TRUE SOURCE OF ROYAL-MONIKER REVEALED
LONDON (BBC)…Recently-leaked information from inside Buckingham Palace indicates there was much-controversy, concealed since until now, over the actual middle-name of the newborn-son of Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan Markle...Archie Manning...originally announced as Archibald Mountbatten-Windsor. The Prince reluctantly-confessed he “preferred the NFL over what the Colonists refer to as soccer.” and ultimately decided on the sly tribute to the father of also-star quarterback, Peyton Manning, creating consternation among family and loyal-subjects, alike.
What started-out as a promising beginning to this season, including three correct selections in the first four tries (with the spread-loss coming by just a half-point) and a 4-3 edge heading into the holiday weekend quickly went south on the heels of a 4-6 Saturday (BTW, Vindy’s blamin’ da’ Clintons fer ‘dat!), leaving our flustered-forecaster needing one of the final two games Sunday or Labor Day to break at least .500, but the Sooners’ K Calum Sutherland missed two field goals vs. Da’ Cougars and the pair collectively-failed to eclipse 82 ½ points Sunday, but Louisville +20 ½ lost by 18 to Our Lady, giving us a 10-10 final-record for the opening-salvo.
Hopin’ to regroup with...
THE WEBER KID’S WEEK 2 FORECAST
(Colder than Antonio Brown’s tootsie...and less-protected than his head!)
FRI. SEPT. 6
Marshall @ #24 BOISE STATE (“over 56 ½”): Broncos 34 Herd 28
SAT. SEPT. 7
#12 Texas A&M (+17 ½) over #1 CLEMSON: Aggies have had this tilt bolded on da’ schedule ever-since 2-point demise (with two-ticks left) vs. eventual title-grabbers in 2018. Tigers quarterback Jeff Spicoli is in “sophomore-jinx-mode" and hadda’ lean-heavily on RB Etienne in win (and minimal-cover) against da’ Bees. Aggies show 9 ATS-wins, one spread-loss and a push in last 11 outside-da'-SEC-games. CU has gone 10-3 against the number, with one of the “L”’s by a half-point. If T-Law is inefficient, we note A&M has improved on run-D in each of past-five years, but brings back just four starters on that side of the ball. Despite Aggies’ OL Hocker opening his big, fat trap and asserting that the Tigers are goin’ down...Clemson 38 Aggies 31
New Mexico State (+55) over #2 ALABAMA: Cinnamon-Roll, Tide, Roll...51 NMSU 7
Murray State @ #3 GEORGIA: No line.
South Dakota @ #4 OKLAHOMA: No line.
#5 OHIO STATE (-16 ½) over Cincinnati: Untimely turnovers by the Bruins doomed UCLA ATS at Cincinnati...Buckeyes 34 Bearkats 13
#6 Louisiana State @ #9 TEXAS (“under 55 ½): Horns’ managed a half-point spread-victory at home in Week 1 over Weeziana Tech (we correctly called the “over 55”!). Steers-LSU have no recent history, but UT had taken 6 of previous 8 on the scoreboard. Texas covered 8 of previous 10 getting points (including 3-1 outright in 2018). Neither side inspires much confidence ATS out-of-conference. Bayou Bengals could be this season’s “Anti-Tide” in the end...Tigers 23 Burnt Orange is Da’ New Black 17
Army (+22 ½) over #7 MICHIGAN (“under 47”): Another double-call...because we’re a slow-learner! Platoon, #26 in preseason poll, could’ve entered this one sportin’ a hashtag, but voters decided Broncos’ rally from 18-down in Tallahassee was more-worthy. Full-disclosure...we likely woulda’ backed da ’Owls with da’ points last weekend. Cadets eked-out a 14-7 margin over Rice. Gotta’ figure the focus this week is here!!! Wolverines lack-of-familiarity with the option-game (and thus make it difficult for the practice-squad to replicate) should work in favor of West Point. It should also limit possessions by both sides and keep the scoring-opportunities down...Big Blue 24 Stripes 16
#8 Notre Dame: IDLE (next vs. New Mexico)
Tulane (+18) over #10 AUBURN: Let-down spot for Aubie after dispatching a second-half 15-point hole and rallying to defeat the Mallards with 9 seconds remaining. Line seems to reflect that...Tigers 24 Green Wave 9
UT-Martin @ #11 FLORIDA: No line.
