Vindy's Picks Week 6-2006

In light of looming mid-term elections and being creatively uninspired by recent news events, Vindicator elects to reach into the archives to reprint one of his favorite lead stories from the 2003 season......

PIGSKIN PART OF ARNOLD’S 100-DAY PLAN

SACRAMENTO, California (CNN)...With the final tallies in and his transition team of Vin Diesel, Angelina Jolie, Lee Corso and Danny DeVito surrounding him, the Terminator spelled out his expected accomplishments in the first 100 days of his administration in the Golden State. Said Schwarzenegger, "As guvanah of dis great state, I will repeal da’ state cah tax, balance da’ buhget and most impawtently...I will return Suddern Cahleeforneeya footbahl to national prahminence. Schools like UC-Santah Cruz, Cal-State Foolaton and Sahn Hosaaaayy State will compete again for da’ National Title. I will puhsonally take dem to da’ gym and pump...dem up!" Arnold also repented for past indiscretions, noting "In my yute, I did a lot of tings that I taught were playful at da’ time, like making fun of Veeendy’s fawcast. But I know now dat it was jus disrespecful, and faw dat, I apologice."

But back to the future....Well-ahead of the bookies at 8-3 thru the first 11 of his Week Five calls, Vindicator started hotdogging like Olympic snowboard-cross racing shoulda’-been-gold medalist, Lindsey Jacobellis, leading the bookies to send in that German guy from the Volkswagen commercials to "un-pimp Vindy’s auto!". Weber finished the week at a still-decent 11-7 and stands at 8 games below the Mendoza Line with a season tally of 40-48-3 (.454).

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 6 FORECAST
(So easy, a caveman could pick ‘em!)

THURS. OCT. 5
NC STATE over #17 Florida State taking 11: Wolfpack defense is stout...11th in the nation against the pass and yielding a reasonable 20 points per game. ‘Noles are passing for 315 yards per game, but could be one-dimensional since only 24 I-A teams rush for fewer yards per game. Does Chuck Amato and the boys have another upset in ‘em?...NC State 21 Injuns 19

FRI. OCT. 6
#9 Louisville over MIDDLE TENNESSEE STATE giving 33: Best chance for the Blue Raiders is to borrow the Titans’ mascot, T-Rac, and have him back his golf cart over whomever lines up at QB for the Cardinals this week... Cards 38 MTSU 0

SAT. OCT. 7
Bowling Green over #1 OHIO STATE taking 34: State is perfect 5-0 ATS. Buckeyes got four turnovers to get past Iowa. Hope we see the Falcons that won on the road over Ohio instead the ones that got smoked by Kent State 38-3 two weeks ago...Buckeyes 34 BGSU 7

Arkansas over #2 AUBURN taking 16: Teams should be starting to catch up to Auburn right about now and maybe consecutive spread losses by the Tigers support that. Hogs are 0-4 ATS. Might be a good spot for them to get their first spread win against Auburn club that hosts Florida next week...Tigers 24 Soooeeey Pigs 14

Washington over #3 USC taking 20 ½: UDUB is finally prospering under Ty Willingham. Troy has posted back-to-back spread losses, both vs. conference competition...USC 32 Sled Dogs 14

#4 West Virginia over MISSISSIPPI STATE giving 26: Bulldogs aren’t playing badly on defense but can’t move the ball consistently. Croom’s club is 2-8 ATS in its last 10 going back to last season. Together with sister Magnolia State school Ol’ Miss, the two squads are 3-17 ATS in their last 20...WVU 38 MSU 3

#8 Louisiana State over #5 FLORIDA taking 2: Homecoming for the Gators, who should really only be 2-3 ATS, but got a very late INT for TD vs. ‘Bama to cover that one. Bengals have won 3 of last 4 outright. Tigers have also only covered 2 of last 10 against Top 25 teams...Tigers 23 Florida 19

Michigan State over #6 MICHIGAN taking 16: Much to the chagrin of local fishermen, the Coast Guard is establishing live-fire zones on the Great Lakes. Maybe the Spartans can have the Coasties launch a few missiles and small-arms fire far enough inland to soften the Wolverines defense. State took last week to fall flat after heartbreaker vs. the Irish. The season for them comes down to this one though and an outright win by Sparty wouldn’t be a shocker...Michigan 24 MSU 23

#14 Oklahoma over #7 Texas taking 5: Bob Stoops will throw the whole defensive playbook at Longhorns’ freshman QB Colt McCoy...Sooners 20 Texas 17

#10 GEORGIA over #13 Tennessee taking 2 ½: We might’ve backed a shaky Vols team as a road dog going up against Bulldog squad that excels at home inside the conference, but not as chalk...Joja’ 19 UT 16

#11 Oregon over #16 CAL taking 5 ½: Two fine offenses go toe-to-toe here and the Weber Kid changed his mind several times on this pick. Decoys have actually been a few games better against the number away from the Pond than they have been at home. Mallards get the nod in a wild one...Cal 34 Ducks 31

#12 NOTRE DAME over Stanford giving 32: Stanford has been a horrible team to-date and brings to mind last season’s loss to Cal-Davis. The obnoxious Cardinal band was suspended from travel for trashing a hotel room. Did the band geeks have illusions of being members of the Who and start smashing their woodwinds and snare drums following a rousing version of Baba O’Reilly?...Catholics 48 Stanford 10

#15 Clemson over WAKE FOREST giving 16: As a sign of respect, Vin tips his helmet to Jim Grobe’s Demon Deacons for the job they’ve done since losing the starting quarterback. Wake won this straight up 31-27 in ‘05, but that was over Tiger team coming off consecutive defeats, in which they played a total of four OT periods...Clemson 35 Deacons 14

#18 GEORGIA TECH over Maryland giving 13 ½: There’s still the "Bell factor" but ‘Jackets’ defense alone could account for the covering scores. Terps’ three wins this year aren’t over anyone of substance...Bees 30 Box Turtles 7

Purdue over #19 IOWA taking 11: Expect the Boilers’ receivers to keep Hawkeye defensive backfield busy all day. Iowa rebounds from Ohio State defeat, but Purdue beats the line...Iowa 28 Purdue 27

#20 BOISE STATE over Louisiana Tech giving 35: Fourth road trip already this year for Tech and third against a ranked foe. Bulldogs will be as effective as North Korean Taepaedong II missile. Lack of returning defensive starters for LT has been painfully evident...BSU 54 Weeziana Tech 10

#21 Virginia Tech : IDLE (next @ Boston College 10/12)

#22 Nebraska over IOWA STATE giving 7: Cyclones still playing below expectations with 6-point win over UNLV and 1-point squeaker over Northern Iowa. The Church of Scientology supports the concept that "quiet birth", the absence of talk and other noise, is more healthful for the birth..Vindy follows suit and won’t say a word about last week’s Huskers "lock" pick...Big Red 28 ISU 14

#23 Missouri over TEXAS TECH taking 4: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Red Raiders second-half defense (or lack thereof) nearly cost ‘em game at A&M. Tigers show if they’re real (with a nice road victory) or just Memorex ... Mizzou 33 Texas Tech 27

#24 Rutgers: IDLE (next @ Navy)

#25 Boston College: IDLE (next vs. Virginia Tech 10/12)

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

This past Spring, a Cornell University horticulturist suggested giving plants some hard liquor keeps them from tipping over. In early February, the Stanford Tree mascot was busted consuming alcohol under her costume. Vin thinks she was simply ahead of her time! (Hmmm...quick thinking band members might’ve been able to propose a scapegoat for that whole ‘trashed hotel room’ thing!)

Pro footballers Braylon Edwards, Steven Jackson and Sinorice Moss are vying for the same role on "General Hospital". Personally, Vindy’s always been a "Days of Our Lives" fan (or was it "All My Children"?), lusting after Kelly Ripa in her pre-"Regis & Kelly" days.

A July issue of Sports Illustrated reported Jose Canseco wanted to be deputized as a member of Senator George Mitchell’s steroid scandal investigators and labeled him the" Sherlock Holmes of Human Growth Hormone, the Columbo of the Clear". Vin continues the analogy and anoints the former Bash Brother as Da’ Quincy of Cream, Da’ Barretta of da’ BALCO, Da’ Joe Friday of da’ Flaxseed, Da’ Kojak of Da’ Juice, Da’ Starsky of the Steroids and Da’ Tubbs of da’ Testosterone!

A barrage of legal difficulties befell members of the Cincinnati Bengals this summer, including the arrest and Tasering of tackle Matthias Askew. Officers on-site called Askew "an electric player". Cincinnati coaches, upon hearing the news of yet another brush with the law, expressed "shock-and- awwwwwww, not again!". Opposing teams planned to re-implement the "zap-back block". Teammates say his favorite band is now AC/DC! (OK, we’ll stop now.)

"Locked in a Box?": The Weber Kid is 3-2 after going to the well with Nebraska one too many times!

Shoppe Talk: The Shoppe is vacant this week with Texas playing a I-AA opponent last week and the Irish failing to cover against Purdue as predicted. (Don’t wander too far away fellas!)

Vindy’s Week 6 Best Bets: Last Week: 4-1 Season: 12-10 (.545)
Vandy -1 ½ over OL’ MISS, Florida International -3 over NORTH TEXAS, Washington State -3 over OREGON STATE, Oklahoma State -3 ½ over KANSAS STATE, Navy +3 over USAF

Vindy's Picks Week 5-2006

GOODMAN TAGGING PUNISHMENT PLAN BACKFIRES

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (MSNBC)...No longer threatening to lop off thumbs, Sin City mayor Oscar Goodman went from mob to medieval this summer, implementing a face-painting penalty for people caught "tagging" in Las Vegas. Under the new plan, taggers are placed in public stockades and passers-by are permitted to "dab paint" on the offenders’ faces. But four weeks into the NCAA season and three into the NFL campaign, that strategy is being reconsidered as football fanatics from around the entire country have been flocking to Las Vegas and blatantly spray-painting the beloved desert tortoise statues that stand guard below the Vegas freeways in order to be caught and have people dab their faces with their respective favorite teams’ colors! Fans from as far away as New England have managed to get leaked information right from the mayor’s office about the colors scheduled for use each day as much as a week in advance and plan their trips accordingly. Violators have been seen actually standing in line behind other taggers, spray-cans in-hand, awaiting their turns. Mayor Goodman said he would now have to take counter-measures by determining randomly each morning which colors would be used or by providing the public with colors for arch-rival teams after making the offenders declare a favorite club!

Week Four’s 10-10-1 (29-41-3, .414) leaves Vindicator feeling that guy in the beer commercial being trained by the ancient master to never spill a Bud Light...you know... "AGAIN!"...

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 5 FORECAST
(Vindy’s Picks are typed up in front of a live studio audience)

THURS. SEPT. 28
SOUTH CAROLINA over #2 Auburn taking 14: Tigers definitely showed wear-and-tear of LSU game, not getting untracked until second half against improving-but-still-outclassed Buffalo squad. Spurrier may not have the talent base (yet) to win outright, but we’ll expect the ‘Cocks to go all out and make it interesting ...Auburn 17 SC 7

#17 TCU over Brigham Young giving 5: Toads will field same pass D here that they used to stuff Texas Tech air attack. Coogs might be the one team with enough firepower to unseat TCU in the Mountain Jest conference (though pesky Pilots team awaits the Frogs in December). BYU playing second game in five days. Frogs last played a week ago Thursday...TCU 28 BYU 17

FRI. SEPT. 29
#23 Rutgers over SOUTH FLORIDA giving 3: Scarlet Kaaaaannnigggetttts get a "#" for the first time in 30 years! Bulls win about two outta’ every three at home, but don’t cover the number that well. USF has already beaten ‘05 MAC title-game participant Central Florida and didn’t play badly in close loss to Kansas. Knights looking to get payback for last year’s two TD loss that came as a result of very sloppy play...State Uni of New Joisey 24 USF 17

SAT. SEPT. 30
#13 IOWA over #1 Ohio State taking 7: The OSU-PSU game was a lot closer than final score would indicate as Buckeyes returned two desperation passes for TD in the final two minutes to cover the number. Vindy hopes there’s a big, fat check in the da’ mail for Penn State’s Anthony Morelli. Vindy picks this one under protest and at no extra charge, we’ll try the upset...Iowa 23 OSU 20

#3 Southern Cal over WASHINGTON STATE giving 17: Troy waltzed all over Wazzou last year in a 42-point victory. Allowing for a few adjustments, returning/leaving players and homefield for the Cougars, we see the margin in the 30's this time...USC 44 Dubya State 13

#4 West Virginia: IDLE (Next @ Mississippi State)

Alabama over #5 FLORIDA taking 14: Gators were #5 this time last year too when Tide trashed ‘em 31-3. ‘Bama couldn’t take advantage of Arkansas’ freshman quarterback and a +2 turnover advantage. Both of Florida’s SEC wins have been uninspired...UF 17 Alabammy 13

#6 Michigan over MINNESOTA giving 7 ½: While not as good as road blowout over Notre Dame would suggest, Wolverines should certainly be able to keep about a 10-point buffer between themselves and the Gerbils. If Minny isn’t careful coming out, this could get away early...Big Blue 27 Gophers 17

Sam Houston State @ #7 TEXAS: No line. (And we ain’t crushed about that.)

