Championship Week 2022 (Continued)
SAT. DEC. 3
SEC Championship (@ Atlanta, GA)
#1 Georgia vs. #11 Louisiana State (“under 52”): Busted out da’ Dungeons & Dragons dice, darts, baseball flip-cards, coins and even consulted a voodoo priestess to predict some kinda’ outcome here. Best guess fer “wish we had it back”. No faith in any choice, but this one produced the least amount of consternation...Bengals can’t trade roundhouses, so need to keep the scoreboard as dim as possible, reduce the possible number of Joja’ possessions and rely on D, conservative play-calling and a big day from punter Jay Bramblett (whose stats at #88 in net-yardage at 38.9 per punt don’t excite us) to have a snowball’s chance. ‘Dawgs, minus an outright loss, remain in the cat-bird seat for the playoffs regardless of what happens lower. Tigers should be bolstered coming in by win over ‘Bama but UGA has been a machine, providing no glaring kinks in da’ pipe. Joja’ quarterback Stetson Bennett can add to his Heisman-hopes and LSU’s most-recent try resulted in an unexpected tumble 38-23 at A&M, spurring us to foresee ...Puppies 30 State 16
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, Chestnut and female-counterpart Miki Sudo have petitioned the IOC to make competitive-eating an Olympic medal-sport fer da. Summer Games!! Team, individual, and Mixed Doubles! BTW, two UFC fighters, walk into an arm-bar.....
We understand first- through fourth, but what play is the “goose-down”???!!!
A power outage in Ann Arbor just before Michigan’s game vs. Ohio State resulted in a couple dozen student-athletes being stuck on escalators for about seven hours. The officials showed no mercy, flagging the Wolverines for illegal formation and delay-of-game before they even arrived at the stadium!
Did anyone else notice that Tom Brady declared his intent to return to play for Tampa Bay 40 days after announcing his retirement from pro football. Vindy’s spies revealed the GOAT actually constructed a modern-day “ark” ahead of that decision, collecting a pair of players at each position (minus his own [though he could’ve relegated an extra-QB to third-string)) to wait-out the biblical number of days and nights in an effort to repopulate the Buccaneers!
College hoops fans have recently let their voice be known that it’s time to update the traditional song that plays while the Big Dance champions are crowned. We propose...”One Shining...Mojo...er...um...Moe, Larry & Curly...uh...Mos Eisley (fer da’ Star Wars fans!)...Motorboat...or...Mogen David 20-20! (Raise yer hand if yer old enuff to have tasted said fine-adult-beverage from the 70’s!)
As we approached the betting window to place a rare NFL wager recently, da’ bookie did his best Spaghetti Western-character impersonation, quipping...”This town ain’t big enough for the cover-two of us!”
1995 All-Terror Hockey Team
WING: Damian “D.D.” Chocahnapuc: Southern New Hampshire A&M. Junior. 6’8” 395. Hometown: Kingston, Jamaica. Major: Logging. Coaches managed to lure this juggernaut away from the Jamaican Jr. National Hockey Team. Has a devastating 250mph slap shot. Often scores from his own blue-line and unseats the net in the process. All-time leading scorer fer da’ Yetis
CENTER: Peter “Pot-Hole” Brett: Brea State University-Tampa. Freshman. 6’1” 454. Hometown: New Orleans, Louisiana. Major: Road Construction. Wears cleats instead of skates. Creates a lot of gaping holes in the ice to deter would=be defenders. Once had a goal fer da’ Wooly-Mammoths disallowed and was ejected for a period due to excessive pine-tar on his stick handle.
DEFENSEMAN: Anthony “Toothless Tony” Rigatelli: Our Lady of the Igloo Presbyterian. Senior. 5’ 5” 490. Hometown: Boston, Massachusetts. Major: Speech Communications. A converted high-school goalie. Absolutely fearless. Stops opponents’ passes and shots using any available part of his body, including his face. Hard-hitting competitor who often cross-checks his own Snow-cones teammates to get to the puck.
More lyrics from the Shaq/Neil Young colab we mentioned last week...”It’s better to step-out than it is to rushhhh...”. BTW, the longtime rocker could still beat Shaq in a game of “Crazy HORSE”!!!
If soccer meets a medical examiner, is there a coroner kick?!
Black Shirt: The joyous jersey is awarded to UDUB K Peyton Henry fer the successful 20-yard chippie three with just over five-minutes to play that locked in the Sled Dogs –2 spread-win over rival Cougars!
“Lock of Da’ Week”: War Eagle fell by exactly 22, landing on a meaninglessly soft pillow, doing no harm to our “lock” record to 7-5-1 (.583)
Shoppe Talk: Meeshigan (now 2-4, .333 season and 2-7-1, .222 back to ‘21!) gets credited with a week outside Da’ Shoppe after smokin’ da’ Buckeyes!
Vindy’s Week 14 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 26-32 (.448)
Coastal Carolina (+8) over TROY (Spun Belt Championship), Fresno State (+3) over BOISE STATE (Doubted West Championship)
Looming on da’ horizon...our musings on Army-Navy!
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