Northern Illinois (+22 ½) over #13 UTAH: Utes 28 Huskies 24
#14 WASHINGTON (-14) over California: Berkley walked-off with inexplicable 12-10 victory last season. UDUB lines-up Joja’ QB-transfer Jacob Eason, immediate-replacement for departed Washington starter Jake Browning. Per Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.com, Ursines are money facing .666 or greater-foe coming-in following SU-win. Nonetheless, da’ coin likes...Huskies 38 Cal 17 (BTW, we’re not averse to acquiring a Black Shirt tailored to the physique of a coin, nor on da’ flip-side, stuffing a coin at The Shoppe!)
Buffalo @ #15 PENN STATE (“under 55”): The Alma Mater showed no mercy in smoking former-FBS Vandals of Idaho, 79-7. Maybe that was Coach Franklin applying a psychological-ploy on behalf of his charges, knowing expectations fer this season on were lowered. Phil Steele suggested Lions could be in da’ running for Big Tensor East crown, yet predicts a mere Pinstripe Bowl berth. We still think it’s a rebuilding-year in Happy Valley. Relyin’ on another stellar-effort by State-D...PSU 37 Buffalo 9
#16 OREGON (-23 ½) over Nevada-Reno: We seriously-considered this one for “lock”. Might regret we didn’t stay with that thought. ‘Pack ambushed da’ Boilermakers as 11-point underdogs last weekend and is prolly reveling in that! Drakes, on the other hand, should be pi$$ed in light of letting Auburn off da’ hook in final ticks! Uh-oh!...Quack-Attack 49 Nevada 17
Central Michigan (+35) over #17 WISCONSIN: Second-choice is “over fitty”! Having been burned not once, but twice by the Badgers last week, we remember why we don’t often call a side and a total on a single game! Those of us that watched Wisky’s 49-Zip victory at South Florida know the final-score is seriously-deceiving given multiple drops by Bulls receivers and regular-inability of USF QB Barnett to connect with seriously-open pass-catchers throughout the game. Factor-in un-special play by Bulls’ special-teams and well...Varmints’ getting a bye ahead of hosting Wolverines two Saturdays from now keeps us from calling “lock” here...Cheese-Heads 39 Chippies 24
#18 Central Florida (-10) over FLORIDA ATLANTIC: Be advised...we changed our pick here...twice. Knights weren’t tested in 62-0 romp vs. I-AA Florida A&M. Owls proved themselves having some mettle in cover at Da’ Shoe (as predicted)! Real concern is how banged-up FAU might be after that match. Trees of Stanford on da’ horizon fer Central Florida, but....UCF 42 FAU 28
Western Michigan (+16) over #19 MICHIGAN STATE: With 32 total points on da’ board at da’ 1st-Half intermission, we figured our call of “under 47 ½” was history, but Hurricane folded, while Sparty rested on its laurels by-and-large. With lotsa’ upperclassmen on both sides of da’ ball for both clubs and jump-in-class “Fear Da’ Fork” awaiting State next and again, advantage to both defenses, gotta’ take da’ points...MSU 31 WMU 24
Rutgers @ #20 IOWA (“under 50 ½”): Hawkeyes 27 Exit 9B 12
#21 Syracuse (+2) over MARYLAND: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. VERY MINOR UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. Two clubs goin’ opposite-directions, though Orange getting some maybe-premature-respect to kick-off da’ campaign. We put no stock in Terps’79-0 demolition of I-AA Howard...’Cuse 31 Box Turtles 20
Norther Colorado @ #22 WASHINGTON STATE: No Line.
#23 Stanford @ USC (“over 45”): Truly, our best guess fer “wish we had it back”...Trees 31 Trojans 27
#25 (tie) Nebraska @ COLORADO (“over 64”): MINOR UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. Special-teams saved da’ day fer da’ ‘Huskers, however, leaders of all three aspects of da’ game, no doubt, got a major tongue-lashing from Coach Frost after yielding 21 points to arguably the worst-team (South Bama Jags) in arguably the worst FBS-conference (Fun Belt). Corncobs, 4 outright-victories notwithstanding in 2018, show some late-season progress, going 2-2 SU with defeats by 3 and 5 and curious 9-6 triumph vs. The Spartans! In polar-opposite, Buffs began 5-1, only to flounder to 0-5/0-5 ending. Ugggh! Phil Steele called NU his #1 Most-Improved Team. We ain’t buyin’ it. ...Bison 41 Corn-Maize 34
#25 (tie) Iowa State: IDLE (next vs. Iowa)
BETWEEN DA’ HASHMARKS
BTW, Vindy’s spies confirmed the Duchess momentarily-contemplated Archie’s middle-name as Bunker in a nod to the classic TV-series All in the Family!