#8 Louisville: IDLE (Next @ Middle Tennessee State)

#9 LSU over Mississippi State giving 30: Don’t know how the hapless Bulldogs pulled the OT upset at UAB. They’ll be fortunate to dent the scoreboard this week. Only caveat is pending visit by the Gators next week...LSU 44 MSU 3

#10 Georgia over MISSISSIPPI giving 16: We thought about giving this one "lock" status. Following scare from disappointing Buffaloes, Richt will have the ‘Dawgs focused here. Joja’s thrown two white-washes already. Might be a third here...Georgia 24 Ol’ Missed 0

#24 Georgia Tech over #11 VIRGINIA TECH taking 8 1/2: Bees have had since last Thursday night’s win over Virginia to plan for this. GT nearly toppled Notre Dame, but Irish look more and more over-rated. Hokies squeaked by the line against Duke and did not cover last week against Cincy. Looks like a great chance for Reggie Bell to choke in another big game. Tech wants to avenge 51-7 clobbering it got last season...VT 17 GT 16

Purdue over #12 NOTRE DAME taking 17: Frightenin’ Irish continue look entirely beatable each week. Boilers and Gophers were virtually even in every category except turnovers. Ball State loss to I-AA North Dakota State makes Purdue’s 10-point victory over the Cardinals that much less impressive. We find out here what the Boilermakers really have...ND 31 Purdue 24

#14 Oregon over ARIZONA STATE giving 1 ½: ASU coaches got bad news earlier this week when they were informed the officiating crew would forego the traditional black and white uniforms in favor of green and yellow ones! Expecting masses of passes....Decoys 34 Devils 31

#15 Tennessee over MEMPHIS giving 15: Tigers haven’t defeated a I-A team yet thus far. Vols break a six-game ATS-loss streak in their first road tilt of the season...Tennessee 34 Memphis 17

#16 Oklahoma: IDLE (next vs. Texas)

#18 CLEMSON over Louisiana Tech giving 31: Just can’t find any reason to back the Bulldogs here. Tigers get in a little target practice before facing Demon Deacons in Winston-Salem next week...Clemson 49 LT 10

#19 Florida State: IDLE (Next @ NC State 10/5)

#20 California over OREGON STATE giving 10: Another game considered for lock. Line appears somewhat smaller than Vindicator expected. Even with potential letdown by ‘Da Bears from the ASU game, Beavers have done nothing to garner this type of support...Cal 28 Oregon State 7

#21 NEBRASKA over Kansas giving 15 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. After floundering a couple seasons under Bill Callahan, Big Red seems to have it all figured out. At least they’re blasting teams they should be blasting. Fightin’ Manginos are just slidin’ by week to week...Nebraska 31 Kansas 3

#22 Boise State over UTAH taking 4: Vindicator was on Hawaii in Boise-Land last week for sure, but Potato-Heads might’ve been in bend-but-don’t-break mode, taking 13-point edge into the final period. Boise’s race to the BCS gets derailed, just not this time...Broncos 27 Utes 13

Colorado over #25 MISSOURI taking 19: Buffaloes finally showing some life, though haven’t learned how to close out a game. Nonetheless, we like Colorado’s 0-4 record better than Mizzou’s 4-0. Tigers might just overlook Bison toward next week’s game at Texas Tech...Mizzou 20 Colorado 10

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

Just a follow-up to Week Four’s presidential dinner story. Coach Saban reportedly forgot his wedding anniversary this past summer. Hmmmm...just wondering if Mrs. Saban had a chat with the Vice President about issuing a little payback!

With his Lions backed up in their own territory early in the second quarter vs. the Buckeyes, JoPa suddenly sprinted from the far sideline, behind the PSU formation, across the end zone and down the tunnel into the locker room. Broadcasters eventually reported Joe was suffering from "flu-like symptoms". Vin just wants to know which assistant coordinator was responsible for apprizing Paterno about the whole "spinach" thing! NFL scouts clocked the ancient coach at a sub-4.4 forty and may invite Joe to next year’s Combine! Vindy wondered if JoPa just thought the half was over or if he would actually turn up-field toward the line of scrimmage as a man in motion, a la Arena League rules! Officials nearly flagged the Nitwit Lions for 12-men on the field!

Astronauts recently completed construction of a 17 ½ ton addition to the International Space Station. NASA says that brings the seating capacity to over 110,000 fans and it plans to add luxury suites by the 2008 season!

On ABC Family...an alien with no bellybutton uses his tummy as a chalkboard and draws up plays for the local high school football team in..."Kyle X’s and O’s"

Terrell Owens racked up over 100 yards this past weekend...then coaches chased him off the stationary bike! By the way, does T.O. now stand for "Tried Overdose"???!!

The city of San Francisco uses bluegills to provide early detection of toxins in its drinking water supply. Maybe Vin should get an aquarium and let his picks float.

The Transportation Security Administration is relaxing restrictions for carry-ons aboard aircraft. Can’t wait to see team staffers load up all those 3-ounce Gatorade buckets!

Coming soon to the big screen...Sean Connery stars as a bookie with lines for all of next month’s games aboard a Russian submarine being pursued by the Vindicator in..."Hunt for Spread October"!

"Wish I Had That One Back": Vindy shoulda’ thought twice on the Auburn pick after noting he’d "feel better...if Auburn had lost to LSU".

"Locked in a Box?": Big Red’s 59-0 romp over Troy bumps Vin’s lock tally to 3-1.

Shoppe Talk: Vindicator adds a little Steer meat to his Irish stew as Notre Dame and Texas earn the inside track to Vindy’s post-season "Grill-Master Supreme Award" after burning our fearless forecaster four straight weeks!

Vindy’s Week 5 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 8-9 (.470)
PENN STATE -16 ½ over Northwestern, Nevada-Reno -3 over UNLV, Navy +3 over UCONN, Idaho -2 ½ over UTAH STATE, Eastern Michigan +3 ½ over UL-LAFAYETTE

Vindy's Picks Week 4-2006

COACH DOES PREZ DINNER AFTER ALL; NEARLY SHOT

CRAWFORD, Texas (UPI)...Originally rebuking an invitation from President Bush in July to join him for dinner, stating team responsibilities as a priority, Dolphins’ head coach Nick Saban eventually relented under pressure and agreed to break bread recently on Dubya’s Texas ranch. But hob-knobbing with the Commander-in-Chief over some barbeque came with a price as Saban barely dodged a load of birdshot that narrowly missed his face. Fearing an assassination attempt, Secret Service agents immediately dove to protect the coach...er..um...the President, that is ...while ranch security quickly swarmed a nearby tree-line, only to discover Vice President Dick Cheney. Cheney apologized, noting he was aiming at some quail and didn’t notice his boss and the coach, (who was wearing a bright Miami orange shirt) due to shrubbery surrounding the Presidential picnic area, partially obscuring the dining duo. Wire services were initially unaware of the event for three days because the local newspaper elected to sit on the story temporarily. To-date, the Veep still hasn’t taken responsibility for the incident. Said one Secret Service agent, "This is what happens when ‘the Ferrari of hunting rifles’ is wielded by the Edsel of hunters."

Speaking of Edsels, Weber turned in a coyote ugly 5-9-1 (19-31-2, .380) for Week Three. Of Vin’s five wins, two were by way of a half-point, a third by a single point. And now, a word from our sponsor..."Vindy’s Picks...it’s a forecast...it’s a vacuum cleaner...it’s BOTH!"

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 4 FORECAST
(Special NRA Collectors’ Edition)

#24 Penn State over #1 OHIO STATE taking 16 1/2: Even during the down years in Happy Valley, four of the last five between these two have been decided by a touchdown or less. The one game not falling into that category still finished with only an eleven-point difference. Lions brought on their own misery at Notre Dame...Buckeyes 23 Penn State 17

#2 AUBURN over Buffalo giving 43: Bills making a little progress and we’d feel better about this choice if Auburn had lost to LSU. Short week for Aubie as they go to South Carolina next Thursday. They’ll have to break into the 50's to prevent the backdoor cover...Tigers 52 Buffalo 6

#3 Southern Cal over ARIZONA giving 21: Not the worst case of "looking ahead" we’ve ever seen, but Wildcats’ 18-point win over Stephen Freakin’ Austin last week is deceiving. AZ was down 10-7 early and only ahead by 4 going into the final quarter...USC 45 ‘Cats 17

#4 West Virginia over EAST CAROLINA giving 21: First away game of the year for the Mounties, who should be fresh, having last played last Thursday. Pirates posted their only cover in five tries vs. WVU last year in a 20-15 loss at Morgantown. ECU has yielded 20 fewer points to-date than they did thru first three games (including aforementioned trip to West Virginia) of ‘05. Iffy call...’Eers 34 Harrrrr, me Maties 10

Kentucky over #5 FLORIDA taking 23: Gator-backers got hosed last season when Florida D allowed a furious late comeback by the Wildcats who pulled within three touchdowns as a 24-point dog. Gator starters should see some early rest with ‘Bama on the horizon...UF 34 UK 13

Wisconsin over #6 MICHIGAN taking 14: Wisky has covered the number three straight times against Big Blue, including last season’s outright 23-20 victory at home. They’ll need to lean on the defense here. Frankly, the outright upset wouldn’t faze this forecaster...Michigan 17 Badgers 10

#7 TEXAS over Iowa State giving 24: Some might still see this as a preview of Big 12 Conference crown game. Cyclones are a one-man team and were probably fortunate to survive visit from upset-minded UNLV. ‘Horns were flagged 19 times for nearly one-and-a-half football fields worth of yardage and still hung half-a-century on Rice... Texas 38 ISU 7

#8 Louisville over KANSAS STATE giving 14 1/2: Yes, the Cards lost the starting quarterback AND the starting running back. Reserve QB Cantwell racked up 113 yards on 4 pass attempts (one of which was incomplete) in a little over a quarter last week. Wildcats on the way up after barely escaping I-AA Illinois State in the opener... Louisville 27 KSU 7

Colorado over #9 GEORGIA taking 27: What was that depressing movie in the late 60's starring Jane Fonda? Oh, yeah..."They Shoot Buffaloes, Don’t They?" So much for Dan Hawkins re-energizing the CU offense. The best college or pro pigskin team in the Rocky Mountain State right now might be...Air Force!...Joja’ 24 Buffs 7

#10 LSU over Tulane giving 36: Homecoming for the Bayou Bengals. Tigers couldn’t hold on last week against Auburn and came away empty on five occasions on the Auburn side of the field. We look for State to skunk the visitors and to probably score on its first five possessions this week. Third straight road trip for the Green Wave ...LSU 41 Tulane 0

#11 VIRGINIA TECH over Cincinnati giving 26 1/2: Conference game vs. the Bees is coming up for Tech. Seemingly, there are no ill-effects from the departure of Michael Vick’s little brother. Bearkats get whacked again. The Weber Kid considered this one for lock... Hokies 38 Cincy 7

#12 Notre Dame over MICHIGAN STATE giving 4 ½: NTSB officials are still examining the black box found in the Irish locker room following last week’s tilt against Michigan. Spartans have had Notre Dame’s number over the past decade. State won’t be repeating 2005 Iwo Jima flag-planting after this one though...Catholics 29 MSU 24

#13 Oregon: IDLE (next @ Arizona State)

#14 Iowa over ILLINOIS giving 21: With big in-state rivalry outta’ the way, Hawkeyes can get back to business and warm up for Ohio State. Illini are just going nowhere...Iowa 41 Illinois 10

Marshall over #15 TENNESSEE taking 22: Vols playing to the level of their competition. Herd is 6-2 ATS in last 8 against ranked teams. ‘Dogs haven’t had a big week...yet...Tennessee 28 Marshall 10

#16 TCU: IDLE (next vs. BYU 9/28)

#17 OKLAHOMA over Middle Tennessee State giving 29: Sooners lost to the zebras, not the Decoys. Conference battle vs. North Texas might be of more importance to Blue Raiders than this one. Okies should be getting their act together by now...OK 44 MTSU 10

#18 FLORIDA STATE over Rice giving 29 1/2: Owls catch the Injuns off a bad loss just like they caught Texas. State’s offense is still struggling. Might be a nice game to see it break out. At least the special teams are coming around and we foresee those squads providing the covering scores...’Noles 31 Rice 0

North Carolina over #19 CLEMSON taking 16 1/2: Will the Tigers be drained after beating Florida State? Tarheels will be drained following wild 45-42 victory over...GASP!...I-AA Furman! The strength-and-conditioning coach at UNC made Tarheels players run up and down stadium steps carrying bags of cement. Similarly, Vindy increased his stamina in the preseason by doing likewise with full cases of beer at local Rebels’ venue Sam Boyd Stadium!...Clemson 24 North Carolina 17

#22 CAL over #20 (tie) Arizona State giving 7 1/2 : Devils’ D making strides but Bears are still second-best club in the PAC-10...Berkeley 28 ASU 17

NC STATE over #20 (tie) Boston College taking 7: UPSET SPECIAL. Eagles clearly have the better team, though they continue to win with difficulty. Looking for the Wolf Pack to be up for ACC conference opener at home. In OT...NC State 23 BC 20

#23 NEBRASKA over Troy giving 22: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Trojans covered against a flat team of Seminoles recovering from Miami and travel for the third consecutive game...Big Red 35 Troy 6

Hawaii over #25 BOISE STATE taking 14 ½: Vindicator briefly thought about an upset here too, but Mainland record for Hawaii doesn’t inspire quite that much confidence and Broncos are virtually invincible on the blue field. BSU teetered on the brink at Wyoming...Boise 33 ‘Bows 30

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

Upon learning the Miami coach turned down his supper invitation this summer, the President said "Fine. See if the Hurricanes get my vote for the preseason Top 25!" Asked by local game wardens to produce his Duck Stamp, Cheney asked if season tickets to Oregon games would suffice! Comments from the Democratic camp included a claim that Al Gore actually invented the Duck Stamp!

