PRE-RACE CROSS-OVER EVENT CREATES STRANGE BEDFELLOWS
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (AP)...Ahead of this weekend’s Las Vegas Grand Prix contest, the Wynn Golf Club sponsored the “Netflix Cup”, pairing top Formula One drivers with golf pros, who had to traverse the greens and fairways while riding in race cars rather than carts initially, tearing up the landscape much to the chagrin of regular duffers as they “played-through” while completing high-speed laps around the cart track and dodging significant divots along the way, but switched to traditional vehicles on the back-nine. The competitors then could make pit-stops for more fuel, new tires and water bottles. The yellow flag came out only once...when a car spun into a sand-trap, spewing debris, clubs and tees across the course, then careened into a water hazard, leaving both occupants wet but unharmed!
The casinos are now offering our fumbling forecaster VIP status perks, including a dedicated cocktail server and a deluxe monogrammed Murphy bed in the book to entice him into spending more time in-house taking into account his most-recent 1-4 tally (22-29-3, .431...5-15, .250 stumble).
Hopin’ to hear Bill Murray say “It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!” after a long putt fer birdie with...
THE WEBER KID’S 2023 WEEK 12 FORECAST
(As broadcast over a megaphone from inside da’ blue medical tent!)
SAT. NOV. 18
#5 Washington (+2) over #10 OREGON STATE: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Slight lean toward the “over 64” as well figurin’ the 15-7 dubya over the Shun Devils was a “blue-eyed frog” amid high-scoring affairs (5-2 “over”). UDUB kept Utah off da’ board fer da’ final 30 minutes to win 35-28, no thanks to dumbass LB Alphonso Tuputala , who prematurely released the pigskin from his possession short of the goal-line on what woulda’ been a 76-yard pick-six. Huskies have led many a bettor to take a BIC lighter to their tickets, going 1-4-1 ATS over last six, but have knocked off Oregon, Sudden Cal and Utah (all Top 25 at the time) by at least three. Last trey in the series has been decided by 6, 3 and 3. Beavers have won all five home games this year outright, 9 in a row and 17 of past 18 in Corvallis. Washington QB Michael Penix is atop the nation in passing yardage and provides a definite edge in that capacity. State runs for about 200 yards per game and will need to use that effectively to keep Penix off the field. State gives up a possibly deceptive 333 passing yards per game. Huskies can, however, counter with RB Dillon Johnson, who has averaged 180 yards per contest against USC and Utah the last two tilts...Sled Dogs 37 OSU 31
IOWA STATE (+7 ½) over #7 Texas: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #1. We passed on settling on the “below 48” by that much (placing our index finger millimeters above our thumb!) On a 5-15 downward spiral regarding our starting five, we might rue not selecting the “under 48 ½”, but ‘Horns slid by the TCU Horny Toads, permitting a pair of scores in the final 6 minutes. Second of back2back roadies fer the Steers. ‘Shorthorns’ last five tilts have resulted in failing ATS in four of ‘em, with four of those decided by a TD or fewer. Austin Angus triumphed 24-21 but have beat the line in only 7 of last fifteen giving points on the tarmac. Dust Devils have celebrated 3 of last 4 vs. Burnt Orange. State is in four-way logjam for bridesmaid behind Texas for the conference lead and shows just second-lowest points-against the B12 (behind the Norman Schooners) and banging the boards just north of 4 ppg fewer. Quinn Ewers is back on the gridiron at QB for Texas, but barring untimely turnovers by ISU…"Send in Da’ ‘Clones’” 23 Medium Rare 23
#11 MISSOURI (-12) over Florida: Top-ranked Joja’ visiting #21 Tennessee is prolly of more significance, ‘Dawgs have burned us their last half-dozen forecast at-bats, so we’re not gonna’ throw in their direction this time. Speaking of the aforementioned Vols, Florida won by 13 in Gainesville in mid-September, while Mizzou stuffed Rocky Top’s vaunted running game en route to an easy 36-7 victory last weekend in Columbia. Tigers only two defeats came vs. LSU and at Georgia. Crocs are on 0-3 SU/ATS slide and play their 4th game away from Da’ Swamp in last five contests. Last two years have been tightly contested with Mizzou eking out at 24-23 win in ‘21 and Amphibians winning 24-14 at home in ‘22. Gators have gone “over” in last six (4 of ‘em over today’s total of 59) and covered just once in last four vs. the Top 25 (falling by 13, 23 and 17). MU has ended “under” in six of most recent ten. Layin’ the juice here...Missouri 34 Florida 17
