MONIKER-RIGHTS LEAD TO SPIN-OFFS
Columbus, OHIO (UPI)...In August, officials at Ohio State filed a patent to trademark the “The” in *The* Ohio State University. On the coat-tails of that legal action, the Vegas Vindicator has applied for his own trademark on his reference to the Buckeyes football team as “*Da’* Ohio State University”. Should that challenge be lost, Vindy’s Picks has agreed to refer to said-gridiron-squad of the associated institute-of higher-learning as “Duh’” Ohio State University. Attorneys, on the Vindicator’s behalf, stipulated to thinking the actual-pronunciation was “Thee Ohio State University”. Farther north, Michigan has petitioned for sole-ownership of the phrase “An Ohio state university”!
Vindy “left it (Martin) Short” last weekend, going 8-9-1 (28-27-2, .509), our second-losing outcome in three tries (and we’re callin’ bad-beat on ‘Bama [-25 ½] missing the cover after South Carolina benefitted from a roughin’-a’-passer flag on 4th-and-4, moving the Gamehens close-enough to try again and hit a meaningless scoring-pass with 15 seconds left and a backdoor spread-win!).
Last month, Brewers pitcher Adrian Houser, after ringin-up two “K”s, tossed his cookies on the rubber against da’ Texas Rangers. Hopefully, no other hurlers will hurl after reading…
THEE WEBER KID’S WEEK 4 FORECAST
(Takin’ Area 51 by “Storm”!)
FRI. SEPT. 20
#10 Utah (-4) over USC: Utes 31 Trojans 23
Air Force (+8) over #20 BOISE STATE: We’re floggin’ ourselves fer not backin’ the Pilots +3 ½ at Colorado last week despite preseason-research labeling Air Force as a serious bet-on team this year, but we ain’t gonna’ be shy this time following the upset in Boulder. Flyboys are now 8-3 getting points away from the home-hangar the past three-plus campaigns and show 15 starters back after typically only returning 10 or 11 at best. Falcons garnered Phil Steele’s #5 Most-Improved Team rating. USAF has gone 6-17-1 ATS in Mountain Jest play the past three years, but Boise lines-up a true Frosh at QB. Wouldn’t rule-out another upset, but conservatively-predicting... Broncos 27 Aim High 24 (and in the state of Colorado, Am High is acceptable!)
SAT. SEPT. 21
Charlotte @ #1 CLEMSON (“under 61 ½”): This one’s all about getting the relatively-inexperienced two-, three- and four-deep defenders some playing-time for the Tigers. Could be zeroes for Charlotte, but we’ll say....CU 51 ‘Niners 3
Southern Miss (+39) over #2 ALABAMA: Rollerball, Tide, Rollerball (Raise yer hand if yer old enuff to remember the original-version starrin’ James Caan!). In da’ mean-time, over the intercom, we hear... “Coach Saban...Coach Nick Saban...report to Vindy’s office...with a bas-ket...fer...yer...head.”...Pachyderms 51 SoMiss 20
#7 Notre Dame (+14) over #3 GEORGIA: Last meeting resulted in 20-19 victory by the ‘Dawgs in 2017. Canines have our gratitude for keepin’ the total “under fitty-nine-and-a-half" with 55-0 triumph over Arkansas State. Our Lady has won and covered four of last five opportunities facing Top 25 opponents. Joja’s gone 9-3 ATS though middlin’ 6-6 outright in likewise-situations. Both teams are playing well on scoring-D to-date and “under 58” wouldn’t be a bad-alternative... UGA 27 Leprechauns 23
#4 Louisiana State @ VANDERBILT (“over 60”): Best guess fer “Wish We Had It Back”. Commodores lost at home to Joja’ by 24. Not comfortable layin’ nearly three-TDS with Bengals, but like what State has done on offense thus far and only a bye on-deck, so starters can play longer. Tigers have spread-victories in 12 of last 16 SEC contests. Commodores have plenty of Seniors on offense. Reprising a quote from Da’ Shining, we say...”Gimme da’ bat, Vandy!...Vannnnnddyyyyyyy!!!!”...LSU 45 Admirals 19
#5 Oklahoma: IDLE (next vs. Texas Tech)
Miami-Ohio @ #6 OHIO STATE (“under 58”): Buckeyes 42 Redhawks 6
#8 Auburn @ #17 TEXAS A&M (“under 48”): Be advised...initial-selection was Aggies givin’ da’ nominal-points (-3 ½). Tigers haven’t covered a road-dog effort in four-tries in past two years. The defense has been on-point, limiting Oregon to 21 and allowing 22 additional-points over other pair of contests. A&M held Clemson to 24 and yielded just 10 more points over other two tilts. Aggies nice 11-3 as chalk last two campaigns and will pose toughest stoppers Aubie QB Bo Nix has faced. A demise here could prolly give Gus Malzahn an early ticket-outta’-town. Show Gus da’ bus...TAMU 23 Auburn 19