The CU Bison players need to give back the I-Pods they got for playing in last year’s Champs Sports Bowl and play some ball for cryin’ out loud!!!!

Nine of the Big Ten (Eleven) Conference teams beat their out-of-conference foes last week. The two offenders? ...Illinois, who lost to Big Least lower-tier squad Syracuse, and Indiana, who lost to I-AA Southern Illinois!

USC is unhappy with ABC broadcaster Brent Musberger for revealing the meaning of QB John Booty’s "hang-loose" hand-gesture during the Nebraska game last Saturday. Don’t be surprised if Booty’s next hand-gesture in Brent’s presence involves a thumb on his nose and four waving fingers!

Maurice Clarett was arrested in August after a traffic violation for having loaded weapons, including an AK-47, on the front seat of his car. The former running back will now do 3 ½ years at the Grey Bar Hotel, but officials at the local post office said they would keep Clarett’s job application on file.

In July, Miami Hurricanes’ safety Willie Cooper took a bullet in the behind from an unknown assailant. One of his teammates pulled a pistol from his own pants and fired back. No big deal. Cooper was just a backside..er..um..back-up.. safety anyway. And by the way, where was Dick Cheney when all this went down?!

Marcus Vick was arrested in January for waving a gun in a McDonald’s. Guess that qualifies him for All Con-Ference honors? So...like...there was no toy in his Happy Meal or what? Recently, after being originally cut by Miami, Vick was later signed to the Dolphins practice squad. Clarett gladly accepted when he thought they said "target-practice squad."

Bizarre random thought of the week: when players go to the grocery store for dairy snacks, do they have look for 1st-, 2nd- and 3rd-string cheese?

On the auction block...autographed baseballs on which Pete Rose wrote "I’m sorry I bet on baseball." Coming soon to E-Bay: autographed footballs on which the Weber Kid wrote "I’m sorry you bet on football using Vindy’s Picks!"

"Wish I Had That One Back": The Week 3 forecast noted Texas-Rice as a "definite ‘wish’ pick"

"Locked in a Box?": Vin grabs his second lock win against one loss courtesy of the Hokies squeaking past the line by pitching the shutout over Duke!

Shoppe Talk: The Irish, Red Raiders and Steers officially open this year’s Ye Olde Taxidermy Shoppe, all at 0-3. (C’mon in, fellas! Help yourselves to some nice packaged spinach while Vindicator sharpens his ax!)

Vindy’s Week 4 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 6-7 (.461)
Arkansas State +6 ½ over SMU, UAB -10 over Mississippi State, SYRACUSE -6 1/2 over Miami-Ohio, ‘Bama +2 over ARKANSAS

Vindy's Picks Week 3-2006

FORECASTER TO FOOTBALL FANS: "DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY!"
‘Hawks Off ‘Madden’ Hook

SEATTLE, Washington (ITAR-Tass)...Speaking through a megaphone from atop the Space Needle, the Vegas Vindicator spoke to (and annoyed) tourists, sports afficionados and anyone else within a five-mile radius, trying to allay fears of Seahawks fans regarding the mysterious "Madden curse". The Weber Kid noted it was actually he, not Seattle running back Shaun Alexander, in the photo on the cover of the Madden 2007 video game, released this summer. Vindy said he strapped on pads and helmet (and a little make-up) and struck the pose featured on the game cover. The Sin City soothsayer further explained he, himself, was the victim of the curse, pointing out his 5-14 record in Week One as evidence. Weber implored fans to not panic over the Seahawks’ 9-6 lackluster victory over the Detroit Lions and reassured them their beloved team would still be going to playoffs. Officials at EA Sports confirmed Vindy’s claim, explaining the actual player was too busy practicing to attend the photo shoot. As Vindy teetered precariously on the edge of the outdoor observation deck, an unidentified person on the ground yelled, "Jump, you !@!&$#@!! I lost a bundle on your Week Two ‘best bets’!!

Before being "helped" over the rail by security, Vindicator quickly notes his Week Two count of 9-8-1 (14-22-1, .389 on the season), whips out a Sharpie on his way down and scribbles...

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 3 FORECAST
(Vindy’s Picks are recorded before a live studio audience...and the bar appreciates the patronage!)

THURS. SEPT. 14
#5 WEST VIRGINIA over Maryland giving 15 1/2 : Box Turtles opened at 2-0, but didn’t win impressively over either lower-tier foe. Is it just Vindy or do you guys think Mark Mangino, Rick Majerus and Terps’ coach Ralph Friedgen have a future in sumo-wrestling?!...’Eers 38 Maryland 13

SAT. SEPT. 16
Cincinnati over #1 OHIO STATE taking 30 ½: Buckeyes are in a sandwich spot between critical triumph over Texas and visit by those Nitwit Lions next. Bearkats stayed close to State, losing only 23-19, during Buckeyes’ 2002 undefeated regular season...Ohio State 31 Cincy 9

#2 NOTRE DAME over #11 Michigan giving 7: Irish took advantage of several Nitwit Lions miscues early in the first half (Vindy didn’t bother viewing whatever second-half debauchery occurred!). Irish receiver Jeff Samardzija signed a five-year contract with the Cubbies as a hurler and wants to go pro in both football and baseball. Will we see a deluge of "Jeff knows..." commercials??? Does that make him a "pitcher" or a "catcher?!" Still voting against Big Blue...Leprechauns 24 Michigan 13

#6 Louisiana State over #3 AUBURN taking 3 ½: The last two seasons these clubs have battled in tight, tight games, including Bengals’ OT win last year. LSU is 2-5-2 ATS against ranked teams over the past two seasons. Aubie has covered 16 of last 20 regular season tilts... Bengals 17 Tigers 16

#19 Nebraska taking #4 USC taking 18 ½: Trojan Express seems to have lost little steam since 2005, thrashing Arkansas and stifling a good Wazzou offense, but there’s a little voice in Weber’s head (which raised its hand before speaking) suggesting "Take Big Red, take Big Red!"...Troy 29 Huskers 27

#7 Florida over #13 TENNESSEE giving 3 1/2: In an article this summer on anagrams, Sports Illustrated writer Steve Rushin noted Florida Gators could be rearranged to spell "‘Fro Gladiators". A couple bowl seasons ago, Vindy revealed an anagram of Urban Meyer to be "Yu R Beerman", and now discovers Chris Leak is also "Rich Lakes", "Slick Hare" and "I Crash Elk". Vols dodged a bullet when USAF blew a very late 2-point conversion...Florida 28 Vols 20

RICE over #8 Texas taking 30: Owls 0-2 outright but 2-0 ATS. Texas suffered the bad home loss to the Buckeyes. Have to consider the Lone Star rivalry. Rice is responding (still losing, but competitively) to new coach Todd Graham. Definite "wish" pick, but...Steers 35 Rice 9.

Clemson over #9 FLORIDA STATE taking 4 1/2: Injuns got 45 yards on 28 carries vs. Troy. Those kinda’ numbers won’t get it done here. Lack of a ground game finally catches up to State...Clemson 24 Chop 20

Alabama-Birmingham over #10 GEORGIA taking 17 1/2: Dawgs’ starting quarterback Joe Tereshinski (da’ Third) is out for this one. His replacement, freshman Stafford played adequately for 3+ quarters in his absence last week on the road, but still showed himself to be a freshman. ‘Dawgs don’t cover the number well outside the SEC...Joja’ 24 Blazers 13

#17 Miami over #12 LOUISVILLE taking 3: Vindy expected Cards’ QB Brohm to go down before starting RB Bush, but we’ll take it. ‘Canes need to produce some decent points on a I-A team. They will...Miami 27 Redbirds 24

#14 VIRGINIA TECH over Duke giving 35: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Playing at theatres in Blacksburg this week (both of ‘em! [And one of ‘em is still a drive-in!])..."The Blue Devils Wear Prada!"...Hokies 45 Duke 3

#18 OREGON over #15 Oklahoma giving 4: How many folks in the preseason, outside Eugene, woulda’ called the Decoys five-point chalk in this one?! Rematch of last season’s Holiday Bowl thriller. No faith in this choice... Drakes 27 Sooners 21

Iowa State @ #16 IOWA: OFF. (Hawkeyes have won 30 of last 33 at home [25-5-1 ATS per recent issue of Gaming Today] last 5+ years. Two of the three "L"s came to Michigan, the other to...Iowa State!)

#24 Texas Tech over #20 TCU giving 2: Raiders look vulnerable on defense, as they have in the past. Can’t gauge Horny Toads just yet based on wins over Baylor and UC-Davis. Da’ coin likes...Texas Tech 28 TCU 24

Portland State @ #21 CAL: No line. (Remember, sports fans, Portland State beat...New Mexico!!!!?)

COLORADO over #22 Arizona State taking 10: Just after the New Year, former Colorado Buffs RB Eric Bienemy joined the Minny Vikes as an assistant coach. Anybody else out there see the irony in that???? Devils covered last week, but the " D" is still an albatross. What’s goin’ in on in Boulder???!!!...Pitchforks 34 Gilded Bison 27

Brigham Young over #23 BOSTON COLLEGE taking 7: Coogs only managed a FG in last year’s tussle in Provo. 2-0 BC is only 8 points from being 0-2 and struggled against Central Michigan. Might be some emotional fall-off for Eagles following OT victory over Clemson. BYU is 2-5 ATS in last 7 vs. ranked teams, but 7-4 ATS overall on the road last two seasons...Boston College 20 BYU 19

Youngstown State @ #25 PENN STATE: No line. (Just win, baby!)

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

By the way, a flag bearing the number "12" flew atop the Space Needle last January, saluting the "12th Man" home crowd that helped the Seahawks go 10-0 last season at Qwest Field. A similar "12" flag flew atop the Space Needle-like Stratosphere Casino in Vegas...mocking the number of correct picks in Vindy’s 28-game bowl forecast!

Roger Goodell succeeded Paul Tagliabue as NFL commish. If it had been Jane Goodall instead, would we have seen a book and a movie entitled ...."Linemen In the Mist"?

Bengals fans can report unruly behavior in the stands to security by calling 513-381-JERK. If Vice President Cheney gets outta’ hand, they can also dial 800-555-DICK!

Diminutive former Boston College/CFL/NFL QB Doug Flutie has been working as an analyst for ABC/ESPN...and ya can’t see the booster chair he sits on to the reach the mike, can ya???!

Out on DVD...two Denver rushers spend the off-season on a farm in the Rockies running plays outta’ the brown-eye formation in..."Broncoback Mountain"! (Funny, the lines-makers were running those same plays with Vindy in Week One!)

On the small screen as part of the Fall line-up.......Jennifer Love-Hewitt brings justice to spirits of wronged uprights in..."Goalpost Whisperer"

A recent poll for favorite male golfer, to no one’s surprise, named Tiger Woods as the top choice. Vindy’s pick, however, is Carl Spackler (played by Bill Murray in "Caddyshack"). "Last year, just a groundskeeper...about to become...this year’s...Masters’ champion!...It’s IN the hole...it’s in the hole."

"Locked in a Box?": The Orange cover against Iowa in OT brings the lock record to 1-1 (.500).

"Wish I Had That One Back": Vindy called it last week.....Florida State-Troy as a "wish" pick!

Shoppe Talk: Several teams have logged back-to-back forecast losses. We’ll sort ‘em out next week (but Louisville and Florida both got in the prognostication win column!)

