SIN CITY CONFOUNDS PRE-SUPER BOWL LANDSCAPE ISSUES
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (ITAR-Tass)...In February, the SF 49ers lodged grievances, being displeased with the soft practice field in Las Vegas, calling the surface at the UNLV Fertitta Complex “too soft” while the KC Chiefs enjoyed the firmer confines of the Raiders’ facility in nearby Henderson. The NFL laid artificial turf, which given rainy weather in the days ahead of the contest, retained too much water and not enough sunshine to suit the team. The NFC Champs had three choices...1) carry on 2) bring in more recent, firmer sod or 3) cut a deal with the league to spend time at the Raiders training venue when the Chiefs weren’t on the field. But when it was all said and done, it appears miscommunications between NHL and NFL got confused, with the National Football League covering the rink at T-Mobile with artificial turf and the NHL replacing UNLV Fertitta Field with freshly-groomed sheets of ice. In fact, during workouts, 49ers players drawing penalties were actually sent to the “sin bin” for two minutes!
We breezed to a third-straight “lock” pick on Friday, then hung on to ultimately go 3-2 (10-4-1, .714), even hitting both ends of the Notre Dame-Purdue predictions!
Just in case his microphone, following the latest presidential debate, was cutoff in the sportsbook, Vindicator came prepared with cardboard signs declaring his picks for...
THE WEBER KID’S WEEK 4 FORECAST
(As transmitted through the secret earbud in one of Kamala Harris’ earrings!)
SAT. SEP. 21
#15 OKLAHOMA (+7) over #6 Tennessee: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Vols basically got a bye week, resting starters and giving the subs some reps in 71-0 annihilation of Kent State. (BTW, Golden Flushes travel this Saturday to Happy Valley! Ouch!).Sooners got a tussle from Tulane, not putting it away until posting 10 points in the final six minutes. OK is young at the skills but are well-stocked on the D. Sooners have taken 20 of the last 23 in Norman and haven’t gotten points at Gaylord Family-Oklahoma Memorial Stadium (they’ll never fit that on a game-program!) since 2016 (+1 vs. Ohio State) and just once in the past 10 years! Tennessee has yielded only 13 points total over its first three tilts, while scoring an average of (GASP!) 64 ppg. Okies have beaten the line in 7 of most recent 8 versus the Top 25. The NCAA decided the Vols hadda’ vacate 11 dubyas between 2019 and the year whose name must not be uttered ever again in light of violations by then-HC Jeremy Pruitt. Eleven victories across two seasons when Rocky Top went a collective 11-12?! “The horror. The horror!” Foregoing the “under 58 ½” might come back to haunt us, but...Boomer Schooner 23 Rocky Top 20
#11 Southern Cal (-5 ½) over #18 MICHIGAN: An early week edition of ESPN’s Sportscenter noted 8 of the last 10 meetings between these two came via the Rose Bowl! UM let Arkansas State hang around almost too long in the last five-and-a-half minutes of the homecoming game and QB Davis Warren will grab some pine for this one after tossing three INTs in that game. Replacement Alex Orji is a dual-threat but has seen a limited number of live-snaps. SoCal enters this one off a bye, but has covered just 2 of previous 9 as road chalk. With triumph over LSU, USC is now 4-8 SU vs. ranked opponents. All three of Michigan’s contests have finished below the total (currently 46 ½). Big Blew has gone 29-1 SU/19-8-3 ATS in B10 play, but we’re struggling mentally to call this a “conference” game...USC 30 Michigan 17
Georgia Tech (+10 ½) over #19 LOUISVILLE: It was literally a coin-flip to decide whether we’d include this one or NC State @ #21 CLEMSON. Tigers won the toss and deferred to next week! Almost took the “over 57 ½” here. Da’ Ville eased past the Yellowjackets 39-34 in ‘23 opener, so maybe some revenge on the minds of the Hive, who squandered a DD-lead in that contest. Cardinals are 9th nationally in rushing yards per game. Wreck had been challenging Army and Navy for that title in 2009, but has since gone more balanced. Jackets have covered 7 of last 8 vs. the Top 25 under now 3rd-year HC Brent Key. Louisville wanders to South Bend next, but rested last week and have played two fewer live-fire tilts than Tech and have been about fitty-fitty against the line in ACC play over past three seasons...Redbirds 34 Real Houseflies of Atlanta 27
Arkansas State (+21) over #20 IOWA STATE: As we alluded to higher, Red Wolves (Hello, Sun Belt!) got a pair of TD passes in the last 5 ½ minutes to make it a game in loss to Michigan. ASU returns 10 first-teamers on offense and six on defense to garner Phil Steele’s #9 Most Improved Team, #14 surprise team and a boatload of upperclassmen on both sides of da’ ball. Cyclones haven’t bested a I-A foe by this many since September of 2022 and show meh 7-6 as home faves. Arkansas State is now 9-3 getting points away from Jonesboro...Dust Devils 34 Arkie State 20
Buffalo @ #23 NORTHERN ILLINOIS (“under 43 ½”): In the wake of da’ Sled Dogs reaching the Top 25, we offer the Mighty Agricultural Conference some props. Second choice fer “lock”. Huskies, off a bye week so no letdown spot here, have not been mentioned in the conversation for CFP berth as highest ranked Group of Five conference champion yet, but the upset of Notre Dame took on more shine following Our Lady’s demolition of Purdue in West Lafayette last week. Last meeting was 2021 victory 33-27 by Northern Illinois in Buffalo. All three of the Bulls contests to-date, with a first year HC, have ended beneath this total. Buffalo had been 10-4 ATS on the road the last three seasons before getting white-washed 34-0 at Mizzou and are more seasoned on defense than on offense and are 8-15-1 in conference play of late...Canines 27 Buffalo 7
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, fer the local readership, you’d think the NFC champs were asked to run drills on the Clark County Wetlands!
