EMERALD CITY-BASED AERIAL VESSEL MEETS DEMISE OVER SUNFLOWER STATE
WICHITA, Kansas (REUTERS)...State Air National Guard planes were deployed after an unidentified balloon drifted westward over Lawrence, Topeka and Manhattan, potentially threatening college hoops games for the Kansas Jayhawks and K-State Wildcats, undetected by NORAD until changing course, turning south toward Wichita, again possibly disrupting the Shockers’ game on the hardwood. A fighter jet pilot, call-sign “Fabric”, was captured on radio-communications noting he was “too close for mistle-toes, I’m ’ to cap-guns" punctured the surface of the hot-air balloon (Editorial note: Work with us here!). But the on-vessel flame, just above the passenger gondola, slowed the descent until it landed gently in a field of poppies near Hutchinson. Local authorities temporarily detained the lone occupant, shaken but not seriously injured, who identified himself only as “The Wizard”, and fervently explained it was “an accidental launch from OZ” that inadvertently left behind intended-passengers referred to as “Dorothy” and her emotional-support dog “Toto”. Army Reserve air defense artillery units were activated in Tulsa and Stillwater, just in case the craft made its way across the Jayhawker State border into Oklahoma!
Vindy continues to serve as a glorified tackling-dummy for ‘the books, going another 2-3 (21-25-3, .456) and hitting just one of four “best bets”.
‘Euro-’ our way to the sportsbook counter toward da’ “iron-unkind” with...
THE WEBER KID’S 2023 WEEK 11 FORECAST
(’ to hit da’ front-end of da’ one-and-one!)
SAT. NOV. 11
#10 Mississippi @ #1 GEORGIA (“under 58”): The real question here is whether Ol’ Mist can get up again, on the SEC tarmac vs. the league’s top-ranked club, in the wake of a late triumph with a touchdown at 1:40 to play to scrape past Texas A&M. No recent history between the two sides since 2016. Canines have been money-burners ATS 3-6 overall and “between da’ hedgehogs (’ like that) at 1-4 (.200) and have the Vols up next. The pair has gone a collective 10-6 “over”. Five of Georgia eight contests ended beneath 59. Rebels all three prior RG have concluded at less than 59. Ol’ Missed has failed to cover in 6 of 8 as a road dog. 33 of ‘Dawgs previous 38 have been by DD (minus-11 ½ as we go to press), but needed a late INT to seal the deal in 9-point victory over Mizzou (first-ranked opponent on the Gut ’...UGA 29 Mississippi River Boat Gamblers 23
#9 PENN STATE (+4 ½) over #2 Michigan: Lions, at #11 in the initial poll, will need help down the line, but first things first...State must take out the Wolverines or, quoting Tobin Bell (AKA John Kramer/Jigsaw) it’s “Game over.” Big Blue was seemingly unbothered by the controversy surrounding the program we mentioned last week and made short work of Purdue quarterback Hudson “Parlay” Card and his fellow Boilermakers 41-13. In July, 247 Sports ranked Beaver Stadium as #3 “Toughest Stadium to play in as a visitor”, behind only #1 Tiger Stadium (LSU) and #2 Neyland Stadium (Tennessee). Nits had to take a week to recover their sea-legs in an unimpressive 33-24 home vs. then 2-5 Hoosiers. (Yes, we know there are no significant bodies of water anywhere near Happy Valley! Work with us here!) before demolishing Maryland. No two-loss team has ever participated in the CFP Final Four. A holding penalty erased what ’ been a game-changing touchdown against Ohio State. No look-ahead impact last week as this pair outscored their opponents by a combined total of 91-18. If they go down, , who’ve knocked off UM three times in six years and have a coin-flip chance to prevail, can say “Goodnight, Nurse”. The Alma Mater boasts the best in the nation. We hope that it continues...WE ARE 24 Red Dawn (the original and the sequel!) 23