Hooray Fer Da’ Little Guy-Da' Sequel: All except one of the FBS-teams facing lower-division FCS-opponents survived in Week 1 (including New Mexico [39-31 victor over #22 Sam Houston State] and Kansas [24-17 winner over #16 Indy State]), but several contests made several I-A coaches uneasy...Minnesota 28-21 over #4 South Dakota State, UConn 24-21 over Wagner, West Virginia 20-13 over #2 James Madison, Old Dominion 24-21 over Norfolk State, Troy 17-7 over Campbell, UTEP 36-34 over Houston Baptist, San Diego State 6-0 over #9 Weber State, Arkansas 20-13 over Portland State and UAB 24-19 over Alabama State! The outlier?...Western Kentucky, which fell 35-28 to then-#25 Central Arkansas. This week, the Tarot-cards favor...#11 Furman over JOJA’ STATE (fresh-off shocker over da’ Fallen Tears of Tennessee!) and #17 Jacksonville State over SOUTH ‘BAMA! (Keep an eye on #14 NC A&T @ DUKE and unranked Western Illinois @ COLORADO STATE, off rivalry-game loss to the Buffaloes).
While a certain president’s plans to buy Greenland were quickly debunked, Vindicator is negotiating with school-officials to bring the “world’s largest island’s” namesake-university’s football squad to Conference-USA’s East Division!
Back in February, the ESPN ticker-tape that runs continually along the bottom of TV screen proclaimed “Anthony Edwards commits to Georgia”. Frankly, we didn’t know the famous ER actor had any years of eligibility left!
We, being blessed/cursed with attention-to-detail skills (Thank you, Officer Candidate School!) caught Sunday’s Las Vegas Review Journal reprint of an AP story entitled “Late TD pass bouys 16-th ranked Tigers” re: Auburn’s come-back triumph against Oregon. The news-agency-in-question reporter and/or the LVRJ article-writer who failed to acknowledge the *spell-checker*-function need(s) to be shown the exit!
How ‘bout dat’ Mountain Fest Conference???!!!! Every member won its opening-game, including three upsets of Power Five opponents (Boise +6 ½ came back to topple Florida State, Reno +11 took out Purdue 34-31 and [GASP!] Wyoming (+17 ½) dropped da’ Tigers of Mizzou 37-31!). Even ‘da Rubbles of UNLV got-in on the act, pasting Sudden Utah, covering a –24-point line!
Subsequent to New England’s last-season division-win romp over the L.A. Chargers, Tom Brady quipped “People think we suck.”. The Patriots were soon-after featured on an episode of Beavis & Butthead’s “Teams That Don’t Suck”! (Don’t touch that dialed-up play ...the G.O.A.T. will be the subject of our Week 3 Lead Story!)
Immediately following his rendition of the National Anthem ahead of last January’s AFC Championship game between the Rams and the Saints, Jimmy Buffett paid tribute to Donald Trump with a rousing-version of “Cheeseberder in Paradise”!
If a furloughed government employee took the field as a certain defensive-back, would he have been a federal shut-down corner?!
Around Da’ Horn...Last month, Darien, Connecticut’s finest drew weapons on Brian Cashman after mistaking the Yankees GM fer a car-thief. Poor guy’s prolly never even stolen a base, much less a vehicle. Nonetheless, the local PD increased its presence around 2B in several nearby baseball-fields just in case!
If a bunting-situation meets a well-known game-show featuring Pat Sajak and Vanna White, does it result in the defense putting-on the ...”Wheel-Route of Fortune"???!!
“Wish We Had It Back”: We called it...Nebraska –36 over Duke! Not even close!
Black Shirt: Da’ coveted obsidian-cloth goes to...Steers’ back-up QB Casey Thompson for not takin’-a-knee and scoring on a two-yard TD-run vs. Weeziana Tech with 1:09 remaining to send the total “over 55”!
“Locked in a Box”: Last Week: 1-0 Season: 1-0 (1.000) The Owls of FAU have our gratitude for hangin’-around long-enuff to cover vs. Da’ Buckeyes!
Shoppe Talk: Da’ South Florida Bulls draw da’ “honor” of opening Ye Olde Taxidermy Shoppe’s 2019 campaign at 0-2 (.000) after failing to cover +13 or keepin’ da total under vs. Da' Badgers! (Varmints were also 0-2, but not by their own hand!). The Wolverines make an opening-week appearance at 0-1 (.000 season; 3-11, .214 skid!).
Vindy’s Week 2 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-3 (.250) Season: 1-3 (.250)
MISSOURI –10 ½ over West Virginia, Illinois-UCONN “under 63 ½”, Western Kentucky +8 ½ over FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL, Minnesota –3 over FRESNO STATE
Until next week...”Tell da’ Bookies ‘Vindy’s comin’...and he’s bringin’ Hell with him!”
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