VINDY FLAGGED FOR COPY-CAT CELEBRATION
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (REUTERS)…Undeterred by Ravens CB Marcus Peters having his wallet lightened by the NFL to the tune of $14,037 for jumping into the stands and sipping from a fan’s brewski after snagging the victory-assuring interception vs. the Buffalo Bills, the Vegas Vindicator mimicked that revelry by leaping across the sportsbook-counter and indulging himself on the bookie’s beer in celebration of his winning-wager on Kent State +7 over Utah State in last Friday’s Frisco Bowl. The Golden Flashes not only covered that spread, but also came-through on the fab-forecaster’s upset call, beating the Aggies 51-41! Vindicator was temporarily-detained by in-house security until Las Vegas Metro PD arrived on the scene. Casino-officials had “no comment” on why their ticket-writer had possession of an alcoholic-beverage while on-duty!
Currently standing-in at 2-2 (.500) on the bowl-adventure (with the Independence Bowl to be played on 12/26) and fresh off participating in the tree-lighting ceremony at Tote-Da'-Rock-e-Feller Center, takin’ multiple selfies while en route to-and-from Santa’s Workshop on da’ Polaroid Express and judgin’ da’ Miss American Athletic Conference pageant, we propose...
THE WEBER KID’S 2019-20 BOWL PREDICTIONS FORECAST: DA’ SEQUEL
(“A Christmas Story” Little Orphan Annie Secret-Decoder Ring required!)
FRI. DEC. 27 (thru Dec. 30)
SAN DIEGO COUNTY CREDIT UNION HOLIDAY BOWL (@ San Diego, CA)
#19 Iowa vs. #22 Southern Cal (“under 52”): Best-guess fer “wish we had it back”. The Hawkeyes’ defense has been, and continues to be, basically-impregnable...#5 nationally at 13.2 ppg-allowed, 9-3 “under” and all 12 contests finishing below 52, after bringin’-back mere 4 starters from 2018’s defensive-unit (includin’ zero defensive-linemen!). Birds’ last three post-season ventures also came-in beneath the total here (33, 47 and 49). Iowa lit the bulbs for greater-than 27 just three-times (two of those vs. non-Big Tenderizer opponents). Trojans appear again in the bowls after 5-7 2018 record relegated them to the stands. Troy-Boys, who scored under 27 twice (14 @ UDUB and 24 at Eugene), went 2-3 SU/3-2 ATS vs. ranked-foes in 2019. Our initial-week of bowl-predictions saw our Sudzu-Central Michigan selections of Chippies-and-”under” fail on both counts. Redemption here...Iowa 23 USC 17
CHEEZ-IT BOWL (@ Phoenix, AZ)
#24 Air Force (-3) over Washington State: We’ve been on da’ Flight-Platoon since September, while pedestrian 6-5 ATS, all-season. Won’t stop here. Aim High’s only-defeat, at Boise State, kept it outta’ da’ conference-crown match vs. Hawaii. While the Fly-Boys of USAF will offer a warm-felt full-salute to their coaches, Coogs’ Seniors will render a one-finger salute to HC Mike Leach fer callin’ them-out earlier in the season. Vindy’s been on the Flight-Platoon all-year. Falcons have been reasonable on points-against, letting just three clubs put-up more than 24, in wake of blowin’-through rest of Mountain Messed Conference play. Eight of its ten triumphs were by double-digits. Pilots won 3 of 4 non-conference contests (losing at Annapolis). Wazzou gets credit fer an 11-win season behind a very-solid offense (39.2 ppg), but suffered from often having a moment-of-prayer on the stop-side (yielding 31.4 ppg, including 67 in early home-loss vs. UCLA and 53 in one-point win in Pullman over Oregon State). Only eleven Power-Five teams coughed-up more points on a regular-basis...NORAD 39 Cougars 31
SAT. DEC. 28
GOODYEAR COTTON BOWL CLASSIC (@ Arlington, TX)
#13 Penn State vs. #15 Memphis (“under 60 ½”): The Alma Mater has far-exceeded our expectations this year, getting back to a prestigious bowl and being briefly part of the playoffs-discussion, after falling to Kentucky in the 2019 Citrus. Despite going 0-3SUATS in each of the past three years’ bowls, Tigers won’t be an easy-out after winning the AAC title while facing the likes of currently-#21 Navy, #23 Cincinnati and just outside the Top 25 SMU. We expect the Lions, 7th-nationally in scoring-D at 14.1 ppg, to clamp-down MU’s high-powered O that led the Tigers to 8-4 “over” the total thus far. Memphis ain’t to shabby o defense either, ceding just 24.4 ppg. Nits output is down a bit, going from 34 ppg in 2018 to 30 ppg this season (discounting the near-”four-score” [of Gettysburg Address-fame] Lions hung on I-AA Idaho)...WE ARE 27 Memphis 23
CFP SEMI-FINAL @ COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFFS @ THE PLAY-STATION FIESTA BOWL (@ GLENDALE, AZ)
