Vindy's Picks Week 5-2016

HIGH-TECH TO STOP TD-DROPSIES?

INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana (BBC)…With Colonist university and professional “football” clubs suffering unprecedented-numbers of goal-line guffaws due to careless-handling of the ball in recent weeks, several coaches at both levels have been given permission by their respective oversight-organizations to utilize new technology  in efforts to reduce such mistakes. Tech-giant IBM has developed, for experimental purposes, balls which emit ear-piercing sounds (dubbed The Shrieker), spikes (the Porcupine), arm-adhering tentacles (The Alien) and industrial-strength epoxy (The Super-Glue Gun) anytime a player might prematurely eject the pigskin between the opposition’s five-yard line and the end zone. The balls will be employed mostly during team practices, but leagues have the right to authorize use of the countermeasures during live games if problems persist.

A third-straight seven-win outing leaves our flustered forecaster at 31-35-1 (.469) on the year. It was a dramatic turnaround for the favorites, who beat da’ line in 13 of 16 tries after covering mere 4 to 6 (depending on whose closing spreads ya look at) of 18 the week before. If you’ll excuse us, we need to try to wash-off all this “chalk”-dust behind a shower-curtain imprinted with…

THE WEBER KID’S 2016 WEEK 5 FORECAST

(Keepin’ people waitin’ longer than TSA at the airport!)

THURS. SEPT. 29

#6 HOUSTON (-28) over Connecticut: We looked at a handful of games for “lock of da’ week”. This was first-choice initially. The expected improvement that comes with 16 starters back ain’t showin’-up in the win-loss record to-date for UConn. UH goes to Annapolis next, but Middies graduated their star-Ensign running the show. Huskies handed da’ Coogs their only straight-up “L” of 2015…20-17 at Storrs! ‘Nuff said! Again, our pre-Saturday losses have come on Throwback-Thursdays, but... Houston 49 UConn 13

FRI. SEPT. 30

#10 WASHINGTON (-3) over #7 Stanford: Huskies were finally challenged last week, swapping sixes at Arizona and surviving in overtime. Sled Dogs have lost three home games outright in each of the past two years after dropping three total over the previous three seasons. Game-film from Trees rally (Thank you, Stanford!) against UCLA should offer UDUB some clues to slowing McCaffrey. SU’s defense has done the heavy-lifting so far. Trees are 3-0 “under”, Canines are 3-0 “over”. Initial reaction was to lay the FG…so we will…Washington 27 Cardinal 23

SAT. OCT. 1

Kentucky (+34 ½) over #1 ALABAMA: Elephants are 2-1-1 ATS and have important trips to Arkansas and Tennessee next.  Bluegrass ‘Cats are 1-3 vs. the number, including 38-point loss at Florida. Even without 43-yard rushing TD, RB Boom Williams dented the Carolina Poultry defense for 5.7 yards per tote, giving KY that one cover. ‘Cats are just 2-9 ATS in last 11 games back to 2015. “Over” might be a choice here with UK giving up 44 to SoMiss, 45 to the Gators and 42 to (GASP!) New Mexico State. Tide’s yielded total of 16 points to its three foes not-named Ole Miss…’Bama 44 Kentucky 17

Rutgers (+38) over #2 OHIO STATE: With more-threatening Hoosiers securing temp-housing in Columbus next and trip to Wisconsin thereafter, gotta’ figure a couple strings on the State depth-chart get some snaps here. Scarlet Knights of Da Round Table could be flat initially after holding Hawkeyes to a pair of scores last week in 14-7 loss…Script-Ohio 29 RU 6

#3 Louisville (-2) over #5 CLEMSON: Tigers opened as nominal favorites but were quickly bet-down to home-dog status. It’s not a question of whether or not Cards QB Lamar Jackson can win a big game, it’s a question of whether or not he can win a big game on the road. Tigers are 3-0 “under” in polar-opposition to Louisville, which shows 4-0 “over” (and 4-0 ATS). FSU did not help their cause with poor tackling and other mistakes in blow-out loss to UL. CU won 20-17 in 2015.  Clemson’s new defensive starters have had four games to work with each other. Still, it’s hard not to back Da’ Ville team scoring 63 ½ points per match…Cardinals 31 Clemson 20

