ONUS
PUT ON COLLEGE RESULT FOR NFL TEAM’S DEFEAT
FOXBOROUGH,
Massachusetts (CNN)…Tom Brady was mandated to wear Ohio State gear in the Patriots locker
room last Thursday, after he lost a friendly wager when da’ Buckeyes beat his
alma mater, Big Blew,…rather badly…! New
England’s star QB claimed the fact that he hurled
on the jersey and personally wet
himself while doing so was “purely coincidental”! Brady blamed his team’s subsequent
loss to the struggling Philadelphia bEagles that weekend on the forced
change-of-attire, leading to “disruption” of his “usual pre-game routine”!
Farther west, Vindy had such a poor Championship Week
(altogether now…”How…poor…was
it?!”), ending up 2-8 (123-118-3, .510),
even Steelers’ LB James Harrison, who was adamantly-opposed to giving awards
for merely playing in games rather
than for recognizing only excellent performances,
was compelled to offer him a “participation trophy”! With Vindicator still
muttering “What The Field-goal???!!!”,
we propose…
THE
WEBER KID’S 2015 ARMY-NAVY FORECAST
(“Straight
Outta’…Spread-Wins!”)
Army
+21 ½ over Navy (@ Philadelphia, PA): Two of the three military
academies are havin’ strong seasons. Army ain’t one of ‘em. Air Force came within a FG of winning the Mountain Fest
Conference, while the Middies, in their first season as part of a conference, played
but also lost the AAC Championship game at Houston. West Point beat just one
FBS team…Eastern Michigan (whose only victory came over 2-win Wyoming), and put
only one other victory in the books, a 21-14 win over FCS Bucknell (which went
4-7 on the year), while dropping the opener 37-35 vs. FCS Fordham (a
first-round FCS playoffs loser). Keydets have lost by this many just once…a
44-3 defeat by Duke, catching the Blue Devils off a 9-7 triumph vs. Boston
College. Otherwise, Army was competitive in its losses (though posted a
crapshoot-worthy 4-4-1 ATS in I-A competition). The Sailors, who covered 7 of
10 FBS games, have 6 of their 9 wins by at least this many, including 38-point
toppling of FCS Colgate (which is currently 10-3 and playing in the quarterfinals
this weekend), but are poor 1-7 in last 8 layin’ more than two touchdowns. With
a spread this big, rushing and passing yardage differences are negligible. Turnovers
will likely be the key to the Platoon’s cover. Swabbies are plus-15. Soldiers
are minus-8. Army will also have to improve upon its 79% red-zone success, with
Navy converting on 94% of its possessions inside the opponents’ 20. West Point
gave up a minimum of 31 ppg in 4 of its last 5 contests. On the year, omitting
the 58-point outlier vs. EMU, Cadets scored an average of 16.75 ppg. Two of da’
last three years in this series were decided by 7 or less, and Army has one
obvious advantage over all of Navy’s other foes…. they’ve seen the option…regularly!…Navy 34 Army 17
BETWEEN
THE HASHMARKS
BTW, had we just chosen solely a side rather than risking a side and a total on the ‘Bama-Florida match, we’d been even worse at 1-8 versus 2-8!
In September, the yearly
freshmen pillow-fight at West Point went horribly-wrong, sending dozens to
sick-call after a bunch of “tomorrow’s leaders” inserted hard-objects,
including helmets, into pillow-cases! Wow! Talk about “friendly-fire”!!! “I am an Army of one…brain-cell???!!”
Prior to the start of the
season, Craig Thompson, Mountain West commish, said he’d like Army-Navy to be
played earlier in the year because if the Middies were the highest team among
the Group of Five conferences in the
CFP rankings, other potential bowl teams (and their bowls) would go into a
holding pattern until the game was decided. Thompson’s undesirable-scenario almost played-out as the Sailors would
likely have been the best Group-of-Five
club had they beaten Houston for the AAC Title!
Not long ago, Florida
State RB Dalvin Cook broke the school rushing record and exclaimed he thinks he’s entitled to da’ Heisman Trophy
“because I’m Dalvin!” Is it just us
or is anyone else in the readership flashin’ back to…”I’m Rick James, B*tch!” Or maybe he wants to star in a 007-flick…”My name’s Cook…Dalvin
Cook.”
Da’ Clemson Tigers
rejoiced in their berth to the College Football Playoffs by throwin’ a pizza-party,
spurring us to quip…”Better pizza,
better playoffs…Dabo John’s!
Black
Shirt: The coveted-tee clearly goes this week to Florida WR
Antonio Callaway for the 85-yard punt-return for touchdown, helping an
otherwise anemic Gator offense put enough points up to send the total to the
predicted “over”!
“Locked
in a Box?”: Yep…Vindy
put the weekly kiss-of-death on Northern Illinois (+11) as the Huskies got
rocked by Bowling Green, lowering our lock record to 4-10 (.286).
Shoppe
Talk: Vindicator has checked himself into the Shoppe and slipped his head into one of those
hunting- trophy plaques in light of the ongoing failure to pick a winning side
or total as his most-preferred selection of the week!
Vindy’s
Army-Navy Best Bets: none Last Week: 1-1 Season: 41-34-1 (.546)
Don’t touch that dial! We’ll be back circa December 18
with Part One of our infamous bowl predictions!
No comments:
Post a Comment