#2 Ohio State (+2) over #3 Clemson: This pick has nothing to do with our allegiance to da’ Big Tenderfoot Conference. By-and-large, akin to Clemson, Buckeyes have demolished most of their opposition and covered 10 of 13 along the way. Buckeyes’ undefeated-slate shows a collective 76-61 (.555) outright win-loss record, while the continuing-knock on Clemson has been its schedule, showing 71-74 in FBS (.489), rising slightly to .503 including FCS Wofford. OSU beat Top-25 foes five times (Wisconsin twice) and 6 teams with at least 8 SU victories (and respective conference champs FAU and Miami-Ohio) and four teams that put SU double-digits in the win-column. Tigers bested one ranked-opponent (Texas A&M back in September) and merely a pair of clubs with exactly-eight wins (three if ya mention Wofford, elevating opposition-winning-percentage to .503). Fueling the fire will be bulletin-board material that, despite being #2 according to the Playoff-committee, State is also the ‘dog to CFP-rated three-hole Tigers. Head-coaching experience favors Dabo Swinney, but 1st-year guy Ryan Day was an understudy of Urban Meyer! Justin Fields won’t be in top-shape for this, but Tarheels’ near-miss in Chapel Hill should provide some useful-clues for quieting QB Jeff Spicolli & Company...enough...as we also lean a bit toward the “under 63 ½”, with Scarlet & Gray D improving from 25 ppg in 2018 to currently-bridesmaid to Clemson 12.5 ppg-against on the campaign. CU has won and beaten the line in four-consecutive contests ahead of its national-title appearances, including 31-nada over OSU in 2016, but we’ll propose...Ohio State 29 Clemson 27
CFP SEMI-FINAL @ COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFFS @ THE CHICK-fil-A PEACH BOWL (@ Atlanta, GA)
#1 Louisiana State vs. #4 Oklahoma (“over 76”): Sooners are without four defensive-players, includin’ the top-tackler/sack-specialist, three of whom were suspended, and starting safety, Dellarin Rebel-Yell...er...um...Turner-Yell (averaging nearly six tackles per contest), who’s out with an injury, which suggests even-more scoring-chances fer da’ Bayou Bengals. Tigers held last three opponents to just above 12 ppg, but none of that trio had the offensive-productivity of Oklahoma (41 ppg omitting 70 vs. FCS North Dakota [albeit facing mostly defense-void Big 12 clubs!). In a point-a-palooza, we like...Tigers 51 Honeymooners 39
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, Vindy did admit guilt to the incident, noting “We’re the bettor who stole the bookie’s beer and we’re...sorry.” then bowed his head and thrust-out his arms, surrendering-peacefully. The officer onsite made no move. Vin took an advantage to steal a quote from Jim Carrey’s-version of Da’ Grinch, quipping “Aren’tcha’ gonna’ ‘cuff us?...Put us in a choke-hold??!...Bliiiiind us with pepper-spray???!!!!” With the casino-manager urgin’ the officer to “go with the pepper-spray", the cop uttered, “Yes, I heard him...and he said...he was sorry.”
Don’t get us wrong. We’re grateful fer all da’ nice gifts under da’ tree, but we were seriously-hopin' St. Nick would bring us a “Suzy Home-Field-Maker Oven”!
Not having the appropriate-personnel to run the “shot-gun” or the “pistol”, we promoted Ralphie from da’ practice-squad and lined-up in the Red Ryder BB-Gun formation!
Another one that would’ve been better fer Army-Navy, but...if football meets the Claymore mine, will the wording on said-explosive be “Defensive-Front Toward Enemy”??!!
There was no flag thrown fer “intentional grounding” during the Las Vegas Bowl because always “there was an eligible-receiver in the Area...51”!
Having hit the board fer 48 against Central Michigan, NCAA-officials, in-conjunction with betting-touts, have declared San Diego State must go scoreless in its inaugural-game of 2020 to return to its usual-average of 21 points-per-contest!
Quote of da’ Game between SMU and Florida Atlantic...”They’ve got less-than-a-’Nike’ to get it in.” We wonder how the folks at companies such as Converse, Reebok and Puma feel about that shameless-plug!!!
FYI...we typed-up this week’s picks while knockin’-back a few carafes with Pete Buttigieg in a wine-cave!
Pass-drops in Rose Bowls and tackles-fer-losses. Lotsa' cheer-leaders all wearin’ lip-glosses. Waitin’ to know what da’ bowl-season brings. These are a few of Vin’s favorite-things.
Has the battle-cry for NFL teams intentionally-tanking (Read: Cincinnati) to get LSU QB Burrow with the first-pick of da’ 2020 Draft been...”Blow fer Joe!”???!!!
Black Shirt: The preferred pectoral-cover is happily presented to Kent State kicker Matthew Trickett for flawless 5-5 FG/4-4 XP performance in helping the Golden Flashes win outright over USU!
Vindy’s Bowl Predictions Part II Best Bets: Last Week: 0-2 (with Pitt-Eastern Michigan TBD as we go to press) Season: 29-20 (.592...again, with the Quick Lane Bowl not-yet-kicked-off).
Michigan State-Wake Forest “over 50”, Illinois +6 ½ over California, Florida-Virginia “under 54 ½”
We’ll be back before the ball drops n Times Square, but now if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to purchase a set of NFL bedsheets, personally-autographed by OJ Simpson and Johnny Manziel, with the gift-card we got from Bed, Bath & Beyond-Da'-Line-of-Scrimmage!
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