FLORIDA ATLANTIC (+9) over #17 Tulane: “Over 46 ½” would also be a feasible selection. Green Wafers travel east off challenging 24-22 dubya over Tulsa on the strength of a 100-yard kickoff return-fer-score. Tulane is 9-1 outright (going down only vs. Ole Missed in early September) and is undefeated in AAC play. Owls have to win here and next week at Rice to qualify for the bowls in Tom Herman’s first year as HC in Boca Raton. FAU, Phil Steele’s preseason “#6 Most Improved Team”, and Senior-heavy on offense, brought back 8 on offense and 11 on D, but the returning production has not panned out with Owls at 3-3 SU/2-3-1 ATS to-date. Tulane has covered just once in past six and gone 5-1 “under” in that time (though 4 of those were above 46 ½). Last four Wave wins were by 7, 3, 2 and 2. Barnyard Birds are conceding just short of 30 ppg. Breakers entertain UTSA (currently in three-way tie for the conference lead with Tulane and SMU) next week...Waifs 31 Hooters 24
#22 North Carolina (+6 ½) over CLEMSON: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #2. “Somewhat” of a curious line. ‘Heels may be fatigued following the 15-point collapse and eventual double-overtime shoot-out escape against Duke and now hit the conference road here. UNC is one game loss ahead of the Tigers, both SU losses coming against Virginia at home (1-8 SU FBS) and Georgia Tech (3-3 at the time). Tigers have exited the gridiron victorious in 17 of past 19 at home and blasted UNC 39-10 in ‘22 ACC conference title match. Marc Lawrence notes ‘Heels 0-5 subsequent to Joja’ Tech. Nothing about Clemson’s record in ‘23 here spurs us to spot it more than a touchdown and no indication Carolina’s Heisman candidate QB Drake Maye is injured...UNC 33 Clemson 28
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, losing “Cup” teams were relegated to scouring the greens to retrieve lost balls, protected only by racing helmets while the winning duo took turns trying to pepper the designated vehicles from the driving range! No truth to da’ rumor that Wilson Flight balls hitting the flags burst into flame!
Was it just us or did anyone else out there viewing the Michigan @ Penn State game think the “Stripe-Out” strategy made the venue look like 1) a headless zebra or 2) a giant piano keyboard??!!! (Which was apropos since the Nits got “played”!). Frankly, we expected Elton John to supplant the traditional marching bands thing at halftime and emerge to much fanfare from the stadium tunnel and tickle the over-sized “ivories” to perform such classics as “Tackle in the Wind”, “Mad Lineman Across the 4th Quarter” and “I Guess That’s Why They Call It Big Blues”. More thoughts on this next week.
Now with two defeats, and no shot to win their division, much less a Big Temper-Tantrum conference championship, we wish good luck to the Nits in whatever prestigious post-season destination they land in, likely to be the Mucinex 12-Hour Cough Suppressant Bowl.
The Washington Commanders had their moniker pooh-poohed back in May by an organization that already had a trademark on the nickname. Many of the subsequent suggestions centered on military/naval affiliations, but here were our offerings...Washington River Crossings, Monuments, Dee Cees, West Wings, Smithsonians and Lewinskis (yeah, yeah...save the hate-mail fer somebody who cares!). Do we hear “Commandos” if players wore nada under the uniform bottoms!
This week’s featured member of the 2023 All-Vindicator Hockey Team...
Defenseman- Felipe “Sergei” Ramirez. Vermont Academy of the Arts. Redshirt Senior. 6’6 129. Hometown: Alamogordo, New Mexico. Major: Ballet. Two-sport athlete who also punts for the “Bunny Slopes” football squad. Idolizes Mikhail Baryshnikov and uses his ever-evolving dance moves and slender frame to deliver crushing hip-checks (or so he tells himself).
If da’ NHL’s post-season championship hardware meets an aquarium, would it be called...The “Stanley Guppy!”??
The Academy of Art, based in San Francisco, fields a college hoops team in the Division II Pacific West Conference. Just wonderin’ if players on said-squad of “Urban Knights”, as part of their work-study program, hold strategically placed basketballs while non-student-athletes practice drawing/painting anatomical figures.
If a Lynyrd Skynyrd classic tune meets basketball rules across da’ Atlantic Ocean, do we hear “Gimme Three Euro-Steps"??!!
Black Shirt: This week’s Atta-Boy Attire goes to Boise State K Jonah Dalmas fer booting the spread-decisive FG early in the 4th Quarter allowing the Broncos (-26) to win by 28 over New Mexico!
“Wish We Had It Back”: We’d like to revisit our call of Florida State @ MIAMI “over fitty-one" after noting “we seriously considered taking Miami with 14 ½” in the wake of the ‘Noles’ 27-20 victory.
“Locked in a Box: Last Week: 0-1 as the ‘Noles and ‘Canes did not generate enuff scoring to exceed 51, as we alluded to earlier. Season: 4-7 (.363)
Shoppe Talk: Our featured taxidermy projects this week features the previously noted UGA ‘Dawgs (0-6, .000), Rebels of Old Mist (0-4 skid, .000), FSU Tribe (1-5, .166) and (GASP!) the Alma Mater (1-3, .250)!!!
Vindy’s Week 12 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 16-29 (.355)
NAVY (-3) over East Carolina, Hawaii @ WYOMING “under 46”, JACKSONVILLE STATE (-8) over Weeziana Tech, Colorado State @ NEVADA-RENO “under 47”, California @ STANFORD “under 55 ½”
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