The Weber Kid's '21-22 Bowl Predictions Part II

 NATIONAL TRAVELERS OVER-NIGHT RESPITE-CHAIN ENTICES KEGLERS 

CARROLTON, Texas (UPI)...Fresh off a successful pilot featuring interception-based lodging, local officials publicized a diversified countrywide launch of bowling-themed accommodations for weary-travelers called Motel 6-Pin. Picking-up the “spare-of-the-day" results in an instant upgrade to a “suite” with hot running-water, black-and-white TV reception of the three major networks and an in-room duckpins lane (and for a nominal extra-charge, the foul-line sensor will be disabled for added entertainment). Standard bowling-alley fare, such as pizza, hot-dogs, beer and nachos are available via a simply phone call to the front desk! Patrons also receive bowling-shirts and monogrammed hand-towels to wipe-off their balls, both of which are dry-cleaned daily by onsite housekeeping staff. Adventurous customers willing to pay “A Few Dollars More” can get a customized bathroom door hole from the Overlook Hotel, through which a Jack Nicholson-impersonator will make a cameo-appearance, press his face into and announce…”Heeeerrrre’s Johnny!” 

 

If ya’ plunked-down wagers of any kind usin’ our Part I selections (unless ya’ backed Old Dominion), yer a happy-camper, as our official-choices (now 34-39-1, .465) went a previously-unprecedented 5-0 (disregard the Army “upset-pick” over Mizzou because the short-bus riders that oversee the Las Vegas Review-Journal sports-page had the “High-Speed, Low-Drag" Soldiers getting points when, in fact, they went-off at game-time as one-TD-chalk, leading us to nearly-cancel our long-time subscription to said-fish-wrapper!) and “best bets” hit three-outta'-four!

  

Under the illuminated-Evergreen, nestled snuggly among the Baby Yoda See ‘N Say, Marvel Left-Guardians of the Galaxy board game, Fisher-Price Baby’s First Blocks-in-Da'-Back and Mortal Kombat “Scorpion” plush-toy, you’ll find...

 

THE WEBER KID’S 21-22 BOWL PREDICTIONS FORECAST: PART II 

(Drawin’ yellow-hankies fer illegal use of spiral-hams to da’ face!)

 

MON. DEC. 27

Military Bowl Presented by Peraton (@ Annapolis, MD) 

Boston College vs. East Carolina (“under 51 ½”): MINOR UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #1. We originally misread the sponsor as “Peloton”, which is not exactly the company ya want endorsing your game right-about now! Chestnut Hill Hawks went 8-3 “under”, including 7 of those tilts below this total. Gilded Iggles went meh 6-6 SU, with three of the dubyas squarin’-off vs. Colgate. UMess and Temple and went down in 6 of last 8 outright, so no appetite to lay even the nominal FG-chalk. Arrrgghh won 7 of last 10 SU, 5-1-1 “under” with 3rd-year HC Mike Houston at the helm. Pirates make first bowl since 28-20 defeat vs. Florida in 2014. Best ECU victories came late in the season...38-35 at Navy and 30-29 at Memphis and enter this one on 4-1 SU-run, but Blackbeards are young on both sides of the ball. BC has improved in scoring-D from 32.2 points-per-game-against to 28.4 to this year’s 22.2 (tied fer 34th-best nationally)..Jolly Roger 24 “Cheers” 20

 

TUES. DEC. 28 

TicketSmarter Birmingham Bowl (@ Birmingham, AL) 

Auburn (-2 ½) over #21 Houston: Best guess fer “Wish We Had It Back”. Tigers have had a chance to regroup (lost final four contests of the year, last three by an average of just 5 points per game) and get some extra reps for TJ Finley (5-1 TD-to-INT ratio in limited action), who backed-up now-departed Bo Nix (gone to Oregon) and nearly-led War Eagle to shocker over CFP #1 ‘Bama with help from the “tenacious-D” and thousand-yard rusher Tank Bigsby in four-extra-frames. Nuthin’ special about Tigers 3-1 SU/ATS non-conference on the year (and mere 8-point demise at Happy Valley early has lost its shine over the course of the campaign), but now show 12-3 outright win total outside the SEC the last four regular-seasons. Houston boasts a high-octane offense overall, but was limited to 20 vs. the Red Raiders, 28 vs. Navy and 20 by aforementioned Bearkats. Defensively, Houston yields just 20 ppg after coughing-up 32 ppg last season. Auburn grants just 22.2 ppg. Coogs reeled-off 11 straight victories after conceding opener vs. Texas Tech, but got convincingly-bounced by Cincinnati in the AAC Title match. Aubie has gone 1-4 SU/ATS in last five bowls. UH has dropped four-straight post-season outings on the scoreboard. Sumthin’ has to give...UA 24 Cougars 19 

