FORECASTER
STANDS-UP FOR PAGEANT HOST
LAS
VEGAS, Nevada (BBC)…Hours after Steve Harvey, facilitating
the Miss Universe Pageant here in Sin City, misspoke and erroneously called
Miss Columbia the winner, leading to a social-media firestorm, the Vegas Vindicator
quickly-rose to the comedian’s defense, noting “Vindy’s Picks inaccurately declares victors on a weekly basis
throughout the season!”. Despite the on-air miscue, Harvey, host of the Family Feud game-show, has been invited
to oversee who gets the opening-possession of the College Playoff National
Championship Game. The traditional coin-toss will be set-aside in favor of
having a player from each team try to buzz-in and correctly identify “one of
the top-five answers on the scoreboard” based on a poll of 100 people. The
winning side will have the option to “play or pass”!
Sleepwalking early, we could only muster 5-7 (.417) for
Part I of the predictions. Vindy’s gonna’
make like Elsa in “Frozen” and “let
it go”! Right between that Fisher-Price Tribble Me Olaf Nerf-Drone and
the Star Wars “Darkside” Covergirl make-up kit (Ooooie, Chewie, Wookieful! “Eye..am your Liner”?!!?
The Eye-Liner Strikes Back?!), you’ll
find a nicely-wrapped gift-box containing…
THE
WEBER KID’S 2015-16 BOWL PREDICTIONS (PART DEUX)
(Now
Gruden-free for those with allergies
to a certain former-coach!)
DEC.
26
ST.
PETERSBURG BOWL (@ St. Petersburg, FL)
Marshall
vs. Connecticut (“under 45”): Herd 23 UConn 16
HYUNDAI
SUN BOWL (@ El Paso, TX)
Washington
State (-3) over Miami: ‘Canes allowed one fewer passing
scores (14) than interceptions (15). Not sure even that ratio will be enough to fend-off Wazzou’s air attack (first
runner-up to only Bowling Green). Neither team runs the ball effectively (Coogs
dead-last, Da’ U comes in at #112). ‘Canes committed second-most penalties
nationally. Mike Leach is finally getting production from his charges. ‘Canes
took four of last five following dismissal of then-coach Al Golden in wake of
fitty-eight-nada loss to Clemson. Hopin’ for another Miami flag-fest because
State allowed at least 24 points to all but two opponents…Cougars 37 Pelicans
30
ZAXBY’S
HEART OF DALLAS BOWL (Dallas, TX)
Southern
Mississippi (+8) over Washington (55 ½): Just guessin’
da’ Huskies expended all their emotional-energy annihilating rival-Cougars in
the Apple Cup clash. Chris Petersen again finds himself in unenviable position
as bowl-chalk for second-straight
year. Golden Eagles are relevant again for first time in four years and Coach
Monken has to be stoked to not be at
Army. Can’t call the upset here, but taking more than a touchdown and XP with a
run-heavy team of Eagles is attractive against fitty-fitty, unreliable Sled
Dogs…Washington 37 USM 32
NEW
ERA PINSTRIPE BOWL (@ Bronx, NY)
Duke
(+2 ½) over Indiana: Blue Devils 40 Indy 34
CAMPING
WORLD INDEPENDENCE BOWL (@Shreveport, LA)
Tulsa
(+14) over Virginia Tech: Venerable-coach Frank Beamer is
throwin’ in da’ towel after 29 seasons and 23 straight post-season appearances.
VT struggled early and put three of final four in the dubya-column to extend
the streak of bowls. Hurricanes play beyond the regular-season again after
winning just a total of five games over the previous two years, likely in part
to correcting a dismal -18 turnover-ratio to +2 this season. Pickin’ a total
would be challenging since Tech finished “under” in 7 of last 8, while Tulsa,
who lost respectably at final-four contestant Oklahoma by 14, went “over” in 5
of last 7 tilts…Hokies 31 Tulsa 24
FOSTER
FARMS BOWL (@ Santa Clara, CA)
Ucla
(-7) over Nebraska: It’s been an interesting season for
UCLA, which saw Puffy Combs get a ride
downtown with LA’s finest following an alleged scrap with one of da’
strength-coaches over said-coach’s treatment of his son, Justin, in which the
famed-artist brandished a kettle-bell (exercise-equipment resembling a dumbbell,
as opposed to “kettle-chips” or…GASP!...Kegel-exercises!). Nebraska’s a
questionable last-second TD catch for the win over Michigan State from 4-8 and in
the comfort of its own living-room for this one. First-year NU Coach Mike Riley
had a lot to work with, but it didn’t translate well to the field. Jim Mora Jr.
had even more to work with and
despite knockin’ off four Top 25
opponents in five tries, Bruins still
end up here playing before the ball drops in Times Square. Nothin’ personal
against Nebraska or the other pair of 5-7 bowlers, but should two of the three lose
(San Jose won its game), perhaps the bowl-deluge will get some reconsideration …
UCLA 29 Corn-Meal 17
DEC.