#4 Florida State @ MIAMI (“over 51”): LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. We also seriously contemplated taking Miami with 14 ½. Tribe has now pocketed 15 consecutive scoreboard successes after getting by Pitt 24-7 last week. Undefeated through 9 games, ‘Noles hold the #4-spot in the last playoff rankings and are 6-1-1 “over”, with 7 of 9 above (comfortably in most cases). State was 5-5 as home chalk coming into this year, but has covered 3 of 4 to-date, including an 18-point MOV against then ranked Duke. Da’ Chop, who did not convert any of Pitt’s four turnovers into points, posted a season-low of 24 in the triumph, has covered just once in last four in this series played in Tallahassee. Miami provided bowl-eligibility to NC State in last week’s 20-6 loss. Pelicans have gone 2-3 SU/1-4 ATS in last five contests after being in the Top 25 four straight weeks. Updating a preseason Marc stat, “Da’ U” has covered 16 of 21 vs. undefeated foes. State QB Jordan Travis gets his first crack in the rivalry, but da’ visitor possibly gets some guys back from injury by kick-off...FSU 34 Ibis 24
#19 KANSAS (-4) over Texas Tech: damn-near frittered away an 18-point 3rd Quarter advantage vs. Iowa hung on to achieve a long-missing back-to-back conference victory “streak”. Aviary has been on a rollercoaster, swapping conference wins and losses on a weekly basis until the twin-killing last Saturday, which placed itself back in the Top 25. Marc Lawrence has KU at 6-1 ATS in the first of consecutive home tilts and now 6-0 after winning its previous game SU getting points. Jayhawks’ last four wins have been by 11, 29, 5 and 7 and Kansas is undefeated in five games at David Booth Kansas Memorial Stadium in 2023. Birds have multiple revenge factors as Tech has beaten them three years running. Host is just a game back of Texas and Oklahoma State for Big Twelve supremacy. Both sides are pass-heavy. Comparison of totals offers no clear guidance. “Guns Up” has beaten the line just one time in past seven versus the Top 25...Almira Gulch 34 Red Raiders 28
COLORADO (+10) over #23 Arizona: Best guess for “wish we had it back”. Tucson Tabby Cats continue surprising run having dismissed three straight Top 25 opponents (and lost a 43-41 track-meet at ranked USC a week before then), which makes this a good spot for a let-down game with currently #13 Utah to follow. Previous history between the two cubs is basically irrelevant with Buffaloes under new management and a completely revamped roster. UC has dropped three straight after a promising (and boastful) 3-2 SU start, though last two defeats came against PAC-12 championship contenders. Quarterback (and coach’s offspring) Shedeur Sanders is third nationally in passing yardage, below only Michael Penix of UDUB and Trojans’ Caleb Williams and just might break the 3K-mark this week against AZ pass-D yielding just north of 232 pass yards per contest. ‘Cats were the ‘dogs in three of last four road tilts and squeezed by Stanford 21-20 as 12 ½ in the other one. Will the Boulder Bison excel (or at least be competitive) under Optimus Prime Time or simply go cold under Freon We think the former...Feral Felines 28 Buffs 21
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, no truth to the rumor that the fortunate-absence of Dorothy and Toto from the doomed-flight inspired yet-another installation of the “Final Destination” horror-movie series! Elsewhere further south, UTEP officials expressed relief that there was protection against Communist efforts to gather information from its playbook!
Air Force correctly showed up on the predicted side of line vs. Army. Good thing! Another forecast loss in the wake of a blown “lock” pick vs. Navy and we were prepared to confiscate its deluxe tents with mosquito netting, waterbeds and space-heaters pitched 30 yards or less from the on-base Burger King during “deployment” on “field exercises!
If a legendary Boston College quarterback meets Saturday morning TV staple HR -N-Stuf, is there a Magic Doug Flutie???!!!
Hooray Fer Da’ Little Guy: Hats off to the FCS Warriors of Merrimack for mere 31-21 loss to UMASS.
In June, fans of Joe Burrow were disappointed to hear him say he’d “listen to just about anything (music-wise) except country.” We offer a few tunes of said-genre that just might catch his attention and make the Bengals QB walk-back his assertion...”Lineman in Black” (Johnny Cash), “Ends in Low Places” (Garth Brooks), “’ 9-to-5" (Dolly Parton), “On the Road Game Again” (Willie Nelson) and ’ back...”I’m a Pick-'...and I’m a ’” (Hee-Haw's weekly tandem of Roy Clark and Buck Owens!).
