90 and (GASP!) 111! Rebels have fared well, situationally, getting points the past three seasons. Ole Miss’s best triumph to-date was 43-24 victory over Louisville on neutral-ground. Tide tuned-up for this by whackin’ Sudden Missed (1-3 SU, only win coming vs. Grambling, lost decisively at South ‘Bama and to Troy, who went down to a poor Weeziana-Mongo club (winless in 10 tries in ‘20 and slid past FCS Jackson State 12-7 earlier, as mentioned in a previous edition of da’ Picks!) last week. Prior to the season, Phil Steele blessed the Rebels’ O-line as one of the best in conference. Whatever else was happening, this one appears to bring out Da’ Fast and Da’ Furious from both sides... Crimson Glide 48 Mississippi 35
#6 Oklahoma (-10 ½) over KANSAS STATE: Best guess for “wish we had it back” as only DD-win came vs. I-AA Western Carolina, Spooners are 0-3 ATS in lined-games, taking said-contests by cumulative 15-points, and snooze-worthy 8-point triumph over FCS Salukis still weighs upon our mind. Difference between K-State's rate of passing-yardage allowed and Sooners passing-yardage success is nominal. Senior QB Skylar Thompson needs some help from those youngins around him. WildKats spent some time sniffin’ just below the rankings until 11-point loss in Stillwater. Having noted all that, Purple Persians handed the Norman Nomads just one of just two defeats in ‘20 that likely kept them from da’ play-offs. Sponsored by AT&T, “because just OK is not OK”. Covered Wagons 34 Wildcats on a Hot Tin Roof 17
Western Kentucky @ #17 MICHIGAN STATE (“under 64”): Hilltoppers’ HC Helton is in his 3rd-season in charge but has just 10 returning starters back. WKU had faced only a pair of Top 25 foes over the previous three campaigns, but show decent 4-2 ATS record against Power Five teams in that time. Line is prolly being influenced by recent shootout losses to Army and Indy (by a cumulative margin of 5 points, with both “over” the posted total). On the other sideline, none of State’s four matches thus-far finished beyond 59, including Nebraska tilt that went to OT and end up at 43. We passed on layin’ da’ points as MSU has now covered just once in a dozen tries as the home fave. Spartans’ offense is not quite synonymous with “explosive”, reflecting average points-scored of 19, 22 and 18 ppg entering ‘21. Trip to Rutgers looms and we can’t fathom State giving the folks in Piscataway anything more than vanilla stuff to watch on film. Michigan State is allowing just 18 ppg at the moment. For the “Lord of the Rings” fans we quip, “One does not simply walk into East Lansing and expect to score copious points.”...Spartans 31 Western Kentucky 23
LSU (-3 ½) over 22 Auburn: Spread has moved slightly in favor of Auburn. We get that. We suppose Aubie can’t be blamed fer bein’ asleep at the wheel vs. Joja’ State (Iggles were down a dozen at the intermission) allowin’ fer sandwich-spot between tough-loss in Happy Valley and this match in Death Valley (though SEC officials ain’t exactly makin’ friends and influencin’ people outside da’ conference thus far). Prior to last season’s 48-11 demise to Auburn, LSU-Auburn series last four had been decided by 5 or fewer. Bengals are below the radar, having won three-straight on da’ down-scoreboard on da’ down-low since unexpected-defeat at UCLA. While 0-3 ATS last trey of Top 25 Opponents, 28-25 win at Mississippi State and #2 Most Improved Team label in preseason by Phil Steele and experience on both sides of da’ ball leads us to portend...Bengals 34 War Beagle 27
Boston College (+15) over #25 CLEMSON: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. Right about now Jeff Spicoli, AKA Jags’ QB Trevor Lawrence, and his former teammates wish he was still touchin’ Howard’s Rock on Saturdays. Tigers are in disarray, particularly on offense, losing twice and covering none of their trio of lined games. Granted, Catholics’ first two contests were routs against I-AA Colgate and UMess, but 25-point win at Temple followed by nice OT triumph vs. Mizzou has given the Eagles first 4-0 SU beginning since 2007 (in which they reeled-off an 8-0 start). If Tigresses win and cover here, we’ll respectfully tip our helmet to them, but we don’t think so. At no extra charge, we’re calling da’ straight-up win for the underdog...Golden Iggles 24 Clementine 20
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, while Tom Brady’s brazen-disrespect for the Lombardi Trophy post-Super Bowl victory in February, putting some air under the hardware-in-question brought much-dismay among NFL fans across the nation, regardless of team-affiliation, aghast, the GOAT, did, in fact, connect with fave target TE Rob Gronkowski with a no-look, over the shoulder pass, in the end zone fer a touchdown!