Vindy’s Week 3 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-4 Season: 4-5 (.444) (In a bizarre twist of fate, Vindy gave the book the number supporting RUTGERS -10 ½ rather than Illinois +10 ½ and gets to cash that ticket! The betting deities will, however, have their revenge later in the season!). Ball State +16 over PURDUE, NORTHWESTERN -16 over Eastern Michigan, Western Michigan +10 ½ over VIRGINIA, UCONN -6 over Wake Forest

Until next week...Vindicator’s just here for the Bud Light! (Now if you’ll excuse him, Vindy’s gotta’ pray to the magic fridge!)

Vindy's Picks Week 2-2006

WIDEOUT VOWS TO GIVE FEDS HOFFA...SOON

DETROIT, Michigan (CNN)...Federal authorities apparently weren’t too a far off the mark when they originally dug up a farm in nearby Milford Township earlier this year in search of the remains of notorious Teamster boss, Jimmy Hoffa. Lions’ wide receiver Roy Williams cut a deal recently to provide the location of Hoffa’s body to the FBI, as long as the Feds allow the often-brash pass-catcher to score his inaugural home touchdown of the year. While it’s unknown how Williams acquired knowledge of the location or the body, parameters of the deal suggest Williams may have Hoffa stashed in the padding below one of the Detroit Lions’ stadium goalposts or that the body itself is encased in the concrete base of one of the uprights.

And speaking of bodies, local law enforcement officials in Las Vegas appropriately drew an outline around Vindicator’s Week 1 forecast in chalk as the favorites went an astounding 15-4 ATS, walloping the Weber Kid’s picks (5-14, .263). Vindy hops outta’ the shower after scrubbing the monster truck tread marks off his face and proposes...

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 2 FORECAST

(Vindy’s Picks shouldn’t be used if you’re nursing, pregnant or could become pregnant!)

#2 TEXAS over #1 Ohio State giving 2 1/2: Match-up of Longhorns’ defense vs. Buckeyes’ Ted Ginn and Troy Smith! We like the Steers with the home-field ad. No revenge for OSU...Longhorns 27 Buckeyes 17

#3 USC: IDLE (next vs. Nebraska)

#19 Penn State over #4 (tie) NOTRE DAME taking 8: Unimpressive outing by Irish against the Bees has to give Lions-faithful hope. Surely, State’s Anthony Morelli is a better QB than Tech’s Reggie Bell! Joja’ Tech stymied Irish offense with only five returning starters on D. Lions’ defensive backfield is still a question mark, but we think they’ll come through...ND 23 PSU 20

#4 (tie) Auburn over MISSISSIPPI STATE giving 20: Bulldogs played some decent defense vs. South Carolina, but had nothing on "O". Tigers’ stop-squad forces State into second straight goose egg. Another long season comin’ up in Starkville...Auburn 31 MSU 0

Eastern Washington @ #6 WEST VIRGINIA: No line.

#7 FLORIDA over Central Florida giving 23: On June 26, an AP story ran the following headline: "Kidman, Urban Tie Knot in Australia". Hey...way to go Coach Meyer, snagging actress Nicole...oh, wait...! Hate to lay this many against O’ Leary’s Golden Knights but...Gators 41 UCF 13

#8 LSU over Arizona giving 14 ½: Vindy just knows this one’s comin’ back to bite him. Of Wildcats’ five losses by a TD or less last year, none of those were to teams known for defense (well, maybe Utah, but that’s it). Bengals were 1-4 ATS (but all to SEC foes) at home in 2005 and have plenty of room for improvement in several areas...LSU 31 AZ 14

#9 FLORIDA STATE over Troy giving 31: Best guess for "wish I had it back" pick. The ground game is still absent for the Injuns and many of the pass completions vs. Miami were deep-out patterns...pretty, but tough to sustain. ‘Noles are off a short week. Troy starts an ugly four-game road trip...’Chop 41 Troy 7

Central Michigan over #10 MICHIGAN taking 27 ½: Bettors have taken this line up a notch, but perhaps Vindy was overly-optimistic of Big Blue’s desire for a convincing win. Wolverines still in disarray on offense. Chippies gave Boston College a run for its money...Michigan 29 CMU 13

Air Force over #11 TENNESSEE taking 20: Vols got their big victory over Cal courtesy of turnovers and dropped passes. Flyboys excel in away openers in the dog role. Back-to-back sub-.500 records for USAF means the Pilots will knock themselves out against an opponent ranked this high. Rocky Top might be a little flat and just might look ahead to Florida...Tennessee 24 Flight Platoon 9

#12 Georgia over SOUTH CAROLINA giving 3: The word " landmine" is written all over this! Three of the last four between these clubs have been decided by 6 or less, all in favor of Joja’. ‘Cocks struggled to put up points on Mississippi State. Talent edge still goes to UGA. We’ll try the Dawg Pound and hope for a push at worst...Georgia 17 SC 13

#13 Louisville over TEMPLE giving 38 ½: Loss of Louisville star RB Bush won’t be a problem here. Temple isn’t the NCAA version of Pluto, but it oughta’ be...Cards 61 Owls 16

#14 Iowa over SYRACUSE giving 19: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Orange hung around after Wake’s QB broke his leg. Arch-rival Iowa State on deck for the Hawkeyes, but can’t see a distraction there with huge Big Ten game vs. Ohio State still a few weeks away...Iowa 38 ‘Cuse 12

#15 OKLAHOMA over Washington giving 17: We’ll chalk up the single-score win over the Blazers last week to opening game jitters. Expect Adrian Peterson to respond with a monster game following this week’s criticisms. UDUB is still floundering, as evidenced by narrow win over San Jose State...Sooners 35 Washington 7

#16 Virginia Tech over NORTH CAROLINA giving 11 1/2: Frank Beamer’s VT special teams are already in fine form with a couple of kick-blocks under their belts last week!...Hokies 28 UNC 9

Florida A&M @ #17 MIAMI: No line.

#18 Clemson over BOSTON COLLEGE giving 2 ½: This game has gone "off", but we’ll go with last known line. Tigers looked to be in good shape behind 5th-year senior QB Will Proctor. We’re about to find out if Clemson is worthy of Weber’s ACC Title (and very darkhorse national title) pick...Clemson 28 BC 17

FRESNO STATE over #20 Oregon taking 5: This forecaster was willing to spot the Bulldoggies two (per the opening spread), but not a fiver. Mallards often fizzle away from home. Oregon won last year by 3 and in ‘02 by 4, both on the Pond. The preseason experts have already presented the WAC trophy to Boise. We like Fresno...Decoys 31 Fresno 28

Nicholls State @ #21 NEBRASKA: No line.

#22 CAL over Minnesota giving 8 ½: After the Bears’ major disappointment at Rocky Top last week (Vindy got so disgusted with Vols’ quick TD at the opening of the 3rd Quarter, he switched to baseball and vowed to watch no more pigskin until Labor Day!), we’ll give them another try. If Cal isn’t plagued by drops and turnovers, Minny D won’t be able to keep up...Berkeley 38 Gophers 17

UC-Davis @ #23 TEXAS CHRISTIAN: No line.

#24 Texas Tech over UTEP giving 7: Curious line. Somebody doesn’t have a lot of faith in Raiders’ non-5th-year-starting QB. Frankly, we expected a line closer to 17! OK, Tech has a mostly, brand-new secondary, but the defense is getting better. Can’t see Mike Price’s Miners (we luv ya, Mike!) trading enough sixes...Texas Tech 35 UTEP 21

Nevada-Reno over #25 ARIZONA STATE taking 14 1/2: ASU didn’t go out front of I-AA Northern Arizona until the 4th Quarter and the Sun Devils alumni didn’t need any more fuel on the fire after former trigger-man Sam Keller was named starter and demoted in the same week before he transferred to...(GASP!)...Nebraska! Pass defense is a problem on both sidelines...ASU 38 UNR 34

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

More on Hoffa...Weber thinks the whole thing might be a prank set up by Ashton Kutcher just to "punk" Geraldo, a la the Capone tomb thing! Can ya see Geraldo standing by with a camera crew waiting to see the contents as Williams slugs away at the concrete base of the goalpost with a sledge-hammer to reveal...nada, zip, zilch!!!??!!!

One more thought on ESPN’s programming for Baby First TV...would great defensive plays be featured on a segment called "Crib Gems"???!!!

On the big screen...the Catholic Church tries to cover up Mary Magdalene’s bets on Notre Dame in..."The Da’ Vindy Code" (Oh, please, all the religious zealots in the readership need to just take a seat...longtime readers of this forecast had to have known THAT was comin’!!!!)

Week 1 disasters: Let’s hear it for the little guys (translation: I-AA clubs that toppled teams from the "Championship Division!")- Montana State 19-10 over COLORADO, Portland State 17-6 over NEW MEXICO and Richmond 13-0 over DUKE (oh...and..uh...Vindy’s first Saturday prediction tally of 5-14)!

Week 1 Near-disasters: KANSAS ST. 24-23 over Illinois State

Week 1 Bad Omens: WASHINGTON 35-29 over San Josie State and despite a huge blowout win, UNLV gives up two blocked kicks to Idaho State (and pulls a redshirt freshman in street clothes from the stands to come into the game at kicker).

Vindicator kept seeing the phrase "Dominate your draft" on those fantasy football sites, so he stocked up on chips & dips and chains and whips, and other leather accessories....and simply got laughed at by his fellow fantasy team owners!

In May 2006, Paul Gleason passed away. Fans of "The Breakfast Club" remember him as the principal. Las Vegas sports bettors might remember him as the face of the local Coast Casinos "Pick-the-Pros" contest. The actor was once overheard saying "If I have to come back into the sportsbook, I’m bustin’ skulls!"

Last month, the Chargers held practice on deck of the aircraft carrier USS Ronald Reagan at Coronado Naval Base in San Diego. No word as to whether or not President Bush showed up in helmet and uniform to declare "Practice Accomplished". Looking at sailors, for the first time in football history, a coach said "The name on the back of the uniform is more important than the one on the front of the uniform".

In late January, BaseballSavvy.Com encouraged readers to send in songs swapping the word "glove" for the word "love". That was too good to pass up, so our fearless prognosticator submitted Radar Glove, I’m in Glove With My Car, Muskrat Glorv and All You Need is Glove!

The Tampa Bay D-Rays are contemplating a name change including removal of the word "Devil". What if Webster’s Dictionary did likewise...We might have...Ray-may-care, the Arizona State Sun Rays, the Duke Blue Rays, Hostess Ray Dogs, Ray-to-pay, NJ Rays, Ray’s Advocate, Ray’s Island, Ray’s Triangle and that infamous appetizer...Rayed Eggs!

"Locked in a Box?": The Mallards of Oregon posted a nice 25-point victory over Stanford to start Vindy’s lock record at 1-0.

Shoppe Talk: Those !!@&%#!!! Louisville Cardinals whacked Vindy for the 10th time in the last 12 opportunities!!! The Gators give Weber a forecast win, but has John Edwards standing by to channel in the late Steve Irwin if needed!

Vindy’s Week 2 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-1 Season: 3-1 (.750)
IOWA STATE -14 over unlv, Illinois +111/2 over RUTGERS, NEW MEXICO STATE +9 over New Mexico, COLORADO +2 1/2 over Colorado State, ALABAMA -16 over Vanderbilt

Vindy's Picks Week 1- 2006

BABY FIRST PICKS UP ESPN

LOS ANGELES, California...Hot on the heels of its successful ratings from broadcasting the 2006 Scripps National Spelling Bee (editorial note: it was won by 13-year-old Katharine Close...’Steroids! It hadda’ be da’ steroids!’), the adult version of the child’s game Paper, Scissors, Rock Championship from Las Vegas and the Soap Box Derby, ESPN has landed a contract with the Baby First TV network, which targets babies and toddlers. Obviously tapping into a newer, younger demographic and not to be outdone by Team Baby Enterprises, who sells videos with a sports theme featuring toddlers in college football unis and pitches math and spelling videos with a sports-related twist, "the world leader" plans to program sports scores and highlights to infants because "any self-respecting parents want their children’s first words to be ..’SportsCenter ...Next!’"

Our perplexed prognosticator, ready for another year, breaks the huddle with his preseason forecasting strategy team of former Coyotes assistant coach Rick Tocchet, Janet Jones (Mrs. Wayne Gretzsky), Bode Miller, Anna Benson, Padres’ massage therapist Kelly Calabrese, Jason Grimsley (without the wire the feds asked him to wear to gather information about Barry Bonds), the Northwestern women’s soccer team, the Duke men’s lacrosse team, ex-ESPN broadcaster Harold Reynolds, Floyd Landis and Ricky Bobby ... because there’s no "I" in "forecast"...and introduces...