28
MILITARY
BOWL PRESENTED BY NORTHRUP GRUMMAN (Annapolis, MD)
#21
NAVY (-3) over Pittsburgh: LOCK OF DA’ BOWLS (Go! Run! Save yerselves!). Admittedly, we’re a slow-learner…
because for an unprecedented third
time in a single-season, we designate the same
team for “lock”. Middies want to make up for less-than-stellar offensive-outing
vs. Army. Again, Pitt’s at a disadvantage prepping for the triple-option. After
entertaining an offer from BYU, Ensigns coach Niumatalolo has decided to stay put and Senior QB Keenan Reynolds
enters his collegiate finale…at the home-harbor…More nautical-than-nice 41
Panthers 30
QUICKLANE
BOWL (@ Detroit, MI)
Central
Michigan (+6) over Minnesota: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #1…Chippewas
24 Gilded Gerbils 21
DEC.
29
LOCKHEED
MARTIN ARMED FORCES BOWL (@ Ft. Worth, TX)
Air
Force (+7) over California: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #2…Pilots
34 Bears 28
(BILL,
KURT) RUSSELL (BRAND, CROWE, WILSON) ATHLETIC BOWL (@Orlando, FL)
#10
North Carolina (-2 ½) over #18 Baylor (69): ‘Heels 51 Baylor
37
NOVA
HOME LOANS ARIZONA BOWL (@ Tucson, AZ)
Colorado
State (-3) over Nevada: MWC officials were up-in-arms over
a pairing of two of their own teams
here. We agree! WTH!???!!! Bowl-saturation! While we remember a very-limited,
sub-dozen number of post-season opportunities, come on! Better-than-.500 records should be rewarded! Less-than-break-even? NOT! UNR lost the
only MWC game that truly-mattered this season to…(GASP!)…UNLV! Momentum and slight conference body-of-work (beat
USAF at home and New Mexico in Albuquerque) advantages to the Rams. Reno’s gone
0-2 SU/0-2 ATS vs. CSU the past two years. We’ll toss our ball-cap onto the ice
for…Colorado State 27 Wolfpack 21
ADVOCARE
V100 TEXAS BOWL (@ Houston, TX)
#22
Louisiana State (-7) over Texas Tech (“under 73 ½”): Again,
we’ll wander into dangerous territory, pickin’ a side and a total. Offensive production bottomed-out for the Tigers over
final four games to the tune of 16, 14, 17 and 19…resulting in three outright
defeats. Raiders saw seven matches total 93 points or better, but this is an
SEC D. State hasn’t won or covered a bowl since 2010 Cotton. Les Miles flirted
with departure (involuntarily or otherwise), but remains after-all. RB Leonard
Fournette went for a buck-fitty or more in all but 3 games for the Bengals and
should kickoff 2016 Heisman contest with a big day vs. one of country’s worst
run-stopping squads, a la Forrest Gump,
running thru the end zone, down the tunnel and into the stadium parking lot.
Then on LSU’s second play from
scrimmage…Tigers 42 TTU 20
DEC.
