ATTEMPTED ONFIELD TERMINATION BACKFIRES
TEMPE, Arizona (REUTERS)...It was inevitable. School officials knew it. The coach knew it. His tenure on the sidelines for the Sun Devils was nearing its end. Following Arizona State’s unpleasant home demise against Eastern Michigan, a decision was made that it was time. Before he could even make his way off the field, Herm Edwards was accosted in the end zone by school president Michael M. Crow and Athletic Director Ray Anderson, who advised the coach, who went 26-20 since 2018 with three bowl appearances in four years, his services were no longer required. A nearby side judge threw a flag, recognizing that Anderson was not outside the tacklebox when he figuratively threw away the coach, who also did not make it back to the line-of-scrimmage. The penalty resulted in loss-of-down and a 15-day extension for Edwards to remain on the staff through games versus Utah and USC. As the crowd continued to file out of the stadium, Crow left Anderson standing alone, bewildered and wondering what had just transpired while still-Coach Edwards pumped his fist repeatedly as he jogged down the tunnel.
The College Football Pantheon continues to give us its favor, granting a 4-1 (11-4, .733) effort over the previous fortnight! The Volunteers won’t be getting a Christmas card from us though. See our “locked in a box” segment below!
Gaining our next possession, we step-up into the pocket to deliver...
THE WEBER KID’S 2022 WEEK 4 FORECAST
(As flown into Martha’s Vineyard)
SAT. SEPT. 24
Wisconsin @ #3 OHIO STATE (“under 57”): In all honesty, we think the Terps-Wolverines match will end up being the better game, but we soldier-on. Buckeyes’ victory over Our Lady doesn’t look quite as important now since Irish lost to Marshall, who was beaten in OT by (GASP!) Bowling Green, who was 7-24 outright going into that contest. State’s much-maligned D has improved, allowing just 14.3 to-date after giving up 28.6 ppg thru first three of last season. Badgers, who fell twice to OSU in 2019, have won 10 of their last 12 back to 2021, but one of those “L”s came at Camp Randell versus Washington State, who kept Wisky off the board in the second half. State is on 24-1 SU run in Big Tekken play. Badgers have ceded just 8 ppg so far...Buckeyes 34 Cheeseheads 14
#5 Clemson @ #21 WAKE FOREST (“over 55 ½”): LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. It’s been 14 years and a span of 12 games since CU lost to Wake, with the Deacs finishing closer than 14 points only once (2011 when the Tigers rallied to take a 31-28 decision). One of Wake’s two outright defeats came at Clemson 48-27. Tigers haven’t played a game of importance yet. The Forest held on to best Liberty 37-36 last week and have covered last three getting a buffer in Winston-Salem. Clemson has pocketed 25 of previous 29 ACC contests but are just 17-12 ATS (and mundane 9-11 the last two seasons). Both sides lean toward more returning offensive production (averaging 41.6 ppg between the pair) than D coming back. Sam Hartman is drawing Heisman discussion, having nearly as many passing yards (625) in barely more than 2 games than DJ Uiagaleilei (662) over a full three outings. Can’t rule out the upset, but we’ll conservatively propose...Clemson 38 Fiendish Fathers 34
#10 Arkansas (+2) over #23 Texas A&M (@ Arlington, TX): Mayhap peeking ahead to this one, Arkansas rallied from a 17-point hole to get past FCS then-#6 Mizzou State. Unsightly 17-9 “success” over Miami team not known as a defensive behemoth and whose exploits during the first two weeks didn’t really allow for true assessment, should quell alumni calls to “send Jimbo to Limbo”...fer now. Both clubs are seriously young. It’s been more apparent for the Aggies, who’ve won 4 of its last 5 on neutral ground, covering only 1. Soooey Pigs have gone 2-1 SU/3-0 ATS in similar conditions. ‘Backs took 4 of 5 vs. Ranked opponents last year. A&M is 6-7 in its last 13 against the Top 25. Arkansas is on 8-1 SU run over its last 9 overall, losing only at Tuscaloosa ...by a TD...Hogs 28 Gig ‘Em 24
#18 WASHINGTON (-13 ½) over Stanford: Unfamiliar spot for the Huskies, who haven’t seen the rankings since Week 1 of last season. Good year at the moment for the Apple State as UDUB and waaaaaaaaayyyy cross-state rival Cougars (if ya get to Moscow, Idaho, you’ve gone too far!) have a collective W-L record of 6-0 (4-0 ATS vs. I-A competition). Indy transfer Michael Penix Jr. has been the answer for Washington at QB, throwing for nation second-best almost 1100 yards with a 10-1 TD-to-pick ratio. Cardinal ain’t horrible defending the pass...#51 for 200 pypg and allowing 4 TDs with one INT. Trees lost by 13 at Sudden Cal and last three in this series have been decided by 7 or fewer but Stanford got last week off and has been betting-poison off a bye the past 7 years...Sled Dogs 34 Pueblo Elmo 17