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 1 FORECAST
(Warning: Vindy scored lower on the Wonderlic test at this year’s combine than Vince Young!)

THURS. AUG. 31
Northern Arizona @ #24 ARIZONA STATE: no line

SAT. SEPT. 2
Northern Illinois over #1 OHIO STATE taking 19: Huskies have senior-laden defensive backfield and should force State to beat them with someone other than WR Ted Ginn (if NIU special teams can keep him from running amuck too). NIU has covered last two vs. Big Ten. Bucks look ahead to Texas...OSU 27 ‘Dogs 13

#2 Notre Dame over GEORGIA TECH giving 7 1/2: Irish might be a bit over-hyped and some folks even like the Bees in an upset. Vindy just can’t get past erratic Wreck QB Reggie Bell, so until he proves himself to this forecaster...he’s a "go-against"...Catholics 27 Bzzzzzzzz 10

North Texas over #3 TEXAS taking 41: Good candidate for "wish I had it back", but with a new quarterback taking his first live-fire snap and a visit from Ohio State next, expect Longhorns to show nothing more than a plain vanilla offense. Mean Green has a truckload of seniors on offense. Steers D won’t give up much, but should allow NT to hang around enough...’Horns 45 Green 10

Washington State over #4 AUBURN taking 14 ½: Tigers are again expected to do very well, just like last year when they fizzled in the opener vs. Joja’ Tech. Coogs went thru a three-game emotional-loss streak, losing by a total of 10 points, then got pummeled by USC. But fresh into this season (in which they’ll take the field 12 straight weeks), they’ll be stoked! An outright Cougar victory wouldn’t surprise this forecaster, but...Auburn 26 Wazzou 19

Marshall over #5 WEST VIRGINIA taking 22: Maybe a little in-bred...er...um...in-state...rivalry going on here and we’ll call for a slow start from the ‘Eers very-potent, but still very-young backfield (and a couple new folks on the O-line). Turns out the person caught spying on the Mounties for the Herd was...Valerie Plame! The SpyGate victory goes to...West Virginny 24 Herd It Thru the Grapevine 10

ARKANSAS over #6 Southern Cal taking 8 1/2: UPSET SPECIAL OF DA’ WEEK. ‘Hogs have 19 starters returning from team that lost 4 games by less than 5 points each and have revenge motive for 70-17 whacking they took at USC last year. (Unfortunately, the projected Arkie starting backfield is out for this one!). New Soooey Pigs OC coached a high school squad that outscored its opponents approximately 6-1. Despite suspensions for the Razorbacks.....Soooeeeey Pig 19 Troy Boys 17

#7 FLORIDA over Southern Miss giving 19 ½: Eagles are fielding a new offensive backfield and a stop squad full of new (albeit upperclassmen) faces and take on a ranked foe for only the second time since November 2003. Crocs have a centennial anniversary of college football this season. Will arch-rival Gators haunt Vindy all year again like they did in ‘05? Could get ugly early...Florida 48 USM 13

#8 LSU over UL-Lafayette giving 30 1/2: Bengals’ front seven on D is pretty young and could be susceptible to improved Indians’ rushing game. They might also be kind to UL given Katrina bond between the two teams. Or they could just try to make up ground early in the rankings by whackin’ the Injuns. We think the latter... LSU 48 Ragin’ Cajuns 7

#9 California over #23 TENNESSEE taking 2: Huge game for two teams trying to establish themselves. One trying to meet expectations of PAC-10 title, the other just trying to rebound from unsatisfactory SEC season. Vols better find a way to score more since defensive front won’t be keeping them close in tight games for a bit...Bears 21UT 17

#10 OKLAHOMA over Alabama-Birmingham giving 21: Weber considered this for lock. Blazers head coach Watson Brown is brother to Texas head coach Mack Brown. All the more reason to play well against hated Sooners. Okies originally-planned starting QB has been permanently flagged but UAB won’t be able to run on the Sooners D nor stop Adrian Peterson...OK 34 Blazers 9

#14 MICHIGAN over Vanderbilt giving 25 ½: Odd to not see a MAC unit opposing Big Blue here. Commodores didn’t fare well ATS out-of-conference even when now-NFL-quarterback Jay Cutler was leading the way. Coach Carr has to feel that candle burning its way through his britches and needs a convincing triumph. Wolverines need a little confidence following five-loss campaign in 2005...UM 38 Vandy 6

Western Kentucky @ #15 GEORGIA: no line

Montana @ #16 IOWA: No line.

Northeastern @ #17 VIRGINIA TECH: no line

#18 CLEMSON over Florida Atlantic giving 33 1/2: Tigers are Vindy’s very dark horse pick to win it all. Owls open with five straight road games and Tommy doesn’t have to worry about facing Daddy’s club for another two weeks after this...Tigers 45 FAU 6

Akron over #19 PENN STATE taking 16 ½: JoPa hits the sidelines as coach for the 56th time! Lions lost a bunch of folks on both sides of the ball from last year’s nearly-perfect team and have an away match with the Frightenin’ Irish on-deck. A new offensive line and new secondary portend a shootout vs. defending (and contending) MAC title Zips squad. Nifty Lions start slow, covering only 1of last 4 openers (ironically, the sole cover was against the Zips)... Lions 23 Zips 9

#20 NEBRASKA over Louisiana Tech giving 20: Huskers team was definitely an enigma last season, but can’t see Bulldogs club in flux (only 2 back on defense) putting enough offensive or defensive pressure on NU to stay within three touchdowns...Big Red 35 LT 10

#21 OREGON over Stanford giving 11: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Trees were 106th in total defense last year. Even with Ducks’ depleted D, Oregon’s biggest question going into this one is which of the 48 possible uniform combos to wear! Cardinal has San Josie State up next, but given 2005 loss to UC-Davis, even that could be an adventure ... Mallards 45 Stanford 20

Southern Methodist over #25 TEXAS TECH taking 26 1/2: Goin’ out on a slight limb here. Ponies have covered two of last three against the Raiders, but those two came at home, while the ATS loss came at Lubbock, where Tech scores twice as many points as on the road...Texas Tech 41 Mustangs 19

SUN. SEPT. 3
Kentucky over #13 LOUISVILLE taking 23: Eighth straight time Wildcats get the Birds to open the year. KY hasn’t fared well ATS here, but did cover the only pair of double-digit spreads in the last 5 seasons (losing by only a TD last year as another 23-point ‘dog!). Vindy will be gunnin’ for Louisville after the Cards posted 8 forecast losses last year in 9 tries...Cards 38 ‘Cats 20

BAYLOR over #22 Texas Christian taking 7 ½: New Bears OC Lee Hays should boost Baylor’s scoring potential. He’s also a former Marine sniper...so if Frogs defenders start dropping to the turf for no apparent reason ....! "Mr. Berringer. Mr. Tom Berringer to the white courtesy phone, please."...Toads 23 Baylor 20

MON. SEPT. 4
#12 MIAMI over #11 Florida State giving 3 ½: Will probably be a battle of defense and special teams with both offenses expected to struggle early. ‘Canes should’ve won it last year. Injuns have covered only two of last nine in this series. Miami will be missing a few good folks in this due to suspension. If the ‘Noles can’t establish the run early, they’re in trouble. "Under" might be the best play considering the total has continued to drop each of the past few years... ‘Canes 17 FSU 12

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

Can’t wait to tune into Baby First and watch the commercials during the ESPN segments that hawk Miller Lite in the new formula-bottle six-pack! "Duh-duh-dum...duh-duh-dum!"

This June, Irish safety/punt returner Tom Zbikowski posted a first-round KO in his inaugural pro boxing match. Observers said Tommy Z. came out at the bell, made his opponent miss then set up his blockers and streaked down the left side of the ring past the referee untouched into the neutral corner to score the knockout!

This week on the big screen...Will Ferrell stars as the aging Seminoles’ coach in "Tallahassee Nights: The Ballad of Rickety Bobby Bowden"!

Vols’ back-up QB Jim-Bob Cooter will miss this weekend’s opener vs. Cal after receiving an indefinite suspension in June for incurring a drunk-driving charge. That’s OK. This gives him time to catch-up on re-runs of Dukes of Hazzard.

More on the spelling bee....were questionable spellings in the last two minutes of each round reviewable only by teachers in the booth? The winning word was "ursprache"! Wait! Vindy knows that one...and can even use it in a sentence..."Ahem...’Brian Ursprache makes another tackle for Da’ Bears!’"

Anybody else catch the batting helmets worn by contenders in the Little League World Series this year??!! Shades of Rick Moranis’ "Lord Dark Helmet" character in "Space Balls"!!!!!

Rumor had it an Elvis impersonator was scheduled to perform at the World Cup soccer opening ceremonies and sing "FIFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Las Vegas!"

Vindy’s Week 1 Best Bets: Last Week: 0-0 Season: 0-0 (.000)
South Carolina -8 over Mississippi State, Texas-El Paso +2 over SAN DIEGO STATE, Houston -13 over RICE, Hawaii +17 over ALABAMA

Next week...Vindicator reviews some of the off-season silliness around the world of sports, including the NFL (and reveals the location [almost] of...Jimmy Hoffa!) Stay tuned!

A Comparison Preseason Bowl Picks

A COMPARISON OF 2006-07 PRESEASON BOWL PICKS (Vindy’s picks [in bold], followed by CollegeFootballNews.com, Phil Steele, CBSSportsline.com, The Sports Summit forum host VT Hokie [who gets a warm Vindicator round of applause for calling final scores too!]) and thecollegefootballguru.com...

DEC. 19
SAN DIEGO COUNTY CREDIT UNION POINSETTIA: Utah vs. Tulsa
CFN: Missouri vs. Fresno St.
Steele: San Diego St. vs. Navy
Sportsline: Utah vs. Navy
VT Hokie: BYU 49 Navy 35
Guru: BYU vs. Nevada-Reno
ESPN: Michigan St. vs. Fresno St.

DEC. 21
PIONEER PURE VISION LAS VEGAS: Arizona State vs. TCU
CFN: Oregon St. vs. BYU
Steele: Utah vs. Oregon
Sportsline: UCLA vs. TCU
VT Hokie: Washington State 39 Utah 27
Guru: Utah vs. Arizona State
ESPN: Utah vs. Arizona State

DEC. 22
NEW ORLEANS: North Texas vs. Southern Miss
CFN: UL-Lafayette vs. East Carolina
Steele: UL-Lafayette vs. Central Florida
Sportsline: UL-Lafayette vs. Houston
VT Hokie: Southern Miss 25 ULL 6
Guru: UL-Lafayette vs. Houston
ESPN: UL-Lafayette vs. UTEP

DEC. 23
NEW MEXICO: Colorado State vs. Boise State
CFN: New Mexico vs. Nevada-Reno
Steele: BYU vs. Nevada-Reno
Sportsline: BYU vs. Nevada-Reno
VT Hokie: Wyoming 41 Nevada-Reno 21
Guru: Colorado State vs. Fresno State
ESPN: Colorado State vs. Nevada-Reno

BIRMINGHAM: East Carolina vs. Connecticut
CFN: Houston vs. Pittsburgh
Steele: Southern Miss vs. Connecticut
Sportsline: Tulsa vs. South Florida
VT Hokie: Central Florida 31 Northern Illinois 24
Guru: Southern Miss vs. South Florida
ESPN: Southern Miss vs. Miami-Ohio

ARMED FORCES: BYU vs. UTEP
CFN: TCU vs. Tulsa
Steele: TCU vs. UTEP
Sportsline: Colorado St. vs. UTEP
VT Hokie: TCU 47 Houston 34
Guru: TCU vs. UTEP
ESPN: BYU vs. Houston

DEC. 24
HAWAII: Arizona vs. Hawaii
CFN: Washington St. vs. Hawaii
Steele: Washington St. vs. Hawaii
Sportsline: Arizona St. vs. Fresno St.
VT Hokie: Cal 59 Hawaii 27
Guru: Oregon State vs. Hawaii
ESPN: Washington St. vs. Hawaii

DEC. 26
MOTOR CITY: Toledo vs. Michigan State
CFN: Northern Illinois vs. Memphis
Steele: Toledo vs. Wisconsin
Sportsline: Toledo vs. Michigan St.
VT Hokie: Toledo 34 Purdue 27
Guru: Northern Illinois vs. Rutgers
ESPN: Northern Illinois vs. Minnesota

DEC. 27
EMERALD: NC State vs. Washington State
CFN: Virginia vs. Oregon
Steele: Virginia vs. Arizona
Sportsline: Maryland vs. Oregon St.
VT Hokie: Maryland 42 Arizona 21
Guru: Maryland vs. Arizona
ESPN: Maryland vs. Oregon St.

