PIGSKIN AT CENTER OF MILITARY SUMMIT
QUANTICO, Virginia (ITAR-Tass)...At the recent sudden and historic unprecedented gathering of more than 800 general-level officers from across the globe, “Secretary of War” Pete Hegseth extolled the virtues of the “Rainbow Warriors ethos”, pointing out the football team from University of Hawai’i is 4-2 (with an upset of Air Force as touchdown underdog) while Army and Air Force are a collective 3-7 with an upset by FCS Tarleton State and the Falcons’ sole victory coming over I-AA Bucknell. Only the Undersecretary of the Navy escaped derision considering the Midshipmen’s record of 5-0. Hegseth asserted that the leadership and their academy players need to “get fit, get onboard or get out.”, adding the acronym “FAFO” (Fumble Around and Find Out). Bringing the meeting to an end, Hegseth, after mandating team training tables be replaced by daily MREs (meals-ready-to-eat), led the high-ranking contingent in a traditional Haka dance, complete with the requisite lingual gyrations.
We scratched out a one-game improvement over Week 5, going 2-3 (17-13, .567) and none of the losses were even close.
Vindicator’s taking his drip (whatever da’ hell that means) to da’ sportsbook with...
THE WEBER KID’S WEEK 7 FORECAST
(“Not as cool as Verizon”)
FRI. OCT. 10
#24 South Florida (-1) over NORTH TEXAS: USF has faced a tougher slate and as we suspected, is now chalk after opening at +2 ½. Mean Green defense was more like Serene Green in ‘24, coughing up nearly 500 yards offense to its opponents, but has gotten much better since then (316 ypg at the moment and 25 ppg against I-A foes [down from 35 ppg last year]) and was Phil Steele’s #5 Most Improved Team in the preseason. Bulls are slightly more generous at 379 ypg including contest at Miami and are scoring 29 ppg while yielding miserly 16 ppg (‘Canes notwithstanding). Only the Bulls’ 54-26 outcome vs. lowly Charlotte finished above the posted total and nothing else got close, so “under 67” is potentially the best way to go here. North Texas (5-0 SU) has a pair of games in extra time and might see a third here. We like South Florida’s 18-16 victory in the Swamp more than NT’s 45-38 dubya in OT at West Point ...USF 30 UNT 27
SAT. OCT. 11
#1 Ohio State (-14) over #17 ILLINOIS: Fun fact of da’ week...Buckeyes’ natty victory last season marked the first consecutive national titles fer da’ Big Tangle Conference since 1940-42! The OSU defense established the theme early holding Texas to 7 to start the campaign. None of the four subsequent opponents have topped 9, much like the first five tilts last year. Having said that, Game Six saw the Buckeyes get dented for 32 in loss at Eugene, but UI ain’t UO. Illinois was exposed in 63-10 “behind the woodshed” beating at Indiana, which went for 267 passing yards and 5 TDS with more than 300 yards rushing. Illini were fortunate to get by USC the following Saturday. Nuts have won ATS in 7 of last 8 facing ranked teams. The Illini are on 8-1 SU streak in Urbana-Champaign and State is due for a letdown, but we don’t see it here. If Julian Sayin gets any help at all from the ground game...THE Ohio State 37 UI 10
#6 Oklahoma (+1) over Texas (@ Dallas, TX): LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Don’t let the relative closeness of the Texas-Florida match fool ya. It was all Gators...all day. Arch Manning, who played “more like an accountant”, was sacked six times. OK is tied for 2nd in sacks with 21, behind only Western Michigan as well as 2nd in points allowed and tops in yards allowed. Regardless of it’s Heisman candidate John Mateer returning from injury or back-up Michael Hawkins under center, Sooners’ offense will be more than equipped to beat the ‘Horns. Until 2024, history shows high-scoring outings in this series, though Oklahoma has put up a mere 37 total points across the past three. Texas is 3-7 in last 10 on neutral turf but Manning has a chance here if he leaves his Warbey Parker specs in his locker...Boomer Schooner 30 Steers 20
#8 Alabama @ #14 MISSOURI (“under 51 ½”): Sixth consecutive contest for the Tigers in Columbia where they’ve been damn-near untouchable the past 3 ½ seasons (last walking off Faurot Field on the wrong side of the final score in early October ‘23) and per Marc Lawrence, Mizzou has covered 11 of last 12 getting points here with revenge. Elephants white-washed Missouri 34-0 last year. ‘Bama is now 9-4 against ranked foes but unsatisfactory 6-10 as fave away from Tuscaloosa. Three of Tide’s games have gone beneath this total and the Wisconsin match came in at 52. Aside from 31 to Kansas, Mizzou’s scoring D is yielding just north of 10 ppg. Alabama did us a solid by keeping the Florida State game “under 50 ½”. We go back to the well...Pachyderms 24 Show Me State 20