Last Sunday, da’ hometown Raiders, desperately needing a win, beat the visiting NY Giants, who had undrafted rookie Tommy DeVito behind center. Given the 30-6 final , it might as well have been Danny DeVito!
Last Sunday, a female Maple Leafs fan, finding herself sans headgear to celebrate Toronto centerman Auston Matthews’ vs. Buffalo, launched her bra onto the ice. Apparently, she inadvertently (?) flashed the bench and got two minutes in the penalty box for “hooking”!!!!
This week’s featured member of the 2023 All-Vindicator Hockey Team...
Winger- . Connecticut State-St. Petersburg. Sophomore. 6’3” 450. Hometown: Apia, Samoa. Major: Haka Dance. Considered by many analysts to be “light on his feet” given his enormous size. In fact, back-up goalie for the “Hamill Camels”. Needs to work on his forechecking. Leads the NCAA in stick penalties.
During March Madness ‘23, Michigan State hoops coach Tom Izzo busted his whiteboard in two following a confrontation with officials during his team’s first round NCAA Tournament victory over USC. The referee wasn’t impressed by the display and channeled Bruce Lee’s character in “Enter the Dragon”, quipping, ... don’t hit back”. Adding insult-to-injury, da’ Spartans dropped their 2023 regular-season opener vs. Izzo’s nephew’s coached James Madison in extra-frames!)
Last July, Sin City sponsored “Brick Fest Live”. We were disappointed to learn that the event-in-question was about Lego creations rather than Shaquille O’Neal’s free-throw percentage!
If it was up to us, we’d re-write Charles Dickens’ opening text of “A Tailback of Two Cities” to read was the best of lines; It was the worst of lines.”
In August, CBS Sports.com noted that since becoming a member of Inter Miami’s soccer club this summer, Leo Messi trumpeted his goals by mimicking gestures associated with Marvel superheroes. In July, he outstretched his open hand (“calling” for the mystic Mjolnir hammer of Thor) following a score and displayed Black Panther's “Wakanda Forever” symbol after finding the back of the net a week later. A longtime Marvel comics aficionado, starting in the late 60’s, Vindicator stole a page from the soccer star’s post-goal playbook and after logging a forecast , has begun bending his middle and ring-fingers toward his palm imitating Spidey’s web-slinging motion, ’ Captain America’s shield-' and doffing his shoes and socks to randomly stomp-around to crush things beneath his feet a la the Hulk!
Black Shirt: This week’s fabulous finery goes to West Point LB Leo Lowin fer ringing-up a dozen tackles, a sack, a pair of forced fumbles and a fumble recovery, helping Army (+18 ½) upset Air Force, validating our “second choice fer lock” and just one of our two accurate Week 10 picks!
“Wish We Had It Back”: We called Texas –4 over K-State as our designated “wish”-pick. Ironically, we found ourselves cheering the Kansas State club we were betting against, down 3 late to hit da’ tying field goal to send the tilt into extras to give the T-Bones a shot to cover. Kitties came through, but Short-Horns did not, closing it out by just 3 in the ultimate 33-30 OT win.
“Locked in a Box: Last Week: 0-1 as UDUB and USC joined forces to nearly reach the century mark after we put our confidence in an “under 77”! Season: 4-6 (.400)
Shoppe Talk: This week’s lunch special is “steaks on the barbie” as the Longhorns fall to 0-3 (.000). (Frankly, we cheered the underdog KSU Wildcats to send the game to extras and give UT a shot at covering minus 4. Purple Persians kicked the tying FG in regulation as hoped, but Texas won by just 3 anyway!), Cattle are joined by USC (1-4, .250), LSU 2-4 (.333) and K-State (3-6, .333) dating back to last year!
Vindy’s Week 10 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-3 Season: 14-27 (.341)
SOUTH CAROLINA (-14) over Vanderbilt, NC State @ WAKE FOREST “under 43”, BOISE STATE (-26) over New Mexico, Troy @ UL-MONROE “under 45 ½”