Michigan unveiled its new $14M locker room, with amenities including a bowling alley, golf simulator, pool table, barbershop and players’ lounge. Likewise, Vindy revealed recent upgrades to his mancave...a bocce ball field, previously-owned Schick razors, Commodore 64 with game cartridges, backgammon board and a lawn chair next to pitcher of sun-tea!
We noticed a July headline proclaiming, “Big 12 Commissioner Takes Clear Stance on Jersey Patches”. Our knee-jerk reaction was, “Why would the top guy in the B12 give a flyin’ rat’s about what the Rutgers Scarlet Knights were attaching to their unis?!” before realizing he was endorsing overall adornments on players’ duds advertising any given commercial sponsor for the purpose of bringin’-in “mo’ money, honey!”. In fact, there was some similar thought given to the attire worn by officials working Big Twelve games as well, even to the point of renaming the Power Four group altogether, such as the Calgon 12 or Big Temo Conference! Do we hear the Pacifier 2 Conference out west????!!!
NFL kickoff rules have gotten so absurd that only the kicker and two kick-returners can advance until an official yells “Simon says move!”
The National Football League tried to put some serious space between itself and Harrison Butker following controversial comments during a May commencement speech at Benedictine College in Kansas. While the Chiefs were unable to release Butker altogether due to contractual issues, Kansas City exercised a loophole allowing it to assign him as part of the kitchen staff preparing and attending to the team’s training table, where the only things he’ll be kicking in the near-future are dirty pots & pans!
It's a little-known fact that the Romans developed their numerals to properly identify each year’s Super Bowl.
Did anybody else out there think the American Leaguers’ unis at this year’s All-Star contest looked like freshly game-worn-and not-yet-washed duds from a beer-league softball game?!
In August, ‘Hawk Tuah Girl’ Haliey Welch hurled the ceremonial first pitch of a NY Mets-Oakland A’s game. The toss was called outside the strike-zone for failure to beat the pitch-clock and the home plate umpire immediately ejected Welch fer throwin’ a spit-ball!
In the wake of the Paris Olympics games fiascos, how ‘bout we scrap breakdancing and 3x3 hoops and just go with games of “HORSE”, synchronized fly-fishin' and artistic paddleboard???!!
Hooray fer Da’ Little Guy: None of our suggested Week 3 upsets occurred, but we tip our helmet to Gardner-Webb, who just missed, falling 27-26 at Charlotte. This week’s guesses...St. Francis (not ranked, no votes) @ EASTERN MICHIGAN, #19 Northern Iowa @ HAWAI’I, Eastern Washington (not ranked, no votes) @ UNR, #20 Florida A&M @ Troy, (not ranked, no votes) and Central Connecticut State (not ranked, 7 votes) @ UMASS.
“Wish We Had It Back”: Yep, we called it...and would like a mulligan for our pick of Oklahoma State-TULSA “over 62 ½" with the final total settling at 55!
Black Shirt: An entire round of 7 (count ‘em, 7!) midnight midriffs go the PAC-2 officiating crew that tossed 13 first-half yellow hankies (and 15 in all) at the San Diego Aztecs in the first-half, including an illegal block flag that negated Sudzu LB Tanu Letuli’s pick-six, allowing Cal to cover minus-18 ½ and salvage one of our two correct “best bets”
“Lock of Da’ Week”: Last Week: 1-0 Season: 3-0 (1.000). Our choice of “under 59 ½” was never in jeopardy as Arizona’s offense never got off the plane in Manhattan to take the field against K-State!
Vindy’s Week 4 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 6-6 (.500)
Rice @ ARMY “under 43”, Southern Miss @ JACKSONVILLE STATE “over 60”, NAVY +9 ½ over Memphis, SAM HOSTON STATE –16 ½ over New Mexico State
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