 

THURS. DEC. 30 

Duke’s Mayo Bowl (@Charlotte, NC) 

North Carolina (-9) over South Carolina: Despite nine-contests culminating in beneath 58 ½ by the Columbia Barnyard Birds, we still think “over” would be a meritorious option. Underway in Charlotte, UNC should have at least a minimal advantage of fans in da’ stands. Combative Cacciatore got here by edging Auburn-squad pressin’-a-reserve Auburn quarterback into service after Bo Nix fell to injury, to earn a 6th-victory bowl-eligibility (reference our Birmingham Bowl comments above). We reluctantly support a lotta’ chalk this deep into the post-season and there’s nuthin’ special on Tarheels victim-list outside 58-55 win over then-ranked Demon Deacons, but an uncharacteristic list of plus-teams has beaten the spread (and won SU!) to-date (with multiple melees to be decided in Part I) lead us to lean on da’ law-of-averages ahead of Christmas Eve. Both sidelines are toddlers on defense. SC was inconsistent at-best, besting Florida and Auburn, while squeezing paper-thin by eventually 2-11 Vandy and layin’ season-ending goose-egg 30-zip vs Clemson squad havin’ an-un-Tiger-like campaign. Last Clash of da’ Carolinas was 2019, won by 24-20 by the Wooly Mammoths. Bizarre random thought...would a combination of poultry and cleats be known as “Chicken & Waffle-Irons"??!! Unplanned (seriously!), late, game-time decision shameless-plug fer Hash-House-A-Go-Go??!! ...La Brea 44 Game-Hens 27 

TransPerfect Music City Bowl (@ Nashville,TN) 

Purdue (+4 ½) over Tennessee: MINOR UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #2. Choo-Choos, off last year’s truncated 2-4 COVID ledger, were in-line to conquer the West Division, (fer a hot-minute!) to begin conference-play, but the Big Tabernacle swallowed its own on a weekly-basis (thus the absence of a league-rep in the CFP Quintessential Quad!). Nonetheless, Iron Horses were pesky flies-in-the-ointment all season, takin’-out then-#2 Iowa and now-#11 Michigan State. Young on offense this year, watch-out fer these guys in ‘22. (Ya’ heard it here first!). UT first-year coach Josh Heupel’s plethora of upperclassmen did not translate to “all-that” in SEC contests (final regular-season 8-3 SU record, but 3-3 outright over most-recent half-dozen). Kudos to Phil Steele for preseason-recognition of that fact! Signature Raccoon-Caps' dubya was perhaps 45-42 in Lexington over current #25 Kentucky. Congrats, but...the remainder of the campaign shows...er... um... what???!!!. Purdue is 2-1 SU/3-0 ATS last three years against Southeastern Conference opposition. Lettin’ our B1G freak-flag fly! HO Gauge (Model-trains aficionados will know da’ reference...and it’s got nuthin’ to do with...well...ya know!) 27 Tennessee 24 

SRS Distribution Las Vegas Bowl (@ Las Vegas, NV) 

Arizona State vs. Wisconsin (“under 44): UPSET ALERT! Third-allusion to a ‘dog potentially-finishing ahead on the scoreboard prediction in a single-fiver ever!? Feel our forehead, take our temp, check our cheeks fer color (no, not those “cheeks”)! Honestly, we started-out writin’-up support fer ASU +7 and gradually wilted toward below the total as we looked more and more at the stats. Both began the year with lofty-aspirations, but each was consumed by respective-conferences that were weekly-cannibalistic on its own. Sun Devils’ opponents finished a collective 14-46 outright. Wisky, behind Ethel...er ..um..Graham...Mertz..., finished victorious at Purdue and versus top-25 Iowa (in Madison), yet perished at Happy Valley, neutral-site Notre Dame and home vs. Michigan. Varmints are 5-2-1 SU last 8 bowls.  Sun Devils have covered 7 of past 8 getting points! Cheese-Heads yielded 16.4 ppg on the campaign.  Beezelbubs gave-up just shy of 21 ppg-against. Played at Allegiant Stadium in Sin City, Sun Devils-faithful should dominate the fan-base in da’ stands...Merit-Badgers 19 “Hermey Edwards doesn’t like to make toys!” 17  

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS 

 

BTW, rolling a perfect 300 at any sites of the lodging-in-question gets the entire-stay for half-price and an “8x10 color, glossy photo” from Arlo Guthrie’s “Alice’s Restaurant” on the Wall-of-Tenth-Frame! 