ARIZONA (+2) over #18 Brigham Young: Cougs show a historical trend of losing at least one of their first half-dozen games (though went 9-0 last year before getting whacked and most of the starters from that team are gone). At 5-0 with wins over no one of note, this looks like as good a spot as any for that to happen. Mormons belted the Childless Cat Ladies 41-19 last season and are currently tied for #5 in most scrimmage plays of 40 or more yards and tied at #2 for most rushing plays of 40 or more yards but points-against has gradually increased with every tilt on the year and BYU may peek ahead to its annual Holy War match against Utah, who could be ranked when that one kicks off. If the Wildcats can keep everything in front of them defensively, they can take this one...AZ 27 Brigham Young 24
BONUS COVERAGE- #3 Oregon @ #7 INDIANA “over 54 ½”: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. Hoosiers were reportedly offended by the insinuation that the 2024 squad (11-2) was a one-and-done, flash-in-da'-pan. Mallards didn’t really face an offense in Happy Valley until the 4th Quarter. That won’t be the case here. Indy survived a 20-15 pillow fight at Iowa, but Oregon will need to get its potent running game going early. Indiana has no specific studs for Mean Green to focus on, but Indy still ranks fifth in total yards. Hoosiers give up fewer than 10 ppg. Drakes allow just 12.2, but neither side has encountered an offense akin to the one each other fields. Ducks dodged a bullet at Penn State. UI throttled its only quality opponent...Indy 34 Quack Attack 31
BETWEEN DA’ HASHMARKS
BTW, going forward, a certain tongue-length will be part of the requirements to join the armed forces!
Bettors backing Oklahoma –45 ½ over the Gilded Flushes musta’ been launching a variety of projectiles at the TV screen with each scoreless Sooners drive after Okie-Doke went up 44-zip with about 4 minutes left in the 3rd Quarter then went into hibernation.
Similarly, those who wagered on the Admirals +11 got hosed when ‘Bama, up 9 at the Vandy 20, could have simply run out the clock but scored a meaningless TD allowing the Tide to cover (but Vandy did hurt itself with two Red Zone turnovers).
All we can say after the Alma Mater got the dubious distinction of being the first Top 10 squad to fall against an 0-4 club (UCLA) in four decades is...”Show James the Flames”. In addition, the Bruins were one of eight teams that had not beaten a Top 10 club in the past decade.
Having fallen to Illinois this Saturday, Purdue has now lost 11 straight games played within one week of the release of a new Taylor Swift album (“The Life of a Showgirl” dropped on Friday). Officials in West Lafayette are petitioning Tay Tay’s production team to not put out any albums during the college football season!
Crappy Match-Up of Da’ Week: UMess 0-5 (including loss vs. FCS Bryant) @ CAN’T STATE 1-4 (only win was 21-17 over FCS Merrimack). Fer inquiring mimes that wanna’ know, the Golden Flushes are –2 ½ in this travesty.
Rabbit-related performers we’d rather see do the Super Bowl 60 halftime show...Bugs Bunny, Capt. Kangaroo’s “Bun-Bun” and Enchanted Bunny from The Big Bang Theory!
Two weeks ago, Las Vegas Raiders rookie Darien Porter went outta’ bounds on Washington’s punt return for touchdown and explicably stayed there resulting in a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. Guess who spent Sunday night and Monday polishing helmets and scrubbing cleats with the equipment manager supervising his efforts!
Being “old school”, we’d like to see a return to the 80’s and 90’s and have the papal choices be submitted on cards taken from the back of cereal boxes, a la Major League Baseball All-Star voting! Meanwhile, the traditional stove could be used to announce winners of the MVP, Cy Young and Gold Gloves awards!
Hockey season is in full-swing, so yer humble-host placed a futures-wager on da’ Vindy-peg Jets to win da’ Stanley Cup!
Black Shirt: This week’s bombastic blouse goes to Seminoles coach Mike Norvell for his curious decision to take a FG from the Miami 17 down 9 with 20 seconds to play, keeping the Hurricanes up 6 for the cover.
“Lock of Da’ Week”: Last Week: 1-0 Season: 4-2 (.667) The Red Raiders (-12) outscored Houston almost 3-1 to validate the “lock” choice.
Vindy’s Week 7 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-3 (.250) Season: 10-14 (.417)
Houston –14 ½ over OKLAHOMA STATE, Weeziana @ JAMES MADISON “under 46”, Texas Christian @ KANSAS STATE “under 55”, Troy + over TEXAS STATE
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