INDEPENDENCE: Kansas vs. Ol' Miss
CFN: Iowa St. vs. Ol’ Miss
Steele: Kansas State vs. South Carolina
Sportsline: Texas A&M vs. NC State
VT Hokie: Missouri 36 Arkansas 29
Guru: Kansas vs. Ol' Miss
ESPN: Missouri vs. Ol' Miss

DEC. 28
PACIFIC LIFE HOLIDAY: Southern Cal vs. Nebraska
CFN: Cal vs. Nebraska
Steele: Cal vs. Texas A&M
Sportsline: Cal vs. Nebraska
VT Hokie: Oregon 38 Texas A&M 17
Guru: Oregon vs. Nebraska
ESPN: Cal vs. Texas Tech

MPC COMPUTERS: Fresno State vs. Wake Forest
CFN: Boise St. vs. Maryland
Steele: Fresno St. vs. Wake Forest
Sportsline: Boise St. vs. Virginia
VT Hokie: Fresno State 34 North Carolina 23
Guru: Boise State vs. North Carolina
ESPN: Boise State vs. NC State

HOUSTON: Baylor vs. Pittsburgh
CFN: Texas A&M vs. South Florida
Steele: Iowa St. vs. South Florida
Sportsline: no pick (bowl wasn’t certified at time of original bowl predictions)
VT Hokie: Pittsburgh 38 Iowa State 24
Guru: Pittsburgh vs. Missouri
ESPN: Pittsburgh vs. Colorado

DEC. 29
CHAMPS SPORTS: Wisconsin vs. Boston College
CFN: Michigan St. vs. Georgia Tech
Steele: Purdue vs. Maryland
Sportsline: Wisconsin vs. Virginia Tech
VT Hokie: Georgia Tech 34 UAB 7
Guru: Wisconsin vs. Georgia Tech
ESPN: Penn St. vs. Miami

GAYLORD HOTELS MUSIC CITY: Tennessee vs. Georgia Tech
CFN: South Carolina vs. Boston College
Steele: Florida vs. Georgia Tech
Sportsline: Arkansas vs. Georgia Tech
VT Hokie: Boston College 31 South Carolina 17
Guru: Arkansas vs. Boston College
ESPN: South Carolina vs. Georgia Tech

BRUT SUN: Texas Tech vs. Oregon
CFN: West Virginia vs. Arizona St.
Steele: Pittsburgh vs. Arizona St.
Sportsline: Rutgers vs. Oregon
VT Hokie: Arizona State 34 West Virginia 17
Guru: UCLA vs. Texas Tech
ESPN: Oregon vs. Rutgers

INSIGHT: Purdue vs. Missouri
CFN: Purdue vs. Colorado
Steele: Michigan St. vs. Missouri
Sportsline: Purdue vs. Colorado
VT Hokie: Oklahoma State 31 Wisconsin 28
Guru: Michigan State vs. Iowa State
ESPN: Purdue vs. Iowa State

MASTERCARD ALAMO: Iowa State vs. Those Penn State Nifty Lions
CFN: Texas Tech vs. Wisconsin
Steele: Colorado vs. Penn State
Sportsline: Kansas vs. Minnesota
VT Hokie: Michigan State 37 Colorado 29
Guru: Texas A&M vs. Purdue
ESPN: Texas A&M vs. Wisconsin

DEC. 30
AUTOZONE LIBERTY: Houston vs. South Carolina
CFN: Southern Miss vs. Alabama
Steele: Houston vs. Alabama
Sportsline: Central Florida vs. Tennessee
VT Hokie: Boise State 38 UTEP 27
Guru: Tulsa vs. Alabama
ESPN: Central Florida vs. Alabama

MEINEKE CAR CARE: Maryland vs. Navy
CFN: NC State vs. Navy
Steele: Boston College vs. West Virginia
Sportsline: Boston College vs. Louisville
VT Hokie: Clemson 32 USF 13
Guru: Georgia Tech vs. Navy
ESPN: Boston College vs. Navy

CHICK-FIL-A: Virginia Tech vs. Alabama
CFN: Clemson vs. Georgia
Steele: Florida St. vs. LSU
Sportsline: Clemson vs. Alabama
VT Hokie: Florida State 24 Alabama 14 (and it’s "Peach Bowl, damn it!")
Guru: Miami vs. South Carolina
ESPN: Virginia Tech vs. Arkansas

JAN. 1
GATOR: Florida State vs. Notre Dame
CFN: Virginia Tech vs. Notre Dame
Steele: Clemson vs. Nebraska
Sportsline: Miami vs. Texas Tech
VT Hokie: Virginia Tech 33 Nebraska 21
Guru: Clemson vs. Louisville
ESPN: Clemson vs. Nebraska

AT&T COTTON: Colorado vs. Arkansas
CFN: Oklahoma vs. Arkansas
Steele: Texas Tech vs. Arkansas
Sportsline: Iowa St. vs. Georgia
VT Hokie: Georgia 26 Texas Tech 24
Guru: Oklahoma vs. Tennessee
ESPN: Oklahoma vs. Georgia

OUTBACK: Michigan vs. Florida
CFN: Penn State vs. Tennessee
Steele: Michigan vs. Georgia
Sportsline: Michigan vs. South Carolina
VT Hokie: Penn State 21 Tennessee 18
Guru: Michigan vs. Georgia
ESPN: Iowa vs. Tennessee

CAPITAL ONE: Auburn vs. Ohio State
CFN: Florida vs. Michigan
Steele: Tennessee vs. Iowa
Sportsline: Florida vs. Penn State
VT Hokie: Florida 31 Iowa 27
Guru: Florida vs. Penn State
ESPN: Florida vs. Michigan

ROSE: Georgia vs. California
CFN: Iowa vs. Florida State
Steele: Ohio State vs. USC
Sportsline: Iowa vs. USC
VT Hokie: Michigan 28 USC 16
Guru: Ohio State vs. Cal
ESPN: West Virginia vs. USC

TOSTITOS FIESTA: Oklahoma vs. Miami
CFN: Texas vs. Utah
Steele: Notre Dame vs. Louisville
Sportsline: Oklahoma vs. Auburn
VT Hokie: Oklahoma 28 Notre Dame 27
Guru: Texas vs. Iowa
ESPN: Texas vs. TCU

JAN. 2
FED-EX ORANGE: Clemson vs. Louisville
CFN: Miami vs. Ohio St.
Steele: Miami vs. Boise St.
Sportsline: Florida State vs. Notre Dame
VT Hokie: Texas 27 Miami 13
Guru: Florida State vs. LSU
ESPN: Florida State vs. Louisville

JAN. 3
ALLSTATE SUGAR: LSU vs. Texas
CFN: LSU vs. Louisville
Steele: Virginia Tech vs. Texas
Sportsline: LSU vs. Texas
VT Hokie: LSU 47 Louisville 29
Guru: Auburn vs. Notre Dame
ESPN: LSU vs. Notre Dame

JAN. 6
INTERNATIONAL: Northern Illinois vs. Rutgers
CFN: Akron vs. Rutgers
Steele: Kent St. vs. Rutgers
Sportsline: Akron vs. Pittsburgh
VT Hokie: Akron 32 UConn 31
Guru: Toledo vs. UConn
ESPN: Bowling Green vs. South Florida

JAN. 7
GMAC: Central Florida vs. Akron
CFN: UTEP vs. Toledo
Steele: Tulsa vs. Northern Illinois
Sportsline: Southern Miss vs. Northern Illinois
VT Hokie: Kent State 29 Tulsa 27
Guru: Central Florida vs. Akron
ESPN: Tulsa vs. Akron

JAN. 8
BCS TITLE: West Virginia vs. Iowa
CFN: USC vs. Auburn
Steele: Oklahoma vs. Auburn
Sportsline: West Virginia vs. Ohio St.
VT Hokie: Ohio State 23 Auburn 15
Guru: West Virginia vs. USC
ESPN: Ohio St. vs. Auburn

These are the only selections Vindicator could find. If ya know of more preseason bowl projections, let Vindy know and we’ll try to post them in the blog!

Vindy's 2006-2007 Preseason Bowl Projections

Since the post-season rarely goes exactly as called by the experts, the Weber Kid takes a shot at projecting the bowl pairings. Let’s face it, despite preseason strengths of many top-ranked clubs, there are always injuries, turnovers and off-field issues that create havoc, not to mention a surprise turnaround for a team or three. Bearing that in mind, here’s what our prestigious prognosticator sees down the road (with selected commentaries)...

DEC. 19
SAN DIEGO COUNTY CREDIT UNION POINSETTIA: Utah vs. Tulsa

DEC. 21
PIONEER PURE VISION LAS VEGAS: Arizona State vs. TCU
(If the guys with the pitchforks would ever get a defense....; Horny Toads are thinking much higher than this, especially with the new BCS criteria, but...)

DEC. 22
NEW ORLEANS: North Texas vs. Southern Miss

DEC. 23
NEW MEXICO: Colorado State vs. Boise State

BIRMINGHAM: East Carolina vs. Connecticut

FT. WORTH: BYU vs. UTEP

DEC. 24
HAWAII: Arizona vs. Hawaii

DEC. 26
MOTOR CITY: Toledo vs. Michigan State

DEC. 27
EMERALD: NC State vs. Washington State

INDEPENDENCE: Kansas vs. Mississippi

DEC. 28
PACIFIC LIFE HOLIDAY: Southern Cal vs. Nebraska
(Troy Boys finally let somebody else have some fun in the PAC-10 [but then, Vindy had SoCal here this time last year too]; Big Red improving, but still just a bridesmaid)

MPC COMPUTERS: Fresno State vs. Wake Forest

DEC. 29
CHAMPS SPORTS: Wisconsin vs. Boston College

GAYLORD HOTELS MUSIC CITY: Tennessee vs. Georgia Tech
(Ramblin’ Wreck fans will rejoice at the prospect of QB Reggie Ball playing his last game!)

VITALIS SUN: Texas Tech vs. Oregon

INSIGHT: Purdue vs. Missouri

MASTERCARD ALAMO: Iowa State vs. Those Penn State Nifty Lions
(As long as the Lions whack Michigan for ruining their perfect year in ‘05, Vindy will be happy with wherever they go in the post-season!)

DEC. 30
AUTOZONE LIBERTY: Houston vs. South Carolina
(Coogs’ offense and a decent schedule finally leads Houston to top of C-USA)

MEINEKE CAR CARE: Maryland vs. Navy

CHICK-FIL-A: Virginia Tech vs. Alabama

JAN. 1
GATOR: Florida State vs. Notre Dame

AT&T COTTON: Colorado vs. Arkansas
(Buffaloes aren’t gettin’ any preseason respect from the experts, but we think Dan Hawkins will do good things in Boulder)

OUTBACK: Michigan vs. Florida
(Will Lloyd Carr even be around long enough to coach the Wolverines in this one?)

CAPITAL ONE: Auburn vs. Ohio State
(With Longhorns’ title last year, Auburn becomes new Texas...always hyped in preseason, but always a little short in the end)

ROSE: Georgia vs. California
(Surely, USC can’t survive yet another major loss of key players, ASU defense is a problem and the Ducks are too busy designing flourescent duds)

TOSTITOS FIESTA: Oklahoma vs. Miami
(Sooners are the popular pick to take the Big 12, we like them too; Hokies might replace the ‘Canes here)

JAN. 2
FED-EX ORANGE: Clemson vs. Louisville
(An admitted Tiger-basher in the past, Vindy shows Clemson some love; lots of opportunity for Cards’ Brohm to re-injure the knee before November showdown with WVU)

JAN. 3
ALLSTATE SUGAR: LSU vs. Texas
(Bayou Bengals have enough to win wide-open SEC West; Vince-less ‘Horns’ defense gets ‘em back to the BCS)

JAN. 6
INTERNATIONAL: Northern Illinois vs. Rutgers
(Wow! A January bowl for the Scarlet Nuts?! Tony Soprano said so!)

JAN. 7
GMAC: Central Florida vs. Akron

JAN. 8
BCS TITLE: West Virginia vs. Iowa
(Mounties simply have to get by a road trip to Louisville; Hawkeyes’ toughest game will be a jaunt to the Not-So-Big House if they beat reloading/rebuilding/re-whatever Buckeyes early)

C’mon back in December to see how these panned out! Less than six weeks ‘til the first kickoff!

