AIRPORT ANTICS LAND POSSIBLE ROLE ON COLLEGE GRIDIRON
PHOENIX, Arizona (REUTERS)…Over the weekend, a 30-year-old man, identified as Daniel Ramirez, exited a Boeing 747 while taxiing its way into the gate at local Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport, via a rear galley door, landing safely on the tarmac. With his non-scholarship-award application to West Point still pending, Martinez claimed he was trying to impress Army football coaches. Ramirez successfully caught the eye of HC Jeff Monken, who took notice of his prowess and said “Really hope we get this guy...bailing without a chute and no specialized airborne-training, from a perfectly-good airplane?! He could walk-on and see some time on special teams for us!”
We’re still in traction after bein’ hit by the big Mack truck that caused our 0-5 championship reek (first time since we moved to the current quint-tilt format in Week 6 of 2019!) dropping us to 28-39-1 (.418) and considerin’ comin’ outta’ retirement to get a day-job!
As a former tank-platoon leader, we prefer to stay stealthily in turret-down defilade, while “observing fire” on...
THE WEBER KID’S 2021 ARMY-NAVY FORECAST
(Sponsored this week by “The General” and sounding “better in the shower”!)
SAT. DEC. 11
Navy (+7 ½) over Army (@ East Rutherford, NJ): Oddly, we found no evidence of us offering analysis and prediction of last season’s edition. So be it. Platoon, 8-3 SU, despite three-game losing-streak (at Ball State by a dozen, at Madison by half-a-dozen and by two touchdowns vs. currently-ranked Wake Forest), 5-5 ATS, 6-4 “under” (three tilts below 36), prevailed over Navy in four of previous five outright (3-2 ATS, 3-2 below this total). Best wins came 38-35 vs. fellow-bowler Western Kentucky or 31-16 more-recently at Liberty. Also beat post-season participants Joja’ State and Air Force. Middies got off to dismal 0-3 straight-up start and have spent the season tryin’ to unsuccessfully extricate themselves from Gilligan’s Island (editorial question...Ginger or Mary-Ann??!!) and this is Ensigns (3-8 SU) end-game. Sailors faced better-overall-competition, knockin’-off Central Florida at home and Tulsa on the road (and we won’t mention Temple), covering 7 of 11, losing by 8 at #Houston and 7 vs. SMU. Logic suggests the chalk and the da’ the “under”. In keepin’ with da’ season, we say...Scrooge that! Logic has been a four-letter-word fer us to-date and gotten us scorched more times than not in ‘21. Boat People beat Army by 24 in 2019, lost 15-nada last year. Previous seven had been decided by 7 or fewer. Middies have gone 4-0 against the number in last quad on neutral-sites, closed-out ‘20 outscored 44-13 and would like to make amends with a more-competent-showing here. No better time than to do so than now vs. rival ground-pounders. Army hosted FCS Bucknell and FBS scavengers UMass and UConn. Midshipmen’s worst-opponent was 2-10 Temple. Earth-Pigs light the bulbs at 35.5 ppg, Salty-Dogs at 20.4 ppg. Both like to go on 4th-Down (Soldiers converted on 25 of 35 tries [71.4%], Swabbies moved the chains on 24 of 34 [70.6%]) to keep the clock running, but also expanding scoring-chances (see our “best bets” segment below). If it comes to a late kick, field-goals aren’t a given on either side, but ain’t bad at collective 20 fer 25…”Stripes” 24 PT 109 20
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, no truth to the rumor Martinez displayed serious-agility, regaining presence briefly aboard the left-wing of the plane (also not gone unnoticed by West Point assistants) and pressed his hands and lips against a window lookin’ to terrorize William Shatner in a replay of a certain classic-episode of the Twilight Zone!
In June, the US Navy set-off the equivalent of 3.9 magnitude detonations in the vicinity of its latest aircraft-carrier, the U.S.S Gerard R. Ford, as a “shock-trial” to see if it could stand-up to “extreme battle conditions”. In a like-move, Vindy’s Picks 2021 underwent similar experiences, having nearby illegal fireworks, cherry-bombs, model-rocket engines, exploding paper-bags and balloons! BTW, a string of cap-gun ammo sent our preseason-team members scurryin’ fer cover!
If the lyrics of a certain Elton John song meet the quarterback, do we hear...”I’m a pocket-man…pocket-mannnnn...passin’ ‘tween da’ guards up there alonnne”.
FYI...when not forecasting games, Vindy takes care of Marshawn Lynch’s chicken!
The Academy of Arts, who beat UC-Davis, as referenced in last week’s college hoops “little-guy” item was still behind the Colorado School of Mines (who garnered five votes in the DII rankings this week). BTW, the Orediggers’ mantra is “Front Toward Enemy”!!!
Is it just us or would FOX NFL broadcaster Greg Olsen, if he shaved off his ‘stache, seriously-resemble Dexter Morgan, of serial-killer notoriety?! Askin’ fer a friend!
If a certain actor known for “To Sir, With Justin Love” and “They Call Me Barry Gibbs” replaces Daniel Radcliffe in a certain fantasy-series by JK Personal-Fouling, do we see...”Sydney Potier & the Order of the Phoenix Cardinals”???!!!! “Sydney Potier and the Half-Time Prince”???!!!!
No truth to the rumor that a stylist named Delilah was recruited by da’ Boston Bruins to trim da’ locks of Washington Caps’ Samsonov to reduce his powers in-goal!
Shoppe Talk: We’re coverin‘ the Shoppe floors with Baylor Bearskin rugs (0-4, .000). Meanwhile, da’ Wolverines continue their stay, now at 1-4 (.200)!
“Locked in a Box”: Joja’s epic-failure (we smell fix by SEC officials fer purposes of CFP!) vs. ‘Bama lowers the record to 7-7 (.500).
Vindy’s Army-Navy Best Bets: Last Week: 1-3 Season: 26-30-1 (.464)
Army-Navy “over 34”.
On da’ horizon...Part I of our infamous bowl-predictions! Now if you’ll excuse us, we need to finish our “Arrrrmy training, Sir!” without Sgt. Hulka!
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