#8 Wisconsin (+10 ½) over #4 MICHIGAN: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. Wolverines forced a holding penalty by Lions return-team on opening kickoff and never looked back as the Alma Mater couldn’t get out of its way in 49-10 loss. Varmints have allowed 47 cumulative points thus far  and have faced two Top 25 foes away from Madison …beating both outright. Hat-trick…Badgers 24 UM 20

#9 Texas A&M (-17 ½) over SOUTH CAROLINA: SC put a lotta’ effort into hotly-contested, low-scoring defeat to Kentucky, but play first of a five-game home-stand. Aggies are makin’ it look easy and come into third consecutive tilt away from College Station undefeated, 3-0 ATS and having knocked-off the Roosters two years running. Under first-year coach Muschamp, like his squads in Gainesville, Gamecocks are good on defense (no total in first four games has exceeded 41), not-so-much on offense. Carolina stifled reasonably-potent Wildcats, but A&M could cover total (48) potentially themselves. Charting on this week’s Billboard 100…a classic Captain & Tennille tune meets former Florida-turned-Gamecocks head coach…”Muschamp Love”!...A&M 34 Chicken Fingers 14

#25 GEORGIA (+3) over #11 Tennessee: MINOR UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #1. Injury last week to star running back Nick Chubb could diminish ‘Dawgs’ chances here. Nonetheless, a Joja’ victory dethrones Tennessee and puts UGA atop the SEC East. Georgia has exactly one home-loss in each of the past three years to go with 17 wins between da’ hedges. Have to question what Rocky Top has in the tank after huge comeback last week vs. the Gators…Bulldogs 27 UT 24

North Carolina (+11) over #12 FLORIDA STATE: Tribe 34 ‘Heels 31

#13 Baylor (-16 ½) over IOWA STATE: With a bye to follow, Jim Grobe needs to let the Bears flex some muscle over ‘Clones squad that picked up first SU win last week in romp over San Josie. This one got a look for “lock” too…Bears 44 Dust Devils 20

#14 Miami (-7) over GEORGIA TECH: Hurricanes 31 Bees 21

#15 NEBRASKA (-21) over Illinois: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Huskers QB “Bad Tommy” (Armstrong Jr.) was on the field last week. We think “Good Tommy” shows up here…Cornucopia 37 Lovie’s ‘Llini 9

Memphis (+14 ½) over #16 MISSISSIPPI: Rebels 33 Tigers 20

#17 Michigan State (-7) over INDIANA: Spartans 24 Indy 13

#18 Utah (+1) over CAL: Parroting our Week Three comments on App State’s mere 3 ½ -point ‘cap at Miami (and almost put on our Florida State -6 over SOUTH FLORIDA pick in Week 4), we say…”Oh Hell no!” While Bears aren’t suffering the loss of QB Jared Goff to the pros quite as much as expected, Utes continue to get it done despite some seeming-weaknesses…Utah 34 Berkeley 27

#19 San Diego State (-19) over SOUTH ALABAMA: Another one that saw some potential “lock” love from your humble narrator. Aztecs are first of two Mountain Jest teams in the rankings this week and look for payback for one of three defeats in 2015…in extras….at the hands of the host, who apparently had local Mindfreak star Cris Angel patrolling its sidelines in 21-20 triumph over Mississippi State to start the year before absorbing losses to Joja’ Southern and UL-Lafayette ahead of 41-40 win against I-AA Nicholls State (also beyond regulation)…Sudzu 42 South ‘Bama 17

Alcorn State @ #20 ARKANSAS: No line.

#21 TCU (+3 ½) over Oklahoma: MINOR UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #2. Toads swallowed two defeats last season…Oklahoma State by a bunch and…Oklahoma by 1…in Norman. Spooners have faced two quality opponents (neither a true road game) and lost by double-digits to both. Frog-Legs have lined-up against one quality opponent (in Ft. Worth) and suffered three-point defeat. We especially like havin’ da’ hook here in case it’s a FG-decision … Amphibians 30 Fauxklahoma 24

#22 Texas (+2 ½ and “over 71”) over OKLAHOMA STATE: Extremely rare single-game call on both a side and a total. Both teams need a win badly for their coaches…Texas more than Okie State. Longhorns are rested after backyard game loss at Cal as a TD-fave. Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com shows the visitor in this series covering seven, losing none and pushing one in past 8 meetings. Going back to 2015, Cowboys have one ATS dubya in last 6 vs. I-A teams. OKSU rattled off ten straight SU wins to begin ast season, including 30-27 in Austin, but are already 2-2 SU to-date. Cattle have been poor road dogs at 1-4 past two years… ’Horns 44 Oklahoma State 38