Size Matters: In a follow-up to our comments last week regarding a certain Purdue tradition, Vindy’s spies say Boilermakers coaches are drawing-up a trick-play in which a uniform is placed on the oversized percussion instrument so it can report-in on the field as a “bass-drum eligible” for this week’s contest vs. Minnesota!
During a live-broadcast on Monday night, Eli Manning, while discussing being double flipped-off by a 9-year-old Philly Iggles’ fan in his playing-days, egged-on by brother Peyton, demonstrated the gesture by raising both middle-fingers too quickly for ESPN to edit the segment. Eli offered a mia culpa shortly thereafter, but stay tuned for future-episodes in which the former NYG quarterback thumbs his nose, flashes the Italian “figure-four” and performs the “This is our weapon, this is our gun. This one’s fer fighting, this one’s fer fun.” scene from Full-Metal Jacket (and reprised briefly in the Child’s Play 3 horror-flick).
In August, Vikes’ QB Kirk Cousins declared he would “pass” on the COVID-19 shots but would deploy Plexiglas around his body to separate himself safely from teammates in the quarterback room. That makes us wonder...if gridiron athletes get caught trying to covertly administer shots to opposing players during or after a play is whistled dead, do they draw a flag fer “unsportsmanlike vaccination”??!! Do the victims-in-question get 15 extra-arms and an automatic 1st-Down??!!
During the 4th-Quarter of the Thursday Night Football game between da’ Jags and da’ Bengals, QB Trevor Lawrence swapped out his helmet. Given Cincy’s second-half surge to erase a two-TD hole at halftime and win 24-21, we’re wonderin’ if T-Law was hearing his coach’s play-calls or just soothing rainstorms, waves crashin’ on da’ beach, or maybe...ABBA tunes?!
Capital One and Discover Card both have a “cash-back”. Just wonderin’ where those positions line-up on da’ field?!
Hooray fer Da’ Little Guy: Again, none of our proposed upsets by I-AA teams came through, though Richmond lost respectably 21-10 at Virginia Tech. Unranked Charleston Sudden just missed, losing 31-28 at East Carolina.
With preseason hockey underway, we beg da’ question...if members of the IRS take the ice to boost the economy, is there eventually “a stimulus-check and a beauty!”???!!!
For the most part, we considered our high school geometry class to be useless, but at least we understand what the goalie’s trapezoid is!
Black Shirt: This week’s terrific-tee goes to Texas-San Antonio K Hunter Duplessis fer 42-yd FG as time expired to beat Memphis after Beep-Beeps rallied from 1st-stanza 3-TD deficit!
“Locked in a Box: Our most-preferred selection goes to 4-0 (1.000) behind Scarlet Knights near-upset of Meeshigan!
Wish We Had It Back: Yep, we wanna’ revisit our choice of Unlv @ FRESNO STATE call of “under
58 ½”...after scribin’...“Maybe there’s something to the Bulldogs after all considering upset of UCLA, but the victory came in the waning-seconds and portends a letdown here, almost leading us to grab the 31 points.”
Shoppe Talk: Fresno State, following B2B forecast losses (0-2. 000), get engraved-invitations to be stuffed and wall-trophies at da’ Shoppe!
Vindy’s Week 5 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-3 Season: 8-8-1 (.500)
Bowling Green @ KENT STATE “under 56”, JOJA’ SUDDEN –2 over Arkansas State, Liberty +2 over UAB, South Florida +20 over SMU
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