Vindy's 2005-06 Bowl Recap

MID-BOWL SEASON SLIDE CAUSES CHANGES, CHARGES, RUMORS

GRAZ, Austria (Reuters)...On December 28th, officials here were in the middle of replacing Arnold Schwarzenegger’s name with that of the Vegas Vindicator on a soccer stadium following Vindy’s 7-2-1 bowl season start when, like a rip in the time-space continuum, Weber went into an unprecedented eight-game losing streak. The Austrians quickly removed the prognosticator’s moniker and are reportedly renaming the stadium again for recently-retired Badgers’ coach, Barry Alvarez. Weber’s plummet on December 29th, 30th and 31st fueled speculation that Weber was throwing his picks to put himself in position to select Reggie Bush in the April NFL Draft. Vindy had reportedly tried to shave his wrists with his black Razr phone after early three-touchdown leads were blown by both Northwestern and South Carolina in the midst of the demise. Unhappy with the turn of events, even hockey fans at Joe Louis Arena in Detroit watching the scores roll in on the Jumbo-Tron got into the act and sarcastically hurled octopi onto the ice (and there wasn’t even a hockey game in progress). In an effort to stop the bleeding, Weber took extreme measures and shined a laser-pointer into the cockpit of a Las Vegas sportsbook and was subsequently arrested. The forecaster was later released on his own recognizance, though investigators noted Weber was also prepared to fire a few of the Army’s controversial white-phosphorous rounds into the book if the losses kept piling up. En route to his ultimate bowl tally of 12-13-1 (.480), Weber ignored comments of Congressman Joe Barton (R-TX), who called Vindy’s selections on the final three days of 2005 "deeply flawed", and did call the exact final score of the Rose Bowl, to which the proud prognosticator, in honor of what would’ve been Elvis’ 71st birthday this weekend, replied "Thang ya...thang ya very much!" Vindicator said he would now turn his attention to the NFL playoffs and college hoops.

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

Coming into the 05-06 campaign, Vin carried a post-season record of 88-99-1 since the ‘97-‘98 bowl season.. Our famous forecaster’s 100th loss came right off the bat as SoMiss couldn’t hold serve as a 17-point fave in the opening match vs. Arkansas State!

Despite the poor overall showing, Weber’s best bowl bets went 4-1 (.800) and the Longhorns’ outright win in the final seconds of the Rose left him squirting more tears than Dick Vermeil!!

As part of his New Year’s resolutions, Weber vowed to try out for the Carolina Panthers’ cheerleading squad!

Former Steelers WR Lynn Swann will be running for Pennsylvania governor in 2006. If the winning vote gets deflected by Jack Tatum and run into Swann’s ballot box by Franco Harris, would it be an "immaculate election!"???

QB Marcus Vick was tossed from Virginia Tech’s football team for multiple on- and off-field indiscretions, including stomping on the leg of a Louisville defender during the Gator Bowl. Vin predicts an NFL career for Michael’s younger bro somewhere between those of Randy Moss and Lawrence Phillips. Vin was thinking outside da’ boxscore when he made the following comment in his Week 2 forecast..."Vick won’t stay outta’ trouble all season, but he’s good here (vs. Duke)". By the way, asked about Weber’s prediction, Randy quipped he "isn’t sure Vindicator is the right forecaster for the job, but I’ve got Weber’s back." Moss then pretended to drop his drawers and moon the media!

Vindicator recently (true story) received an apology letter from University of Richmond president William E. Cooper re: his statement about "turning mush into mush". Weber had two options. Respond with "It’s OK. Comments like that are just fodder for Vindy’s forecast."or "We know the beleaguered prez doesn’t know his mascot from a hole in the ground and..uh...by the way, Bill...bite me!"

Don’t want to say Vice President Cheney went the wrong way as the deciding vote on recent legislation, but had Dick cast the tie-breaker for the BCS Championship, we’d have been looking at Rice vs. Duke in the Rose Bowl!

Vindicator did win his Yahoo fantasy football league. Installed in the playoffs as the #3 seed, Vin crushed the #1 seed by 30 points!

Our famous forecaster likes the Denver Broncos to battle (and beat) the Seattle Seahawks in this year’s Super..um, no can’t infringe on the trademark...NFL championship..uh..no, that’s not right, either...how ‘bout..that important game every late January/early February that millions watch and bet on and...er..um..some team walks away with uh..some trophy declaring them...uh....the best team in the pro-league?! Yeahhhhh...that’s it!

"Locked in A Box!": Those !!@%$#! TCU Horny Toads stepped all over Vindy’s feng shui’d shoes, winning by only 3 as 4-point chalk, clobbering Weber’s three-team parlay bet after getting covers by Navy (+2) and Boston College (-1 ½)

Leftover Hash! Vindy empties the rest of the clip and presents items that didn’t find their way into this column earlier!

During halftime of the Virginia Tech-Florida State skirmish earlier in December, regular-joe Chip Craver hit on ten consecutive 10-yard throws into a Dr. Pepper barrel then barely over-threw his million-dollar toss. The Chipster just moved into the #3 QB spot on the Big Board for several NFL teams for the 2006 Draft!

For the second time this season and third time in the last two seasons, Vindy grabbed a piece of the prize money for Coast Casinos "Pick Da’ Pros" no-point Week 13 NFL contest, going 15-0, only to realize the NFL gods had beaten Weber like a rented kicker! Following the Seahawks’ huge Monday night win over Philly that week, Weber felt "as light as a feather...as giddy as a school-boy" but went looking for a razorblade after learning 251 other folks had also submitted perfect cards!

After a barrage of cooler bashing by MLB pitchers this season, it’s only a matter of time before the ACLU (American Cooler Liberties Union) files a lawsuit.

T-Ball coach Mark Downs Jr. told one of his players to hurt a disabled teammate so he didn’t have to play him in the game and offered $25 to do so. Makes John Chaney and Woody Hayes look like freakin’ Boy Scouts! At least they went after players on the opposing teams!

Last spring, the percentage of D-1 men’s baseball teams falling below 925 APR cutoff was 23%, second-only to football. Looks like "tools of ignorance" applies to more than just the catcher position.

Three Kentucky Derby riders were suspended for wearing unauthorized advertising on their uniforms during the race. Apparently, hawking the online poker companies was acceptable, but ads for Vindy’s Picks really annoyed the officials!

The Michael Jackson trial was temporarily stopped when Jacko suffered from a lack of electrolytes. Weber was just waiting for the commercial that noted..."This Court TV timeout brought to you by Gatorade. Is it in you?!"

Among the sports on the Olympics waiting list, possibly for 2012..."roller sports". Officially, this has to do with off-road, in-line skating races. Vin would rather vote for something closer to roller derby or "Rollerball!"

London’s winning pitch to get the 2012 Olympic games included $50,000 "credits" to each national Olympic body toward the costs of using pre-Olympics training facilities in Britain. The credits are also good toward 2-for-1 buffets and logo merchandise!

A day before the 2005 Pro Bowl, Marvin Harrison got into a physical melee with individuals seeking his autograph. And even with three attackers draped all over him, the Colts wide receiver still managed to catch a pass from Peyton Manning and scamper into the end zone for a touchdown!

The PGA meets Star Wars as Annika Sorenstam’s lesser-known brother, Anakin Sorenstam, turns to the dark side and becomes...Darth Golfer!

Bo Jackson sued a newspaper for printing an article alleging he used steroids. Bo knows lawsuit?!

Congress OK’d the minting of a dollar coin series featuring presidents. Cool! On one side will be the university president, on the other side...the conference logo, right?!

While some say President Bush’s domestic spying policies violates civil rights, backers suggest previous capability could’ve prevented publication of Vindy’s 2005 Week One picks!

Several leading cable companies will soon offer "Family Choice" TV as a way to provide "child-friendly" broadcasting. Guess we won’t be seeing Vikings’ cruise-vacation highlights or Colorado recruiting party videos on that station!

How ironic! The April 24 edition of the Las Vegas Review Journal, one day following the 2005 NFL Draft, listed the Bengals, Giants, Cardinals, Lions and Texans, not once but twice on a list of odds to win the 2006 Super Bowl before listing Da’ Bears, Browns, Dolphins, Raiders and Niners!

A November edition of the LVRJ noted a headline of "Election 2008: Hillary vs. Rudy". No brainer...Mr. Ruttiger has Weber’s vote all the way!!!

Sports Illustrated reported earlier this season, the Reverend Jerry Falwell canned the I-AA Liberty head coach and a couple of assistant Athletic Directors, noting, "I’m 72...I don’t have much time to get the football program in the top 20". Uh...Jerry...meet Joe Paterno. Jerry..Joe! Joe..Jerry!

An Oshkosh ,Wisconsin woman yielded her three-game Packers ticket to avoid jail time following indictment on an embezzling charge. Considering Green Bay’s performance this season.....she got over!

Former NFL linebacker Keith McCants was indicted on a charge he stole a vehicle from a car dealership in Mobile, Alabama stemming from his 1998 arrest for failure to return an SUV. Any good defender knows he should always try to return something he grabbed that was intended for someone else!

The home team in an NFL game must provide the referee with 24 footballs. Ironically, that’s the same number of beers NCAA home teams must provide to Vindicator to be picked in his forecast during any given week!

Former MLB hurler Rick Ankiel, known for wild pitches and now an outfielder, walked the first four outfielders he played catch with and the first three runners he tried to throw out at 3B. And then the next inning...

Sports bettors’ prayer..."Give us this day our daily spread!"

In January 2005, FOX rejected a Super Bowl commercial about a health product featuring a brief view of Mickey Rooney’s behind. Said Rooney, "We’re not selling sex, we’re selling a health product." Ummmm....does anybody else out there feel healthier after gettin’ a glimpse of Mickey’s 84-year-old derriere??!!

Padres’ shortstop and 1st pick in the 2004 MLB Draft bit a bouncer in a bar in Arizona and was suspended. Witnesses say after a couple of drinks, Bush thought he’d been selected by the Diamondbacks and was coiled in a corner of the bar when the bouncer approached!

"Iiiiiiiiiiii’m...too sexy for the spread....too sexy for my picks...too sexy for my forrrrrrrrrrecast!"

In July 04, Mike Ditka passed up a chance to run as the Republican candidate for Illinois senator. Was it because he couldn’t exercise a coaches’ challenge to reverse legislation or bills on the floor during the last two minutes of a half were reviewable only by Congressmen in the booth? Anybody else see the irony in Ditka promoting Viagra after the previous GOP candidate stepped down following a sex scandal?

"If ya can dodge a spread-loss, ya can dodge a ball."

An August 2005 issue of The Sporting News listed the 388 Best Sports Cities. Given some of the known readership, Vindicator notes a few of the cities listed and their respective rankings: #1 Boston, MA; #33 Columbus, Ohio; #47 Austin, TX; #58 Gainesville, FL; #74 Tallahassee; #99 Las Vegas; #106 State College, PA; #127 Richmond, VA; #182 Dover, DE; #227 Easton, PA; and #388 Tampa-St. Petersburg. Conspicuously absent... Honolulu, HI and South Bend, IN!

Thailand sponsored a soccer game between prisoners and elephants in 2004. It ended in a 5-5 tie...no shootout? Did the elephants understand the yellow cards? How did they get the pachyderms to stand upright with their feet covering their crotches on free kicks near the goal box for the prisoners. One of the elephant riders barely escaped injury when his mastodon attempted a flying bicycle kick and rolled over on him!

A plan to put a Spiderman movie logo on the bases in June 2004 for Interleague play was eventually squashed. MLB could’ve picked a worse movie...like...Gigli. The logo of J-Lo’s butt would’ve taken up way too much room between the bases!

And finally...Scientists have recently discovered footprints believed to be 20,000-years-old in the mud of the Australian Outback. Not sure if JoPa’s ever traveled "Down Under", but researchers have asked for a plaster cast of Coach’s tootsies for comparison!

Until next season...be happy, be healthy...be da’ ball!

Vindy's 2005-06 Bowl Picks

NCAA FOOTBALL: GOODWILL TOWARD MEN...BAD MEN

MIAMI, Florida (BBC)...In an unprecedented display of holiday cheer, two American sports institutions have reached out to two of the world’s most notorious figures. After being "honored" by Fidel Castro’s reference to him as President Bush’s "fat, little brother in Florida", Sunshine State governor, Jeb Bush sent a ticket to the Cuban leader for the governor’s luxury suite at Miami’s Dolphin Stadium, which will host this year’s Orange Bowl between the LSU Tigers and the Miami Hurricanes. No word on whether the communist dictator will accept the offer.
Meanwhile, the West Point Military Academy opened its stadium locker room to Saddam Hussein after the former Iraqi president complained at his trial that he had been denied the opportunity to shower. Members of the Golden Knights football team escorted Saddam to the showers and after Hussein emerged rather bruised and battered, an anonymous trainer said, "Damnedest thing I ever saw. That Hooosane fella’ kept slippin’ and slidin’ on that bar of soap. Musta’ been...two-...three hundred times!"

The sound of linemen driving on blocking sleds made entirely of discarded packages of fruitcake can signal only one thing.....the return of...