Tennessee (+14) over #9 FLORIDA: More of a vote against da’ Gators than for da’ Vols...Florida 28 Rocky Top 17
#11 Michigan (+3) over #13 (tie) WISCONSIN: MINOR UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #1. Both sides rested last Saturday. Badgers haven’t been challenged, notching consecutive white-washes of South Florida and Central Michigan to the tune of 120-nada. Army got Big Blue’s attention in three-point 2OT loss. Wisky will field a more-traditional rushing-game than Army’s option. Second of five straight games at Camp Randall fer da’ host. Wolverines are on 0-6 spread-skid going back to 2018 but have lotsa’ seniors on each side of the ball, while Varmints are young on each side. In a potential-preview of Big Tenderizer Championship game, we like...Michigan 31 Madison 24
Oklahoma State @ #12 TEXAS (“over 73”): State is just outside the Top 25 and will be gunning for inexperienced Steers, but have new coaches, coordinators and quarterback. Hard to believe, but State’s won outright four straight years in this series. Cowboys are 11-3-1 ATS vs. ranked foes of late. ‘Horns have posted three “overs” in as many outings and hung 38 on LSU...Texas 44 ‘Pokes 38
#13 (tie) Penn State: IDLE (next @ Maryland 9/27). On a personal-alum note...way-to-go Nifty Lions K Jordan Stout fer converting PSU-record fitty-seven-yard FG against da’ Panthers!
#15 Central Florida (-12) over PITT: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Poor open-field tackling by both Pitt and Penn State had us wringin’ our hands early-and-often, but ultimately the total finished well-”under” as predicted. In final scheduled rivalry-game vs. the Alma Mater, Panthers likely left it all on the field at Beaver Stadium in 17-10 defeat. Golden Knights should cruise here while adding yet-another Power Five-victim to their New Year’s Six resume... UCF 31 Pitt 10
#16 Oregon (-10 ½) over STANFORD: Mallards 38 Cardinal 20
#18 IOWA: IDLE (next vs. Middle Tennessee State)
#19 WASHINGTON STATE (-18 ½) over Ucla: We expected X-Box-like numbers in Coogs’ game against Houston, but got a Pong-like pace instead!...Wazzou 41 ‘Ruins 18
Old Dominion @ #21 VIRGINIA (“under 46”): Cavs 30 ODU 3
BYU (+6 ½) over #22 Washington: UDUB 27 Coogs 24
#23 California @ MISSISSIPPI (“under 41 ½”): MINOR UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #2. Having called that, we’re much-more comfortable predicting the total than the side. UC-Berkley Ursines have been pleasant-surprise in otherwise for-the-most-part floundering 12-PACK. Rebels fell 15-10 to Memphis before getting past SEC-almost-cellar-dweller Arkansas and I-AA SE Weeziana. Old Mist brings back 3 on offense and 10 on D. All three of Bears’ melees to-date have finished below this total. Mississippi has gone 2-5 ATS vs. Top 25 last two seasons, with one of those dubyas coming by a half-point....Da’ Bears 17 Magnolia State 16
Colorado (+7 ½) over #24 ARIZONA STATE: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. The PAC-12 has conceded that the zebras missed a flag fer “leaping” on Michigan State’s failed tying FG-try as the clock hit zeroes. Buffs have played extra-frames in last two tilts and look to recover from defeat by visiting-Air Force. State has permitted just 7 points in each of first three, but while lining-up vs. Kent State, FCS Sac State and MSU-squad not known for scoring-prowess. CU has sucked against the line vs. ranked-opponents and off outright-losses past two years. If a vintage bubble-gum company meets ASU’s sports-teams, would da’ mantra in Tempe be...”Fleer da’ Fork...?!” The conference-cannibalism continues... Bison 27 Solar Satans 21
Southern Methodist (+9 ½) over #25 TEXAS CHRISTIAN: Horned Froggies have covered mere-pair of tilts as chalk in Ft. Worth over past three campaigns. One of those two...a 42-12 victory over da’ Ponies in 2018. We gave the “under 55 ½” a serious-look. Interesting contrast in non-conference play as Sudden Methadone had beaten the nine-times in a dozen tries (and a push) until 1-3 last year. Toads at opposite end-of-da'-spectrum were 4-7-1 ‘til 4-0 record last season. SMU is nice 3-0/3-0 on the year, besting Arkansas State, North Texas and Texas State. The downside? Marc Lawrence notes SMU 2-9 on the road in wake of consecutive SU/ATS triumphs...Kermits 27 SMU 22
BETWEEN DA’ HASHMARKS
BTW, is just us or does anyone-else out there see a lead-story pattern!