#23 Florida @ VANDERBILT (“under 41”): How does one of the country’s best defenses cough-up 38 consecutive points-against after being spotted a 21-point late 2^nd Quarter advantage. Apparently, it was Florida International that took the field after halftime…Crocs 23 ‘Dores 9

#24 BOISE STATE (-20 ½) over Utah State: Broncos took out a pair of 12-PAC clubs and smoked UL-Lafayette. Looks like they want to challenge Houston for that Group of Five CFP-spot. Aggies, who lost 52-26 last year, still recovering from tough one vs. Air Force…Broncos 48 USU 17

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

Football meets a certain ChoiceHotels.Com commercial: “Our team is in a two-score hole…should we punt or should we go?!” “We could take our chances at the point-of-attack”. “But I trust the kicker more than the ‘back.” “A bowl-win gets us lotsa’ dough…should we punt or should we go??” “The tackle box, we sure can stack.” “Or double-team da’ cornerback”. “If we just kick, it’s in da’ bag.” “Or we could try to draw a flag”.

Da’ Little Guys Strike Back (Again!): FCS #13 Western Illinois 28-23 over NORTHERN ILLINOIS, unranked Central Arkansas also 28-23 over ARKANSAS STATE (Red Wolves now 0-4 SU/0-3 ATS [though the off-shore lines prolly had ASU favored]) and just-missed (as mentioned above)… unranked Nicholls State losing at SOUTH ALABAMA 41-40… in OT! In related news, Texas State hosts FCS unranked Incarnate Word, who fell by a single touchdown to FCS #20 McNeese State last week. Don’t touch that dial!

Crimson Tide officials tattled on themselves to the NCAA powers-that-be in July for illegally-displayin’trophies in areas that were known to be occupied by recruits touring da’ campus. Ummm…forgive our ignorance, but isn’t flaunting the team-bling part of the whole recruiting process???!!!

We concur with Mobile Strike’s Arnold Schwarzenegger that “Da’ best defense…is defense. Send a dozen linebackers where one linebacker will do. Build walls of blockers twice as deep as ya need.”

For lunch today, we had the Taco Bell $5 Big Box-Score!

Oktoberfest is in-progress! Let the announcement be made…”Vindy in Da’ Hofbrauhaus!”

BTW, we melted-down da’ coin that called da’ Bayou Bengals over Auburn in Week 4!

Da’ Broncos resurrected Tim Tebow’s “friar” haircut for one of their rookies. Just wonderin’…had Tom Brady been a newbie for Denver when a certain rule-change came out, would it have been the “Friar Tuck-Rule”??!!

“Wish We Had It Back”: Yup, we’d like to give back Marc Lawrence’s theory after taking N-DUB to cover a TD vs. Nebraska and hand said-tout a towel to wipe da’ tread-marks off his face! (Reminder…WAZZOU can give Mr. Lawrence back some cred with a cover vs. Oregon this week).

“Locked in a Box?”:  The nice comeback by Stanford over UCLA nudges-up our record to 3-1 (.750).      

Black Shirt: The coveted tee goes to UL-Lafayette QB Elijah McGuire, whose misfire on a two-point conversion pass ensured the game vs. Tulane would not go to a fifth OT, ensuring the Ragin’ Cajuns would cover +5, supporting our parlay with Air Force -3 over USU. Honorable mention to da’ Utes’ WR Tim Patrick for winning TD-reception at the pylon with less than half-a- minute to play to help continue our four-week trend of entering Saturday’s menu no worse than 1-1.

Shoppe Talk: Joja’ and USC get a pass, but ‘Bama (0-3-1, .000) and Florida (0-3, .000) hang around, to be joined again by the Vols (1-3, .250).

Vindy’s Week 5 Best Bets:       Last Week: 3-2    Season: 12-10 (.545) Troy -13 ½ over IDAHO, Northwestern +13 over IOWA, Wyoming +7 over COLORADO STATE, Wake Forest +11 over NC STATE, Fresno State +9 ½ over UNLV, NEW MEXICO STATE +4 ½ over Weeziana-Lafayette