Vindicator placed a money-line wager at –135 on Kentucky over Iowa and handed the ticket-writer $14.00,and stealing a line from “Home-Field Alone”, quipped “Keep the change-of-possession, ya filthy animal”! The bookie then fired-back, pointing at our haggard-hero, quoting Aaron Rodgers and exclaiming “I still own you!”

 

Premiering this month on the big-screen...an infamous play-call by Jon Gruden meets the latest film-offering from the Marvel Universe in...”Spider 2 Y Banana Man: No Way Home-Field"! 

Currently under-review, was Charlie-in-Da'-Tackle Box when he threw the ball away??!!!

 

In light of the 2021 Stanley Cup playoffs Game 3 between the Pens and the Isles, which saw damn-near both team-busses-full of players sent concurrently to the penalty box, teams have decided to widen/lengthen the size of their respective sin-bins to accommodate larger numbers at the same time. In fact, at one point, the play was 0-on-0 as each club’s goalies were the only players on the ice for two-minutes. The resulting-play, with each net-minder alternating paddling da’ puck back-and-forth while harmlessly keeping the nets on their moorings, was reminiscent of the 1972 Atari video-game of Pong! 

It's a little-known fact that Creighton’s NCAA Tournament Sweet 16 berth in March was attributed to Senior Guard-Forward Denzel Mahoney, grandson of famous ventriloquist-dummy Charlie Mahoney! 

The NHL All-Star Game break includes a skills-competition featuring players attempting to break plates attached to various points of the goal net. While the Home-Run Derby is nice, how ‘bout if future MLB All-Star Game events pit various batters trying to shatter dinnerware placed atop dug-out rails, outfield walls, bases, spots on the scoreboard? Hitting foul-balls into strategically-placed beer-cups in the stands?!

 

Some scenes from a couple holiday-classics for those who mighta’ missed them...at the Reindeer Games, Donner, in a nod to a certain FOX Sports announcer, told Rudolph to “Just get out there and do your stuff. Remember...you’re myyyy little Joe Buck!” and Jim Carrey’s Grinch distributing mail at the Who-Ville post-office...”Jury duty, jury duty, blackmail, pink-slip, Vindy’s Picks, chain-letter, Vindy’s Picks, eviction-notice...!” 

A local sportsbook ticket-writer pled guilty to makin’ a few extra bucks for questioning sports-gamblers about their extended car-warranties at the counter! 

A musical number ya won’t see in “The Year Without a Santa Claus”...”They call me Bet-Miiiz-er...wa-gers that I touch...turn to loss in my clutch...Iiiiii’m too much...tooooo much!”

 

Black Shirt: Part I’s Yearned-After Apparel goes to Alabama-Birmingham RB DeWayne McBride fer a three-yard-rush, converting a Blazers’ 4th-and-1 at the BYU-20, and leading to a UAB-touchdown, sending our call of “over 54 ½" to fitty-nine with a little-north of six-minutes left! Honorable-mention to Fresno State HC Jeff Tedford fer scripting run-into-the-heart of the Miners’-D and “take a knee”, up 7, late on UTEP side-of-da'-field to solidify-single-digit final-margin against UTEP (+11 ½)!

"Locked in a Box"- Hudson River-Rats raise the preferred-selection-of-the-da' week to 8-7 (,533), maintainin' the "under 57 1/2" against Missouri!    

 

Bowls Part II Best Bets: Bowls Part I: 3-1 Season: 29-32-1 (.475) 

Auburn-Houston “under 51 ½”, Air Force-Louisville “over 55 ½, Virginia-Sudden Mercurochrome “over 71 ½”, Clemson –1 over Iowa State   

We’ll be back with our Part III choices before da’ ball drops in Times Square, but until then...Pass on Earth, Goodwill Toward Linemen. (And Festivus fer da’ rest of us!). Now if you’ll excuse us, we’ve assumed duties as director of the Charlie Brown Christmas play!