In da’ midst of a two-hour-and-change lightning-strike delay, Ames-finest and Iowa Highway Patrol personally-accompanied delivery of sixty (count ‘em, sixty!) sub-sammiches to Hawkeyes players! In fact, a Jimmy John’s employee was so-fast, he passed a sub so-fast to an Iowa-receiver, Iowa State freaked, leading Hawkeyes HC Kirk Ferentz to offer an immediate-scholarship, under da’ conditions that Coach actually-got one of the sammiches-in-question this time!
On a personal-note as a Nittany Lion alum, we tip our helmet in much-respect to K Jordan Stout fer successful 57-yard school-record FG vs. Pitt!
Mid-August marked the 50th-anniversary of Woodstock. Your humble-narrator, along with fans, alumni and surviving-members of the original-musical groups descended-upon Max Yasgur’s Dairy-Farm, including bands The Who-’Dat, Joe GameCocker, Sydney Crosby, Stills & Steve Nash (& Steve Young), as well as the Grateful Dead-Ball Foul and Ten-Yards After!
In related news, da’ Syracuse gridiron-squad...acknowledging the 50th Anniversary of Woodstock in Bethel, NY (originally-scheduled for 8/15-8/18), ultimately symbolically-intentionally-burned-down one of the hamburger-stands at half-time of last week’s Carrier Dome-contest vs. Clemson!)
If a classic Eagles (da’ band, not da’ team)-tune meets a Berkley Bear QB, would we hear...”Relax”, said the line-man...we arrre..programmed to re-ceive. You can check-down anyyytime you liike...but you can...nev-errrr..leee-eeave.”
During the 2nd-Quarter of his appearance in this week’s MNF game vs. the Browns, Jets quarterback Trevor Simian uttered “Omahaaaa!” A few snaps later, Simian was injured and replaced behind-center. Simian later clarified that the reference had “nothing to do with the play-call-in-question" and “was not a nod to Peyton Manning” but rather was the QB “flashing-back to the days when my parents forced me to watch re-runs of ‘Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom!”
Hooray Fer Da’ Little Guy: Contemplated it, but didn’t call it...unranked-Citadel 27-24 in OT over JOJA’ TECH! Other scores getting' our attention...RENO 19-13 over then-# Weber State, WYOMING 21-16 over unranked-Idaho and VA TECH 24-17 over Furman (Paladins led at half-time!). Best guess fer FCS over FBS this week?...William & Mary (unranked-but-seven-votes) over EAST CAROLINA and Hampton (no votes) over the Fightin’-Falwells of LIBERTY! Serious-stretch....Sudden Illinois over ARKANSAS STATE.
Black Shirt: The ebony-tee gets shared this week by punters Blake Gillikin and Kirk Christodoulou (fer da’ Alma Mater and Pitt,(respectively) fer outstanding-kicks that led to the opposing-offense being forced to travel the length of the field (more-or-less) to score, keeping the total well-beneath the forecasted-number!
“Wish We Had It Back”: We’d prolly re-think our choice of SoCal –4 ½ over BYU given our note that “Troy, now 1-7 in non-conference play the past two-plus seasons...”!
“Locked in a Box”: Last Week: 0-0-1 Season: 1-1-1 (.500) as Gators (-8) could manage only a push against Kentucky
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Shoppe Talk: Wisconsin remains the bridge-keeper at 0-3 (.000). Several teams are on the door-step at 0-2 (.000). More to follow next week!
Vindy’s Week 4 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 6-5-1 (.545)
Ball State +19 over NC STATE, Baylor –26 over RICE, Temple @ BUFFALO “under 53”, New Mexico State @ NEW MEXICO “over 68”
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