NEW MAJOR LEAGUE PARK TO GET INDOOR WEDDING SITE
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (TMZ)...Already certainly no stranger to venues where tourists and locals alike can get hitched, Sin City appears poised to gain yet another one. Plans for the new formerly-known-as-the-Oakland Athletics ballpark include an actual wedding chapel within the structure of the stadium itself. Patrons will have a multitude of options for joining in holy matrimony. Choices for the nuptials, to be presided over by an umpire, will consist of, though not be limited to the “Double Play” in which a pair of couples are married simultaneously or the “Check-Swing” (AKA the “Left on Base”) when one partner knows ahead of time that they’re not going to go through it. The organist will play and encourage attendees to join in singing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” as the bride “walks” down the aisle after a groomsman tosses four pitches outside the strike-zone. At some point, an exchanging of vows will occur, in which the participants will say “With this glove, I thee wed.”. Ceremonies will eventually conclude upon hearing “By the warning-track power vested in me by the Oakland A’s, I now pronounce you second baseman and wife. You may now force out the bride.”
We had a forecast dubya in pocket before Saturday’s contests even began but a very promising 3-0 start by the time the afternoon games kicked off suddenly went all “Color me ‘Casper’” and vanished, leaving us with a mundane 3-3 tally (20-16, .555). Though our choice of Oregon-Indiana “over 54 ½” went into the loss column, we still take a bow for calling the Hoosiers’ (+7) upset of the Ducks.
Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to accept the Nobel Prize in literature for scribbling...
THE WEBER KID’S WEEK 8 FORECAST
(Gettin' caught in the weeds!)
SAT. OCT. 18
#5 Mississippi (+7) over #9 GEORGIA: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. “Under 54” deserves a thought too. According to multiple sources, ‘Dawgs got a disproportionate amount of assistance from the zebras in 20-10 win at Auburn. Already down 10, Joja’ also got a goal-line turnover to keep Aubie from an early 17-0 lead. On the other sideline, Lane Kiffin’s name has been bandied about as a possible replacement in central PA after James Franklin got jettisoned. Ole Miss was no doubt fixed in a lookahead, squeaking by Wazzou 24-21 last weekend as a 33-point favorite. Rebels are 1-2 in conference play to-date, adding to its now 9-15-3 ATS record in the SEC over the past three-plus seasons. Joja’ slipped by Tennessee and lost to the Tide and shows ongoing 9-19 slide as chalk. Despite a couple low-scoring affairs of late, Mississippi is still 5th in total yards (500+ per game), including 204 ypg on the ground. Bulldogs concede less than 92 rushing yards per contest but won’t likely jump out far enough to force Ole Miss into abandoning the run...Magnolia State 26 Peach State 20
#7 Texas Tech (-7 ½) over ARIZONA STATE: ASU is better than bad 42-10 falter at Utah but AP Poll voters cleaned house last week and State got swept up in the net that bounced five teams from the rankings. Sam Leavitt is listed as “week-to-week" at the moment and reserve QB Jeff Sims showed his lack of playing time in that setback. There’s also not much of a running game for the Sun Devils, who lost 30-22 last season, are Phil Steele’s #6 Surprise Team, the reigning Big Twelve champs and 5-0-1 ATS in last six against the Top 25 (5-1 outright with only a double-OT fall in the Peach Bowl). 49 ½ represents a significant low for posted totals on Tech contests, but starter Behren Morton is “day-to-day". There’s not much decline in going with Will Hammond at quarterback and he’s fleet-of-foot as well. TTU’s smallest MOV is 24 and the Red Raiders haven’t permitted any more than 17 by any opponent. “Guns Up” has ripped off four consecutive covers (all “under” too). We like ‘em to make it five...Texas Tech 34 Solar Demons 17
#10 Louisiana State @ #17 VANDERBILT (“under 48 ½”): Just the fourth home fave role in five seasons for the ‘Dores, whose surprisingly prolific offense got only a pair of touchdowns at ‘Bama and hasn’t knocked off anyone special. Best win was at South Carolina, but the Gamehens are floundering at 1-3. Tigers no great shakes taking points on the road, but have at least lined up across from Clemson, Florida and Ole Miss (winning two and losing by five in Oxford). The D continues to be stout, allowing south of 12 ppg. Vandy’s giving up more than 22 ppg in FBS play. Prior to his team’s three-score loss in Tuscaloosa, Admirals QB Diego Pavia publicly claimed “If we play our game, it won’t be close”. Maybe DP will keep his pie-hole shut this week. Pavia’s 71.4% completion rate and 14-4 ratio outshine Nussmeier’s 66.2% and 9-5 TD-to-INT ratio, but again, bear in mind the difference in level of competition. Grabbing the 2 ½ points with da’ Bengals seems to be an easy gift, so we’ll speculate on the total instead...LSU 24 Boat People 19