30
BIRMINGAM
BOWL (@ Birmingham, AL)
Auburn
(-2 ½) over Memphis: MU lost three straight (albeit to the
AAC’s top three clubs) before smoking SMU in the finale and gave up a ton of
points to the MAC and its own conference-competition. Auburn dropped the final
four games to close-out the 2014 regular-slate and lost four of final six in
2015 for back-to-back late-season meltdowns, covering just 2 of 11 tilts
altogether. However, it should be a partisan crowd for UA and there are a lot
of Juniors on the Auburn sideline. Gus Malzahn can dilute memories of a tough
year and set the tone for next season’s Senior-class with a win… Auburn 44
Memphis 36
BELK
BOWL (@ Charlotte, NC)
Mississippi
State (-5) over NC State: Mississippi State 38 NC State 24
FRANKLIN
AMERICAN MORTGAGE MUSIC CITY BOWL (@ Nashville, TN)
Louisville
(-4) over Texas A&M: Aggies have lost top two-strings of
quarterbacks, who defected ahead of this one. We figure that moves this game
closer to an “under”. Cards began with three losses (including three-point
defeat by CFP #1-seed Clemson) then walked off the gridiron with 7 victories in
9 games. A&M has won 19 consecutive non-conference matches, but is getting points here. All four of TAMU’s
SU losses came vs. fellow SEC West foes. The Aggies underwent Navy SEAL
training this Spring. Vindy’s spies report several key-players hangin’ out and
partyin’ with Charlie Sheen as kick-off for this one looms!...Redbirds 27
Aggies 17
HOLIDAY
BOWL (San Diego, CA)
#23
Wisconsin vs. Southern Cal (“over” 50 ½): Best guess for
“wish we had it back” as motivation might come into play with
then-fully-equipped Trojans anticipating big things, but two failures in as
many attempts to beat Stanford relegated SoCal to the wrong in-state
post-season venue. After yielding just 22 ppg last year while still under
league sanctions, Troy allowed 40 or more on four occasions and just a pair of
its contests finished “under” this number. Badgers restricted remaining 11
opponents to 11 ppg after coughing up 35 to Bama, but the scoring defense faced
just three clubs higher than 75th in putting-up points per game,
while 5 squads came in at 99th or worse…USC 34 Wisky 27
BETWEEN
THE HASHMARKS
BTW, also
a doink-of-da’-uprights but getting less attention was Harvey’s call of 2nd-runner-up
Olivia Jordan as Miss Conference-USA.
Jordan hails from Oklahoma, which clearly plays in da’ Big 12! Check yer facts,
Steve-O!
Our apologies to
#20 Utah, #24 Temple and #25 Western Kentucky for not noting their respective
AP Poll rankings when we published Part I of our bowl picks!
With the Coogs and Da’
Huskies both in the post-season, we offer…golf???!!!
Yep….golf!!!!! PGA Tour officials
green-lighted consumption of marijuana at the June 2015 U.S. Open because the
venue was in Mary Jane-friendly Washington state. Fans in the gallery reported
Bill Murray reprised his “Caddyshack” performance as Carl Spackler and quipped…”It’s in
da’ bowl…it’s in da’ bowl!” Just
wonderin’…did he also babble on about “a sensimilla
story…sensimilla kid”???!!!
In August, stock-market
publication The Street listed the Top 10 College Towns to Live In, Even if
You’re Not a Student. Topping the list was Manhattan, Kansas (home to
K-State Wildcats), but in the ninth-spot was Lincoln, Nebraska. The article
made reference to a popular Russian sandwich called a “runza”. Gives whole new
meaning to “Big Red”! “Straight
Outta’…Comrades!?”
For fans of Jim Carrey’s Grinch, we recreate the famous mailbox-scene…”Jury duty, jury duty, jury duty, blackmail, pink-slip, hate letter, eviction notice, Vindy’s
Picks…!”
If Scrooge played hockey, would we hear him declare,
“You goal-keep Christmas in your own way and let me goal-keep it in mine!”???!!!
Vindicator accidentally bought “rappin’ paper” and
spent Christmas Eve listening to presents under da’ tree crooning Eminem’s greatest hits!
If Dr. Seuss had written a
book about a common athletic injury, would it have been entitled…”Green Eggs
and Hamstring”???!!
Cam Newton took pre-game
warm-ups ahead of win over Da’ Giants on Sunday donning a Green Lantern T-shirt. Clearly, there were no comicbook aficionados on the New York sidelines, otherwise someone woulda’ advised them to wear something
yellow (GL’s only vulnerability)
on defense! (Though a fan mighta’ alerted them, given 2nd-Half
comeback that fell short by a FG!).
Apparently, we need to
develop some patience, as Vindy
quickly turned away from Da’ Vegas Bowl with Utes up 21-0 and Carolina up 28-7 early only to have the respective
opponents (BYU and NY Giants) make things more-interesting when it was all said-and-done!
Black
Shirt: Goes to Akron
LB Jatavis Brown for creating da’ fumble that led to Zips’ FG right before
halftime and helped bring home our Part I “upset pick of da’ week” over USU!
Bowls Part II Best Bets: Last Week: 1-0 Season:
42-34-1
(.553)
North Carolina-Baylor “over 69”
We’ll return before da’ first kick-off on New Year’s
Eve with…Part III! 
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