THE WEBER KID’S 2005-06 BOWL PREDICTIONS
(Using lines of Dec. 15; over/under totals in parentheses. Known side effects include: fresher breath, lower cholesterol, world peace, nuclear disarmament, clean politics, natural male enhancement, natural female enhancement, brighter smile, better satellite reception, a stronger economy, cheaper oil prices and relief of painful itching & burning)

NEW ORLEANS: Southern Miss over Arkansas State giving 17 (51): Nice to see a different Sun Belt squad here after four straight years of North Texas. Unfortunately, the song remains the same and the opponent wins by a bunch. Win or lose, Eagles played a lot of close games, but in a better conference. Indians may not reach double-digits, but we’ll call it...USM 34 Arkie State 10

Dec. 21
GMAC: Toledo over Texas-El Paso giving 2 ½ (62): Miners’ poor ground game makes them one-dimensional and Toledo ain’t bad at defending the pass (15 TDs allowed, 13 interceptions, 57% pass completion allowed). Over/under on total punts here is about 6 ½ as neither team averaged more than 4 punts per game. Rockets run to the win and the cover...Toledo 31 UTEP 24

Dec. 22
LAS VEGAS: California over Brigham Young giving 7 (62): Could be a great game. Bears suffered some tough losses. Mormons are 8 points from 8-3 record. Lee Corso will be the keynote speaker at the bowl’s kickoff luncheon on December 21. No word on whether Mayor Goodman will be on-hand to give Cal and BYU the big thumbs off...er..um..thumbs up! (What happens in Vegas.... often shows up in Vindy’s Picks!). In a track meet, the advantage goes to the Coogs. "Not so fast, my friend!"...Cal 28 BYU 20

POINSETTIA: Navy over Colorado State giving 2 1/2 (60): Vindy is simply disappointed he wasn’t in the stands when Rams’ fans started tossing potted Christmas plants onto the field following CSU’s 4-point victory (and spread loss) over dismal UNLV team to get here. Middies were last year’s bowl lock for Weber. Navy could beat any Mountain Jest team, except maybe (maybe!) TCU...Navy 30 CSU 24

Dec. 23
FT. WORTH: Houston over Kansas taking 3 (49): Jayhawks only here on strength of finale OT win over Iowa State that also sent Colorado into the wood-chipper against Texas. Kansas D needs to shut down Houston offense, but it allowed a nearly 62% pass completion rate. Not a good stat facing Houston club that throws early and often (and ranks 23rd nationally in pass offense)...Houston 28 Kansas 24

Dec. 24
HAWAII: Central Florida over Nevada-Reno taking 2 (63 1/2): Wolf Pack got five turnovers from Fresno to pull out the win, but no other victories standout on Reno’s slate. Knights have faced (and beaten) higher-quality competitors playing in the MAC. UCF will also be better-prepared to play in the Hawaiian weather...Knights 31 Nevada 23

Dec. 26
MOTOR CITY: Memphis over Akron giving 5 1/2 (48): Tigers were 3-2 straight up when their opponents posted more total offensive yards. Zips could certainly do just that with potent air game. Expect Memphis RB DeAngelo Williams to keep the chains moving and the clock running though. Barring Tiger turnovers...Memphis 29 Akron 20

Dec. 27
CHAMPS SPORTS: #23 Clemson vs. Colorado: OFF Tigers come in with momentum of three regular season wins and usual late-season save-the-coach’s-job mode. Buffs come in with an interim coach and a football camp auditing scandal. Bison offense couldn’t get out of its own way, racking up nearly 10 flags per game just on its own side of the ball...Clemson 24 Colorado 10

INSIGHT: Rutgers over Arizona State taking 11 1/2 (62): After a strong spread start, Devils have dropped four of last six. Scarlet Nuts no bargain ATS either at 4-6 but may be more inclined to take advantage of first bowl appearance since 1978 (ironically, that also was against Arizona State). ASU is simply playing across town from its home park...boring!. An outright upset wouldn’t shock this forecaster...Arizona State 34 Rutgers 30

Dec. 28
MPC COMPUTERS: #19 Boston College over BOISE STATE (Pick ‘Em) (54 1/2): Vindy considered this for lock. Yeah, it’s on the blue carpet of Broncos’ home stadium (where Boise is 4-1 ATS this year) but Eagles have to take exception to "pick ‘em" status against BSU team that hasn’t been anywhere near as impressive as Boise teams of the past few seasons. Offensive and defensive stats are nearly equal, except BC did it against the ACC, while Broncos got their numbers vs. "mighty" WAC...BC 30 BSU 24

ALAMO: Nebraska over #20 Michigan taking 12 (46 1/2): The really sad thing about this game is that even the victorious coach probably gets sent to the waiver wire following mediocre seasons by both sides... Wolverines 24 Big Red 16

Dec. 29
EMERALD: #24 Georgia Tech over Utah giving 8 ½ (46): Most likely to be the "wish I had it back" bowl pick. Vindy is still very wary of what kinda’ performance the Bees will get from QB Reggie Bell, but this also ain’t Urban Meyer’s Utes and we like Tech’s road triumphs at Auburn and Miami more than we like Utah’s away wins at UNLV and BYU. The "under" looks easy here...GT 23 Utah 14

HOLIDAY: #6 Oregon over Oklahoma giving 3 (55): Vindicator’s good name probably got smeared all over Feartheduck.com after he took the Beavers and da’ points in Oregon’s season-ender against Oregon State. Ducks might appeal to Congress about recent BCS snub with only loss being a defeat to #1 USC. Sooners got it together after 2-3 start...Mallards 31 Oklahoma 27

Dec. 30
MUSIC CITY: Minnesota over Virginia giving 3 (58 ½): Gophers will run the ball for at least 30 points. Unfortunately, the Minny defense will also give up a ton to the Cavs. The "over" might be the best call... Gerbils 34 Virginia 30

SUN: Northwestern over #17 UCLA taking 3 1/2 (74 1/2): Bruins lost outright to Wyoming in last year’s Las Vegas Bowl as 12-point chalk. NW is 6-2 against the number in its last 8. UCLAns are only 2-4 ATS in their last 6. Bruins are still a young team with some work to do and even disregarding 66 points by USC, UCLA still allowed average of almost 38 points-per-game-against in five games prior to Troy. ‘Cats can light it up. Bruins’ place-kicker Justin Medlock was arrested this past week for DUI. Was he unable to kick in a straight line during the field-sobriety test on the freeway or what?...NW 41 UCLA 35

INDEPENDENCE: South Carolina over Missouri giving 4 (51): With drastic turnaround Spurrier has created in Columbia, it’s only fitting that he leads the Cock-N-Fun to a bowl victory in his return to the NCAA. Reeling Mizzou team has underachieved all year and lost three of four straight up to close out the regular season campaign. Again, the preference is the "under"...SC 23 Tigers 13

PEACH: #9 Miami vs. #10 Louisiana State: OFF

Dec. 31
MEINEKE CAR CARE: South Florida over NC State taking 6 (42): Vindy doesn’t think USF can win this outright, but it’s 5th-ranked pass defense should keep it close to Wolf Pack, which also relies on strong defense and a decent passing attack...NCSU 20 Bulls 17

LIBERTY: Fresno State over Tulsa giving 7 (62): Bulldogs consecutive losses to Reno and Weeziana-Teck were part of conspiracy to keep Fresno from at-large BCS bid. Vindy understands smallish line given Fresno’s collapse, but if they play with trademark "anybody, anytime, anywhere" (something like that) attitude and protect the pigskin, they’ll blow the Hurricane off da’ field...FSU 42 Tulsa 20

HOUSTON: #14 Texas Christian over Iowa State giving 4 (48 1/2): LOCK OF DA’ BOWLS. For second straight year, Cyclones melted down in regular-season finale to miss out on conference title game berth. Unlike last year, however, ISU will not pull out a bowl win. These two teams collectively registered 45 interceptions, but Froggies can win (and cover) this on the ground even if passing game misfires. Looks like an easy "over"... TCU 45 Iowa State 24

Jan. 2
COTTON: #13 Alabama over #18 Texas Tech taking 2 1/2 (47 1/2): Raiders’ potent air offense collapsed against top-tier contestants and the 511 yards-per-game average was a bit inflated by crushing victories over Florida International, Sam Houston State and Indy State. Tech defense wasn’t bad, yielding only 15.5 ppg over last four. Tide can control the ball and the clock enough to grind out the win. Getting Prothro back on special teams would help, but even without him...’Bama 24 TTU 21

OUTBACK: #25 Iowa over #16 Florida taking 2 1/2 (48): Tough call. Urban Meyer has his first SEC regular season under his belt and is no stranger to post-season planning. Hawkeyes can win it outright though if they execute on special teams and win the turnover differential. Hope Fidel enjoys the game ... Gators 21 Iowa 20

GATOR: #12 Virginia Tech over #15 Louisville giving 7 ½ (55): Battle of pretenders? Cards lost their starting QB and the back-up struggled a bit in win over Uconn. Hokies never got it together in defeat at Florida State. Does Marcus Vick have another bad game in him? Louisville probably has a branding iron warming up for Weber’s behind...VT 34 Redbirds 13

CAPITAL ONE: #7 Auburn over #21 Wisconsin giving 10 ½ (53): Badgers nine-win total is a bit deceptive given three Big Ten conference wins over Illinois, Indiana and a Purdue squad having a down year. War Eagles send Wisky coach Barry Alvarez into the twilight with a bowl loss...Auburn 34 Cheeseheads 21

FIESTA: #5 Notre Dame over #4 Ohio State taking 4 (55): Catholics were out-rushed by nine opponents but have only two losses and are 5-0 against the number away from South Bend. If the Rose turns into a runaway by one side or the other, this match becomes potentially the best game on the board. Buckeyes have offensive balance while Irish throw to off-set the 50th-ranked running game. Average points for- and against each team certainly support the noted total, but Vin thinks this will more resemble Irish’s 17-10 triumph at Michigan. "Under" is a good choice...ND 17 Ohio State 16

SUGAR: #11 West Virginia over #8 Georgia taking 8 (45): Mounties’ 5th-ranked running game should keep this a nice tight contest, if not win it straight up for WVU against Dawgs’ 40th-ranked rush defense (and, a couple of games notwithstanding, it ain’t because Joja’ spent a lot of time way out front of opponents and forcing them to throw to catch up)...’Eers 23 UGA 20

Jan. 3
ORANGE: #22 Florida State over #3 Penn State taking 8 (47 1/2): 74-year-old Bobby Bowden faces off against 78-year-old JoPa in the Methuselah Bowl. Losing coach has to lace up the gloves and play Sly Stallone’s opponent in upcoming Rocky VI flick! Injuns will have more fans in the stands at Jacksonville and if the run D that played against the Hokies shows up again here, there’s an upset on-deck...Lions 26 ‘Noles 20

Jan 4
ROSE: #2 Texas over #1 Southern Cal taking 7 (71): ‘Horns will be the best offense Troy has faced and the Trojan D has been a liability. Last chance for somebody to validate Vindy’s rather-adamant pre-season statement that USC will not three-peat...Texas 41 USC 38

BETWEEN THE WHO-HASHMARKS

In news related to this week’s lead story, Condi Rice is investigating allegations detainees have been flown to secret CIA prisons and forced to watch Temple football game film!

Vindy’s bowl picks are full of MILFs. (Oh, behave! That’s..."Match-ups I Liked Forecasting!")

When handing out his post-season "Flame-Thrower" awards, Weber missed those UCLA Bruins, who were 2-6 at the time and now 2-7. They did, however, receive a presidential pardon and were subsequently sent to the petting zoo at Disneyland!

Earlier this month, a panel of scientists lambasted the practice of using cartoon characters to market junk food to children. Does this mean Weber’s plan to hawk brewskis at the Las Vegas Bowl while dressed as SpongeBob is a big no-go???!!!

On da’ big screen, just in time for Christmas.,..a young wizard hits the gridiron and must drop-kick a football between Voltemort’s 20-yard-line and a flaming end zone in..."Harry Punter and the Goal Line of Fire!"Also...a professional hoops league imposes a dress code on its players in..."The Chronicles of the NBA: The Line-Up, The Rich and The Wardrobe". And finally...Ice-T stars as a replay official in South Central Los Angeles in..."Boyz Under Da’ Hood".

The New Orleans Saints were recently kicked to the curb (literally) from the Alamo Dome to the parking lot in favor of a women’s college volleyball team. Guess we know who has the more important group of hitters!!!!

Joe Paterno was named the Home Depot Coach of Da’ Year! JoPa gets a year’s supply of free wood paneling and help actually installing the award in his trophy case!

"Locked in a Box?": 4-10 after MTSU lost outright to I-A rookie Florida International!

Shoppe Talk: Louisville stands currently at 1-9 after missing the cover against UConn.

Vindy’s Bowl Season Best Bets: Championship Week: 1-2 Season: 22-27 (.449)
Ohio State/Notre Dame under 55, West Virginia +8 over Georgia, South Carolina/Missouri under 48 ½, Boston College (PK) over BOISE STATE, Navy -2 ½ over Colorado State

Vindy extends his annual holiday greetings to all of his readers..."Pass on Earth. Goodwill toward linemen."