#12 Georgia Tech (+1) over DUKE: Oddly, this spread opened at Dukies –2 ½. Home field ad? Yes. Rested after the week off? Okay. QB Darian Mensah fifth nationally in passing yardage (1800+) with a 15-2 ratio and hasn’t thrown a pick since mid-September? Uh huh. Top three backs are collectively rushing at 6.7 yards per carry? Fine. Bees are 6-0 for the first time in 14 seasons and posting 477 yards per game on offense. QB Haynes King needs 29 yards to hit 1000 and is Tech’s leading rusher, averaging 73 per contest. Duke is air-heavy while the Ramblin’ Wreck is balanced and has beaten Duke four straight times. Devils got smoked by Illinois and fell by a TD at Tulane. They are tied for second-most conference victories over the last three-plus years with Louisville (17). Will the off-week stifle the momentum of Duke’s 3-0 SU/ATS run? Can’t wait to see GT bust out the Honeycomb Spinning Huddle play (yes, that’s really a thing!)...Joja’ Teck 31 Blue Devils 27
#20 Southern Cal (+9 ½) over #13 NOTRE DAME: Difficult to gauge the true scoring defenses here Since Troy’s opponents have finished between 13 and 34 while Irish have allowed between 7 and 41. Trojans have dropped three of last four in this rivalry to the tune of 15, 28 and 14 but have won ATS in five of last six as road dogs. ND is on current 10-4-1 surge laying points in South Bend. The total on this game is 62. Can’t ignore the fact USC is crushing it at 45.5 ppg and the Leprechauns aren’t far behind at 40.5 ppg. Our Lady was favored vs. Miami and Texas A&M and lost both tilts outright. SoCal prolly isn’t quite as good as those two clubs so we’ll forgo declaring an upset but we anticipate Trojans staying within single-digits in a wild one, maybe in overtime...Four-Leaf Clovers 35 USC 32
BETWEEN DA’ HASHMARKS
BTW, if a “Cracker Jack” is selected, guests will shower the newlyweds with caramel-coated popcorn and peanuts, along with tiny packages containing cheap, cheesy plastic surprise toys! And in any case...”Unauthorized use, reproduction or rebroadcast of the event without the expressed, written consent of Major League Baseball will be strictly prohibited.” More thoughts on this one next week!
Referring back to our musings on Ole Miss-Georgia, Auburn HC Hugh Freeze has been unhappy with SEC officiating crews in general. FYI Mizzou, yer on notice!
Crappy Game(s) of Da’ Week: Texas-El Pasture (1-5, only win came over FCS UT-Martin) @ SAM HOUSTON STATE (0-6, this one was played Wednesday night...Miners now have their first FBS win, Sam Who’s Dat fell to 0-7), Akron (2-4, one via thrashing FCS Duquesne) @ over BALL STATE (2-4, lucky to squeeze past FCS New Hampshire) [Editor’s Note: both sides have been shut out twice. We’d take the visiting Zips +1 ½). Other-Than-Honorable Mention: Joja’ State (1-5 with sole victory over I-AA Murray State) @ GEORGIA SUDDEN (2-4, beat FCS Maine). Fun fact of da’ week: these last two teams are among the 19 FBS clubs that have never been ranked in the AP Poll. See our “best bets” segment below.
Crappy Lookahead Game of Da’ Week: Assuming a loss this weekend by Joja’ State, the Panthers will meet South Alabama on 10/23 and both will be 1-6 (and winless in FBS matches).
In January, the Las Vegas Raiders announced Pete Carroll as da’ new head coach. Newly acquired GM John Spytek stated “I can’t wait to see what ‘Compete for Pete’ looks like. Should the team falter again the way it did last season (a distinct possibility given the 2-4 record and –46 point differential) and is in position to allow the new coach to have input into drafting a top 5 pick in the 2026 draft, will the late year mantra be....”Take an Arrow for Carroll”, “Unravel fer Carroll”, “Throw Incomplete fer Pete” or “Go Deadbeat fer Pete”???!!!
On Thursday night, 41-year-old Aaron Rodgers and the Steelers will square-off against 40-year-old Joe Flacco and his fellow Bengals. Will fans expecting a football contest be present when a Bingo game suddenly breaks out?! No truth to the rumor that water bottles for the two quarterbacks were replaced with Ensure shakes.
Hooray fer Da’ Little Guy: Lafayette (atop the FCS Patriot League at 5-2 [though lost at Bowling Green in August]) over Oregon State (0-7 and just canned their head coach)
Black Shirt: This week’s titanic tank top goes to ‘Bama DB Dijon Lee Jr. For snaring a pick at the Tide 32, ending Mizzou’s scoring drive that woulda’ sent the total “over 51 ½”, instead keeping the final math at 51. Honorable Mention to Illini punter Keelan Crimmins for accidentally touching his knee down while fielding a snap before the kick to give Ohio State a short field for an eventual three-pointer, helping the Buckeyes cover –14.
“Lock of Da’ Week”: Last Week: 0-1 Season: 4-3 (.571) Sooners continued their recent history of minimal scoring in the Red River Shoehorn, gently stroking the board for a pair of FGs in loss to the Longhorns.
Vindy’s Week 8 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-1 (.750) Season: 13-15 (.464)
Buffalo @ UMASS “under 44 ½”, Wyoming +4 ½ over AIR FORCE, Penn State @ IOWA “over 39 ½”, GEORGIA SUDDEN –6 ½ over Georgia State
No comments:
Post a Comment