#22 Texas @ TEXAS TECH (“over 60”): We’d consider laying the 6 ½ with the Longhorns as well, even before learning QB1 Quinn Ewers would be available if/when needed this Saturday. Back-up QB Hudson Card has done a stellar job orchestrating the offense since Ewers’ injury, nearly upsetting ‘Bama and scoring three touchdowns in victory against pretty-good UTSA club. Meanwhile, RB Bijon Robinson has recorded 311 rushing yards and 5 scores. Tech has been stingy vs. the run, yielding just 82.7 ypg, but admittedly has faced two pass-heavy teams in Houston and NC State. Tech also prefers to put it in the air and was anticipated to have a down year, but shows 2-1 thus far. Opponents have dented the board for total of fitty points thru three games in Austin, but we’re ignoring that stat and relying on the old adage that “the best predictor of future performance is past performance.” Totals from last three meetings are 73, 119 and 105...Steers 41 “Guns-Up” 31
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, a nearby student who overheard the brief encounter revealed the AD went “full gameshow host mode” and simply said “Thank you fer playing. We’ve got some lovely parting gifts for you back in the locker room.”
Following the Buckeyes’ difficult win over Notre Dame, Coach Ryan Day said, “we have to be able to win ugly.” Similarly, Vindicator told his supporters they “have to be able to ‘ugly cry’”.
Not for official record, but we’d lean toward the following selections from the rest of the Top 25: Maryland +17 over MICHIGAN, Northern Illinois +25 over KENTUCKY, Baylor @ IOWA STATE “under 45” and Utah @ ARIZONA STATE “under 52”.
Pool Noodle Punch-Up of Da’ Week: Hawai’i @ New Mexico State. First to team to score 10 points wins...or what Howard Cossell would dub “Da’ Snooza’ in Las Cruzas”!
Eli Manning infiltrated Penn State try-outs this week donning a wig, mustache and heavy make-up to pass himself off as walk-on “Chad Powers”, lesser-known brother of Austin Powers, who, after watching “Chad” complete some pretty nifty throws and drawing some praise, asked coaches, “Does he make you horny, Baby??!!” BTW, Manning’s smokescreen looked like a mash-up between Ron Burgundy (“Stay classy, Happy Valley.”) and Jeff Spiccoli (or at least Trevor Lawrence with a caterpillar under his nose!).
Las Vegas Metro PD is still trying to find the fan who slapped QB Kyler Murray following the Cardinals’ OT win over the Raiders. Will Smith could not be reached for comment.
The Cleveland Browns unveiled their new midfield logo, Brownie the Elf. Fer those old enuff to remember, he looks like an annoyed Burger Chef character striking the Heisman pose! More on this one next week.
If the Saints’ QB meets a Carrie Underwood tune, would it be called, “Jameis Take the Wheel”???!!!
Hooray Fer Da’ Little Guy: None of our considered upsets panned out (though then-#1 North Dakota State just missed, losing 31-28 at Arizona). Hats off to Southern Illinois (33 votes) for subduing Northwestern 31-24. This week, we like #6 Sacramento State over COLORADO STATE and #18 Fordham over OHIO.
Black Shirt: This one’s a bit of a stretch, though gratefully, the fabric of the Terrific Tee will accommodate that as we award it to Memphis quarterback Seth Henigan for fumbling on 4th-and-1 with 10 minutes left in the 3rd Quarter, forcing the Tigers to turn da’ ball over on downs for the second time in the game and stalling the drive at the Arkansas State 47, helping the Redhawks (+14 ½) finish just 12 behind and validating one of our two correct “best bets”.
“Lock of Da’ Week”: With the game already a foregone conclusion and up 56-6 over Akron, the Vols scored a meaningless TD with :59 to play, pushing the total “over” 65 ½ Quoting South Park’s Eric Cartman, we say “Those bastards!”), lowering our “lock” record to 1-2 (.333).
Vindy’s Week 4 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 6-6 (.500)
Boston College @ FLORIDA STATE “under 48 ½”, Miami-Ohio +7 over NORTHWESTERN, North Texas @ MEMPHIS “over 69”, Sudden Mist +12 ½ over TULANE
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